First Shot Fired In Florida US Senate Cat Fight

Speeding things along with the whole "Charlie Crist is a big flaming homo who will spend most of his 6 year term in Washington urinals" theme, GOP challenger Marco Rubio released this ad of the orange Florida dandy making out with his long-term boyfriend, Barack Obama.

This is going to be a fabulous race to watch.

Al Gore/Marsha Blackburn Turn Climate Hearing In To Episode Of The Hills

This past Friday, President of the Earth, Al Gore, waddled up Capitol Hill to speak about drowning polar bears or something. During the hearing, the above exchange occurred.

Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) asked fatty about all the blood money he made off of low-energy light bulbs built by Taiwanese infants, prompting Gore to resurrect his famous sigh and to be all "Bitch, please. You don't know me!"

After all was said and done, Gore boarded a plane back home where he hit on a couple of ladies sitting next to him while sipping a Diet (yeh right) Pepsi:


But when the plane landed and was waiting for an open gate, Gore struck up a conversation with his seatmate, who planned to run a 5K Saturday, and a woman seated across the aisle, who was in town for Saturday’s Country Music ½ Marathon.

“Longer races aren’t good for you,” he said. “I used to run those — hurt my back.”

He said he doesn’t run at all anymore. “I do other things” for exercise, he added. “Have a good race,” he said, as he struggled to pull his bags out of the overhead, apologizing to the passenger seated under the compartment.

You know who else was on this exact same flight on Friday? Gore foe, Rep. Marsha Blackburn, fresh off their aggressive back and forth on The Hill. Blackburn had no entourage and did not get priority boarding treatment. Also, the two were not seen speaking.

Meghan McCain Will Cut A Bitch

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The McCain Blogette empress is getting way more attention these days than her loser father.

Lately she's been giving economic advice on various news orgs while admitting she never took econ in college and using her blog entries at The Daily Beast to pick fights with the eldest (and ugliest) of the Olsen twins.

Now, she's ready to go all Puerto Rican on Laura Ingraham:

John McCain’s daughter Meghan has a message for conservative talk-show host Laura Ingraham: “Kiss my fat ass.”

Last week, Ingraham mocked McCain on her radio show after the daughter of former GOP presidential nominee John McCain urged Republicans to seek compromise with Democrats. Ingraham called McCain “a Valley Girl gone awry” and a “plus-sized model.”

McCain, who writes about politics and her personal life for The Daily Beast, went on The View on Monday to fight back.

“What do young women think when I speak my mind about politics and I want to have a political discussion about the ideological future of the Republican Party, and the answer is, ‘She’s fat, she shouldn’t have an opinion.’ What kind of message are we sending young women?” she asked.

“It infuriates me,” she said. “I’m a political writer on a blog, and all of a sudden I’m too fat to write?”

The View’s conservative co-host, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, called Ingraham’s remarks “a low blow.”

McCain said she felt like Tyra Banks when the model “went on her show in her bathing suit and said, ‘Kiss my fat ass.’”

“That’s what I feel right now,” McCain said. “I’m like, ‘Kiss my fat ass!’”



Ingraham quickly responded to McCain once again on her show, telling McCain that she needs to learn to deal with satire and “teasing.”

“Can I say ‘lighten up,’ or is that offensive too?” Ingraham asked.


via CNN

Catfight!!!

Ashley Judd is soooooooo gonna kick Bible Spice's ass.

Again, Why I Watch MSNBC

Mexico Bill V. Gollum Continues

Here's a clip of Mexico Bill and James Carville going at it on Larry King.

The bearded Messican says the Clintons are souless pod people who act as if America is a monarchy that should just go ahead and crown them Emporer Overlords for Life.

Gollum says that Mexico Bill is fat Chiclet-selling liar who will probably be found dead in a park in a couple of weeks because he supports Hopey.

Then they make out the end.

Rest Easy

Worried about the Dem nomination process turning into the clusterfuck we all know it will? Rest your little head. Harry Reid is on the case:

Question: Do you still think the Democratic race can be resolved before the convention?

Reid: Easy.

Q: How is that?

Reid: It will be done.

Q: It just will?

Reid: Yep.

Q: Magically?

Reid: No, it will be done. I had a conversation with Governor Dean (Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean) today. Things are being done.

And by things are being done, Harry means he and Howard Dean will end up dumping one of their bodies in the Nevada desert.

via Las Vegas Review Journal

Don't Fuck With Drag Queens

Ever.

From Towleroad:

A bus passenger and a very young bigot learn the very important lesson that the last thing you want to do is mess with draq queens Mimi Plastique or Sharolaid.





via Towleroad

What Happens If You Think They're Both Douchebags?

Osama bin Laden dropped his new single yesterday. I'll save you some time: "Death to America...blah blah blah...cartoons hurt my feelings....boohoo...Europe is sooooo on my shitlist."

The interesting part of the tape was when he calls out def-not-a-nazi-Pope:

Osama bin Laden accused Pope Benedict XVI of helping in a "new Crusade" against Islam and warned of a "severe" reaction to European publications of cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad that insulted many Muslims.Bin Laden's audiotape message Wednesday raised concerns al-Qaida was plotting new attacks in Europe.

...The Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi, said bin Laden's accusation that the pope has played a role in a worldwide campaign against Islam is "baseless." Lombardi said the pope has repeatedly criticized the cartoons, first published in some European newspapers in 2006 and republished by Danish papers in February.

...Benedict angered many in the Muslim world in 2006, when he cited a medieval text that characterized some of the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad as "evil and inhuman," particularly "his command to spread by the sword the faith."The pope later said he was "deeply sorry" and stressed the remarks did not reflect his own opinions. He has since led a public campaign for dialogue with Muslims.

Nazi Pope responded by calling OBL an unkempt slut and then returned to a long day's work of covering up for his kid-fucking friends.

via AP

Very Boring Scandal Ends With Some Lady Getting Fired

Yesterday, Fort Walton Beach Finance Director Lisa Absher was fired by a 4-3 City Council vote.

She was accused of being a bitch to City Manager Joyce Shanahan and other folks in the finance office. You can read the catty emails here.

I would have paid more attention to the story had it been the least bit entertaining.

But it didn't involve whores, whore diamonds, terrorist hats, creepy gnomes, or black babies.

All we got was this:




Note to City Council: Try mud wrestling next time.

This story gets one whore diamond.




via NWF Daily News