This Kid Is Just A Giant Douche

OMG.

It's just been a matter of time.

The above video comes from a twinkbot waste of oxygen named Connor Jon, girlfriend of known Paultard and famed lesbian, Gay God....also known as Matthew Lush. The two place have a live-stream web show thingy where they cut out paper hearts, talk live to lonely fat girls, and post pointless videos such as this:



While Lush is an internet hemorrhoid unto himself, it's Connor that we would really like to see waterboarded.

Just because a bunch of bored, obese cutters tune in to your show or watch your Youtube vidjas, an internet star you are not.

Everytime you watch a Connor Jon or Gay God upload, a MrChiCity3, or Sara, or Jon Roberts gets an internet virus.

Stop watching this shit. Foreals.

The only thing ConnorJon is good for was this video:



Other than that, eat a bag of dicks.


via the Youtubes

Today's Obligatory Lambo Cockrissian Update

Where to begin....where to begin.....OH!

This terrifying Adam Lambert shower curtain that some lonely cutter is selling on eBay:

Unique! Original! Handpainted with a brush just like a piece of art! Hang it in your shower, on your wall, in a window, behind your bed as a headboard, or frame it and display it just like any art portrait in your home!


My instincts tell me this will be used as an actual shower curtain, bought by some fancy tween boy......and turned inside out. Just a guess.

Next up: Lambo went on a date...with a girl. Atleast that's what one site called it. Joe's Place is really not to be believed on anything, unless they have video of it where you can view it with your own eyes......and even then, don't believe.

The failed film and art students-turned-paparazzi at TMZ stalked Lambo on a "date" with a female and flipped out. Listen for the awkward exchange at the end when the razzi asks Lambo if he'll totally flame out and shoot glitter from his anus after he becomes the first....you know...Idol winner...that....um...




Back to last week, when the internets rages with conspiracies of Lambo's bottom (heh) 3 debut. AI's executive producer Nigel Lythgoe confirmed that, yes, the comely Dandy Prince of Angst did get that few votes:

”SET those conspiracy theories aside — “American Idol” wasn’t trying to fake you out with Wednesday night’s Bottom 3 results.

But Adam may not have been one of the Bottom 2, says the show’s former producer.

“They wouldn’t lie about it; they’re always honest with you,” says Nigel Lythgoe, previously the executive producer for the first seven seasons of “Idol” and currently the executive producer and a judge on “So You Think You Can Dance.”

That being said, it doesn’t mean the show won’t take some liberty with the order that the other two low-vote receiving contestants are told to sit down, he says.

After the votes are collected and tabulated by AT&T and the show’s survey firm, Telescope, “all we’re told at the end of the day is, ‘Here are the Bottom 3,’ ” he says. “And we make whatever we can out of that and turn it into a show.”

...Since “Idol” never specifically states who the second- and third-lowest vote getters are, any conclusions that the audience draws from the order that they’re sent to the safe stand is purely “up to the public at home.”


Atleast Lambo has one fan in high places: Pink Mafia board member Anderson Cooper...

A Children's Treasury Of Horrible Day Of Silence Videos

This past Friday (when your editor was going on 48 hours of no sleep in a Biloxi casino) various gay youths around the world celebrated the Day of Silence, which is a holiday where young homosexuals give their teachers and fellow students a break by shutting the fuck up.

Here's a collection of the worst videos we've found so far:








And for the win: A young Maddow wannabe. See how far you can make it.

Lambo's Possible Devilbride Of Sodom In Idol Audience Last Night

Skip to about the 2:30 mark for a peek at who we assume to be Brad Bell / Cheeks along with some hot twinkbot with long blonde hair.

Btw, who was that twinkbot? Hmm? Hmm? Lambo, you are a nasty bad naughty boy.

Bonus video: James Dobson was right. The gays DO recruit...

Young Republicans Gather For Drunken Night Of Sodomy

Famed hipster Grover Norquist organized a sock hop at a D.C. pub for young conservatives, presumably as a ruse to set up a hot night of hookups for his more senior pals.

The wild bacchanal included Dave Matthews music, FOX News on the teevees, and $5 drinks named after some old shitty actor who invented crack and AIDS:

It's early February, and the happy hour at the Union Pub on Capitol Hill is jammed with an unlikely slice of young Washington strivers: conservatives, libertarians, free-market/small-government types, anyone right of center. People, in other words, in their 20s or early 30s who actually groan at the label Generation Obama.

Organized by an employee at the Grover Norquist-led Americans for Tax Reform, the party in the pub's back barroom seems naturally suited for this group: Fox News is playing alongside the Dave Matthews tracks. One drink special, $5 for a down-on-the-heels set, seems almost too perfect a nostalgic prop: "The Gipper," concocted with bourbon.


WaPo interviewed various GOP twinks and they had interesting things to say. Take this from Spencer Barrs, in "intern":

"My best friend called and asked who I voted for and I told him I wasn't voting for Obama," Barrs says. "And then he told me, 'I just think you hate black people.' It was a shot to the gut. You feel like you're surrounded on all corners."

His friend John O'Keefe, 23, another conservative think-tank intern who might be out of a job after his internship ends in May, dismisses his liberal contemporaries. "The only thing they have are blogs. They feel like gods of our generation," he says, before ruminating on a very Washington cure-all. "I'm hoping that people get [angry] at Obama and start forming political action committees."


The best byte comes from Dustin Siggins, whom WaPo pretty much outs as a flaming mo:

At the Union Pub, Dustin Siggins, 24, says he sometimes uses humor to deflect the awkwardness of being on the margins of his generation. "I met a girl today at the gym from Boston College. She was getting a law degree from George Washington. She was cute," he says. "But she wants to work for the ACLU, and I said, 'Oh, you're one of those.' "

Later, in a phone interview, Siggins says he struggles with some of his party's more culturally orthodox ideals. "Because I am in this generation and was raised in a pro-gay-marriage era, I am only a little bit against gay marriage, but only a little, like 53 percent to 47," he says. "I have about a dozen gay friends, 30 or 20, and they would all back me up. In college, I used to have lunch with them. . . . We went ice skating once."

via WaPo

Another Admitted Guilty Pleasure

This was gold.

via The Principal's Office

Happy Thanksgiving

BTW, this year's Macy's parade was the gayest of all time.

In Non-Election News...

Build your own Blingee



The Jonas Brothers are making their first movie about a farting dog.

Senator Unicorn, You're No Jonas Brothers

It may be Barack's party, but his daughters really could care less......like most of us are starting to do.

After Michelle spoke Monday, she told Malia and Sasha there was a surprise waiting for them. But not the one they wanted:

When Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, took the stage at the Democratic National Convention in Denver on Monday night after their mom Michelle's speech, they had no idea their dad was going to be beamed in live via satellite. When Mrs. Obama told the girls she had a surprise for them, the potential first lady was pretty surprised at the response, according to CNN.

"Is it the Jonas Brothers?" Malia asked.

The girls were pretty upset when they found out they would have to be in Denver during the same weekend Kevin, Nick and Joe would be in their hometown of Chicago — the girls' love for the Jonas boys is well-documented. The senator spent his birthday lounging around and drinking beer while his daughters danced around to the superstars' music on their iPods. And while he finds their music "wholesome enough," he doesn't entirely get it.

"Who are these guys?" he recalled asking his daughters while visiting "Kidd Kraddick in the Morning" last February. "And how many pictures of them do you need on your wall?"

As many as it takes, Barry.

Needs More Craig Stevens

If you're like us, you were dying to know just how Craig Stevens and his super serious girlfriend were doing.

Here's all you wanted to know about Janine, headshots, NY, Broadway, and faggotry:

Is Craig Stevens Real?

From Gawker:

Everyone, meet Craig Stevens. Craig is a recent college graduate from Murfreesboro, Tennessee who's just moved to New York City to pursue his dream of becoming an actor in Broadway musicals. He's brought along his girlfriend Janine. (But they're far away! He lives in "a part of Manhattan called Inwood" and she lives out near Coney Island.) In the four YouTube videos he's made so far, Craig seems like a nice boy , innocent and wide-eyed as he applies for jobs, goes on an audition, and navigates the bewildering wilds of, well, mostly just Times Square. He's charming in a rube-ish kind of way. Though, there are few details that are a little... suspicious.





Gold.

via Gawker

Officials Seize A&F Ads In Fears of Unleashing Own Tendencies

Spoilsports in VA Beach seized two murals from an Abercrombie & Fitch store citing local obsenity laws:

"Adam Bernstein, a police spokesman, said the seizure and the issuance of the summons came only after store management had not heeded warnings to remove the images. The citation was issued under City Code Section 22.31, Bernstein said, which makes it a crime to display 'obscene materials in a business that is open to juveniles.'...The manager was not arrested but faces a fine of up to $2,000 and as much as a year in jail, if convicted. Bernstein said that in a meeting last week with store management, the officer - who is assigned to routine patrol of the mall - said he understood it was a corporate decision as to what would be displayed in the stores. But he explained that that didn't exempt the local store from complying with the city code. Bernstein said management was told specifically: 'We want those advertising signs taken down.'"

UPDATE: The obsenity charges have been dropped.

via Towleroad