Rand Paul Tells Really Boring Story About His Name That Is Probably A Lie

Here is Kentucky's own Senate hopeful Rand Paul, shown above in his asylum-issued duds, talking about the origin of his name.

Paultards are cumming on themselves at the thought of L. Ron Paultard's son being named after that lady who wrote some shitty book.

Well, they are wrong.


via the Youtubes

Florida Pays For Very Expensive Beard

The St. Petersburg Times ran an interesting piece yesterday about the cost of protecting fancy Charlie Crist's wife, Carole, and her two kids.....who do not live with Crist.

From The Juice:


In the past six months, it cost the Florida Department of Law Enforcement $57,000 to protect Carole Crist and her two kids. This is hardly an eye-popping figure, when compared to the $208,000 once spent to protect former first lady Columba Bush.

But the story also points out that Carole Crist's daughters live in New York, while she has a house in Fisher Island, and has only made rare public appearances since marrying Crist last December. Which calls into question whether Crist's new family is much of a family at all.

Rumors have swirled for years that Crist is gay, but mainstream media outlets such as the St. Petersburg Times have largely ignored them. Then along came the documentary Outrage, which exposes closeted Republican politicians who champion anti-gay legislation while secretly trolling for lovers in bars and men's bathrooms.

The film debuted in Florida this month, and Crist plays a prominent role in it. Two sources are interviewed on camera saying they had been at parties where a GOP staffer told friends that he had a physical relationship with Crist. ( New Times' Bob Norman first reported these allegations and more about Crist's mysterious personal life in 2006). Outrage also points out that Crist, a longtime bachelor, only seems to find a girlfriend--or wife--at politically expedient moments.

Crist, of course, has repeately denied having sex with men. But if everyone in the mainstream media believes him, why does one of the most venerable papers in the state need to make a stink about his new wife being MIA?

Jesus Christ There's Another One

Thanks alot, CNN. The day was going along just fine so far.

Meet Rand (Hmmm?) Paul, son of Dr. Congressman Ron Paul and heir to the kingdom of Middle-earth.

He's running for a U.S. Senate seat in Kentucky!!!

Paultards have raised 12k since the announcement.

Here we go again:

Dr. Rand Paul, the son of former Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul, announced Thursday night that he is forming an exploratory committee to to challenge Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning in a Republican primary.

Paul made the announcement Thursday night on MSNBC's Rachel Maddow Show.

Paul had said previously that he would not throw his hat in the ring if Bunning decided to run for reelection. Bunning — seen as one of the weakest Republicans in the 2010 race — has said that he will run again, but Paul said he doesn't necessarily trust that the two-term Kentucky senator will follow through.

"I think the problem is that every time a reporter asks Jim Bunning, are you running, their follow up question is, Jim, are you really running," Paul said. He said Bunning has done some "unusual things" and said, "What I hate to see is a politician who might go all the way up to the deadline and pull their papers out an hour before and then you have one candidate and there's no real primary."

Since his announcement, Paul said he has raised over $12,000, according to his campaign Web site. Paul's conservative views are very similar to those of his father, who garnered a major grassroots following during his run for president last year.


Hobbit HQ can be found here.

First Shot Fired In Florida US Senate Cat Fight

Speeding things along with the whole "Charlie Crist is a big flaming homo who will spend most of his 6 year term in Washington urinals" theme, GOP challenger Marco Rubio released this ad of the orange Florida dandy making out with his long-term boyfriend, Barack Obama.

This is going to be a fabulous race to watch.

Well, Who Can Argue With One More Closeted GOP Senator?

Florida's Governer and reigning George Hamilton impersonator Charlie Crist is running away from his wife for Senate!!!

Oh my, how Lindsay Graham must be getting the vapors at the thought of he and Crist, arm in arm, mincing around D.C., balls deep in it's glorious nightlife.

From Politico:

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) will be announcing Tuesday that he will be running for the Senate, according to a source close to the governor, giving Republicans their most high-profile recruit of the 2010 election cycle.

Crist's decision puts Republicans in strong position to hold onto the seat held by retiring Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) Crist holds high approval ratings among both Republicans and Democrats, according to statewide polling, and has forged a moderate governing style that has won him widespread support.

His decision to run came as little surprise to political observers, with the governor and his allies hinting of his interest in running for Congress over the last several months.



Now (and you knew this was coming) Crist has a Twitter page where he announced his candidacy himself...or maybe with the help of his wife as he's still trying to get this twat thing down:

After thoughtful consideration with my wife Carole, I have decided to run for the U.S. Senate.


We're gonna stay on top of the story. It really ought to be a page turner.

Even Meghan McCain Is Throwing Arlen Under The Bus

As reported by everyone yesterday, Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter has switched from the GOP to the baby-eating gay Communist Democratic Party.

While most of the conservative wingnut reactions were expected; Meghan McCain expressed her disdain as well...albeit with a tad more tact:

Let me be clear: I have a lot of respect for Sen. Specter. But I also can't help but feel like he's let us down. I'm sure this was a long, hard decision. The polls were looking very bleak in his primary contest. His probable opponent was nearly 20 points ahead in many polls. And I understand how he’s been made to feel like an outcast by a small, vocal group. Still, this was an opportunity for Specter to hold his ground and set an example for progressive-minded Republicans trying to overcome one of their biggest obstacles: winning the party primaries.

Of course, this speaks to much larger problem in the GOP. We need to attract more centrist and progressive conservative voters at the primary level, so that level-headed candidates stand a chance. We need courageous Republicans more than ever. And this week, Sen. Specter turned his back. But he wasn’t the only one.

Shortly after the senator's announcement, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele released the following statement:

"Some in the Republican Party are happy about this. I am not. Let’s be honest—Senator Specter didn’t leave the GOP based on principles of any kind. He left to further his personal political interests because he knew that he was going to lose a Republican primary due to his left-wing voting record. Republicans look forward to beating Sen. Specter in 2010, assuming the Democrats don’t do it first."

At its core, there is not much different about what the chairman said and what I’ve written here. Specter's decision was most likely motivated by political reasons. But that's where the similarities end. What's left is the same, tired rhetoric conservatives simply cannot seem to get past. Even someone like Mr. Steele—who was elected to be a more inclusive, open voice for Republicans—can’t escape it.


Why can't they all be like this?

Mexican Child King To Set Sights On Mooslim, Not Diapered Whoremonger

Glitter Graphics



Over the weekend, there was some buzz about Bobby Jindal (a famed Republican exorcist/date rapist) running for David Vitter's Senate seat in 2010.

Not so, says someone:


No, Gov. Bobby Jindal is not going to run for a U.S. senate seat next year, the governor's office said Saturday in response to a television news report.

New York Magazine journalist John Heilemann mentions the rumor about Jindal during an appearance as a panelist this weekend on The Chris Matthews Show, according to the media industry blog TVNewser, which obtained a transcript of the recorded program in advance of the broadcast.

"I was down in New Orleans, and I heard a great rumor that Bobby Jindal, who we were just talking about as a potential presidential candidate for the Republican party, is thinking about giving up the governorship and running for Senate against David Vitter, or for Vitter's seat if Vitter doesn't run," Heilemann said, according to the blog site.

...Jindal spokeswoman Melissa Sellers said there is "no truth" to the rumor and that Jindal is running for re-election as governor in 2011.


Which means, given the fact he is writing a fancy diary about his childhood spent appearing on Indian game shows, Jindal will run for the 2012 Republican presidential candidate slot against various angry white men and one very retarded redneck slut.

GOP Diagnosed With Schizophrenia

Fuck you, liberal media. You say that Republicans don't have a voice. Well...you're wrong.

Just ask the NRSC. They have 41 voices. 41 elderly white voices that quiver on account of the shakes and all.

The Whore May Actually Win

Meet Stormy Daniels. She has sex for a living. She may also run for Senate.

Daniels is mulling the idea of taking David Vitter's seat, who, yes, is the guy who wears diapers and fucks stuffed animals:

A website has launched a petition in an effort to draft adult entertainer Stormy Daniels to run against Louisiana Republican Sen. David Vitter -- and the would-be challenger granted her first interview at an Arizona hotel, where she was performing at a strip club.

"While traveling through Arizona last week, I learned that Daniels would be performing at a Phoenix strip club," muckraking reporter Max Blumenthal wrote Monday. "I tracked the adult-video starlet down at her hotel and filmed the first interview with her since the Draft Stormy initiative began. During our exclusive interview, Daniels homed in on what she called Vitter's hypocrisy, declaring her intention to make his contradictory behavior the centerpiece of her campaign."

...Vitter's phone number was found in the records of the D.C. madam who apparently committed suicide last year and may have led to the resignation of CIA director Porter Goss. Now he could get a sampling of what he may have already sampled: an eyebrow-raising woman who's paid to perform. Only this time, it could be at the ballot box.

..."I personally have no issues with his sexual activities or his sexual preferences or whatever it is that he wants to do. My issues with him -- who am I to judge, right? My issue with him is that he is a hypocrite and call me what you will but you can't call me a hypocrite," Daniels told Blumenthal.

:(

via Gakwer

Today's Caroline Update

Looks like it's all but over:

Caroline Kennedy now almost certainly won't be the new Praetor of New York! The overreaching Bloomberg aide pushing her has given up. Good news for her!

...Mayor Bloomberg's top political aide is pulling back on his lobbying campaign to propel Caroline Kennedy into the U.S. Senate because "it wasn't working," according to sources.

"Everything was backfiring," said one source of the intense behind-the-scenes effort by Deputy Mayor Kevin Sheekey.

"He's not out front any more."

Anyways now the Kennedy thing is surely sunk, as there's no longer any political support for her, just a bit of popular support, mostly among women Democrats, and we know how the party feels about appeasing them. Sorry, Caroline! Back you to go the Upper East Side to sleep in your sheets made of money (probably Euros).


Read the whole thing here.

Best Response To The Whole Sen. Kennedy Thing Yet

From Pareene:

The gross entitlement is the absolute worst part of her bizarre and mismanaged campaign. Of course her competition for the title is a similarly dynastic Cuomo, but he has at least been elected to something, publicly. We understand and are sympathetic to the arguments against career political hacks, but encouraging the Senate to resemble the House of Lords even more is just about the worst impulse possible.

But once again, look at the rest of the shortlist. There's Long Island asshole congressman Steve Israel, whose primary qualifications for the job are his ability to steer a great deal of pork to Long Island and his burning hatred for Jimmy Carter and Palestine. And Kristen Gillibrand, a Blue Dog anti-gun control pro-Bush tax cuts Democrat from a Conservative district. And anti-abortion Nassau County Executive Tom Suozzi. And Brian Higgins, who is from Buffalo. And Caroline Kennedy, the lofty, high-minded rich lady who thinks being appointed a Senator is like performing an act of charity for the nation, or maybe like being on America's co-op board. Also she's beginning to remind us of the woman in the atrocious Lexus ad whose new car is an even better present than her childhood pony.

Honestly the seat should just go to Fran Drescher.

Saxby Chambliss: Kid Toucher

Georgia Sen. Saxby Chambliss, or "Big Daddy" as the grandkids call him, released this ad last week wishing the fine crackers of his fair state a Merry Thanksgiving or whatever.

The fucked up part is that he totally feels up his granddaughter, vigorously shaking her breast at the end.

Given the fact that he is a Republican, we can only assume that he will release a Christmas ad thanking his state for aiding in his reelection while deep-throating his grandson.



via Gawker

Chris Matthews To Grope US Senate

He's preparing for a 2010 run in Penn.

Look out, Olympia Snowe.

GOP Cutting Losses In JUNE

Not a good sign for Republicans:

At yesterday's Christian Science Monitor forum -- the same venue where he upgraded the GOP's goal to a potential three-seat loss -- NRSC chairman John Ensign was asked point-blank if the party was giving up on the open seats they currently hold in Virginia and New Mexico, where the Democratic nominees are way ahead of the Republicans in current polling.

Ensign said bluntly: "You don't waste money on races that don't need it or you can't win."

via TPM