This Kid Is Just A Giant Douche

OMG.

It's just been a matter of time.

The above video comes from a twinkbot waste of oxygen named Connor Jon, girlfriend of known Paultard and famed lesbian, Gay God....also known as Matthew Lush. The two place have a live-stream web show thingy where they cut out paper hearts, talk live to lonely fat girls, and post pointless videos such as this:



While Lush is an internet hemorrhoid unto himself, it's Connor that we would really like to see waterboarded.

Just because a bunch of bored, obese cutters tune in to your show or watch your Youtube vidjas, an internet star you are not.

Everytime you watch a Connor Jon or Gay God upload, a MrChiCity3, or Sara, or Jon Roberts gets an internet virus.

Stop watching this shit. Foreals.

The only thing ConnorJon is good for was this video:



Other than that, eat a bag of dicks.


via the Youtubes

Whoa, There. You're Still Around?

Jesus, is it 9/11 already? Usually it's that certain date in the Fall when 9udy 11uliani pokes his head out of a bunker, forcasting whether we will have 6 more weeks of terror for the year.

The failed GOP presedential candidate appeared on Morning Joe to scare the shit out of anyone listening about President Unicorn's Ecard sent to Iran.

From HuffPo:

Rudy Giuliani charged on Wednesday that Barack Obama's recent outreach to Iran -- specifically, the videotape message he offered to the Iranian people several weeks ago -- was actually abetting terrorism in that region.

"Sending a videotape message into Iran and the language and tone of that message, in my view, is the kind of thing terrorists look at and say 'we can take advantage, we can push,'" said the former New York City mayor.

..."He didn't talk about any of the things we need from them," Guiliani went on. "He is talking to a dictatorship. He is not talking to a liberal democracy. If you listen to that, you would think he was talking to a liberal democracy."

...Nevertheless, Giuliani said on Wednesday, "I think it was a mistake. [Not a] complete misstep, I think it was a mistake. it needed balancing language about his recognition of the complete lack of freedom within Iran and even a strong message to the Iranian people... You have one chance to talk to the people of Iran. They are watching. You want to create a reformist element in Iran and you don't speak to that? ... This is why terrorist will say, we can take advantage of the guy.'"


We're really starting to regret not throwing a shoe at this twat when we had the chance.

Wow We Just Watched This

Rick Warren took a few mintues out of his busy schedule (which is filled with eating Zingers and baptizing people at his mega-waterpark for Jesus) to sit down with known Jewish sperm bank, Larry King.

Let the fun begin!!!

via CNN

President Obama To Teabag Queen Elizabeth In April

Oh good Lord Xenu fuck. The British are so testy these days.

The Telegraph's Iain Martin has his bloomers in a knot over President Unicorn giving UK PM Gordon Brown DVDs as a gift, when Brown gave Obama a stupid pen and some dusty old books in return.

BREAKING NEWS, IAIN: Black people are horrible tippers. It should come as no surprise that they are horrible gift givers as well.

Martin latches on to this crime to humanity by scoffing at the notion that the DVD's will even play in British players:

This is quite a serious question. I have a vision of the Browns, Gordon and Sarah, settling down at the PM's country retreat (Chequers) this weekend. The children have been put to bed and Mr Brown heads in the direction of the DVD player:

GB: "The Obamas bought us some films on DVD. That was very thoughtful."

SB: "Not that thoughtful..."

GB: "What shall we watch? ET? Star Wars? Psycho, Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia?

SB: sighs... "Seen them all."

GB: "I'll try The Wizard of Oz, it's the version in which all the colours have been restored to the original quality. We can stop and try something else if you don't like it. Where's the remote control?" (GB fiddles with the DVD player for several minutes) "Right, I think it's going to start." (Nothing happens, machine displays a notice saying 'disc loading error').

SB: (examining DVD cover) "They're Region 1, they won't play in the UK."

The Browns sit in complete silence for several more minutes reflecting on what this means.

Let's hope that somebody in the White House was aware of the difference between the formats and acted accordingly when ordering the DVDs. I have asked Number 10 to clarify and will post an update when they respond.


Earlier, Martin pondered on whether Barack was worthy of an invite The Queen sent his way for a spot of tea:

President Obama has been rudeness personified towards Britain this week. His handling of the visit of the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, to Washington was appalling. First Brown wasn't granted a press conference with flags, then one was hastily arranged in the Oval office after the Brits had to beg. Obama looked like he would rather have been anywhere else than welcoming the British leader to his office and topped it all with his choice of present (*) for the PM. A box of 25 DVDS including ET, the Wizard of Oz and Star Wars? Oh, give me strength. We do have television and DVD stores on this side of the Atlantic. Even Gordon Brown will have seen those films too often already.

This was coupled with Michelle Obama's casual choice of gifts for the Brown sons - matching models of the helicopter which ferry her husband around. While Sarah Brown had spent time choosing gifts for the Obama girls, Michelle had clearly sent an aide to the White House gift shop at the last moment.

All in all, he doesn't think much of us, as I explained in my post here earlier this week.

But what's this? Something, suddenly, seems to have made the Obama White House perk up and start to take an interest in the Brits. The Queen has invited the President to tea when he's here for the G20 in April. And he's in through the front door of Buckingham Palace faster than a Harley Davidson roaring along Route 66.

Note how the coolness of Team Obama disappears when a bit of regal glamour is introduced into the equation. He might not like the Brits, but he can recognise a global superstar when he encounters one. He wants to be associated with her. He's shameless.


Fellow Telegraph douchebag James Delingpole blames this all on the First Lady and her Princeton Koran hate thesis:

Iain Martin is quite right here: no matter how utterly rubbish we have become as a nation in the Blair/Brown years, Britain's friendship is something Obama will come to regret having dispensed with so lightly. This was not the act of a global statesman, but of a hormonal teenager dismissing her bestest of best BFs for no other reason than that she felt like it and she can, so there.

What was the guy thinking? In researching my new book Welcome to Obamaland, I discovered that Obama's judgment is pretty dreadful - but this? My favourite theory so far - suggested by presenter Greg Garrison - was that it was a move calculated to please his Lady Macbeth. At the moment in Britain, we're still in the "Doesn't she look fabulous in a designer frock" stage of understanding of Michelle Obama. Gradually, though, we'll begin to realise that she is every bit the terrifying executive's wife that Hillary Clinton was. Or, shudder, Cherie Blair.

We may just LURVE Michelle's fashion sense. But Michelle doesn't reciprocate our affection, one bit. Her broad-brush view of history associates Brits with the wicked white global hegemony responsible for the slave trade. Never mind that a white, Tory Englishman - William Wilberforce - brought the slave trade to an end. Judging by her record, Michelle does not make room for such subtle nuance.

Consider her notorious statement that: "For the first time in my adult life I am really proud of my country." Consider her (till-recently suppressed) Princeton thesis, "Princeton Educated Blacks And The Black Community."

In it she writes: "I have found that at Princeton, no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my white professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don't belong. Regardless of the circumstances underwhich I interact with whites at Princeton, it often seems as if, to them, I will always be black first and a student second."

..."As I enter my final year at Princeton," she writes. "I find myself striving for many of the same goals as my White classmates - acceptance to a prestigious graduate or professional school or a high paying position in a successful corporation. Thus, my goals at Princeton are not as clear as before."

"Yes, exactly, you silly girl" you want to shriek at young Michelle as you give her a good shake. "It's called 'opening your mind', 'broadening your experience', 'allowing youthful dogma to be shaped by reality.' It's why people go to university, don't you know?"


In summary...suck it, England.

Merry Preznutz Day, Muslin America!!!

Today is the day to celebrate FREEDOM™ and a bunch of dead old white guys. How on Earth could this Americana Carnival be marred? Ask Red State:

So why do most calendars and so many people refer to this day as “Presidents Day“?

"In 1968, Congress passed the Monday Holidays Act, which moved the official observance of Washington’s birthday from Feb. 22 to the third Monday in February. Some reformers had wanted to change the name of the holiday as well, to Presidents’ Day, in honor of both Lincoln and Washington, but that proposal was rejected by Congress, and the holiday remained officially Washington’s Birthday.

Nevertheless, there was a popular misconception that the day had been officially renamed…While the name change has never been authorized by Congress, it has gained a strong hold on the public consciousness, and is generally used on calendars, in advertising, and even by many government agencies. There have been attempts to introduce legislation requiring federal agencies to call the day Washington’s Birthday, but these have never gotten very far. No matter what’s in the law books, the popular usage is now well established…"

Reformers? Code word for the liberals that have been trashing American history as a tragedy and the Founding Fathers as mere slave owners for the past 40 years.

Their propaganda in academia and media is the reason for the so-called “strong hold” of the false name of the holiday on the public consciousness. The liberal that wrote the above let’s her guard down when she mentions her dismissal of the law. Their contempt for the real America and the Founders extends to the framers of the highest law that is the U.S. Constitution, so why would they have any respect for a “mere” statute? The only “law” they respect are those made up by activist judges that violate their Oath to uphold the Constitution.

...General George Washington watched thousands fall on the battlefield so that we could ordain and establish self government based on the rule of law as opposed to the tyrannies of the rule of men, whether they be Kings, Despots or Judicial Oligarchs. He nearly lost his life many times leading Revolutionary War battles. As our first President he astounded the world by peacefully giving up power to his successor.

Yet, all the “reformers” care to recall is that he was a slaveowner. Yes, he was a slaveowner, but he fathered a nation that put slavery on the path to destruction and which has freed more of humanity from tyranny than in all of human history. Ironically, many of the so-called reformers that would have us celebrate James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson and Richard Nixon, also conveniently looked the other way when evaluating the greatest enslavers and murderers of humanity in the Soviet Union and Red China.

The true reformer was the man whose birth we celebrate today. The man who admitted chopping down a cherry tree and went on to chop down the barriers to Liberty so that men could be truly free.

Happy Birthday President Washington!


Indeed:

Morning (News) Dump

Known homosexual governor Charlie Crist is ready to get behind Obama and support his stimulus package.

The world almost ended September 18.

We have a president who can string together intelligible sounds.

The douchebaggery continues.

Obama wants to get Sean Hannity drunk, who will be vigorously date raped by the President's enormous stimulus package.

Black folk would now like to rule the world.

A couple of months from now, only 7 people in the country will have a job. See you at the unemployment office, hobos!

For No Reason

Move over Cashfan.

via videogum

Prop 8: NEVER FORGET

The backdraft continues...as it should:

Utah's growing tourism industry and the star-studded Sundance Film Festival are being targeted for a boycott by bloggers, gay rights activists and others seeking to punish the Mormon church for its aggressive promotion of California's ban on gay marriage.

It could be a heavy price to pay. Tourism brings in $6 billion a year to Utah, with world-class skiing, a spectacular red rock country and the film festival founded by Robert Redford, among other popular tourist draws.

..."At a fundamental level, the Utah Mormons crossed the line on this one," said gay rights activist John Aravosis, an influential blogger in Washington, D.C.

"They just took marriage away from 20,000 couples and made their children bastards," he said. "You don't do that and get away with it."

John McCain Is Really Turning Into A Cunt

via TPM

The World Is A Sad Dark Place

Glitter Graphics




The Rockey Mountain News hit a new media low. One of their asshat reporters live-blogged a 3yo's funeral, who was killed at an ice cream store:

rabbi calls end to ceremony 10:28 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi chanting final prayer in hebrew 10:27 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

earth being placed on coffin. 10:22 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi recites the main hebrew prayer of death 10:20 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi zucker praying 10:18 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

coffin lowered into ground 10:18 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

people gathering at graveside 10:14 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

procession begins 10:01 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

cars queueing up to follow hearse 09:59 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

pallbearers carry out coffin followed by mourners. 09:48 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

people again are sobbing. rabbi again asks god to give marten everlasting life. 09:46 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

video shows marten blowing out candles on birthday cake, marten with dog. last images are of headlines. 09:44 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

video of marten is projected on screen. 09:32 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi says marten is close to god now. 09:31 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi says marten loved to be tickled. calls the death a nightmare. no words can sooth us, he says. 09:28 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

family member says marten is with grandmother who died last year. ' marten we loved you,' he says. People sobbing. 09:22 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

family member remembers marten. 09:20 AM September 10, 2008 from txt
rabbi says we will always remember marten and he will live in our memory. 09:18 AM

September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi recites 23rd psalm. 09:16 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

Oh yeh, forgot to tell you that he did it on Twitter.

Douche.

Huffington Post Needs A Blogenema

Out of all the internets, HuffPo has really outdone themselves on Millbabypalooza. Take this for example, entitled The Anatomy Of The Edwards Affair:

...By then, the peculiarities of his relationship with Hunter had been much discussed. While mainstream press attention was scant, the National Enquirer and a select number of online sites - most prominently Mickey Kaus at Slate - had been poring over the issue for months.

The Huffington Post had too. Back in September 2007, we reported that the videos, which Hunter had been paid to produce for Edwards' One America Committee, had gone mysteriously missing.

...In a follow up story, the Huffington Post unearthed Hunter's website - erased from the web shortly after Edwards launched his presidential campaign - in which it was revealed that she had never made films before.

See? The big bad MSM was ignoring the affair while shining beacons of journalism like HuffPo and the National Inquirer were all over it.

Now that everyone knows about the millbaby, it's time to place blame. And who has been the frequent target over at HuffPo? Elizabeth Edwards. The lady with tata cancers who was cheated on by her lying homosexual husband.

Let's explore HP's douchiest blogs about the Mrs. Edwards.

From Lee Stranahan:

"You do it yourself, that's what really hurts..." - Radiohead, Just

As I write this, we're just a couple of hours into the official mainstream media phase of the John Edwards scandal and I'm already surprised. Something has happened that I didn't anticipate.

I've lost respect for Elizabeth Edwards.

As I've said previously, I admired both of the Edwards prior to this. Like most people I especially liked and admired Elizabeth Edwards. Even when I believed that Edwards was hiding something, I assumed Elizabeth was a victim. Now, that's changed.

...I am fully convinced that if there was just a short affair with Rielle Hunter in 2006, John Edwards could have run for President eventually. Just not in 2008. Elizabeth Edwards shouldn't have supported his bid for the White House and she especially shouldn't have helped him promote the story about what a great husband he was.

Very edgy, Lee, using Radiohead lyrics and all.

Here's another one from Bonnie Fuller:

The bigger question is "why did Elizabeth Edwards drink her husband's Kool-Aid? How could she have possibly believed that her husbands affair would remain a private matter when he was running for President of the United States? Hello, the National Enquirer had already broken the story last fall. Why in fact, did she knowingly encourage her spouse to even enter the campaign when she had been fully informed about the affair for over a year? And she helped support and propagate John Edwards' image as a devoted husband and family man.

...No, Elizabeth Edwards had to be in some extraordinary form of denial and that's why she became her husband's "ambition enabler", when she supported his recent run for the presidency. My belief is that after almost thirty years of marriage she too had become so invested in his political ambitions, his cause, that she couldn't give up either, even after he cheated and she knew there was a chance his affair could be reported in the mainstream press.

Now, here's what Elizabeth herself has to say:

Our family has been through a lot. Some caused by nature, some caused by human weakness, and some – most recently – caused by the desire for sensationalism and profit without any regard for the human consequences. None of these has been easy. But we have stood with one another through them all. Although John believes he should stand alone and take the consequences of his action now, when the door closes behind him, he has his family waiting for him.

...John has spoken in a long on-camera interview I hope you watch. Admitting one’s mistakes is a hard thing for anyone to do, and I am proud of the courage John showed by his honesty in the face of shame. The toll on our family of news helicopters over our house and reporters in our driveway is yet unknown. But now the truth is out, and the repair work that began in 2006 will continue. I ask that the public, who expressed concern about the harm John’s conduct has done to us, think also about the real harm that the present voyeurism does and give me and my family the privacy we need at this time.

In summary, Lee Stranahan, Bonnie Fuller, and alot of eds over at HuffPo are giant stinking douchebags and let's try to concentrate on the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars.....plus the looming WW3 against Russia, led by the newly elected Generalissimo el Presidente John McCunt.

Hardy Har Har

Redstate has a new t-shirt to sell.

From Sully:

Ross thinks it's "(ahem) a joke," which it is. A harmless joke, given the legions of evangelical Christians waiting for the Rapture and convinced that only the Republican party represents the will of God? I guess it's just as well that Ross thinks the religious right is entirely a function of the liberal media's imagination. Just as David Brooks once did. After he strikingly didn't.

Good God

Some crazy insisted that Barack say the pledge DURING a speech on energy:

After freelance photographer John Quinn insisted on saying the Pledge of Allegiance at the start of an Obama rally at Baldwin-Wallace College, Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama led the gathering in saying the pledge.

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama came to Baldwin-Wallace College in Berea Tuesday afternoon to talk about his energy policies, as he had earlier in the day in Youngstown.

But before he could delve into the topic, a man in the press photo gallery interrupted him, shouting complaints that the Illinois senator had not started the program with the Pledge of Allegiance. Many in the packed gymnasium murmured and some booed the disruption, but Obama took the heckler in stride and asked him to lead the pledge.


UPDATE:

Brilliant at Breakfast has further video.

Westboro Flamer Update

Ohhhhh yes. Whomever started this little garage fire thing will now feel the wrath of Fred Phelps and his army of homosexual homophobes.




Let's check out their blog:

DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE FIRE
AT WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH
THE FIRE YOU NEED TO BE WORRIED ABOUT IS THE ONE COMING OUT OF GOD’S NOSTRILS –
THAT STREAM HAS A BEAD ON DOOMED AMERICA
AND THE FIRE YOU NEED TO BE WORRIED ABOUT IS THE ONE THAT IS KINDLED BY GOD’S BREATH FOR ETERNITY – THAT STREAM HAS A BEAD ON YOU!

THANK GOD FOR THE CRIMINAL ARSONIST!
OUR WORDS COME AT YOU LIKE A SWORD ON FIRE!
YOU CAN NOT BREAK OFF THESE BONDS!
CHECK IT OUT NOW DOPEY DOOMED AMERICA:
YOU ALSO CAN NOT BURN OFF THESE BONDS!

YOU’RE PLAYING WITH FIRE – AND IT’S A FIRE YOUR FIREFIGHTERS CAN NOT PUT OUT!

THIS MAKES US SO HAPPY!

...You foolish rebels. When will you learn?

Speaking of learning, you learned that stupidity from Baltimore.

The Baltimore case inspired criminal arsonists. Ironically the arsonist tried to burn the very property those Baltimore haters want to try to take.

Speaking of learning, when will you get this through your thick disobedient heads: What you try to do to the people of God and his church, God will do to you. Now you can expect God to send fire from heaven and burn your “churches” (whore houses and dog kennels).

Apparently you are slow learners. Over six thousands lightening strikes – THAT’S FIRE DUMMIES – from God’s hand in California. You’re still playing with fire!

(Today a team of faithful watchers are on the ground in California, picketing the funeral of the dead fag in Sanoma County who was the first to get "married" in that county. Now the butt buddy is dead – at age 37, 37 days after the fag marriage license went forth. Some media mutt said his death was “shocking.” Are you kidding me? That was so predictable it’s painful! You’re playing with fire you arrogant asses! Our God doeth all things well. Besides which, he also has quite a sense of humor and irony. )

Psst! God still hates fags. America is still doomed. God still hates the world. Your acts of arson have changed exactly nothing.

In summary, Baby Jesus hates fags blah blah blah and Fred Phelps will live for 1000 years the end.

First Shot Fired In The Great Douchebag War Of 2008

Justin Timberlake complained about Ashton Kutcher's claim of starting the trucker hat trend:

“It’s funny,” Timberlake says in the new issue of Fashion Rocks magazine. “I keep hearing Ashton Kutcher say how he was responsible for trucker caps. I’ve heard him make that statement before.”

But Timberlake insists he and his William Rast fashion line partner and childhood friend Trace Ayala are the real trendsetters. “Trace and I were wearing them when we were seventeen,” Mr. SexyBack says.

Meanwhile, noone cares and the two continue to meet twice a week at the Viceroy under fictitious names to piss on each other while listening to Seal.

Jesus Has Conflicting Feelings For The Guy That Stole His Job

Yesterday, we posted a story about Barack Obama being defended by CBN and an org called Matthew25.

Above is a video response to Matthew25's ad by an org called Discover Obama, which is upset with Sen. Unicorn for sacrificing Christian babies to his pagan Mooslim gods and allowing sodomists to live together in a government sanctioned union live.

Basically, Discover Obama is just a group of assholes who have nothing better to do than to try out Apple's Final Cut Studio 2.

NObamatard Makes Hilarious Observation Youtubevideothingy

St. Barack got a cool new jetplane to help further spread his message of black terror across the universe. One thing is missing though: an American flag.

This obviously means that Barack Obama hates America, all Amercians, and most of all flags.

Checking In With Our Friend Pat

Another Installment Of Snake Handler Theatre

Some mouth-breathing fundie piece of shit man of Gawd in Andersoun County, SC decided it was a good idea to beat his son with a baseball bat after the kid came home from a pride parade:

Violence broke out Sunday in Anderson when an 18-year-old man returned home from a gay pride parade and was assaulted by his father.

According to the Anderson County Sheriff's Office, the battering took place about 1 p.m. Sunday on P Street.

During the assault, the teen's 49-year-old father yelled, cursed, swung a baseball bat, prayed and tried to “cast the demon of homosexuality out of him,” according to the teen's version of events to Deputy S.C. Weymouth, the incident report states.

About 2 p.m. Wednesday, the teen said his father punched him when he returned to the house for clothes that he left on Sunday, the report states.

The teen told deputies that his father “has a problem with him being gay and that is why he hit him with the baseball bat Sunday,” Weymouth said in his report.


Praise the Lord.

Today's Hilltard Video

This one pretty much takes the cake. The triumvirate of redneck, racism, and a webcam makes this retardery one of the greatest Hilltard videos of our time.

via some cousin-fucker's meth lab


UPDATE: Bonus video fun here.