We're Back

Sometimes, it's just a good idea to step out of this whole election news bullshit to get perspective on the real world.

Maybe it was the continuous sniping of the candidates. Maybe it was the ever-flowing verbal diarreah out of the mouths of cable news talking heads. More thank likely it was the fact that if I saw that yellow fucking pantsuit one more time I would have wrapped my mouse cord around my neck and ended it all.

So, that being said, here are some non-news things we here at brickbat learned over the extended extended weekend:

1) Elderly people are are actually tolerable at casinos. Not nasty at all. Probably due to the combination of medication and flashing lights.

2) If you look like you're 16, expect half of your time at a casino to be filled with showing pit bosses and leggy cocktail waitresses your I.D. The other half of your time will be filled waiting for the same leggy waitress to bring you your fucking drink.

3) You can only get your money's worth out of $22 buffets by slamming mimosas. It def won't be gotten by eating the food.

4) Slot machines are ridiculous these days. Too many buttons. Since when do I have to hit 3 buttons and then pull a lever, hoping to match 5 Jango Fetts just to win $5?

5) Never follow 12 hours continuous hours of gambling by going to some hippy music fest in the woods.

6) If you do, never audibly make fun of Ron Paul unless you wanna get the stank eye the rest of the night by a bunch of dirty wannabe hippies.

7) Hippies can't stand silence. If a band stops, drum circles begin. Immediately.

8) You can't escape politics by going to said music fest. All bands hate W, war machines, the federal reserve, and most things that do not involve L. Ron Paultard.

9) Hippies are actually dirty filthy people who don't pick up trash, and therefore hate Mother Earth.

10) I'm getting older because I hate hippies.