Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Ever been minding your own business, drinking or drinking and driving and whatnot, and some buzzkill comes along to talk about their boyfriend Jesus?

Well, The Rapture will solve that for you. Armageddon is just another term for "more booze and sexy time left for the rest of us".

via tangle

brickbat May Have Legit Excuse For Binge Drinking/Debauchery

via Wunderground

Hillary's Drinking Out Of Control, Causes Her To Be A Big Liar

Only one thing wrong with the above ad:

Barack Obama can take some solace out of Hillary Clinton’s new television ad in Pennsylvania. At least one of her supporters featured in the spot hammering Obama for his small town comments isn’t registered to vote in Pennsylvania.

Clyde Thomas, who sports a goatee in the ad and says, “the good people of Pennsylvania deserve a lot better than what Barack Obama said,” is actually registered in New Jersey. He voted there for Clinton Feb. 5. He only recently moved to Bethlehem, Pa.

“It shouldn’t be a big deal. I explained it to the campaign,” Thomas said in an interview. “I see Pennsylvanians for what they are. I grew up with the values of Pennsylvanians.”

via The Swamp

Everyone's Talking About Hillary's Drinking Problem

Who Will Be Elected America's Lush-in-chief?

or

Thundercunt Loves Guns, Killing Things

Sen. Hillary "Cankles McGee" Clinton is reveling in the St. Barack slip up. Now, she lurves her some guns. Just like Mittens:

Hillary Clinton appealed to Second Amendment supporters on Saturday by hinting that she has some experience of her own pulling triggers.

"I disagree with Sen. Obama's assertion that people in our country cling to guns and have certain attitudes about trade and immigration simply out of frustration," she began, referring to the Obama comments on small-town Americans that set off a political tumult on Friday.

She then introduced a fond memory from her youth.

"You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught be how to shoot when I was a little girl," she said.

"You know, some people now continue to teach their children and their grandchildren. It's part of culture. It's part of a way of life. People enjoy hunting and shooting because it's an important part of who they are. Not because they are bitter."



Also, unlike that giant pussy Barack, she can shoot whiskey. Just like the common man:

Clinton stood by the bar and took a shot of Crown Royal whiskey. She took one sip of the shot, then another small sip, then a few seconds later threw her head back and finished off the whole thing.

Clinton later sat down at a table and enjoyed some pizza and beer, and called over Mayor Tom McDermott of Hammond, Ind., to come join the table.

"Every time I get around you we start drinking, senator," the mayor exclaimed.

Clinton nodded and raised her glass.

"It's Saturday night, though, Tom," she said.

Then she unzipped her pants and showed Tom the brain.

via HuffPo

We're Back

Sometimes, it's just a good idea to step out of this whole election news bullshit to get perspective on the real world.

Maybe it was the continuous sniping of the candidates. Maybe it was the ever-flowing verbal diarreah out of the mouths of cable news talking heads. More thank likely it was the fact that if I saw that yellow fucking pantsuit one more time I would have wrapped my mouse cord around my neck and ended it all.

So, that being said, here are some non-news things we here at brickbat learned over the extended extended weekend:

1) Elderly people are are actually tolerable at casinos. Not nasty at all. Probably due to the combination of medication and flashing lights.

2) If you look like you're 16, expect half of your time at a casino to be filled with showing pit bosses and leggy cocktail waitresses your I.D. The other half of your time will be filled waiting for the same leggy waitress to bring you your fucking drink.

3) You can only get your money's worth out of $22 buffets by slamming mimosas. It def won't be gotten by eating the food.

4) Slot machines are ridiculous these days. Too many buttons. Since when do I have to hit 3 buttons and then pull a lever, hoping to match 5 Jango Fetts just to win $5?

5) Never follow 12 hours continuous hours of gambling by going to some hippy music fest in the woods.

6) If you do, never audibly make fun of Ron Paul unless you wanna get the stank eye the rest of the night by a bunch of dirty wannabe hippies.

7) Hippies can't stand silence. If a band stops, drum circles begin. Immediately.

8) You can't escape politics by going to said music fest. All bands hate W, war machines, the federal reserve, and most things that do not involve L. Ron Paultard.

9) Hippies are actually dirty filthy people who don't pick up trash, and therefore hate Mother Earth.

10) I'm getting older because I hate hippies.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

From 2006:

Hillary Wins Texas, Ohio, and Rhode Island

Texas: Clinton 51%, Obama 48%

Ohio: Clinton 54%, Obama 44%

Rhode Island: Clinton 58%, Obama 40%


Real Clear Politics still shows Obama with the delegate lead, 1546 to Clinton's 1449.

What does this all mean?

It means that the next seven, (maybe even more) weeks are going to be torture. Lot's of shitty ads, stupid Youtube videos, cackling, fear mongering, frumpy pantsuits, and excess alcohol consumption.

This Saturday, Wyoming will hold their primary.

Voters from Mississippi will scribble their picks in crayon on March 11.

Then we wait until Pennsylvania holds their primary on April 22.

That is, if we haven't decided to just say fuck it the the electoral process and re-elect W as King of America for a glorious 30 year reign.

Doesn't sound that bad, does it?

via RCP

Drudge Copy Paste

I've been drinking:

AL: OBAMA
AR: CLINTON
DE: OBAMA
GA: OBAMA
IL: OBAMA
MA: CLINTON
NY: CLINTON
NJ: CLINTON
OK: CLINTON
TN: CLINTON

AR: HUCKABEE
CT: MCCAIN
DE: MCCAIN
IL: MCCAIN
MA: ROMNEY
NJ: MCCAIN
NY: MCCAIN
WV: HUCKABEE

via Drudge

Kennedy Crashes Endorsement Into Obama Campaign

1 Part Interwebs, 1 Part Cohol

Don't mind if I do.

[Joe Bartender]