Also, WALNUTS! Is Senile

Someone get Pawpaw a map.

via Ben Smith

Newt Gingrich Won't Stop Talking

This time it's about drilling or some horrifying trip to Europe with his dad......or.....Jimmy Carter being bad at math? Seriously, what is he talking about?

Good thing I'm not alone:

What the fuck does that have to do with the price of gas? Nothing!

BONUS FUN!!!

Here's an unflattering flickr gallery of pictures from Newt's gay "drilling" tour of Orlando.

People Who Have Seen John McCain Naked Says He's OK

The elderly coupon enthusiast has released his medical records.

He had cancers. He takes lots of pills. He is old:

He broke both arms and a leg when he ejected and spent the next 5½ years as a prisoner of war in Hanoi. During that time, he was beaten and tortured repeatedly, suffering fractures of both shoulders. Because he received no treatment for his fractures, they healed improperly, leaving him with reduced range of motion for his shoulders, arms and right knee, Eckstein said.

McCain takes a daily aspirin to prevent formation of blood clots; an occasional Zyrtec, an antihistamine used for nasal allergies; and the sleep agent Ambien CR for treatment of insomnia when he travels.

McCain takes a daily aspirin to prevent formation of blood clots; an occasional Zyrtec, an antihistamine used for nasal allergies; and the sleep agent Ambien CR for treatment of insomnia when he travels.

The former pilot also sometimes experiences occasional dizziness when he stands, a benign condition called positional vertigo, Eckstein said.

John McCain is an elderly dizzy sleepwalking Adonis.

Pawpaw McCain Throws Secret Service Under The Bus

McCain Declines Secret Service, Dares Assassins To Try Something

via The Onion

Atleast One Bitter Old White Lady Likes Hopey

Elderly Juan McCain Is Totally Queer For Doughnuts

With sprinkles.

John McCain Is Older Than Dakota Fanning

And alotta of other things:

Despite a recent promise from Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean not to make Sen. John McCain's age -- he turns 72 in August -- an issue in the presidential campaign, a senior Democratic operative has started a new website designed to draw attention to just that fact.

Called "Younger than McCain", the website is being run by Steve Rosenthal, a former political director at the AFL-CIO and executive director of America Coming Together, a massive soft money effort organized around the 2004 presidential race. Rosenthal is now a partner in The Organizing Group.

The current content amounts to a 90-second video listing the things younger than McCain -- a list that includes the Golden Gate Bridge, plutonium, Coke in a can and Velcro among many, many other things.

via WaPo

Have We Mentioned How Elderly Juan McCain Is?

Howard Dean leaked the possible brilliant strategy the Dems will use come this November against Republican Condo Association President WALNUTS!. Guess what it is?

He's old.

Like salve-loving coupon-cutting elderly:

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean said Thursday that swing voters participating in focus groups commissioned by the D.N.C. bring up John McCain's age unprompted.

"We didn't bring it up, but they volunteered it," said Dean who explained that voters have two concerns about McCain's age. "One was a health concern, the other was, and this is really interesting . . . that his views are old-fashioned."

At the age of 72, McCain would be the oldest newly elected president in U.S. history if inaugurated in 2009.

Referring to what Dean characterized as the party's most conservative focus group in Charleston, W. Va., the DNC chairman said "the women in that group were shocked that [McCain] believed health insurance shouldn't cover birth control pills and they were shocked about his belief in abstinence only education."

While knocking McCain's "old-fashioned" views, Dean maintained that the Democratic Party was unlikely to invoke McCain's age in the fall campaign.

So while not overtly calling McNasty a demented undead codger, they will still use key words like "old-fashioned." Or incontinent, decrepit, shattered, infirm, or Werther's Original.

via Free Republic

Elderly McCain Shocks World, Is Awake For Letterman

Elderly Panamanian Juan McCain Endorsed By Nancy Reagan's Tarot Cards

Hooray for WALNUTS! The endorsements just keep getting better and better. This time it's from former First Lady of Astrology Nancy Reagan.

Let's hear from the elderly stars of Cocoon III:

Fredneck Wakes From Hibernation To Punish Us With More Shitty Acting

Former part-time presidential candidate / master thesbian Fred "Big Al" Thompson has just signed an acting deal:

Former Republican presidential hopeful Fred Thompson is returning to his career as an actor and signed a deal to be represented by the William Morris Agency, the talent group said on Monday.

Thompson, a former U.S. senator from Tennessee, is best known in the entertainment world for portraying New York District Attorney Arthur Branch on the television crime drama "Law & Order," but has appeared in numerous films and TV shows over the years.

Wanna know what you're in for? Here's a taste:



Because of this, I officially volunteer to chair the "Draft Fred for 2012" campaign.

via Reuters

I'm Voting for George W Bush

These election thingys are really not my bag. I wanna see W dance for eight more years.

Below is a video of the Decider tap dancing while waiting for elderly Condo Association President John McCain to arrive at the White House / Future Nursing Home.....House for a meeting/endorsement, of which I'll post later.

George W Bush has danced his way in to my heart and I really wish I knew how to quit him.

John McCain Elected President of Condo Association

WALNUTS! has won the GOP nomination! Black babies and all.

Shhhh. Not too loud.

He's sleeping.

via MSNBC

WALNUTS!

Wins Ohio.



via MSNBC

BREAKINGS NEWS: Hef is a Dirty Old Man

From Gawker:

Though now ancient and doddering, Hugh Hefner is still the same old lovable lech he always was. The Playboy founder would like, in addition to Lindsay Lohan, the Jim Henson-fashioned Olsen twins (still acting Mary-Kate, who the fuck knows Ashley) to do a nude pictorial for the magazine because, according to an anonymous source, "Hugh thinks the twins are every young man's fantasy." Wait, really? I thought we'd moved on from that bizarre period of 18th birthday countdowns (Hef had originally courted the pair around then) and furtive, shameful New York Minute viewings. It seems that Hef may be a bit out of touch on this one. Am I wrong? [Showbiz Spy] After the jump, video documentation of the two sexpots Hef so pruriently craves.



via Gawker

Senile Juan McCain Slips Up

The GOP Shuffleboard Champion had a senior moment and called himself a liberal.

Somewhere, Mittens' is sobbing.

Dodd Endorses Obama

Some old man claiming to have run for president as well has just endorsed Barry Hussein:

A former adviser for Dodd said the timing of the Connecticut senator's endorsement "works pretty well" given that foreign policy has become a key issue of the campaign.

"With Clinton on the attack, a recognized leader on foreign and military affairs is vouching for Obama's readiness," the Dodd adviser told CNN.

via CNN

What Do Cindy McCain and brickbat Have In Common?

We've both had a facelift.

PS:

WALNUTS! has won Wisconsin and all 37 beers delegates!!!

He made some speech about experience, more wars, and that black Hawaiin kid getting the hell off his lawn.

Hooray for the elderly!!!

via CNN

Grumpy Old Men

Yesterday, the elderly Juan McCain was endorsed by his future nursing home roommate George H W Bush, with life partner Mr. Barbara Bush at his side.

The press event went well until the former president spewed metamucil on WALNUTS!, causing all three to slip and break their hips.

Country Bear to Hibernate

Big Al Fred Thompson has dropped out :(

Here's to you, Fredneck: