Sure, it claims to be based loosely on Eugène Ionesco's classic absurdist play Rhinoceros and, sure, it features allusions to a number of philosophers, including Camus and Sartre, but really it's dumb and silly and a heck of a good time. Particularly if you're anything but sober. And if you're just looking for a grindhouse sort of guilty pleasure to pass the time.
Zombie Strippers opens with a montage that sets the scene: it's sometime in the near future, and Bush has just been reelected to his fourth term. Already, we know this movie will be a complete farce, but the ludicrous exposition continues, explaining that government scientists have developed a virus that allows soldiers in Iraq to continue fighting after they're killed. Yes, these super soldiers are zombies, a minor twist on Joe Dante's anti-Bush short Homecoming, which was one of the more critically celebrated episodes of the cable series Masters of Horror, and which featured Iraq War casualties rising from the dead in order to cast their vote against Bush's reelection.
Well, that plan obviously didn't work, so here the zombies are doing what they're made to do: eat flesh and pole dance.
Senator Barack Obama is swamping Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton with television advertising in their prolonged battle for the Democratic nomination, putting fresh pressure on Mrs. Clinton’s fund-raising machine to find new sources of money to help her keep pace.
But her big-dollar fund-raising apparatus that was once the envy of the political world is encountering obstacles as many of those in its regular networks of donors have reached the maximum on their personal contributions or grown tired of the relentless press for donations.
The campaign is actively hunting for new wellsprings of cash, while tapped-out donors who want to give more are contemplating financing independent efforts on her behalf that are not bound by contribution limits. So far, however, the independent efforts have been halting at best.
The Times also has great accounts of why people are really tired of Clinton, Inc.:
This tension was neatly distilled in a heated conversation in January between a prominent Clinton supporter and Cameron Kerry, the younger brother of Senator John Kerry, who had just endorsed Mr. Obama.
In the telling of two Democrats familiar with the discussion, one from each camp, the Clinton supporter, a Democratic fund-raiser with close ties to both Mrs. Clinton and John Kerry, noted that Mr. Clinton campaigned for Mr. Kerry in 2004, even though the former president had just undergone bypass surgery.
To which Cameron Kerry parried that his brother had agreed to fly with Mr. Clinton on Air Force One after the impeachment vote “when no one wanted to be seen with him.”
...To this day, the Clinton and Kerry camps disagree over whether Mr. Kerry had made promises to intermediaries not to take sides.
He then publicly criticized Mr. Clinton’s conduct before the South Carolina primary. “And he was dead to us,” said one prominent Clinton supporter who is, in his words, “not authorized to trash Kerry on the record.”
Then, this gem about Sen. Claire McCaskill basically saying that Bill Clinton would rape her daughter given the chance:
There is also a large class of Obama supporters in the Senate for whom the Clintons raised considerable amounts of money. This includes Claire McCaskill of Missouri, who upset Mrs. Clinton in a 2006 appearance on “Meet the Press” when she told Tim Russert that while Mr. Clinton was a great leader, “I don’t want my daughter near him.”
Sadly, we all know the actual interview ends with Stephanopoulos rimming Juan McCain while he's napping. Then, the Republican Condo Association President violently awakes and snaps George's neck thinking he is a "gook."
Or...do what I do and laugh about people obsessed with laughing at Anderson Cooper.
Here's a delightful post from some dickhole's LiVEJOURNAL page where he uses annoying words like "the gay mafia", and basically all the other words that are on the page:
Everyone knows Anderson Cooper is gay, but no one knows who he dated until now.
Our friends in the gay mafia here in Hollywood (Yes, it’s real) recently introduced us to the very hot JD Orondez, Anderson Cooper’s ex boyfriend at a party!!! JD’s 22,educated, and is a MARINE MAMMAL TRAINER/BARTENEDER/STUDENT. Isn’t he adorable? Plus, JD’s totally “take home to mother” material.
We like to consider ourselves on the outskirts of the gay mafia, but after this posting we may have to go into hiding in our walk in closet. The only rule about the gay mafia….is that you do not talk about the gay mafia or it’s members.
The two dated for about two months in NYC before Anderson gave him the boot. JD’s now roaming around Los Angeles, soaking up the sun. But don’t ask him about his Anderson affair, JD is known to be mum on the details.
(annyoying bold emphasis theirs)
The aspiring Woodward even goes to the journalistic lengths of copying and pasting everything on the poor guy's Myspace page.
So, Ha Ha Anderson Cooper and Anderson Cooper's alleged ex-bf.
Janet Jackson (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty) went to calligraphy school in Japan (書道 if you're nasty). If you have the time, watch the whole thing.
Now, what's funnier is that there was a Mariah vs. Janet War waged by the commenters on the Youtubes page. It's even better when you try and picture what said commenter might look like. Mine involve mostly flaming milk-and-cookies bandana wearing black queens and........flaming latino bandana wearing queens. Indulge me:
Mariah is this, Mariah is that.....whatever! If Janet's career is over why is she still making videos. She's been in the buisness longer than Mariah and people LOVE JANET no matter what you think. Your just one person........like your opinion is supposed to count.....
and thats why ya ass written blogs on her site...mariah look stupid and slutty al the time..and if u think mariah gives fuck about u ur crzy...janet know her fans and alwyas puts us firt thanks,....u looser
Ur stupid!
You must have not seen the recent OPRAH show with MARIAH>>>BEST FEMALE ENTERTAINER MY ASS>>>>..
FUCK U!!!!!!! BITCHASS!
IT IS OVER FOR JANET. MARIAH IS EXPECTED TO SELL 500k.
Azariah Southworth, host of Christian TV show The Remix, has come out of the closet. According to Tennessee's Out and About newspaper, Southworth has been hosting the show, which reaches 128 million homes worldwide, for a year and a half.
Said Southworth: "This has been a long time coming. I’m in a place where I’m at peace with my faith, friends, family and more importantly myself. I know this will end my career in Christian television, but I must now live my life openly and honestly with everyone. This is my reason for doing this. I know I will be cut off from many within the Christian community, and if so, then they didn’t get the point of the life of Christ. I believe by me living my life honestly and authentically now, I am able to be a better person and a better Christian. We all know there are so many other gay people in the Christian industry; they’re just all scared. I was scared, but now I’m no longer afraid."
Here's one of his promos from The Remix where, like every gay guy trying to pose as a straight, invokes the name of Zac Efron.
Some creepgirl at Yale thought it would be cool to get pregnant, have a bunch of miscarriages, wipe it on posterboard and call it art:
For the past year, I performed repeated self-induced miscarriages. I created a group of fabricators from volunteers who submitted to periodic STD screenings and agreed to their complete and permanent anonymity. From the 9th to the 15th day of my menstrual cycle, the fabricators would provide me with sperm samples, which I used to privately self-inseminate. Using a needleless syringe, I would inject the sperm near my cervix within 30 minutes of its collection, so as to insure the possibility of fertilization. On the 28th day of my cycle, I would ingest an abortifacient, after which I would experience cramps and heavy bleeding.
After going to Spamalot (and posting three verytediousvideos about it), Craig collects his thoughts and reflects on the very un-gay orgasmic metamorphosis of his Broadway adventure.
Also, he is very stressed. Probably because he loves the cock, yet has a girlfriend.
Film cameras slice fluid seconds of time into individual pieces, allowing scientists and laypeople new insights into events happening in high speed. Case in point: In the late 1870s, people didn't know whether a horse trotting ever had all four of its feet simultaneously in the air. An enterprising photographer, Eadweard Muybridge, captured a series of snapshots -- a filmstrip -- of a horse trotting and definitively settled the question in the affirmative. You can see the horse in-motion and check out the geeky tech from this magazine piece on high speed photography.
Fast forward 130 years and we can now split a second into 2,000 of its constituent parts and examine them. One incredible example is the video of the yellow balloon exploding above. At that speed, the water appears much more viscous than it is, holding its shape for a few thousandths of a second before gravity pulls it to the ground.
Mr. Quest was arrested early Friday morning after being escorted out of Central Park for violating the park curfew, a law enforcement official said Friday. The park is closed from 1 a.m. to 6 a.m.
The police noticed Mr. Quest at 64th Street and West Drive at about 3:40 a.m., the official said. As he was being escorted out, he volunteered, "I have meth in my pocket," according to an official briefed on the case. The police searched him and recovered a small amount of methamphetamine in a Ziploc bag.
Not sure who Richard Quest is? Check this video out below:
They went on to add that Quest also uses the Bible as a toilet and rapes babies.
PBS's Frontline had a great piece on how the U.S. basically sucks at taking care of our own people and why Germany and Japan will use this against us in WWVI, just as President WALNUTS! is getting warmed up.
Finally, he speaks. Former conspiracy theory presidential candidate and the Original Ron Paul, Lyndon LaRouche, has offered his take on the Obama phenomenon. It ain't so good! Specifically: Obama's father was a bad father and also an agent with MI5, every male from every continent inseminated Obama's whore of a mother, and Obama is a monkey who also works with British Intel. Obama is also a Racist.
Despite a recent promise from Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean not to make Sen. John McCain's age -- he turns 72 in August -- an issue in the presidential campaign, a senior Democratic operative has started a new website designed to draw attention to just that fact.
Called "Younger than McCain", the website is being run by Steve Rosenthal, a former political director at the AFL-CIO and executive director of America Coming Together, a massive soft money effort organized around the 2004 presidential race. Rosenthal is now a partner in The Organizing Group.
The current content amounts to a 90-second video listing the things younger than McCain -- a list that includes the Golden Gate Bridge, plutonium, Coke in a can and Velcro among many, many other things.
Barack Obama is clearly taking that abysmal ABC News debate in stride. He told his supporters not to fret about all the "textbook Washington" drama on Thursday, recounting the superficial moderators and Hillary Clinton's attempts to "twist the knife" on trivial issues. Then Obama made pop cultural history, miming the rapper Jay-Z's iconic hand signal to "brush the dirt" off his shoulders.
Not that the CNN anchor is gay or anything that might gross out midwestern TV viewers. But, if he were, this is what his hypothetical latino boyfriend might look like. The gossipmongers at L.A. Rag Mag claim they were introduced to the silver-haired TV presenter's ex, J.D. Ordonez, at a gay mafia party in Hollywood. The 22-year-old is not merely the shallow party boy his shirtless Myspace photos would suggest. Ordonez is a marine mammal trainer: he communes with dolphins, as well as closeted news anchors.
Confused? I sure am. Let's sort this out. To comply with Western sensibilities, the Koreans officially banned dog meat. But they don't enforce the ban, presumably because they don't share the abhorrence. And why should they? Why exactly is it gross to eat dogs but OK to slaughter pigs, which, by most measures, are smarter? So we've started with irrationality compounded by hypocrisy.
Now we have a health problem. According to the article, Korean dog "slaughtering and processing is carried out in dirty environments and poses risks to diners' health." Why the dirty environments? Apparently because the formal ban prevents the government from classifying dogs as livestock so it can regulate their slaughter and processing as it does with pigs.
Barack Obama can take some solace out of Hillary Clinton’s new television ad in Pennsylvania. At least one of her supporters featured in the spot hammering Obama for his small town comments isn’t registered to vote in Pennsylvania.
Clyde Thomas, who sports a goatee in the ad and says, “the good people of Pennsylvania deserve a lot better than what Barack Obama said,” is actually registered in New Jersey. He voted there for Clinton Feb. 5. He only recently moved to Bethlehem, Pa.
“It shouldn’t be a big deal. I explained it to the campaign,” Thomas said in an interview. “I see Pennsylvanians for what they are. I grew up with the values of Pennsylvanians.”
Beloved Nazi-Pope Benadryl the XVI has arrived in America!
Today is his birthday so, like anyone else would dream of doing, he spent it with our W.
He also gave a speech at the White House:
Pope Benedict XVI became only the second Pope to visit the White House, and he gave a speech about the purpose of his trip and the importance of democracy being informed by moral values. In attendance was, of course, Bush. The President must have been extremely impressed by the Pope's words because right after Pope Benedict concluded his remarks, Bush leaned over and said, "Thank you, your holiness. Awesome speech."
What will they call it? Farfallegate? The Rosemary Chicken Dome Scandal? Perhaps something with the ubiquitous Rachael Ray in it.
It seems that Cindy McCain, John McCain's perfect, blonde beer-baroness wife is about to find herself painted as the latest example of plagiarism on the campaign trail.
This past Sunday, Lauren Handel, an eagle-eyed attorney from New York, was searching for a specific recipe from Giada DeLaurentis, a chef on the Food Network. Yet whenever she Googled the different ingredients in the recipe, the oddest thing happened: not only did the Food Network's site come up, as expected, but so did John McCain's campaign site.
On a section of McCain's site called "Cindy's Recipes," you can find seven recipes attributed to Cindy McCain, each with the heading "McCain Family Recipe." Ms. Handel quickly realized that some of the "McCain Family Recipes," were in fact, word-for-word copies of recipes on the Food Network site.
At least three of the "McCain Family Recipes" (below) appear to be lifted directly from the Food Network, while at least one is a Rachael Ray recipe with minor changes.
The McCain camp denies these claims, stating that she only prepares dishes that contain Xanax and Vicodin.
It is widely accepted that the best way to stop a zombie is by destroying its brain with a bullet to the head. In practice this is a difficult feat of marksmanship under combat conditions (even the police only manage 25% hits ) so you want to carry as much ammunition as possible. Some readers suggested using the small, lightweight .22LR round, suggesting that this has enough energy not just to penetrate but will "bounce around inside the skull".
...Of course it depends very much on what sort of .22LR ammunition you are using, as there are many varieties in this caliber, ranging from subsonic heavy bullets to smaller "hyper-velocity" rounds and they all have different properties. But it's worth remembering that .22LR had not been adopted as a military cartridge, in spite of the large number of conscripts out there using the 'spray and pray' technique, as it is considered more useful against small animals than humans. That's got to raise questions about its use as a zombie-stopper.
Sen. Hillary "Cankles McGee" Clinton is reveling in the St. Barack slip up. Now, she lurves her some guns. Just like Mittens:
Hillary Clinton appealed to Second Amendment supporters on Saturday by hinting that she has some experience of her own pulling triggers.
"I disagree with Sen. Obama's assertion that people in our country cling to guns and have certain attitudes about trade and immigration simply out of frustration," she began, referring to the Obama comments on small-town Americans that set off a political tumult on Friday.
She then introduced a fond memory from her youth.
"You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught be how to shoot when I was a little girl," she said.
"You know, some people now continue to teach their children and their grandchildren. It's part of culture. It's part of a way of life. People enjoy hunting and shooting because it's an important part of who they are. Not because they are bitter."
Also, unlike that giant pussy Barack, she can shoot whiskey. Just like the common man:
Clinton stood by the bar and took a shot of Crown Royal whiskey. She took one sip of the shot, then another small sip, then a few seconds later threw her head back and finished off the whole thing.
Clinton later sat down at a table and enjoyed some pizza and beer, and called over Mayor Tom McDermott of Hammond, Ind., to come join the table.
"Every time I get around you we start drinking, senator," the mayor exclaimed.
Clinton nodded and raised her glass.
"It's Saturday night, though, Tom," she said.
Then she unzipped her pants and showed Tom the brain.
Barnett thinks the Israel excuse is pretty flimsy:
Israel's 200 nuclear warheads provide all the genocidal capacity it needs to adequately defend itself. This strategic Goliath can hardly pass as David any more, meaning any American obligation to ensure survival was fulfilled long ago.
Now, with such great power comes great responsibility. There are no chosen peoples in such strategic calculations, just immeasurable risk for a species.
We are way beyond anyone's claim on "holy lands" at that point.
Why did John F Kennedy make such a hash of the Bay of Pigs and his summit meeting with Nikita Khrushchev in Vienna?
And how could the same man have dealt so competently with the Cuban Missile Crisis slightly over a year later?
...And there were other health troubles. During the Bay of Pigs fiasco Owen writes that Kennedy had:
Constant and acute diarrhoea and a recurrence of his urinary tract infection.
Central to Owen's account is the idea that the administration of drugs to Kennedy for these various ailments was out of control.
In particular, without the knowledge of his other doctors and at the same time as they were giving him other drugs, he was being tended to by Max Jacobson, a doctor known as "Dr Feelgood" because of his reputation as a provider of amphetamines and pep pills. In time Jacobson's drug treatment became almost a recreational drug for Kennedy. Jacobson was later struck off.
Owen shows that is quite likely that Dr Feelgood, specially flown to Vienna, injected Kennedy with intravenous amphetamine just before he met Khrushchev.
Then later in the year Dr Hans Kraus took control of Kennedy's medication. He demanded total control and began using massage rather than injections to treat the President. He also got rid of Jacobson, telling Kennedy:
If I ever heard he took another shot, I'd make sure it was known. No President with his finger on the red button has any business taking stuff like that.
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