Hilarious Yet Gross Pregnancy Ad Needs More Alan Keyes

From The Sun:

Leicester NHS Trust placed the graphic video, which used actors, online in a bid to shock youngsters and raise awareness of teen pregnancies.

But the footage was initially too much for YouTube censors who took it down after less than 24 hours.

After protests that it was an educational video, it was put back online.

The film appears to have been shot using a mobile phone camera to give an air of authenticity.

Trigg, Tripp. They're Both Retarded Stupid Names

Who cares if it's true. This has the smell of Paultard paranoia all over it:

This is NOT a photo of Levi with Tripp Johnston, allegedly born December 27, 2008.

This is a photo of Levi Johnston cradling tenderly Trig Palin, allegedly born April 18, 2008. It was taken the same day as the photos that Mercede put up on her MySpace page, some time before May 5th 2008.

Why in the world would this photo be selected for release on the Tyra Banks show unless Mercede is trying to send us a message, loud and clear? Surely, if Tripp IS Levi's child (and Trig is the son of his ex future mother-in-law) there would be no earthly reason to release photos of Trig with Levi on a show that was supposed to be about current events, i.e., Tripp's birth and the current relationship with Tripp's mother. But.. someone in the Johnston clan selected this photo. Of Levi cuddling Trig. Now almost a year ago. Intentionally. So I... and other "anonymous bloggers..." would see it. And we have.

Mercede, message received. Thank you.


This one is worth a whirl, too.

Just Go On Fucking Springer Already

Hunky snowbilly Levi Johnston appeared on the Tyra Banks Show to talk about the worst mistake in his life knocking up Bristol Palin. Levi, dressed as a Walmart greeter, claimed Bible Spice knew he was boning her daughter and swore he was using protection when he stuck his hose in her somewhat famous septic tank.

For your sake, Levi, we hope you did.

As expected, the Alaskan Snowcunt was enraged and fired off an angry statement from the Governors' mansion, which is a collection of interconnected trailers with a couple of igloos for turrets:

After taking about sex on The Tyra Banks Show, Johnston – the 18-year-old father of Bristol Palin's baby – was hit with a blistering response from Bristol's mother, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

"Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," says the statement from the Palin family rep.

"Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence," the statement continues. "It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child."

The statement ends, saying, "Bristol realizes now that she made a mistake in her relationship and is the one taking responsibility for their actions."



Whatever, skank.

Anywho...about the same time Bible Spice is being all judgemental and shit, her sister-in-law, Diana Palin, was arrested for robbing some guy's house multiple times WHILE BRINGING HER 4YO DAUGHTER ALONG FOR THE FUNNERY.

Kids, these are the dangers of living in Alaska.....and meth.

From NYDN:

Citing an affidavit filed Friday, the Alaskan newspaper reported that Diana Palin (half sister to Sarah Palin's husband, Todd) was caught by the homeowner, Theodore Turcott, who was hiding in his bathroom with a gun. He found Palin going straight to a bedroom cabinet where he had kept his cash in the past.

Turcott has been robbed several times in the last few weeks. He lost $2,200 in a robbery on March 26, and nearly $400 on March 31.

Palin's four-year-old daughter, who had been waiting in a 1993 Toyota Camery during the Thursday incident, entered the house shortly before police arrived as the scene, the prosecutor stated during a hearing on Friday. The affidavit read that the girl told police she had been to the house days before with her mother. Diana Palin denied this, the Daily News said, and claimed she mistook the house for a friend's place.

According to the Daily News, Diana Palin was hit with felony burglary charges, along with misdemeanor theft and criminal trespass, regarding the March 31 and April 2 incidents.

Governor Palin and her family have declined to comment on the matter.


Further info here.

Levi Johnston Is One Hot Cracker

Sorry, just is.

From GMA:

Levi Johnston, the former fiance of Bristol Palin, says the couple broke up "a week, two weeks" ago but leaves open the possibility that they could reunite.

"We'll see, we'll see how it is," Johnston, 19, said March 13 in an exclusive interview at his Alaska home with Neal Karlinsky of "Good Morning America." "We'll just remain friends for now. We're both cool with that decision, and we'll see."

For the first time, Johnston described the circumstances of his split with Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's eldest daughter, and talked about becoming a father.

"We were just, we were in a fight," the teen said. "And trying to see if we can make things work. But this is what it kind of ended up turning into. But we'll see what happens."

Hand Your Babies Over, Please. President Obama Is Hungry

That didn't take long at all. Barack the baby eater reversed Bush era bans on stem cell research.

Who can blame him? Infants are considered a fine delicacy in some cultures:

President Barack Obama Monday rescinded the Bush administration’s limits on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research and chided his predecessor for putting politics ahead of science.

Obama also signed an order meant to put scientific research back in the forefront in government decision-making.

“It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda — and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology,” Obama said.


Another bright side? Ingredients for embryonic egg sardou will be dirt cheap.

Bible Spice's Thoughts On Motherdom

Since we spent most of the holidays in a drunken stupor, plenty of good stories were missed.

The big news (besides Israel being a real grumpypants) is that there's a new addition to the Palin litter. Sarah Palin got her second FIRST grandchild from Levi and Bristol.

What does the failed flautist/VP have to say?

"We are over the moon with the arrival of this healthy, beautiful baby," Governor Palin said. "The road ahead for this young couple will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Bristol and Levi are committed to accomplish what millions of other young parents have accomplished, to provide a loving and secure environment for their child. They are both hard workers, they're very strong, and have faith they've made the right decision in setting aside their own interests to make this child their highest priority."

Palin added, "When Bristol and Levi first told us the shocking news that she was pregnant, to be honest, we all at first looked at the situation with some fear and a bit of despair. Isn't it just like God to turn those circumstances into such an amazing, joyful blessing when you ask Him to help you through?"

Bristol Palin said she "obviously discourages" teen pregnancy and knows that plans she previously made for herself will now forever be changed. "Teenagers need to prevent pregnancy to begin with - this isn't ideal. But I'm fortunate to have a supportive family which is dealing with this together. Tripp is so perfectly precious; we love him with all our hearts. I can't imagine life without him now."

via HuffBlow

Gay Penguins Wrecking Families At Chinese Zoo

It seems that a couple of sodomist Spheniscidae are stealing babies from their hetero ilk, replacing the eggs with stones...proving straight animals, no matter what their species, are that stupid:

The two penguins have started placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs, in a bid to hide their theft.

But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracised the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.

A keeper at Polar Land in Harbin, north east China explained that the gay couple had the natural urge to become fathers, despite their sexuality.

OMGEEZITZCLAYAIKENSINGINGTOHISBUTTBABYLOLZ!!!!!!!!

VGL Boys On Clay Aiken

Andrew Sullivan's "Dear WALNUTS!" Letter

Sully wrote John McCain's campaign an email asking them to admit that Sarah Palin is a big liar and that little slow baby of "hers" is actually her daughter's:

Blogger Andrew Sullivan has been drawing flak in the online world for expressing skepticism about the circumstances surrounding the governor's pregnancy. He first weighed in on the question back on Aug. 31, when Internet rumors were swirling that 4-month-old Trig Palin may have been born not to the veep nominee, but to her 17-year-old daughter Bristol. A day later, the McCain campaign announced that Bristol Palin was five months pregnant, seemingly diffusing any controversy about Trig's birth.

Here's part of Sullivan's original Atlantic post on the topic: "The circumstantial evidence for weirdness around this pregnancy is so great that legitimate questions arise -- questions anyone with common sense would ask. The answers to those questions can easily be provided. . .

"Why would a 43-year-old woman, on her fifth pregnancy, with a Down Syndrome child, after her amniotic fluid has started to leak, not go to the nearest hospital immediately, even if she was in Texas for a speech? . . . Why did the flight attendants on the trip home say she bore no signs of being pregnant?"

Last week, Sullivan, a British conservative who became disgusted with the Bush administration and is a passionate advocate for Barack Obama, sent an e-mail query to the McCain campaign:

"I'm very sorry to say, it's come to this: can you confirm on the record that Trig Palin is Sarah Palin's biological son? . . . Since this is a crazy idea, it should be easy for you or someone to let me know, the most popular one-man political blog site in the world, what the truth is."

A day later, he followed up with a second note: "I asked a simple question akin to asking whether you can confirm that the sky is blue. Here's the question in case it got lost: can you confirm on the record that Trig Palin is Sarah Palin's biological son? Can I please get a response of some sort, even if it is that you will not respond?" The McCain camp, which provided the messages to The Washington Post, did not reply.

The World Is A Sad Dark Place

Glitter Graphics




The Rockey Mountain News hit a new media low. One of their asshat reporters live-blogged a 3yo's funeral, who was killed at an ice cream store:

rabbi calls end to ceremony 10:28 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi chanting final prayer in hebrew 10:27 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

earth being placed on coffin. 10:22 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi recites the main hebrew prayer of death 10:20 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi zucker praying 10:18 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

coffin lowered into ground 10:18 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

people gathering at graveside 10:14 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

procession begins 10:01 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

cars queueing up to follow hearse 09:59 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

pallbearers carry out coffin followed by mourners. 09:48 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

people again are sobbing. rabbi again asks god to give marten everlasting life. 09:46 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

video shows marten blowing out candles on birthday cake, marten with dog. last images are of headlines. 09:44 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

video of marten is projected on screen. 09:32 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi says marten is close to god now. 09:31 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi says marten loved to be tickled. calls the death a nightmare. no words can sooth us, he says. 09:28 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

family member says marten is with grandmother who died last year. ' marten we loved you,' he says. People sobbing. 09:22 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

family member remembers marten. 09:20 AM September 10, 2008 from txt
rabbi says we will always remember marten and he will live in our memory. 09:18 AM

September 10, 2008 from txt

rabbi recites 23rd psalm. 09:16 AM September 10, 2008 from txt

Oh yeh, forgot to tell you that he did it on Twitter.

Douche.

Vanity Fair On Palin Baby Bonanza

View the rest here.

Lindsay Lohan Has Things To Say/Slur About Palin Baby Bonanza

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Read this shit:

When SamRo's away, LiLo will blog. Last night, Lindsay Lohan took to her blog for help locating Dixie cups of marble ice cream before Samantha Ronson returned home and then finished up the entry by dedicating a song to her girl with the lyric "I've been saved by a woman." Yeah, pretty typical stuff.

So that's why we were caught off guard when Linds offered up a particularly fair and balanced political entry this morning. The topic at hand: Republican V.P. candidate Sarah Palin and all that baby drama surrounding her 17-year-old daughter.

Lindsay writes: "I think the real problem comes from the fact that we are taking the focus off of getting to know Sarah Palin and her political views, and what she can do to make our country a less destructive place. Its distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences."

Today's Godtube Moment II

Since we missed one last week.

Creepiest. Baby. Ever.

Today's Godtube Moment

Still sticking with this whole Palin Baby Bonanza thing.....

Some pregnant slut wants to do her part for population control until the Ghost of Greasy Faced Rape Baby Future appears and fucks everything up.

Read This One Too

Yikes.

Meet The Guy Who Will Actually Fess Up To Making Another Palin Baby

His name is Levi Johnston and he's the whoremonger who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, for the second time.

The NY Post has an excerpt from his Myspace page:

On his MySpace page, Johnston boasts, "I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."

"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.

He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids."

In case you where wondering, he will attend the convention, get loaded and sodomize the Bush twins with moose antlers in the VIP box.

Just Kidding. Here's Another Baby Story.

From Ben Smith:

Palin's 17-year old daughter is pregnant, and plans to marry the father, the campaign says.

What a strange campaign this is.

UPDATE: The Palins' statement:

We have been blessed with five wonderful children who we love with all our heart and mean everything to us. Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents. As Bristol faces the responsibilities of adulthood, she knows she has our unconditional love and support.

Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family. We ask the media to respect our daughter and Levi's privacy as has always been the tradition of children of candidates.

One More For Today....Maybe

Go read this.

BREAKING NEWS: John Edwards' Sweaty Sex Baby Photos Revealed

Above are pics that cold hearted twats the National Inquirer took of John Edwards' sexy meeting with that really gross lady and their child, which was conceived from God's spit and milldust.

The one picture of Millboy closing the blinds is pretty convincing, but the other hazy pic looks like some lesbo holding one of those Chinese babies you can buy for $20:

The NATIONAL ENQUIRER is releasing the photograph that the world has been waiting for – the first-ever picture of John Edwards and his love child!

The stunning “spy photo” shows the former presidential contender holding his infant daughter Frances Quinn Hunter at the Beverly Hilton hotel in Los Angeles – where the ENQUIRER caught him visiting the baby’s mother, his mistress Rielle Hunter.

Edwards is holding his love child while standing in front of a distinctive striped curtain.

The same window covering hangs in each one of the hotel’s guest rooms – and is clearly visible in photos of guest rooms on the hotel’s Web site.

“These photos are damning proof,” said a source close to the situation.

“He’s been caught lying about his affair with Rielle and their love child for many months – and now the proof against him is piling up.

“His elaborate coverup is unraveling at the seams.”

via that crappy grocery store coloring book