On Lambo's Awkward Night

Short version:

It was Grand Ole Opry week, and Adam Lambert chose Ring of Fire.

Randy Travis was the "mentor" and proceeded to try and convince America you can get AIDS and the gay from black nail polish. Lambo's choice of a "Middle Eastern kind of flair" on the song did everything but push Travis to the breaking point of tying the Gay Emodemon to a fencepost in Wyoming. Watch the vid for catchy Randy Travisisms like "I don't even know what to say about this boy".

Also, we're pretty sure that was Cheeks/Brad Bell shown in the audience with the caption "ADAM'S MOM AND FRIENDS".

dlisted's Michael K went off:

Why didn't Johnny Cash appear in a ring of fire to punch Adam Lambert in the mouth and then burn that "Mad Max gone wrong" jacket over his body?! Adam's performance of "Ring of Fire" made my ring of fire (I'm putting cream on it) throb in pain. Bitch gets an A+ in trytoohardy, but if you weren't smoking some of Paula Abdul's secret recipe through a hookah, you were probably trying to figure out what the hell was going on up there. Paula was definitely the only ho who was on board with that shit. You would be too if a magic carpet appeared at your feet and flew you through Adam Lambert's boyfriend's sparkly sweater during that slaughter-filled performance.

It was like orgy music that will make your peen go limp. Speaking of, when Adam tried to bring on the sexy, I had to go to Bible.com, put my hand on the screen and pray that I never experience anything like that ever again. That being said, Adam needs to stay. Well, that glittery Shrek creature with Sonic the Hedgehog hair is at least making me feel something. The rest of those boring bores only make me crave oatmeal made with tap water.


The performance was also panned by Rolling Stone.

Sorry, Lambo Cockrissian. Try again next week.