People really do get gay for Groundhog Day. I watched this bullshit for the first time and Bill Murray didn't even show up.
Fucking waste of time, if you ask me.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Weekend Roundup
Kathleen Willy writes Dear Barry letter
9udy exits race to spend more time with 9/11
Millboy exits race to spend more time with mills...or dudes
I voted. It took one pen stroke, but probably still didn't count
Bill Clinton is a douchebag and should really just stick to porking fat chicks
Clay Aiken is still a huge mo
Depraved
photo via Getty
Whether or not you agree with the war in Iraq, there is an undeniable evil on the streets of Baghdad that we should all be thankful doesn't exist on Main St., USA.
Friday, Al Qaeda strapped explosives to two mentally disabled women and set off an explosion that killed at least 65, wounding 150.
The war may have been a mistake, and maybe even have exacerbated the violence. But, no one should live in a world where the least of us are used as ideological or religious pawns in a malignant bloodbath.
via NY Times
Three Jacksons Have Real Faces......So Far
Follow the link to find some of the first pictures of Michael "I totally didn't play tummy sticks with those boys" Jackson's spawn.
Keep in mind the eldest two are supposedly the result of the once black Jacko and the very very white Debbie Rowe getting it on.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
via Daily Mail
Friday, February 1, 2008
Out of the Mouth of Babes
A student at Ponce De Leon High School is suing the Holmes County School Board for violation of free speech. And catch this:
A heterosexual high school junior sued the Holmes County School Board on Thursday, claiming she was prevented from peacefully supporting gay rights.
Heather Gillman filed a complaint, of which you can read here, after her lesbian cousin complained last September to Principal David Davis about being harassed by other students:
“He explained that Jane Doe should not be gay and she should not tell people she is gay,” Stevenson wrote of Davis. “Defendant Davis also told Jane Doe the ‘gay pride’ was a disgrace to the school.”
...“The School Board has no polices against pro-gay clothing and symbols or anti-gay clothing and symbols,” Young wrote. “What the Board seeks to enforce is a policy whereby nothing is permitted to be worn on a student’s body that may reasonably disrupt and interfere with the educational process of that student or other students.”
After several students were suspended between Sept. 21 and 24 for “expressing their support for the fair treatment of gays and lesbians,” according to the complaint, Gillman wore a rainbow belt and shirt stating “I support gays” to school for three days.
I find it appalling that a government employee, paid by tax dollars of all people, would have the gall to impose personal, and definitley religious, beliefs on the impressionable minds that he was entrusted with.
Mr. Davis, you obviously have no idea the challeneges, trials and tribulations of gay youth. Many kids find solace in the halls of schools all across America from the shame, secrecy, and isolation of hiding homosexuality from parents and relatives. Or even worse, the psychological and physical abuse of parents who do know.
You have no place in the public education arena.
One can only be thankful there are students like Heather who are bridging the gap. Sometimes, they are the only reason why one gay teenager doesn't turn into a statistic.
via NWF Daily News
Britney Spears IS a Laughing Matter. So What?
Britney had a rough week. Boo hoo.
The only thing more tiresome than the media incessantly reminding us of the Looserana crackabortion is "someone" who needs to use the tragedy as a platform for a shitty after school special.
Scratch that. A Panama Shitty after school special. Let's read:
Remember this if you are one of those inclined to visit a web site mocking Spears’ meltdown to bet on whether she survives the year: you probably know someone who is suffering, just not so visibly, and they might not last the year either.
Look, Mike. Funny is funny. Britney Spears, one of the world's most privileged, naive, narcissistic, arrogant, useless pieces of twat is spiraling downward in a self-enduced fall from grace. It is entertaining/tragic/flawless. Stop making it a dead baby.
Oh, and isn't Cazual Conversation's motto "Your chance to comment on local politics"? It's even labeled under Local Government in the blog section of the PCNS.
So get to it. Talk about something substantive. Maybe the CHEIF OF POLICE ORGANIZING A BURGLARY or Ammendemnt 1.
Either way, Nancy Reagan and G.I. Joe pretty much caught me up on the whole drugs are bad thing, mmkay?
via PCNH
Dr. Congressman L. Ron Paultard Might Win Something!!!
And it's a real state. It's not named Thunder Bluff or Darnassus.
Ron Paul may win the state of Maine on Super Tuesday. Let's find out why:
His stop in the state earlier this week also made him the only presidential contender from either party to visit before the caucuses.
"I think that (because) he's paid attention to Maine, he'll be rewarded," R. Kenneth Lindell, Paul's campaign coordinator in Maine, said Thursday.
So, HAZAA for the racist vap spelunking Dr. Congressman L. Ron Paultard!!!
Only 1159 delegates to go.
via AP
OMGEEZ!!! THEY'RE GONNA FIGHT TO THE DEATH...Oh, Wait
Last night, there was a much anticipated one-on-one debate between Kenyan terrorist dude Barack Obama and Emo-Hillary. The MSM was hyping this as a contentious showdown with plenty of bloodletting that would splinter the Dem Party.
Yeh, about that:
Oh. Somewhere after the debate, Chris Matthews locked himself in a bathroom and cried like a little baby.
Listen, I don't like Senator Thundercunt. Can't stand her. But this was really nice to see:
Only one last piece of business to take care of as this cordial debate ends. Barack's got to knock down criticism of the blown-out-of-all-reasonable-proportion State of the Union snub! And so, Obama attempts courtliness, stopping to help Clinton from her chair, enjoying a friendly embrace, and then - just so that silver fox Claire McCaskill doesn't get too jealous - a few platonic pats on the back. Detente!
Barry, ever the gentleman. And this is what one HuffPo commenter had to say:
lindalee
Helping Hillary or any able-bodied woman from a chair is sexist, condescending - and in this case, completely calculated. It was a reminder that she is a woman, thus inferior and weak - and she needs a big strong, superior man to help her navigate. BS! Thus was a political move and women should be offended.
I have often said that kissing and hugging the female politicians is the same thing... INAPPROPRIATE! They are supposed to be equals and shaking hands should be the rule
To which I reply....
via HuffPo
Yeh, about that:
Oh. Somewhere after the debate, Chris Matthews locked himself in a bathroom and cried like a little baby.
Listen, I don't like Senator Thundercunt. Can't stand her. But this was really nice to see:
Only one last piece of business to take care of as this cordial debate ends. Barack's got to knock down criticism of the blown-out-of-all-reasonable-proportion State of the Union snub! And so, Obama attempts courtliness, stopping to help Clinton from her chair, enjoying a friendly embrace, and then - just so that silver fox Claire McCaskill doesn't get too jealous - a few platonic pats on the back. Detente!
Barry, ever the gentleman. And this is what one HuffPo commenter had to say:
lindalee
Helping Hillary or any able-bodied woman from a chair is sexist, condescending - and in this case, completely calculated. It was a reminder that she is a woman, thus inferior and weak - and she needs a big strong, superior man to help her navigate. BS! Thus was a political move and women should be offended.
I have often said that kissing and hugging the female politicians is the same thing... INAPPROPRIATE! They are supposed to be equals and shaking hands should be the rule
To which I reply....
via HuffPo
Despicable
A while back, Bill O'Reilly made outrageous remarks denying the existence of homeless veterans:
Activists countered with a petition signed by 17,000 demanding an apology from FOX Noise. This is what occured next:
Shameless.
via BraveNewFilms
Activists countered with a petition signed by 17,000 demanding an apology from FOX Noise. This is what occured next:
Shameless.
via BraveNewFilms
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Emergency Intervention for Oldest Fucked Up Spears
TMZ reports that she went willingly, but there are some really interesting details:
TMZ has learned the plan to get Britney into UCLA Medical Center had been hatched for days -- it was aborted last night, but executed just minutes ago. And we're told the plan was so intricate the FAA had cleared airspace in route to the hospital.
Back at her house, Britney's psychiatrist told her she was going to the hospital. Her response was, "Is something wrong?" She was not resistant. She made hot chocolate and waited before paramedics arrived and placed her on a gurney.
We're told the psychiatrist felt her condition had deteriorated. Britney had not slept since Saturday -- a day and half longer than she stayed up in recent memory.
The reason she's at UCLA is her new treating psychiatrist practices out of that medical center.
via TMZ
Kathleen Willy and Ghost Cat Warn Barry
Kathleen Willy, famous for getting felt up by Ametuer Gynecologist Bill Clinton in 1993 and accusing Hillary of putting a hit out on her cat, is back in the news. This time it's an open letter to Son of a Luo Tribesman, Barack Obama:
My advice: Make sure that your personal and tax records are secure. Also, get a shredder, and use it!
Then, of course, there's the Clintons' secret private-investigator army, which no doubt has already been deployed to counter the threat that you present. I know that army's tactics well. They have threatened my children and my friend's children. They've threatened and killed my pets. They've vandalized my car. They've entered my home and stolen my book manuscript. They've destroyed my peace of mind … just so Hillary Clinton can sleep easier.
Umm......thanks?
via WorldNetDaily
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
W Not Homophobe, Just Plays One on TV
At the SOTU, President Bush passed openly gay Rep. Barney Frank and this occured:
Rep. Barney Frank was on his cell when President Bush passed by and joked, "Tell him I said hello." Later, the openly gay congressman told him it was his boyfriend on the line, reports Matthew Huisman of the Boston University-Washington News Service. "Oh, okay, I hope he appreciates how open-minded I am," Bush said.
via The Reliable Source
1/30...NEVER FORGET
Millboy to Spend More Time with Beard Family
Poor John Edwards. He was white. He was a man. Those factors combined somehow translated into no chance at being President. Welcome to 2008, Millboy.
At 1p EST he'll announce his decision to drop out of the race. This announcement will come from NOLA, where he started his '08 ambitions.
Be prepared for lots of talk about poor people, prescription drugs, evil corporations, and a whole bunch of stuff that homeless Louisianians really don't care about.
I for one will miss Millboy. I'm sure there's a cabinet position, of which you totally don't deserve, in the cards for you.
Godspeed, John Boy.
via HuffPo
SOTU Make Out Party
If you're a GOP Congressman in a very close reelection year, in a moderate district, it's probably not a good idea to try and make out with W.
What I Watched Last Night
I watched the Florida returns on MSNBC. Chris Matthews and Kieth Olbermann reamed Hillz the whole night.
It was heaven.
It was heaven.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Hookhand Monster for Senate
I know it's way wrong to find this funny, but it is. Steve Novick is running for US Senate in Oregon. He's 4'9" and has a steel hook for a left hand.
Following is the baddestass campaign video EVER. See you all in hell:
via novickforsenate.com
Hitch Reams Billary
Best parts:
This calculated willingness to shop on both sides of the street of racial politics was actually analyzed quite shrewdly by Dick Morris, the former consigliere of the gruesome twosome, in conversation with Sean Hannity last week. The Clintons, he thought, would be quite happy to lose big to the "black vote" in South Carolina. It would enable them to signal that they were the ones to stem the flow of the color tide. Morris' host protested that this seemed a touch cynical. Morris jovially assured him that he knew the people he was talking about.
As indeed he did. It was Hillary Clinton who insisted on recalling Morris to the embattled White House, notwithstanding his various disgraces and notwithstanding the fact that he had been the adviser and strategist for Jesse Helms of North Carolina. Why am I saying "notwithstanding"? It was because he had performed so well for Helms, including helping him with the famous "white hands" ad that showed a white man crumpling up a letter that told him of preference for "minorities" in hiring, that Morris was thought of by the then-first lady as such a guru.
And:
I never quite understand how the Clintons' initial exploitation of racism was overlooked the first time around and has been airbrushed from the record since. After falling behind in the New Hampshire primary in 1992, and after being caught lying about the affair with Gennifer Flowers to which he later confessed under oath, Clinton left the campaign trail and flew home to Arkansas to give the maximum publicity to his decision to sign a death warrant for Ricky Ray Rector. Rector was a black inmate on death row who had shot himself in the head after committing a double murder and, instead of dying as a result, had achieved the same effect as a lobotomy would have done. He never understood the charge against him or the sentence. After being served his last meal, he left the pecan pie on the side of the tray, as he told the guards who came to take him to the execution chamber, "for later." Several police and prison-officer witnesses expressed extreme queasiness at this execution of a gravely impaired man, and the prison chaplain, Dennis Pigman, later resigned from the prison service. The whole dismal and cruel and pathetic story was told by Marshall Frady in a long essay in The New Yorker in 1993 and is also recounted in a chapter titled "Chameleon in Black and White" by your humble servant in his book No One Left To Lie To. For now, I just ask you to imagine what would have been said if a Republican governor, falling in the polls, had gone out of his way to execute a mentally incompetent African-American prisoner.
via Christopher Hitchens at Slate
BREAKING NEWS: Clintons are Scam Artists
photo via Paul J. Richards/Scanpix
Great piece from Paul Loeb:
Hillary Clinton is now campaigning in Florida and arguing that the state's delegates should count, along with those from the Michigan primary. This would sound fair enough, unless you know that both Michigan and Florida moved their primaries up after the Democrats agreed that the only states to vote before February 5th ("Super Tuesday") would be Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina (picked because they were relatively small states, representing different demographics). The Democratic Party agreed that votes from the two renegade primaries would not count. The major candidates made an explicit agreement not to campaign in either state. Florida law required that all candidates keep their names on, but Obama and Edwards pulled their names from the Michigan ballot.
Now Clinton is trying to change the rules mid-game. She's arguing that her delegates from Michigan should count after all. (Running essentially unopposed, and with a netroots campaign to get Democrats to cross over and vote for Romney, she still got only 55% of the vote, since 40% voted "uncommitted" and Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel -- and Chris Dodd, who'd already dropped out -- split the remaining 5%.) She's campaigning in Florida with a wink and a nod (doing closed talks and photo ops, not public rallies), while trying to get those delegates to count too. She seems to be banking on the hope that a Florida win, even if only symbolic, will erase Obama's momentum from his massive South Carolina victory.
via Paul Loeb at HuffPo
Florida Election Day V.2.008
Today is an election day in the great State of Florida, so you know what that means. Drum roll please.....................
VOTING GLITCHES!!! HOORAY!!!
Sun-Sentinel reports:
At Kings Point west of Delray Beach, voters faced delays because a poll worker mistakenly shut down the voting machines, Anderson said.
"Someone accidentally turned them off," he said during a visit to H.L. Johnson Elementary School in Royal Palm Beach, where voting was occurring normally.
Also:
At Precinct 5014, a fire station west of Boynton Beach on Jog Road, voters faced a delayed opening of a polling station, according to Adams.
"That is where equipment was delivered to a neighboring precinct yesterday, and so it was late in getting set up," said Adams, noting that the location opened at 8:15 a.m. instead of the normal 7 a.m. opening
Either way, it doesn't matter to me that my vote will be burned after i cast it. I'm a registered Indy, so that means I only get to vote on the totes boring homestead exemption ammendment.
So....whatever. Katherine Harris can stuff her bra / wipe her ass with my ballot. Nothing can stop Kitty from making George W President of the Universe for Eternity.
via Sun-Sentinel
Crazy Tom Cruise Also A Sucker
I have conflicting emotions.
One one hand, I'm still emo over Heath, so anyone trying to take advantage of his death by posing as his father to get free schwag and condolences from movie stars disgusts me.
On the other, when it's Tom Cruise involved, that....that's just fucking gold:
Heath Ledger's father set about the sad task of gathering personal effects today from his son's SoHo apartment.
Kim Ledger, a race-car driver, was spotted today outside the apartment where his son died last week. He arrived in New York on a flight from LA yesterday.
While Ledger visited the apartment, police were still trying to find a twisted impostor pretending to be the grieving father. The imposter cruelly duped superstar Tom Cruise into consoling him over the phone - and nearly got John Travolta to buy him a plane ticket to the United States, sources told The Post.
To which Tommy replied:
via NY Post
SOTU Ice Fest
photos via AP
W's last State of the Union was last night. I didn't get to watch it live, but did watch some highlights. Apparently the best parts were before Bushie started talking about the economies and scary brown people or whatever.
Above is a picture where Hillz reaches across to shake Ted Kennedy's hand, and Barry turns his back. The horror!!!
Below is a picture where, I guess, Barry is scouting the perfect place to drive a stake in her heart.
AP reports:
Rival Democrats Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama came within a foot of one another just before President Bush's State of the Union speech Monday night and managed not to acknowledge each other.
It was quite a feat, given the packed House floor, the customary bear-hugging and jostling among other members. Then a doorkeeper sat the rivals in the same row, only an aisle and four senators between them.
Sen. Edward M. Kennedy was not caught in the middle. The Democrat from the iconic political family had taken sides earlier in the day when he endorsed Obama over Clinton. Kennedy was seated beside Obama, away from Clinton.
CNN elaborates:
When Clinton straightened up, Kennedy quickly reached across Barack Obama to shake Clinton’s hand. She took it. As they spoke, Obama turned away. Then the senators seated to Obama’s right – Ben Nelson and Ken Salazar — both shook Senator Clinton’s hand and talked to her. Instead of doing the same, Obama turned to look at the back of the room. Sen. Claire McCaskill, who has also endorsed Obama and was seated next to Kennedy, reached across the Massachusetts senator — who was still talking to Clinton — and tapped Obama (still twisted toward the back of the room) on the shoulder. McCaskill engaged Obama in conversation until the moment passed.
Another interesting part:
In other handshaking news, Bush shook Obama's hand after the speech but not Clinton's.
Maybe this is why...
via AP & CNN
Monday, January 28, 2008
Super Mormo Heads to Celestial Planet
Gordon Hinckley, the head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, died Sunday. He was 97.
What did Mittens have to say?
"He had a great capacity and great ability to reach out and touch a large number of people with a very personal and human connection," said Romney on Monday morning at a 6:00 a.m. press conference held in front of a Texaco station. "His humanity and gentleness will always be part of the memory we have."
Then he pulled over the car and cried like the little magic pajama ninja sissy he is.
via NY Times / Politico
FWB / Panama Shitty Blue Hair Battle
Today's NWF Daily News and Panama Shitty Herald battle it out to see who can write the sappiest piece on people who are way old.
First up, Panama Shitty scares the shit out of me as they follow their 100 yo dinosaur on a car ride:
Not to be outdone, NWF Daily News interviews a former Air Force commander:
Throughout his 35-year Air Force career, he has been commander of Hickam and Eglin Air Force bases, as well as Payne Field, which is now Cairo International Airport.
He also flew more than 60 kinds of aircraft.
Now, he enjoys playing the stock market. “I find it a very interesting game — not that I do so well on it, but it is interesting.”
No wonder he isn't doing so well. Turns out the poor guy wasn't even on E*Trade, but 2girls1cup.
via NWF Daily News / News Herald
Gay Clay Aiken Doesn't Heart Seks
Macho hipster Clay Aiken, seen above doing his dead on Al Gore impersonation, sat down with New York Magazine to rap about his upcoming stint on Camelot.
In the interview, he claims he never has seks nor the desire to.
"Let's not fool ourselves," he says with his eyebrows up in his arch, queeny way. "The truth is? There are people like Justin Timberlake, males who are cool on radio right now, and then there's me. If I heard myself in a dance club? If I went into a dance club--which I never do--and I heard Clay Aiken come on, I'd roll my eyes and get out. But you know what? I'm fine with being kind of vanilla! It's oh-kye!" In his book, Aiken says that it's not just clubs but also bars he dislikes: "The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex. To me, bars are what hell is like."
The NY interview was even wierder than the Newsweek interview a while back that had this testy exchange:
How did you get into a fight with that lady on a plane?
I'm not going to talk about it.
I was just curious because you've never talked about it.
I did talk about it.
What about the Kelly Ripa thing?
I'm not going to discuss it.
Did you think it was homophobic?
I'm not going to discuss it.
What do you want to talk about?
I think we're done.
Can we talk about something fun?
No, we're done. I thought NEWSWEEK would be more reputable. I'm surprised.
But I think people are curious about it.
It was a year ago. This is NEWSWEEK. It's not the National Enquirer. I'd hate to have a job where I had to be rude to people.
We're just having a conversation.
Change the subject! I'd never take a job where I had to do something that I didn't want to do.
What about all those Ford commercials on "American Idol"?
That wasn't a job.
It was part of your job.
It wasn't a Ford commercial. It was a music video. It was a completely different thing.
I'll change the subject. What do you do for fun?
I watch the news. I read news magazines, but I'm reconsidering that now.
Are you going to watch "Idol"?
I haven't watched since season four. I compare it to high-school football--if it weren't for high school, we wouldn't be successful, but I don't need to keep going to the football games.
So, there you go. Clay is def not gay. And he def doesn't want to have seks of any kind. Atleast not with humans.
He may finger bang his dog every now and then, but that's just 'cause showtunes put him in that kind of mood.
via NY Mag
Jailhouse Seks Via Intertubes
There's actually a sight called Conjugal Harmony that hooks lonely people up with even lonelier inmates looking for
The Conjugal Harmony Difference Imagine having a wife who is always glad to see you, never cheats or stays out all night, and who rocks your ever-loving world twice a month with a pent-up vengeance you haven’t felt since college. Now imagine she never takes your credit cards, doesn’t spend all day talking to her mother, and never knows if you’re out with friends or sleeping around. Now stop imagining and open your eyes to the world of Conjugal Harmony. For almost a decade we’ve connected honest, background cleared, non-prisoners with exciting, passionate, loyal mates on the inside, and with rates so low you might think you’re the crook!
Take this one for example:
via The Stranger
Dipshit Tries to Hire "Silent Assassin" on Craigslist
Some kook in California offered $5000 to anyone willing to kill the wife of a man with whom she had an affair:
Linscott is accused of asking people who responded to her ad to "eradicate a female living in Oroville, California," and she provided additional information on the intended victim, including her physical description, age and employment address. On two separate occasions following the November ad posting, she offered payment of $5,000 upon completion of "the eradication task," according to court documents.
Craigslist: Not just a place to buy vagina couches.
via CBS
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Gold
Money:
The old fatso’s endorsement has been in the works for a few days, it turns out, so it’s not like he’s ‘tarding out just because of that delightful speech last night. Instead, insiders suggest that it was Kennedy’s history of killing young white bitches in his car that made him feel closer to “the black candidate.”
via Jim / Wonkette
ps: Wonkette is just fine. No matter what.
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