Hey Cindy, Show Us Your Tits!!!

Well, WALNUTS! made it to the Buffalo Chip hootenanny. Once there, he got so wrapped up in the fun of it all that this happened:

Indeed, McCain felt so comfortable at the event that he even volunteered his wife for the rally’s traditional beauty pageant, an infamously debauched event that’s been known to feature topless women.

“I encouraged Cindy to compete,” McCain said to cheers. “I told her with a little luck she could be the only woman ever to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.”

After the event, WALNUTS! punched her in the throat and called her a cunt.

John McCain To Find Younger, Sluttier Wife

Why does John McCain hate women?

At an event called the Buffalo Chip held in South Dakota, John McCain will share the stage with a topless women and Kid Rock:

On Sunday, the McCain campaign announced that the Senator will participate in the Sturgis Rally 2008 at Buffalo Chip in South Dakota, an annual tribute to American veterans. The event is up the Arizona Republican's wheelhouse, attracting thousands of active duty and former servicemen, many who have a natural affinity towards the Senator.

But it is hard not to notice the evocative, non-political sideshows that will literally surround McCain's speech. As the presumptive nominee takes the stage, the "Ringin' Wet & Wild" women's wrestling event will be taking place on the main amphitheater. Two hours before then, the "Miss Buffalo Chip Beauty Pageant - Bikinis on the Beach" will be staged at a different venue. That affair is described by ESPN's Jim Caple as "essentially a topless beauty pageant. And occasionally bottomless, too."

"During a drenching rain Wednesday night, the contest broke up into smaller groups and one woman wound up dancing naked on a bar top. Her boyfriend/husband saw her and angrily dragged her away as she struggled to put her pants back on and muttered something about how, "It's only this one week a year.""

It Returns

That scary little Hilltard hobbit is back.

Why won't someone call Animal Control?

via OMG

Zombie Strippers Write-up

From Cinematical:

Sure, it claims to be based loosely on Eugène Ionesco's classic absurdist play Rhinoceros and, sure, it features allusions to a number of philosophers, including Camus and Sartre, but really it's dumb and silly and a heck of a good time. Particularly if you're anything but sober. And if you're just looking for a grindhouse sort of guilty pleasure to pass the time.

Zombie Strippers opens with a montage that sets the scene: it's sometime in the near future, and Bush has just been reelected to his fourth term. Already, we know this movie will be a complete farce, but the ludicrous exposition continues, explaining that government scientists have developed a virus that allows soldiers in Iraq to continue fighting after they're killed. Yes, these super soldiers are zombies, a minor twist on Joe Dante's anti-Bush short Homecoming, which was one of the more critically celebrated episodes of the cable series Masters of Horror, and which featured Iraq War casualties rising from the dead in order to cast their vote against Bush's reelection.

Well, that plan obviously didn't work, so here the zombies are doing what they're made to do: eat flesh and pole dance.

via boingboing

Flame Up

This whole Danny/David/everyoneonidolisgay thing is becoming quite the popular story:

Over the years, however, "Idol" has devoted plenty of screentime to participants' personal lives, ranging from asking intimate questions of the contestants (this week it's "What was your most embarrassing moment?") to aiming the camera at their sobbing significant others in the audience, to airing fully edited segments about their backgrounds.

"The show hasn't seemed very conducive or gay friendly to contestants coming out," says Michael Jensen, editor of AfterElton.com, a Web site about gay and bisexual men in entertainment and the media. "Simon and Randy have not hesitated to mock effeminate contestants and crack the occasional gay joke. It has not communicated to contestants that it would be a good place to come out."



...This week, a video of flamboyant current semifinalist Danny Noriega lashing out against Santa Claus appeared on MySpace and was posted on several blogs. Another video of Noriega singing Aretha Franklin's "Chain of Fools" and rapping about being gay — all while wearing a do-rag — was also posted on YouTube.

"Yeah, I'm gay," raps Noriega in the video. "But you eat hay for dinner, 'cause you look like a horse ... ."




via AP

UPDATE: brickbat Also Endorses the Stripper

In keeping with the tradition of constantly changing our position on American Idol, we at brickbat would like to endorse current Idol contestant / former professional teabagger David Hernandez. Who doesn't like strippers?

"American Idol" contestant David Hernandez once entertained audiences by removing his clothes instead of singing tunes, a manager at a male strip club in Phoenix told The Associated Press.

The 24-year-old finalist from Glendale, Ariz., once worked as a stripper at Dick's Cabaret, appearing fully nude and performing lap dances for the club's "mostly male" clientele, club manager Gordy Bryan said Monday.

"He had the look and the type that people like, so he made pretty good money here," Bryan said.

It's not clear whether a history as a stripper could disqualify Hernandez from the competition. In 2003, finalist Frenchie Davis was dismissed because of her appearance on an adult Web site; but last year, Antonella Barba remained in the competition after racy photos of her surfaced on the Internet.

Vote for the Worst broke this story about 2 weeks ago.

via AP and Vote for the Worst