Another Moment With Betty Butterfield

And if you're wondering:

Leviticus 15:25

Weekend Roundup

Mozzarella sticks and potato skins lead to three-ways.

You know you're obnoxious when people at the Daily Kos say you're obnoxious.

Florida voting may be fucked up, but it's not that fucked up.

John Edwards hates mills.

St. Barack of Obama is black. And you're not.

Someone needs to explain to Chris Matthews what a lesbian is.

Someone needs to explain to Florida State Sen. Gary Siplin what a lawmaker is.

[Redacted] released her [Redacted].

Osama and Nazi Pope totally want to make out.

I can still call Carl Stanley McGee a tummysticks-playing kid toucher even though the State of Florida won't.

Old white Republicans are really gonna be pissed next year when a bunch of black and brown people are running around the White House "touching things."

Selected Reading From Ron Paul Forum

Time once again to see what Paultards are chattering about, even though they know that Dr. Congressman L. Ron Paultard has no chance of becoming Preznit of Ameros.

This from a genius piece of work entitled Ignoring Dr. Paul:

Reality will show soon enough that Ron Paul was right when he was saying that keeping on printing money out of thin air and not taking counter messures would make the recession become worse. No other presidential candidate mentioned this unpopular message in the debates then Dr. RON PAUL. All others seem to have no idea most probebly....totaly blind deaf and dumb. Reality will come soon enough though. Wonder if this comming resession is going to help Dr. Ron Paul to get the attention he needs to get known by those who never even heared from him before...thanks to the criminal MSM.

And, of course, some replies:

They were ignoring Ron Paul when he was talking about the North American highway. Now, the MSM are all talking about it. Ron Paul is not a liar, so why do americans turn a blinds eye and a deaf ear?

I am proud to have taken the proverbial red pill and asking questions. I am no longer blind nor deaf. I am especially not afraid of terrorists. I have more fear of the IRS and dictatorships.

After talking about what happened to me back in 1993 with police officers in a small town in Ga. to a Black man, the Black man said to me, "Now you know how we feel." That was the day I woke up. Even though I didn't see it when the police officers violated my 4th. amendment, it took a non-bias Black man to wake me up. I have never been back to sleep and that has put me on a few list in Florida. I don't really care about being on a list, cause I do no wrong.

i believe anything now after what they`re doing to me.

If we go threw with the whole North American highway, whats the point in borders between US/Canada and US/Mexico.

Lemmings are absolutely terrified at the thought of being labeled as an "extremist" or a "conspiracy theorist". Ironically, the very same lemmings who instinctively ridicule all "conspiracy theories", are always the first ones to blindly swallow the most ridiculous conspiracy theories imaginable when the government and media present them!

Message to the producers of The Hobbit Movie: HURRY THE FUCK UP, MOVE THE RELEASE DATE TO THIS YEAR AND GIVE THESE RETARDS SOMETHING TO DO!!!

via Ron Paul Forum

Hero of the Day: Cody Coulston

Yeh, we have a heart.

Sometimes.

From NWF Daily News:

“I saw an older boy out there and screamed to him,” Sue’s voice trailed off into tears. “I screamed to him, ‘Save my boy.’ ”

Cody Coulston, 14, was swimming with a family friend nearby and was working to get her to shore when he heard Sue’s cries.

“I saw his mom swimming toward us and she looked real tired,” Cody said. “I knew I had to help.”




via NWF Daily News

Douchebag of the Day: Heather Mills

Some background:



Turns out that the unipod is *GASP* a hypocrite:

Heather Mills was exposed as a hypocrite last night — for failing to buy first-class flights for daughter Beatrice.

Mucca slammed ex Sir Paul McCartney on Monday for forcing the four-year-old to travel “B Class” after their bitter divorce — while he flew “A Class”.

She haughtily vowed to pay for Beatrice’s first-class travel herself.

But details obtained by The Sun show the one-legged gold-digger has ALREADY failed to live up to her pledge.

Heather, dubbed Pornocchio after her divorce judge branded her a scheming liar, jets to New York this weekend to rest after her court war with ex-Beatle Paul, 65.

But she is sending Bea home early with a minder and nanny in the £409 seats at the back of a Virgin jet.

Mucca, 40, will fly to LA the same day for a further three weeks before jetting home alone — in a £3,348 Virgin Upper Class berth.

The translation from limey jibberish to 'merican?

Heather Mills flies first class while she lets her toddler fly coach.

Heather Mills: Douchebag of the Day

via The Sun

McCaintards

It had to happen

More On Her Experience

Hillary likes to brag about the trip she took in 1996 to the Balkans:

"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."
--Hillary Clinton, speech at George Washington University, March 17, 2008.

...Hillary Clinton has been regaling supporters on the campaign trail with hair-raising tales of a trip she made to Bosnia in March 1996. In her retelling, she was sent to places that her husband, President Clinton, could not go because they were "too dangerous." When her account was challenged by one of her traveling companions, the comedian Sinbad, she upped the ante and injected even more drama into the story. In a speech earlier this week, she talked about "landing under sniper fire" and running for safety with "our heads down."

There are numerous problems with Clinton's version of events.

...According to Sinbad, who provided entertainment on the trip along with the singer Sheryl Crow, the "scariest" part was deciding where to eat. As he told Mary Ann Akers of The Post, "I think the only 'red-phone' moment was: 'Do we eat here or at the next place.'" Sinbad questioned the premise behind the Clinton version of events. "What kind of president would say 'Hey man, I can't go 'cause I might get shot so I'm going to send my wife. Oh, and take a guitar player and a comedian with you."

Replying to Sinbad earlier this week, Clinton dismissed him as "a comedian." Her campaign referred me to Togo West, who was also on the trip and is a staunch Hillary supporter. West could not remember "sniper fire" himself, but said there was no reason to doubt the First Lady's version of events. "Everybody's perceptions are different," he told me.

Jesus. You know your time has come and gone when 90's comedians are trashing you. Next week, it'll be Paula Poundstone.




Try again.

via Washington Post

Clinton, Inc. Kinda Douchebags To Mexico Bill

Even though the Clintons let Bill Richardson crash their casa for the Superbowl and eat all the chips and dip his chubby hands could hold, Mexico Bill endorsed St. Barack of Obama.

Now he's firing back at some criticism he received from Sen. Thundercunt's campaign:

Bill Richardson criticized a Clinton campaign adviser Friday for suggesting his endorsement of Barack Obama is insignificant.

"I resent the fact that the Clinton people are now saying that my endorsement is too late because I only can help with Texans — with Texas and Hispanics, implying that that's my only value," the New Mexico governor told CNN's John King.

"That's typical of some of his advisers that kind of turned me off."Earlier Friday, Clinton campaign senior strategist Mark Penn said he thought Richardson's endorsement came too late to make an impact.

“The time that he could have been effective has long since passed," Penn told reporters on a conference call. "I don’t think it is a significant endorsement in this environment.”

It's no secret that Mark Penn is a giant dickhole. But even that statement kinda set me back.

Mexico Bill also spoke of the dreaded phone call he made to the Clintons letting them know he was dumping them and then asked for his class ring back:

"It was painful and it wasn't easy," he said. "I've spoken to others who have had that same conversation and they say at the end, it’s not all that pleasant.

"The former Democratic presidential candidate declined to elaborate further on his conversation with Clinton.Last month, Chris Dodd — another former presidential candidate who decided to endorse Obama last month — said he had a "not comfortable" conversation with Clinton informing her of the news.

...Richardson, who held posts as the Secretary of Energy and the U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. in President Clinton’s administration, also said he "owes a lot to the Clinton family but I served well. I paid it back in service to the country."

Then this from the NY Times:

I talked to Senator Clinton last night,” Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico said on Friday, describing the tense telephone call in which he informed Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton that, despite two months of personal entreaties by her and her husband, he would be endorsing Senator Barack Obama for president.

“Let me tell you: we’ve had better conversations,” Mr. Richardson said.

...Mr. Clinton helped elevate Mr. Richardson to the national stage by naming him his energy secretary and ambassador to the United Nations. And Mr. Clinton left no doubt that he viewed Mr. Richardson’s support as important to his wife’s campaign: He even flew to New Mexico to watch the Super Bowl with Mr. Richardson as part of the Clintons’ high-profile courtship of him.

But Mr. Richardson stopped returning Mr. Clinton’s calls days ago, Mr. Clinton’s aides said. And as of Friday, Mr. Richardson said, he had yet to pick up the phone to tell Mr. Clinton of his decision.

The topper is the reaction of longtime Clinton body hiding gremlin, James Carville:

The reaction of some of Mr. Clinton’s allies suggests that might have been a wise decision. “An act of betrayal,” said James Carville, an adviser to Mrs. Clinton and a friend of Mr. Clinton.

“Mr. Richardson’s endorsement came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out for 30 pieces of silver, so I think the timing is appropriate, if ironic,” Mr. Carville said, referring to Holy Week.

Then Carville scurried back to his cave to feed on the bodies of dead hobos.


via CNN / NY Times

Happy Baby Jeebus Snuff Day™

Almost forgot to wish everyone a Happy Baby Jeebus Snuff Day™.

I'm still kinda confused on why Christianists get all excited over that kind of shit. That whole The Passion of the Christ infatuation a few years ago really threw me for a loop.

Anywho, thanks to Baby Jeebus Snuff Day™, I'm reminded Easter is in just a few days. Means........I still don't go to church.

However, by sheer coincidence, I am having tuna helper.

Panama Shitty News Herald Needs Enima

The Panama City News Herald editorial staff (shown above) have done it again.

If Exhibits A, B, C, and D were not sufficient evidence to convince you that the "paper" was run by incompetent fucktards, here's the semen stained dress:

“Woo! Spring Break. Woo!”

The shout is one of the most familiar sounds on Panama City Beach in March.

It can be heard emanating from off-road vehicles overflowing with passengers and inside nightclubs as local and national bands prepare to play. It’s the first sign of an afternoon of fun in the sun and the final gasp of a night that has lasted two drinks too long.

However, while most spring breakers have heard it, defining “Woo!” is a tricky task.

“I think it means everybody’s drunk,” said 19-year-old Hillary Renecker, a University of Akron student.

So, yeh. An entire thread dedicated to solving the burning question on everyone's mind: What does "Woo!" mean.

Wait, wait, wait........you knew there was a video, right?



Panama City News Herald: When reading Highlights for Children is just a little too confusing.

via Panama Shitty News Herald

Obama Defended By.....Chris Wallace?!?!?

He lays in to the asshats over at Fox & Friends:



Then one of the asshats walks off the set.

3am Girl Has More To Say

Rebuilding

From ajc:

While Atlanta police kept some downtown streets closed, MARTA reopened two entrances to the Peachtree Center rail station Thursday afternoon —- enough to get the station up and running.

No injuries have been reported in the days after the main storm knifed through Atlanta.

In addition to closings for safety reasons, some side streets were being closed intermittently to allow crews to work, the city said.

In Cabbagetown, Boulevard will be closed between Memorial Drive and Gartrell Street for the next few weeks while the walls of the Cotton Mill Lofts are made safe.



Day 8 and John Edwards is still nowhere to be found.

Story via ajc

Vid via Youtube user sjamesbradley

And The World Just Gets Scarier Day By Day

Proving that street cameras and wire tapping aren't the only angle that the powers that be can use to monitor and control our every move, Scotland Yard (which apparently is not a rugby field) wants to get all sciencey and take DNA samples from troubled students:

The director of Scotland Yard's forensics division says that Britain should be collecting DNA samples from any primary school children who show signs of behavior that exhibit a propensity for later crimes, according to an article in the Observer.

The Yard's Gary Pugh says the idea that trivial offenses committed early in life can forecast more serious crimes later in life is supported by studies, and that identifying these individuals when they're children would not only aid crime-solving later, but possibly deter some of these suspects from committing crimes when they're adults.

'If we have a primary means of identifying people before they offend, then in the long-term the benefits of targeting younger people are extremely large,' said Pugh. 'You could argue the younger the better. Criminologists say some people will grow out of crime; others won't. We have to find who are possibly going to be the biggest threat to society.'

Pugh admitted that the deeply controversial suggestion raised issues of parental consent, potential stigmatisation and the role of teachers in identifying future offenders, but said society needed an open, mature discussion on how best to tackle crime before it took place.

Listen. You assholes whip up a cure for Cancer, or figure out how to make my teevee stop buzzing every time my phone is about to ring...then we'll talk.

Until then, fuck off.

via Wired

Those Who Live In Glass Houses...

The bad news just keeps on a comin' for Sen. Thundercunt:

The recent coverage of Rev. Jeremiah Wright has often cast him as a marginal, almost fringe figure, but Trinity Church is a major Chicago institution, and Wright has long been a prominent pastor on the American scene.

And an anonymous blog set up to defend his church offers some compelling photographic evidence of this: A photograph of Wright and President Clinton, which it says was taken on Sept. 11, 1998 — the date of a White House gathering for religious leaders.

Hillary Clinton, according to her recently released schedule for the day, was present at the gathering. Al Gore also appears in the picture.

via Ben Smith

Don't Fuck With Drag Queens

Ever.

From Towleroad:

A bus passenger and a very young bigot learn the very important lesson that the last thing you want to do is mess with draq queens Mimi Plastique or Sharolaid.





via Towleroad

Carl Stanley McGee Free...To Blow More Kids

As reported last month, Carl Stanley McGee was accused of having sexy time with a 15yo boy at a Florida resort. Florida prosecutors have now dropped their case against him:

For months, officials considered filing charges against Charles Stanley McGee, assistant secretary for policy and planning in Massachusetts, but were unable to make a case.

"I do not believe that there is sufficient evidence to prove the case beyond a reasonable doubt," Assistant State Attorney Francine H. Donnorummo said in a statement yesterday. "Consistent with our legal and ethical considerations, I am therefore declining to file formal charges."

Investigators had no DNA evidence or witnesses corroborating the teenager's story, according to the statement, which outlined the problems in the case.

The 15-year-old, identified as Jonathan in the statement, said McGee, 38, performed sex acts on him in the steam room of the Gasparilla Inn & Club, a 95-year-old hotel and championship golf course in Boca Grande. Investigators were unable to locate the towels worn by either person so they could be inspected for forensic evidence linking either one to the scene. Investigators also did not gather any forensic evidence from the steam room, the report said.

That, and the fact that there were probably thousands of possible pieces of forensic evidence in a posh Florida steam room used by old creepy gay men.

McGee now wants to move on with his life:

McGee's lawyer, Charles W. Rankin, issued a two-sentence statement about the resolution of the case. "The state attorney in Lee County, Fla., after a thorough investigation, has decided that no charges should be brought against Stan McGee," it said. "Mr. McGee believes the decision by the Florida prosecutor not to pursue this case speaks for itself, and he looks forward to going on with his life."

...Mitchell Adams, a longtime friend and executive director of the Massachusetts Technology Collaborative, called the prosecutor's decision to drop the case "magnificent."

"This has been the most horrible situation without any basis in fact," he said.

Moral of the story: Look out for Tim Gunn look-alikes in Florida any steam rooms. In fact, don't go to any steam rooms unless you're old, ugly, fat, or just flat out want to get it on with desperate pervs.

Carry on.

via Boston Globe

Policetard

From Gawker:

Everyone's first reaction is that's awful, that's exploitative. To which Josh Perry, the star of the show and a young person with Down syndrome, says shove it, because he knows what he's doing when he plays the eponymous character in "The Retarded Policeman." While this web series largely rides on shocking humor, it mixes up the scandalizing themes (and avoids the scatalogical) enough to remain entertaining. Below, Perry hits on a dude's mom during a traffic stop.




via Gawker

How Did Craig Stevens' Audition Go?

You remember Craig, right?

He's the bright-eyed boy from Murfreesboro, Tennessee who moved to NY City with his beard girlfriend with big dreams of becoming a Broadway star.

He made it to his audition for The Lion King. But, it was rough :(

Poor guy was hoping to get cast for the role of regular Simba, but the line he was standing in was for young Simba. OH NOOOOOOOOS!!!

Not to worry. After the harrowing event, Craig did what any normal very very straight man would do.

Yup. Drowned his sorrows with blue margaritas from T.G.I Fridays with his.....ahhhhh, I can't say it...okay okay....GIRLFRIEND and some of her friends.

"It is now time for a new generation of leadership"

From HuffPo:

"There is no doubt in my mind that Barack Obama has the judgment and courage we need in a commander in chief when our nation's security is on the line," Richardson said. "He showed this judgment by opposing the Iraq war from the start, and he has shown it during this campaign by standing up for a new era in American leadership internationally."

Obama embraced the endorsement of an accomplished figure on the world stage who "understands the importance of restoring diplomacy as a central part of our national security strategy."

Both men have proposed negotiating with enemies as well as friends, while Clinton has emphasized the need to press for changes in repressive or hostile regimes before engaging with them at the presidential level.

But there were also personal aspects to Richardson's swing behind Obama. He noted that both are the sons of one foreign-born parent _ Obama's father was from Kenya, Richardson's mother was from Mexico.

And Richardson told of the time, during one of the many Democratic debates, when his attention wandered and he didn't hear the question that came at him. Obama, then his rival, bailed him out by whispering to him that it was about Hurricane Katrina.

"He could have thrown me under the bus," Richardson cracked, "but he stood behind me."






The predictable Clintonian response:

Former Democratic presidential candidate and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson finally made up his mind and endorsed Sen. Barack Obama today, but a senior advisor to Sen. Hillary Clinton's campaign--which likewise spent months courting the governor's nod--dismissed its significance.

"Look, I think that everyone has their endorsers," said senior Clinton strategist Mark Penn, adding-with a little huff-"I think New Mexico is a state that actually, we won."

"The time that he could have been effective has long since passed," he continued, "I don't think it is a significant endorsement in this environment."



via HuffPo

Mexico Bill To Endorse Obama

Even though Bill Richardson and Bill Clinton are Superbowl buddies, Mexico Bill will join his sweaty hand with Sen. Unicorn's in holy endorsement matrimony:

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, the nation's only Hispanic governor, is endorsing Sen. Barack Obama for president, calling him a "once-in-a-lifetime leader" who can unite the nation and restore America's international leadership.

..."I believe he is the kind of once-in-a-lifetime leader that can bring our nation together and restore America's moral leadership in the world," Richardson said in a statement obtained by the AP. "As a presidential candidate, I know full well Sen. Obama's unique moral ability to inspire the American people to confront our urgent challenges at home and abroad in a spirit of bipartisanship and reconciliation."

Richardson's endorsement also could help Obama pick up support among Hispanics, who are the nation's largest and fastest-growing minority.

No doubt Bill wants that veep slot, which is totally cool by me.

Imagine block parties/cookouts on the National Mall on Fridays followed by mariachi parties on the White House lawn on Sundays.

America is awsome.

via AP

What Happens If You Think They're Both Douchebags?

Osama bin Laden dropped his new single yesterday. I'll save you some time: "Death to America...blah blah blah...cartoons hurt my feelings....boohoo...Europe is sooooo on my shitlist."

The interesting part of the tape was when he calls out def-not-a-nazi-Pope:

Osama bin Laden accused Pope Benedict XVI of helping in a "new Crusade" against Islam and warned of a "severe" reaction to European publications of cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad that insulted many Muslims.Bin Laden's audiotape message Wednesday raised concerns al-Qaida was plotting new attacks in Europe.

...The Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi, said bin Laden's accusation that the pope has played a role in a worldwide campaign against Islam is "baseless." Lombardi said the pope has repeatedly criticized the cartoons, first published in some European newspapers in 2006 and republished by Danish papers in February.

...Benedict angered many in the Muslim world in 2006, when he cited a medieval text that characterized some of the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad as "evil and inhuman," particularly "his command to spread by the sword the faith."The pope later said he was "deeply sorry" and stressed the remarks did not reflect his own opinions. He has since led a public campaign for dialogue with Muslims.

Nazi Pope responded by calling OBL an unkempt slut and then returned to a long day's work of covering up for his kid-fucking friends.

via AP

Hillary Did Stuff.......Kinda

Thundercunt's schedule as First Lady has been released. Hooray!!!

Kinda.

I started reading it, but stopped when I realized it all read like this:

March 14, 1993: Lunch at [Readacted] with [Redacted} at [Redacted]

Seeings how Hillary wants to include her eight years as First Lady in her 35 years of experience, let's take a look at this "schedlue":

For instance, Clinton has said she helped negotiate the April 1998 Good Friday agreement between warring factions in Northern Ireland. But while Catholic and Protestant figures hashed out last-minute details of a power-sharing agreement in Belfast, Clinton was at the National Press Club in Washington at a party honouring Bella Abzug, a congresswoman from New York City who had died recently. While President Clinton phoned major participants in the peace talks, she met with Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel and joined a farewell party for Democratic operative Karen Finney. On the day the agreement was actually signed, she met with Philippine first lady Amelita Ramos.

When Nato launched air strikes against Serbia in an attempt to punish Yugoslav president Slobodan Milosevic for the country's onslaught against ethnic Albanian separatists in Kosovo, Clinton toured ancient Egyptian ruins, including King Tut's tomb and the temple of Hatshepsut. She dined at the Temple of Luxor, and stayed overnight at the Sofitel Winter Palace Hotel there.

On August 20, 1998, Bill Clinton ordered US missile strikes on suspected terrorist sites in Sudan and Afghanistan. The president and Hillary Clinton were on holiday on Martha's Vineyard, a posh island vacation spot off the coast of Massachusetts. After announcing the attack, Clinton cut short his break and returned to Washington to confer with his national security team; Hillary Clinton remained on the Vineyard until August 30, her records show.

There are other key foreign policy dates when the record is not so clear: on the day the presidents of three Balkan states signed a peace agreement in Dayton, Ohio, in November 1995, ending years of ethnic violence in the former Yugoslavia, Clinton's file lists no public schedule for that day, but indicates she was in Washington.

The one thing that I will sympathize with Cankles McGee is the media's sick fucking obsession with the whole "Bill fucked that fat girl, hahahahahahahaha" thing.

Let it go.

via William J. Clinton Library / The Guardian

Fucking Hippies

Yesterday, a bunch of stinky whiney hippies decided to protest the Iraq war. Wonkette was on the case:

Simple and subtle. Best of the day. Thank you for drawing this masterpiece of crayon for us, Senator David Vitter. We'll change your diaper shortly.

They also had great coverage of the D.C. clusterfuck here, here, and here.

via Wonkette

Interwebs Addiction

From Guardian:

Like other addicts, users experience cravings, urges, withdrawal and tolerance, requiring more and better equipment and software, or more and more hours online, according to D. Jerald Block, a psychiatrist at the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland. Dr Block says people can lose all track of time or neglect "basic drives," like eating or sleeping. Relapse rates are high, he writes, and some people may need psychoactive medications or hospitalization.

via Guardian

Happy Birthday Mr. Rogers

In honor of America's favorite pedophile neighbor, today is "Sweater Day."

In honor of what would have been Mister Rogers' 80th birthday on March 20, Mr. McFeely -- aka David Newell, the public relations director for Family Communications, Inc. (the nonprofit company founded in 1971 by Fred Rogers) -- has a special request.

"We're asking everyone (including members of the media) everywhere (from Pittsburgh to Paris) to wear their favorite sweater on that day," he asks. "It doesn't have to have a zipper down the front like the one Mister Rogers wore on the program, it just has to be special to you."




via FOX

5 Years

The cost?

At the outset of the Iraq war, the Bush administration predicted that it would cost $50 billion to $60 billion to oust Saddam Hussein, restore order and install a new government.

Five years in, the Pentagon tags the cost of the Iraq war at roughly $600 billion and counting. Joseph E. Stiglitz, a Nobel Prize-winning economist and critic of the war, pegs the long-term cost at more than $4 trillion. The Congressional Budget Office and other analysts say that $1 trillion to $2 trillion is more realistic, depending on troop levels and on how long the American occupation continues.

Not to mention:






via BraveNewFilms / NY Times

Today's Godtube Moment

Satan Bite The Dust

Is there nothing Carman can't do?

Subway Dude Is Back

Who better to ask questions concerning Jesusery than the King of Christian Iowa and West Viriginia, Mike Huckabee:

An assist from an unexpected quarter:
"[Y]ou can't hold the candidate responsible for everything that people around him may say or do," Huckabee says. "It's interesting to me that there are some people on the left who are having to be very uncomfortable with what ... Wright said, when they all were all over a Jerry Falwell, or anyone on the right who said things that they found very awkward and uncomfortable, years ago. Many times those were statements lifted out of the context of a larger sermon. Sermons, after all, are rarely written word for word by pastors like Rev. Wright, who are delivering them extemporaneously, and caught up in the emotion of the moment. There are things that sometimes get said, that if you put them on paper and looked at them in print, you'd say 'Well, I didn't mean to say it quite like that.'"

Later, he defended Wright's anger, too:

"As easy as it is for those of us who are white to look back and say 'That's a terrible statement!' ... I grew up in a very segregated South. And I think that you have to cut some slack -- and I'm gonna be probably the only conservative in America who's gonna say something like this, but I'm just tellin' you -- we've gotta cut some slack to people who grew up being called names..."


Here's the video:



via Ben Smith

Is Craig Stevens Real?

From Gawker:

Everyone, meet Craig Stevens. Craig is a recent college graduate from Murfreesboro, Tennessee who's just moved to New York City to pursue his dream of becoming an actor in Broadway musicals. He's brought along his girlfriend Janine. (But they're far away! He lives in "a part of Manhattan called Inwood" and she lives out near Coney Island.) In the four YouTube videos he's made so far, Craig seems like a nice boy , innocent and wide-eyed as he applies for jobs, goes on an audition, and navigates the bewildering wilds of, well, mostly just Times Square. He's charming in a rube-ish kind of way. Though, there are few details that are a little... suspicious.





Gold.

via Gawker

Chris Matthews Assaults Ellen

Did he just grope her?

Obama Is A MacDaddy

via Sully

Barack's Speech on Race

Dealing with Rev. Wright

Full speech to come.

Florida Senate Fights Back Against Dangerous Gangs Of Pants

Florida State Sen. Gary Siplin's dream has been actualized; the state senate has passed his bill:

The Florida Senate wants public school students to pull up their pants. Lawmakers passed a bill Thursday that could mean suspensions for students with droopy britches.

It won't become law unless the House of Representatives passes a companion measure.

Florida could join several southern U.S. towns and cities that have passed "saggy pants" laws aimed at outlawing what some teenagers consider a fashion statement -- wearing pants half way down their buttocks, exposing flesh or underwear.

It's about time. Something must be done about Florida's declining real estate market and the state budg.......what?

We're debating pants? Let's read further:

Despite being the butt of jokes, the bill's sponsor, Orlando Sen. Gary Siplin, a Democrat, has said the fashion statement has a back-story -- it was made popular by rap artists after first appearing among prison inmates as a signal they were looking for sex.

"All we're trying to do now is trying to inform folks that we have a fad now that does not have a very good origination," Siplin said. "We're trying to make an example in school," he added, saying it would help students get jobs and a degree.

Thank Baby Jeebus for Sen. Gary Siplin. If it weren't for his glorious bill, Florida's children would be striving to be sodomized in prison rather than getting an education.

But what do the children have to say?



So it's okay to bust a tiny sag with your plaid Abercrombie shorts, but def illegal if you can see Tweety Bird (which is code for black folk. Everyone knows black folk love Tweety Bird. It's like the law or something.)

I immediately call on the friends of that anonymous student in the green shirt to denounce his racist underwear comments. A speech would be a good start. They have some explaining to do.

via Reuters / NWF Daily News

Intertubes Just Got A Little Paultardier

Did you know there is a 3-D movie in the works about L. Ron Paultard called The High Tide? Neither did I.

It looks like a video game, which should make WoW addicted Paultards squeal with glee.

So, combine The Matrix, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, The Day After Tomorrow, and a bunch of crazy talk about gold standards and Liberty Dollars and you get this:



via Wonkette

McCain Defends Obama

Here's an exhange between WALNUTS! and Hannity on FOX last night:

HANNITY: Sen. Clinton claims that Barack Obama has not had the scrutiny that other candidates have had in this campaign.

There is a big emerging controversy about his pastor of 20 years, a man who went on a trip with Louis Farrakhan to Tripoli, a guy that has — his church has given a lifetime achievement award to Louis Farrakhan. We now have some of his sermons. He used "g-d America," "the U.S. of KKK of A." "The chickens have come home to roost," he said the Sunday after the attack on this country on 9/11.

He has called him — Barack has said of his pastor, his trusted adviser, he's proud of his pastor. He married him and his wife. He's baptized his kids.

Does that sound like a problem for you?

MCCAIN: I think that when people support you, it doesn't mean that you support everything they say. Obviously, those words and those statements are statements that none of us would associate ourselves with, and I don't believe that Sen. Obama would support any of those, as well.

HANNITY: He's been — but he's been going to the church for 20 years. His pastor — the church gave a lifetime achievement award to one of the biggest racists and anti-Semites in the country, Louis Farrakhan. Would you go to a church that — where your pastor supported Louis Farrakhan?

MCCAIN: Obviously, that would not be my choice. But I do know Sen. Obama. He does not share those views.

And we get sometimes — I don't — a lot of those statements I've just heard for the first time that you mentioned. But I know that, for example, I've had endorsements of some people that I didn't share their views...

HANNITY: Pastor Hagee recently, yes.

MCCAIN: ... but they endorsed mine. And so I think we've got to be very careful about that part.

Nice thing to see.

via Ben Smith

BREAKING NEWS: Obama Is Black

Sen. Unicorn is going to address race in a major speech that was supposed to start over 30 mins ago. It will be carried on all three major news networks, so take a listen if you can.

Here's an excerpt thanks to Drudge:

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America – to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we’ve never really worked through – a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

via Drudge

Puppy Found. Edwards Still Missing.

A puppy feared missing after the tornado ripped through the Fulton Cotton Mill lofts has been found:

P.J. Bullock barely survived Friday night's tornado. He feared his dog, Jackson, wasn't so lucky.

Sunday afternoon, he and a friend returned to the Cotton Mill Lofts in Cabbagetown to look one last time for his 3-month-old mixed breed German shepherd. He was able to persuade a firefighter to check the apartment where the puppy was last seen.

They found him underneath a couch," said Bullock, who was having dinner in a top-floor loft on the Boulevard side of Building E when the tornado struck

The dog apparently had scampered underneath the furniture just as one of the apartment's walls was collapsing. That's where he was discovered Sunday, safely ensconced amid the rubble.

"Jackson was OK ... completely healthy," said Bullock, who likewise escaped the storm "without a scratch."


No thanks to John Edwards.

Douchebag.

via ajc

No Mulligan For Florida

This has gotta piss Thundercunt off:

Facing strong opposition, Florida Democrats on Monday abandoned plans to hold a do-over presidential primary with a mail-in vote and threw the delegate dispute into the lap of the national party.

...Florida Democratic Party chairwoman Karen L. Thurman sent a letter announcing the decision.

"A party-run primary or caucus has been ruled out, and it's simply not possible for the state to hold another election, even if the party were to pay for it," Thurman said. "... This doesn't mean that Democrats are giving up on Florida voters. It means that a solution will have to come from the DNC Rules & Bylaws Committee, which is scheduled to meet again in April."

via AP

Kos to Hilltards: STFU

Hilltard bloggers at the Daily Kos (a site you will never find me reading) are going on a strike. They're claiming bias and abuse at the site just because of their support the evil Lesbot Thundercunt.

Kos fires back:


Meanwhile, Clinton and her shrinking band of paranoid holdouts wail and scream about all those evil people who have "turned" on Clinton and are no longer "honest power brokers" or "respectable voices" or whatnot, wearing blinders to reality, talking about silly little "strikes" when in reality, Clinton is planning a far more drastic, destructive and dehabilitating civil war.

People like me have two choices -- look the other way while Clinton attempts to ignite her civil war, or fight back now, before we cross that dangerous line. Honestly, it wasn't a difficult choice. And it's clear, looking at where the super delegates, most bloggers, and people like Olbermann are lining up, that the mainstream of the progressive movement is making the same choice.

And the more super delegates see what is happening, and what Clinton has in store, the more imperative it is that they line up behind Obama and put an end to it before it's too late.

via Daily Kos

Happy St. Patrick's Day

From 2006:

Planned Parenthood Satanists Encourage Spring Break Immorality

This is the time of year when nice young ladies and gentlemen flock to Panama Shitty to help feed the homeless and hold beachside bible studies. The fine Christian tradition known Spring Break is now under assault by the baby-eating pagans at Planned Parenthood:

College-age members of Planned Parenthood were not shy last week as they handed out free condoms and showed spring breakers how to use them.

The students combed beaches, worked clubs and bars encouraging their counterparts to practice safe sex. On a recent outing, as earsplitting music played in the background, Natalie Muniz, the education director of Planned Parenthood of North Central Florida, demonstrated the correct way to open a condom package — look for the air bubble and don’t use your teeth — and what condom users should immediately look for, the expiration date.

...The brand of condom Muniz and her University of Florida students were offering is called “Proper Attire.” The new brand is designed to appeal to women as a fashion accessory, Muniz said. The brand uses the tag line “Required for entry.”

“We don’t think guys should have all the fun,” said Becca Guerra, a student and a member of Planned Parenthood. “We should be in charge of our own sexual health.”

Jesus. Couldn't they have atleast handed out brand name condoms? The last thing I want between me and a host of STD's is Uncle Roscoe's Discount Dickbags™.

Here, let that kid from Malcolm in the Middle explain:



via Panama Shitty News Herald

T.G.I Friday's Three-For-All

The Friday Night Special saga continues.

Dina denies it via email to ABC:

"Theodore Pedersen's claims, as reported in the Newark Star Ledger on March 16, are completely false and were prompted by Jim McGreevey. This all has to do with the publicity I have received since Governor Spitzer resigned. Jim has enlisted one of his cronies in trying to distinguish that situation from his own, and to discredit me in the media. He cannot stand it when I am receiving attention in the media rather than him."

Jim confirms it via email to the AP:

In an e-mail to The Associated Press, the nation's first openly gay governor said published reports by former campaign aide Teddy Pedersen were true.

..."This happened, this happened in the past, and now we need to move on with our lives," McGreevey, 50, said without being specific.

See? Shitty appetizers leading to three-ways which lead to messy gay scandals are way better than whore diamonds.

I will never look at that restaurant the same again.

Also, next time you go to Friday's and they're on a wait, use the name McGreevey. Especially if it's a table for three.

via ABC / CBS

"Black Is The New President, Bitch"

Tracy Morgan responds to this.

Stop The Discrimination

If guys wanna wear next to nothing and do really gay shit, then by God let them:

Even scarier is the situation in San Jose, California, where 18 year-old Kenyon Smith is reportedly one of the best synchronized swimmers in the country [WSJ], despite having testicles!

"Comics think synchro is great material, and when the joke is on a person of the nonfemale sex, it's a sure winner. So let's all laugh at Kenyon Smith, the male synchronized swimmer."

If the article stopped there, we would not be aroused from the warm embrace of our daily status quo. But it goes on to expose Kenyon's tragedy, which is that he cannot win a college scholarship or go to the Olympics, because he practices what is assumed to be a female sport.

His predicament touched our heart! Is it possible that there may be other acceptable venues for male physical movement outside of baseball (the American pastime), football (the more violent American pastime), basketball (the urban American pastime), and heterosexual sexual relations (the acceptable political American pastime)? We must admit that the possibility exists. Although its implications for the Knicks still tear our heart in two. Below, video of Kenyon Smith at work [pic and video via WSJ].



via Gawker

Oldie But Goodie Sex Scandal

Spitzer jokes? That was sooooooo last week.

New Jersey is getting jealous of all the attention given to New York and their whoremongering former governor. They want to remind us that not only was their disgraced former governor gay, but his wife (who cliamed feigned shock of the gayness) was actually a participant in several three-ways with Jim McGreevey and one of his gay homosexual aides:

A former aide to James E. McGreevey said today that he had three-way sexual trysts with the former governor and his wife before he took office, challenging Dina Matos McGreevey's assertion that she was naive about her husband's sexual exploits.

The aide, Theodore Pedersen, said he and the couple even had a nickname for the weekly romps, from 1999 to 2001, that typically began with dinner at T.G.I. Friday's and ended with a threesome at McGreevey's condo in Woodbridge.

They called them "Friday Night Specials," according to Pedersen.

..."I wanted to get this out now because it was so offensive to me that she goes on television playing the victim," Pedersen said. "She's trying to make this a payday for herself. She should have told the truth about the three of us."

So, take THAT New York.

Teddy gets 10 whore diamonds.












via The Star-Ledger