BREAKING NEWS: Group Lamer Than Cutters Exists!!!

Teenage girls that embed foreign objects in their skin:

Those unfortunate souls who find cutting insufficiently harmful have taken mutilation to the next level with something doctors call "self-embedding disorder." According to the Chicago Tribune, embedding is when people deliberately insert objects into their flesh, either by forcing them through wounds or by puncturing the flesh with those objects.

"Personnel at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, report extracting 52 foreign objects that 10 teenage girls deliberately embedded in their arms, hands, feet, ankles and necks over the last three years, including needles, staples, wood, stone, glass, pencil lead and a crayon. One patient had inserted 11 objects, including an unfolded metal paper clip more than 6 inches long."

via Jezebel

Grammy Noms

Good to see M.I.A. on for record of the year.

And, no matter what people say, good to see Coldplay get 7 noms.

via NY Times

Washington To Obama

via The Swamp

Today's Paultard Video

The Recession

Janet Napolitano: Bulldogga

While most sites are turning their attention to the possible first openly gay cabinet memeber, there's not a whole lot of attention towards the new head of Homeland Security.

Take this article from the Phoenix New Times from 2003:

If Governor Janet Napolitano isn't a lesbian, I'll eat your hat. She is a walking, one-woman LPGA tour all by herself. It may be the thing I like best about her.

I've known Attorney General Terry Goddard almost from the first moment he entered politics, and I've never known a time when his sexual identity wasn't the object of idle gossip among the ladies who lunch.

As newly elected leaders in a traditionally conservative state, the two of them have put a face on dignity in Arizona.

Governor Napolitano has appeared on the cover of local gay publications holding forth in dewy-eyed interviews.Goddard, the state's top prosecutor, was honorary co-chair of the Arizona Human Rights Fund awards dinner this past June. He shared the limelight at the gay ball with his wife.

...I guess I am supposed to be happy, to consider it progress, that in Arizona we're not stapling faggots to fence posts like they did in Wyoming; well, I expect better, and with leadership, I think the people of this state will accept more.

Not to worry. Ed Rendell is doing his part to out her:

Today's Godtube Moment

Speaks for itself.

via Godtube

Why You Just Shouldn't Care

You live longer:

A Panama City man was treated at a local hospital on Sunday for injuries he suffered after two men beat him with a pipe and brass knuckles when he stopped to help a person whose vehicle appeared to be disabled.

The 19-year-old victim said he saw a vehicle County 22 near Lone Wolf Security that appeared to be disabled. He described it as a primer gray or silver older model Chevrolet or GM single cab, 1970s model. When he went to the passenger side of his vehicle to get jumper cables, two men attacked him, according to a Bay County Sheriff's Office incident report.

Saxby Chambliss: Kid Toucher

Georgia Sen. Saxby Chambliss, or "Big Daddy" as the grandkids call him, released this ad last week wishing the fine crackers of his fair state a Merry Thanksgiving or whatever.

The fucked up part is that he totally feels up his granddaughter, vigorously shaking her breast at the end.

Given the fact that he is a Republican, we can only assume that he will release a Christmas ad thanking his state for aiding in his reelection while deep-throating his grandson.



via Gawker

President Unicorn Introduces National Security Team

Robert Gates: Defense Secretary
Hillary Clinton: Secretary of State.
Gen. James Jones: White House National Security Adviser
Eric Holder: Attorney General
Gov. Janet Napolitano: Secretary of Homeland Security
Susan Rice: UN Ambassador

Gay Penguins Wrecking Families At Chinese Zoo

It seems that a couple of sodomist Spheniscidae are stealing babies from their hetero ilk, replacing the eggs with stones...proving straight animals, no matter what their species, are that stupid:

The two penguins have started placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs, in a bid to hide their theft.

But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracised the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.

A keeper at Polar Land in Harbin, north east China explained that the gay couple had the natural urge to become fathers, despite their sexuality.