Saturday, August 23, 2008

Eat It, Cankles

You ain't goin' nowheres, bitch.

Besides not being chosen as Sen. Unicorn's bottom, Hillary was also slighted by the timing of the text messages sent out this morning. At 3am.

Another explanation for this could be that 3am is dead time and BO really is the Antichrist.

Either way: LOLZ@HILLTARDZBITTERZ&SLUTZ

Done



via 62262

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Angle Of The Dangle

Vanity Fair Talks About WALNUTS!'s Awful Hair



Sure, John McCain's captors in Vietnamistan disfigured his face and body, turning him into the angry elderly troll we're faced to look at every day. But, did you know they are also responsible for his horrible hair or lack thereof?

Which Actor Is A Gay Rapist?



Vote here.

2008 Debate Schedule



1. First Presidential Debate:

* Date: September 26
* Site: University of Mississippi
* Topic: Foreign Policy & National Security
* Moderator: Jim Lehrer
* Staging: Podium debate
* Answer Format: The debate will be broken into nine, 9-minute segments. The moderator will introduce a topic and allow each candidate 2 minutes to comment. After these initial answers, the moderator will facilitate an open discussion of the topic for the remaining 5 minutes, ensuring that both candidates receive an equal amount of time to comment

2. Vice Presidential Debate

* Date: October 2nd
* Site: Washington University (St. Louis)
* Moderator: Gwen Ifill
* Staging/Answer Format: To be resolved after both parties’ Vice Presidential nominees are selected.

3. Second Presidential Debate

* Date: October 7
* Site: Belmont University (Nnashville)
* Moderator: Tom Brokaw
* Staging: Town Hall debate
* Format: The moderator will call on members of the audience (and draw questions from the internet). Each candidate will have 2 minutes to respond to each question. Following those initial answers, the moderator will invite the candidates to respond to the previous answers, for a total of 1 minute, ensuring that both candidates receive an equal amount of time to comment. In the spirit of the Town Hall, all questions will come from the audience (or internet), and not the moderator.

4. Third Presidential Debate

* Date: October 15
* Site: Hofstra University
* Topic: Domestic and Economic policy
* Moderator: Bob Schieffer
* Staging: Candidates will be seated at a table
* Answer Format: Same as First Presidential Debate
* Closing Statements: At the end of this debate (only) each candidate shall have the opportunity for a 90 second closing statement.

via Ben Smith

Bring Your Sticky To Denver



From Reason:

Yesterday drug policy reformer Mason Tvert, who led the campaigns for both initiatives, told a panel charged with implementing the new law that marijuana arrests in Denver, which totaled 1,600 last year, are on pace to hit 1,900 this year, without taking into account a surge that's likely to accompany the Democratic National Convention, which begins on Monday. "After the Democratic National Convention ends, there will be hundreds of marijuana cases all showing up at the same time," Tvert said. That's if police ignore a resolution, approved by the panel yesterday, urging them to refrain from arresting or citing pot smokers during the convention. According to A.P., "city officials say the resolution is not binding."

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Barack To The Future: 1995



From Ben Smith:

A pro-Obama blogger turns up this 1995 video which reveals that Obama was...exactly the same 13 years ago.

He tells the story of his grandmother visiting his African-American Chicago world for the first time, and speaks warmly (as he does in Dreams for My Father, which he's promoting) of Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

Andrew Sullivan sees the consistency in "his determination to confront racial polarization and his cultural centrism (as well as liberal politics)." There's also, though, an analytical detachment, even when talking about himself, that he's shaken off as this campaign cycle progressed.

Today's Godtube Moment



ElijahJohn888 is back with more wierd shit to say. This time, it's about his vision of the Rapture, which is the date that this Jesus person comes to Earth and takes all the crazies back to Heaven so they no longer kill our buzz.

Elijah, if you want people to take your visions seriously, don't tell us they happened while on a road trip in 1968. And don't post them on Godtube at 12am.

via Godtube

Best. Keynote. Ever.

This is what he will wear.  No shit.

9udy 11uliani now has a slot at the GOP convention.



via Ben Smith

McCain's Record On Gay Stuff



via Obama's Big Gay Website

Mitcham Doesn't Make The Cut



Australia's first openly gay olympian missed the finals:

Gay Australian diver Matthew Mitcham failed to make the finals of the men’s 3m springboard competition at the Beijing Olympics on Tuesday.

Mitcham finished 16th out of the 18 divers in the semi-final, with only the top 12 divers going through to the final round.

His teammate Robert Newbery made the final round with an 11th place finish in the preliminaries.
Mitcham still has a chance at a diving medal on Friday in his strongest event, the men’s 10m platform. The preliminary rounds will be held on Friday night.


Matthew's site here.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Obama's Convention Still All About Hillary

You were just going to spend that money on bon bons anyway, you fat sluts.

Never Forget.

Never Forget that the 2008 Democratic Primary contestant with lady parts is a stupid hobo that spent all of her money on a bitter loser campaign.

So, donate now. The big red button says so.

If you do, there's a chance to can fly out to Denver with Hillary on BitterForce1 and probably get felt up by a drunken Bill on the way.

Bonus Fun: Read the first and only comment so far.

Today's Paultard Video



The nazi Paultard returns!!!

Here's something about how he can't believe Ron Paul suspended the campaign he was losing and the economies and free gay porn on your internet.

Generalissimo John McCunt Was Never Tortured



Read the whole thing from Sully:

In all the discussion of John McCain's recently recovered memory of a religious epiphany in Vietnam, one thing has been missing. The torture that was deployed against McCain emerges in all the various accounts. It involved sleep deprivation, the withholding of medical treatment, stress positions, long-time standing, and beating. Sound familiar?

According to the Bush administration's definition of torture, McCain was therefore not tortured.


Also, we missed this one by a day. But a good read.

Joe Biden May Or May Not Appear With Clean Articulate Black Man Saturday

Wheeee!

Rumors on the internets say that Barry Hussein will appear in Springfield, IL. Saturday astride a magical flaming unicorn with his bottom veep riding bitch.

Meanwhile, Biden says that he's "not the guy." This is because his cat has been threatened by Hillary Clinton.

John McCain's Latest Addition To RACERIOT 2008™



Mexicans do not like black people. They just don't. The elderly Juan McCain knows this and is using it to his advantage yet again with another negative spanishy language ad.

Translation at Hotline

brickbat May Have Legit Excuse For Binge Drinking/Debauchery



via Wunderground

WANTED: Uncut Gay Spies

Secret Gaygent Man

Notice to all homosexual British people: There's a job for you, besides cutting hair and catering.

You can be a spy person. Just like James Bond. Kinda. Without the whole fucking women part....unless you're a bulldogga:

Britain's domestic spy agency wants gay recruits to know: It's time to come out of the closet.

After shunning them for decades over worries of blackmail, MI5 is now asking gay and lesbian people to consider a career as a spy, promising the chance to fight terrorists, protect their country — and earn a decent salary, plus benefits.

As part of an ongoing recruitment drive, MI5 is already wooing women, minorities and people with language skills. The fact that they're now reaching out to Britain's gay community is long overdue, said Peter Tatchell, a London-based gay rights activist.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Monday Phone In



John McCain copied off of Barry's Bible quiz.

Will Joe Biden call Mittens clean and articulate at the veep debate?

Norm Coleman joins countless other Republicans in being forced to attend the convention.

If that bitch that filled her SUV and then the 5 gas tanks in her trunk at the gas station during Ivan while I waited decides she wants to do the same thing during Faye, there's gonna be some furniture moving.

Roberta McCain has always been a cunt.

That gay republican dude resigned his post at his slutty website.

Ellen got married.