Space Christians Baptize Random Zombies, Including Obama's Mother

If you think this story is wierd, find it in your inbox as the first thing you read in the morning.

AMERICAblog found out that Mormos go around to dead people and baptise them in Space Jesus' name...without consent from the families.

Among the people who were adorned with magic space pajamas (made of Muslin) and now get their own special planet in the afterlife is Barack Obama's mother, Stanley Ann Dunham.

This is just fucking creepy.

From AMERICAblog:

A reader sent me a tip about this last week. But it's a sensitive topic, sure to cause the President some anguish, so I waited until I could find more information. I now have more information. And what I have is troubling.

A reader contacted me last week, saying that last year, in the heat of the presidential campaign, the Mormons had posthumously baptized Barack Obama's mother, Stanley Ann Dunham. Baptizing the dead of other faith's, secretly and without the consent of their families, is a common Mormon practice. For the past fifteen years the Mormons have caused quite a stir by forcibly baptizing Jewish Holocaust victims - in other words, converting them to Mormonism - despite strong objections from the Jewish community.

Thus, it's hardly a stretch to imagine the Mormons' doing this to Obama's mother. Still, I had no proof. Then yesterday, I received a document. It's allegedly a screen capture of the registration-only section of the Mormon-run Web site, FamilySearch.org. In that screen capture, excerpted above, is clearly the name and correct date of birth and death of Barack Obama's mother (Stanley Ann Dunham, born 29 Nov 1942 in Kansas, died 07 Nov 1995) and the date of her alleged post-death baptism by the Mormons. You can see the entire document here (click image to see larger version):







The story has been confirmed by ABC:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints confirmed Tuesday afternoon that someone improperly, posthumously baptized the late mother of President Obama into the Mormon faith.

Last June 4 -- the day after then-Sen. Obama secured enough delegates to win the Democratic presidential nominee -- someone had the president's mother Stanley Ann Dunham, who died in 1995 of cancer, baptized.

On June 11, she received the endowment.

The White House had no comment.

The baptism and endowment which appear on FamilySearch.org, the LDS Church's genealogical site, were first reported by John Aravosis at the liberal Americablog.


So, why is Mitt Romney doing these terrible things?

Either way, I have decided to become one of the Undead right after I kick it. That way, I can arise from the ground (shown above) and posthumously baptize Mormons with my urine.


Story via Ben Smith

Another Gay Zombie Movie

Otto.

Gay Zombies

Ever wondered what Pat Robertson and James Dobson"s nightmares were like?

A Tale Of Two Fundies

Those zombie who smile too much and pollute your door knob with prayer mailers/VBS coupons? Here's further evidence you should avoid eye contact with them.

Burning flaming crosses in children's arms.

and

Tying your son to a tree and leaving him for dead.

Zombie Strippers Write-up

From Cinematical:

Sure, it claims to be based loosely on Eugène Ionesco's classic absurdist play Rhinoceros and, sure, it features allusions to a number of philosophers, including Camus and Sartre, but really it's dumb and silly and a heck of a good time. Particularly if you're anything but sober. And if you're just looking for a grindhouse sort of guilty pleasure to pass the time.

Zombie Strippers opens with a montage that sets the scene: it's sometime in the near future, and Bush has just been reelected to his fourth term. Already, we know this movie will be a complete farce, but the ludicrous exposition continues, explaining that government scientists have developed a virus that allows soldiers in Iraq to continue fighting after they're killed. Yes, these super soldiers are zombies, a minor twist on Joe Dante's anti-Bush short Homecoming, which was one of the more critically celebrated episodes of the cable series Masters of Horror, and which featured Iraq War casualties rising from the dead in order to cast their vote against Bush's reelection.

Well, that plan obviously didn't work, so here the zombies are doing what they're made to do: eat flesh and pole dance.

via boingboing

John McCain Is Older Than Dakota Fanning

And alotta of other things:

Despite a recent promise from Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean not to make Sen. John McCain's age -- he turns 72 in August -- an issue in the presidential campaign, a senior Democratic operative has started a new website designed to draw attention to just that fact.

Called "Younger than McCain", the website is being run by Steve Rosenthal, a former political director at the AFL-CIO and executive director of America Coming Together, a massive soft money effort organized around the 2004 presidential race. Rosenthal is now a partner in The Organizing Group.

The current content amounts to a 90-second video listing the things younger than McCain -- a list that includes the Golden Gate Bridge, plutonium, Coke in a can and Velcro among many, many other things.

via WaPo

How To Battle Zombie Hordes

From Wired:

It is widely accepted that the best way to stop a zombie is by destroying its brain with a bullet to the head. In practice this is a difficult feat of marksmanship under combat conditions (even the police only manage 25% hits ) so you want to carry as much ammunition as possible. Some readers suggested using the small, lightweight .22LR round, suggesting that this has enough energy not just to penetrate but will "bounce around inside the skull".

...Of course it depends very much on what sort of .22LR ammunition you are using, as there are many varieties in this caliber, ranging from subsonic heavy bullets to smaller "hyper-velocity" rounds and they all have different properties. But it's worth remembering that .22LR had not been adopted as a military cartridge, in spite of the large number of conscripts out there using the 'spray and pray' technique, as it is considered more useful against small animals than humans. That's got to raise questions about its use as a zombie-stopper.