For No Reason

via videogum

WorldNetDaily Still Questions Mooslim Devil's Existence

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Oh, good lord Xenu deep fried on a dildo. These "birthers" need to eat shit, die, and go to hell.

WND, a Mexican snuff webpamphlet, can't resist the temptation of again raising questions about President Unicorn's eligibility to be...President Unicorn.

Take this:

...arguably Obama’s most egregious, unconstitutional “power-grab” as president may have been his very first – being elected to the highest office in the land while steadfastly refusing to offer proof he is a “natural born citizen,” as required of all presidents by the U.S. Constitution.

That explosive story is the focus of the April 2009 edition of WND’s acclaimed Whistleblower magazine. It’s called “YOUR PAPERS, PLEASE? Why dozens of lawsuits and millions of Americans want Barack Obama to prove he's constitutionally qualified to be president.”


Or this:

In the last few months, dozens of U.S. courts have dismissed legal challenges to Barack Obama's constitutional eligibility to occupy the Oval Office, and even the U.S. Supreme Court has refused to hold a hearing on the evidence – but what have the courts actually cited as reasons for dismissing the concerns of millions of Americans?

Mootness, lack of jurisdiction, lack of responsibility, lack of standing, a series of "no comments" and even the fact the issue has been "twittered."

The one subject that has been avoided to date has been whether or not the president is, in fact, eligible.


Or, better yet, this:

PETITION FOR PUBLIC RELEASE OF

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE

To: Electoral College, Congress of the United States, Federal Elections Commission, U.S. Supreme Court, President of the United States, other controlling legal authorities

Whereas, by requirement of the United States Constitution, Article 2, Section 1, no one can be sworn into office as president of the United States without being a natural born citizen;

Whereas, there is sufficient controversy within the citizenry of the United States as to whether presidential election winner Barack Obama was actually born in Hawaii as he claims;

Whereas, Barack Obama has refused repeated calls to release publicly his entire Hawaiian birth certificate, which would include the actual hospital that performed the delivery;

Whereas, lawsuits filed in several states seeking only proof of the basic minimal standard of eligibility have been rebuffed;

Whereas, Hawaii at the time of Obama's birth allowed births that took place in foreign countries to be registered in Hawaii;

Whereas, concerns that our government is not taking this constitutional question seriously will result in diminished confidence in our system of free and fair elections;

SIGN THE PETITION
We, the undersigned, assert our rights as citizens of the United States in demanding that the constitutional eligibility requirement be taken seriously and that any and all controlling legal authorities in this matter examine the complete birth certificate of Barack Obama, including the actual city and hospital of birth, and make that document available to the American people for inspection.


WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!! Barry Hussein is a secret muslin/Kraken hyrbid determined to abort our Freedoms with African communism.

Today's Paultard Video

If you can make sense of what this 9/11 truther hobbit is talking about...write us.

When will they allow waterboarding in schools?

via Middle-earth

Cheeks' Response To Ms. California

Jabba The Hag Defends Lambo's Pretend Heterosexuality

Seems eerily reminiscent of my parents' defense of Clay Aiken.

via Towleroad

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Today's installment surely stands apart.

One can't help but wonder why this singing twat knows so much about animal buttfuckery.

via tangle

Morning Dump

Levi Johnston to write pop-up book about his time spent with apes.

Fundies get a new mascot.

Megan McCain's resume was posted online via an incoherent twattering.

Yet another reason to get rid of this whole Twitter thing before Ashton Kutcher is installed as a puppet emporer under the control of Skynet.

Judgement Day is closer than we thought.

The first and possibly only time we will tell someone to "take a cue from George W. Bush".

The Internets Just Got Significantly Wierder

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Whoa there! This little masterpiece just took Lambo Cockrissian obsessions to the next level.

Someone on LIVEJOURNAL took the time to write an Adam Lambert/Kris Allen fantasy buttseks mini-series, which turns out to be 100 million words long or so.

As interesting as the fleeting concept may be, this is just regoddamndiculously uncomfortable (NSFW):

He tilts his head down, runs his hand up Kris' back, soothing pressure and guidance, and Kris stands up straighter, pressing against Adam, and Adam licks at his lip because can, and Kris' hand is smoothing along his cheek and neck, tentative, thumb finding the pulse point and Adam laughs against Kris' mouth.

...He kissed him, firmly, then stood to slid his own pants down. He poked at Kris' hip. "Hips, up, lover." And he knows his smile is dark.


We recommend both Lambo and Kris Allen seek a restraining order.

via Part 1 and Part 2

A Children's Treasury Of Horrible Day Of Silence Videos

This past Friday (when your editor was going on 48 hours of no sleep in a Biloxi casino) various gay youths around the world celebrated the Day of Silence, which is a holiday where young homosexuals give their teachers and fellow students a break by shutting the fuck up.

Here's a collection of the worst videos we've found so far:








And for the win: A young Maddow wannabe. See how far you can make it.

Merry 4/20 And All

COED compiled a list of the 10 most successful potheads on our Earths...a few months ago:

Ted Turner

Ted is a rare breed of billionaire — he comes off as completely absent minded, incapable of even putting on his own pants. Yet he is a mega-mogul. He single-handedly invented the 24-hour news cycle with CNN, was named Time’s Man of the Year in 1991, is the largest private land owner in America, and also owns a few other TV stations, and the Atlanta Braves. So… owning lots of stuff? Not what you’d expect from a guy who grew pot in his college dorm room. Ted is also a major funder of the Kentucky Hemp Museum, along with renowned stoner Woody Harelson, and is a well known fan of the classic stoner cartoon Scooby-Doo.