RedState Pretends To Know Gay People

This is just too rich:

President Obama is reportedly set to nominate California Representative Ellen Tauscher for the post of Undersecretary of State for Arms Control and International Security.

If you consult Ms. Tauscher’s biography, her work on arms control and non-proliferation makes its first appearance in the 12th paragraph (in a bio with 14 paragraphs overall). Her work in this area is apparently not as important as her work on Wall Street, her leadership on the Transportation Committee (including getting funding for a tunnel in her district), or her work on public school funding - all of which get prominent mention before non-proliferation issues.

...There’s another interesting thing about Ms. Tauscher: she is the sponsor of legislation to undo the military’s ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ policy. She reintroduced the legislation on March 3 — about two weeks before her nomination was announced. It has 134 cosponsors as of today - nearly one-third of the House, just a few weeks after introduction. When she introduced the bill, she planned to hold hearings to educate the public, and suggested that Secretary Powell could lead the effort to sell repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. It seems as if Ms. Tauscher had done a good job of laying the groundwork for an effort to repeal the measure in the House.

So why did Barack Obama choose to elevate a leader for repealing the ban on gays in the military, to a position where she would lose all influence over the matter?

...If I had supported Barack Obama because he promised to allow gays to serve openly in the military, I sure would be disappointed today. It’s a shame they couldn’t pick someone other than Ms. Tauscher for such an important post.


Thanks for caring.

President Unicorn Sends Sexy Terror Video Message To Fellow Muslins

From Ben Smith:

Here's some unusual direct diplomacy: A video message to the people of Iran on the Iranian new year.

So in this season of new beginnings I would like to speak clearly to Iran's leaders. We have serious differences that have grown over time. My administration is now committed to diplomacy that addresses the full range of issues before us, and to pursuing constructive ties among the United States, Iran and the international community. This process will not be advanced by threats. We seek instead engagement that is honest and grounded in mutual respect.

You, too, have a choice. The United States wants the Islamic Republic of Iran to take its rightful place in the community of nations. You have that right -- but it comes with real responsibilities, and that place cannot be reached through terror or arms, but rather through peaceful actions that demonstrate the true greatness of the Iranian people and civilization. And the measure of that greatness is not the capacity to destroy, it is your demonstrated ability to build and create.

World Outraged By Obama's Retarded Comment

Someone's been spending too much time with Joe Biden.

More on the story @ Ben Smith

Obama Admin Anger Bear Quoted On Church Sign

The few words COS Rahm Emanuel knows that do not include profanity were placed on the message board of Judson Memorial Church, a temple for liberal satanists.

From NYT:

Rahm Emanuel, President Obama’s top lieutenant, will probably never be confused with Mother Teresa. So it was a surprise to see a quotation from him, with his name attached, printed on the message board outside a church in Manhattan, facing the street for passers-by to contemplate.

Never waste a crisis,” the sign says. “It can be turned to joyful transformation. — Rahm Emanuel.

The message hangs at the entryway of the Judson Memorial Church, a liberal, social-activist church in Greenwich Village. It’s the kind of “reader board” that other churches reserve for the title of a sermon or a quotation from the Prophets — an exceedingly unlikely place for the words of a profane Chicago pol, known more for his knee capping than knee bending. Moreover, the church defines itself as “in the Christian tradition” and is affiliated with the American Baptist Churches and United Church of Christ; Mr. Emanuel is Jewish.


via Ben Smith

On Lambo's Awkward Night

Short version:

It was Grand Ole Opry week, and Adam Lambert chose Ring of Fire.

Randy Travis was the "mentor" and proceeded to try and convince America you can get AIDS and the gay from black nail polish. Lambo's choice of a "Middle Eastern kind of flair" on the song did everything but push Travis to the breaking point of tying the Gay Emodemon to a fencepost in Wyoming. Watch the vid for catchy Randy Travisisms like "I don't even know what to say about this boy".

Also, we're pretty sure that was Cheeks/Brad Bell shown in the audience with the caption "ADAM'S MOM AND FRIENDS".

dlisted's Michael K went off:

Why didn't Johnny Cash appear in a ring of fire to punch Adam Lambert in the mouth and then burn that "Mad Max gone wrong" jacket over his body?! Adam's performance of "Ring of Fire" made my ring of fire (I'm putting cream on it) throb in pain. Bitch gets an A+ in trytoohardy, but if you weren't smoking some of Paula Abdul's secret recipe through a hookah, you were probably trying to figure out what the hell was going on up there. Paula was definitely the only ho who was on board with that shit. You would be too if a magic carpet appeared at your feet and flew you through Adam Lambert's boyfriend's sparkly sweater during that slaughter-filled performance.

It was like orgy music that will make your peen go limp. Speaking of, when Adam tried to bring on the sexy, I had to go to Bible.com, put my hand on the screen and pray that I never experience anything like that ever again. That being said, Adam needs to stay. Well, that glittery Shrek creature with Sonic the Hedgehog hair is at least making me feel something. The rest of those boring bores only make me crave oatmeal made with tap water.


The performance was also panned by Rolling Stone.

Sorry, Lambo Cockrissian. Try again next week.

BREAKING NEWS: brickbat Endorses Missouri

The alternate title of this post was "Chuck Baldwin And This Douche Are Gold-humping, Ron Paul-fetishist Jewbeasts."

From (giggle) Chuck Baldwin:

Thanks to a concerned Missouri state policeman, a nationally syndicated radio talk show host stated that he was alerted last week to a secret Missouri state police report that categorized supporters of Congressman Ron Paul, Bob Barr, and myself as "'militia' influenced terrorists." The report, he said, "instructs the Missouri police to be on the lookout for supporters displaying bumper stickers and other paraphernalia associated with the Constitutional, Campaign for Liberty, and Libertarian parties."

Ignoring the threat of Muslim terrorists, the Missouri Information Analysis Center (MIAC) report focuses on the so-called "militia movement" and "conflates it with supporters of Ron Paul, Chuck Baldwin, Bob Barr, the so-called patriot movement and other political activist organizations opposed to the North American Union and the New World Order."


Good...because you people are fucking nuts.

Let's read on:

The Columbia Daily Tribune also carried the story last Saturday. It quoted Missouri resident Tim Neal of Miller County. "When Neal read the report, he couldn't help but think it described him. A military veteran and a delegate to the 2008 Missouri Republican state convention, he didn't appreciate being lumped in with groups like the Neo-Nazis.

"'I was going down the list and thinking, "Check, that's me,"' he said. 'I'm a Ron Paul supporter, check. I talk about the North American union, check. I've got the "America: Freedom to Fascism" video loaned out to somebody right now. So that means I'm a domestic terrorist? Because I've got a video about the Federal Reserve?'"


Yes, it does.




And with that, we bring you a very special Today's Paultard Video:



via here and Columbia Daily Tribune,

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

via tangle

Lambo Shamelessly Destroying American Marriages

Create cool Profile Comments





A golden editorial from The Daily Rake:

If you are a heterosexual male and haven’t seen Adam Lambert’s insane mastery of song and dance on American Idol, then you’ve never really had your natural inclinations towards women put to the test. Consider this a warning. Mr. Lambert will groove his way into the deepest, darkest recesses of your being until you look down and are surprised to see that you still have a penis. How exactly does he operate? Nobody knows yet. All I know is that 15 minutes ago I was totally imagining an adult encounter with Lil Rounds and now there is ambiguity in the situation. So now I’m left trying to pick up the pieces of my manhood and figure out what just happened.


Do read the entire piece.

Bruno Rapes Stupid Ron Paul In DC Hotel

Hahahahahahahaha. Oh my.

If this report from Slate is true, we will watch the Bruno movie for 3 days straight without sleep.

Besides tricking the Alabama National Guard in to allowing him on post to train and show off his thong, Sacha Baron Cohen dooped everyone's favorite loveable crazy racist Dr. Congressman to share a night of hot gay sex by candlelight, just as it was intended by the framers of our Constitution:

In a five-minute scene, comedian Cohen tries—and fails—to seduce the Texas congressman and former Republican presidential candidate in a Washington hotel room. A spokeswoman for Paul confirmed the appearance but declined to discuss details, which were provided by two people who attended a test screening last week.

...The scene with Paul, filmed in early 2008, occurs about halfway through the movie, after Bruno gets the idea that you have to make a sex tape to become famous. (Stop reading here if you want to see the movie unspoiled.)

Cut to a nondescript hotel suite where Bruno sits across from Ron Paul. After a brief exchange of pleasantries, a light blows out on the set. Bruno apologizes for the technical difficulties and suggests that he and Paul wait in the other room while the crew fixes the light.

The other room, it turns out, is a bedroom. The lighting is low, and the film is now grainy—not unlike a sex tape—as it cuts to a hidden spy camera. There's a spread of Champagne and strawberries and caviar on a table.

Bruno tells Paul to make himself comfortable. Paul sits down on the bed. Bruno turns on some music and starts dancing. Paul is visibly uneasy but doesn't say anything at first. He picks up a newspaper and pretends to read it. "You can tell at each weird gay detail, he [chalks] it up to, This guy is European," says one of the attendees.

Finally, Paul asks what's going on. "Don't worry about it, Dr. Paul," says Bruno, who then unbuckles his belt and drops his pants. At that point, Paul snaps up and storms out of the room.

As Paul is walking away, you can hear him say, several times, something like, "This guy is a queer!" "The word queer comes out of his mouth three or four times," says an attendee.

A spokeswoman for Paul confirmed that the episode took place but declined to provide details. "We don't want it to distract from his message," said press secretary Rachel Mills. "Now is the time when people need to be listening to him on economic issues."

Mills, who was present at the taping, did elaborate on the "queer" line. "I heard him say 'weird,' " she wrote in an e-mail. "In any case, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Queer as Folk … it's not exactly a shocking term if that's what he did say."



I believe you all owe Buster McDermott an apology:




via Slate

Mormon Jesus

A remix on the classic.

via poe

Levi Johnston Is One Hot Cracker

Sorry, just is.

From GMA:

Levi Johnston, the former fiance of Bristol Palin, says the couple broke up "a week, two weeks" ago but leaves open the possibility that they could reunite.

"We'll see, we'll see how it is," Johnston, 19, said March 13 in an exclusive interview at his Alaska home with Neal Karlinsky of "Good Morning America." "We'll just remain friends for now. We're both cool with that decision, and we'll see."

For the first time, Johnston described the circumstances of his split with Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's eldest daughter, and talked about becoming a father.

"We were just, we were in a fight," the teen said. "And trying to see if we can make things work. But this is what it kind of ended up turning into. But we'll see what happens."

IKEA Spokesperson "Contemporary" Oscar Wilde

Polish Catholic letter writers got the smackdown from IKEA after complaining about homosexual Devilgoats appearing in the catalog:

“Homosexuality is one of the essential elements of living in contemporary society.”

Official IKEA spokesperson’s response to pressure from grumpy Polish Catholics (namely a letter writing campaign) who had a hoo haa because they wanted queer couples removed from the IKEA catalog. The item in question was, according to The Ikea Fans Blog the most recent “IKEA Family Live 2009 publication, 12 archetypes of different family makeup are presented under the slogan ‘Family life is changing … Welcome to the new era.’ One of the 12 example families presented is Ian and Steve, page 54 -57 (see item 1 and item 2), who have no interest in having children, but enjoy their IKEA Kitchen and herb garden and their awesome digs.


via jockohomo

Meghan McCain Will Cut A Bitch

Make custom Glitter Graphics



The McCain Blogette empress is getting way more attention these days than her loser father.

Lately she's been giving economic advice on various news orgs while admitting she never took econ in college and using her blog entries at The Daily Beast to pick fights with the eldest (and ugliest) of the Olsen twins.

Now, she's ready to go all Puerto Rican on Laura Ingraham:

John McCain’s daughter Meghan has a message for conservative talk-show host Laura Ingraham: “Kiss my fat ass.”

Last week, Ingraham mocked McCain on her radio show after the daughter of former GOP presidential nominee John McCain urged Republicans to seek compromise with Democrats. Ingraham called McCain “a Valley Girl gone awry” and a “plus-sized model.”

McCain, who writes about politics and her personal life for The Daily Beast, went on The View on Monday to fight back.

“What do young women think when I speak my mind about politics and I want to have a political discussion about the ideological future of the Republican Party, and the answer is, ‘She’s fat, she shouldn’t have an opinion.’ What kind of message are we sending young women?” she asked.

“It infuriates me,” she said. “I’m a political writer on a blog, and all of a sudden I’m too fat to write?”

The View’s conservative co-host, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, called Ingraham’s remarks “a low blow.”

McCain said she felt like Tyra Banks when the model “went on her show in her bathing suit and said, ‘Kiss my fat ass.’”

“That’s what I feel right now,” McCain said. “I’m like, ‘Kiss my fat ass!’”



Ingraham quickly responded to McCain once again on her show, telling McCain that she needs to learn to deal with satire and “teasing.”

“Can I say ‘lighten up,’ or is that offensive too?” Ingraham asked.


via CNN