Al Gore/Marsha Blackburn Turn Climate Hearing In To Episode Of The Hills

This past Friday, President of the Earth, Al Gore, waddled up Capitol Hill to speak about drowning polar bears or something. During the hearing, the above exchange occurred.

Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) asked fatty about all the blood money he made off of low-energy light bulbs built by Taiwanese infants, prompting Gore to resurrect his famous sigh and to be all "Bitch, please. You don't know me!"

After all was said and done, Gore boarded a plane back home where he hit on a couple of ladies sitting next to him while sipping a Diet (yeh right) Pepsi:


But when the plane landed and was waiting for an open gate, Gore struck up a conversation with his seatmate, who planned to run a 5K Saturday, and a woman seated across the aisle, who was in town for Saturday’s Country Music ½ Marathon.

“Longer races aren’t good for you,” he said. “I used to run those — hurt my back.”

He said he doesn’t run at all anymore. “I do other things” for exercise, he added. “Have a good race,” he said, as he struggled to pull his bags out of the overhead, apologizing to the passenger seated under the compartment.

You know who else was on this exact same flight on Friday? Gore foe, Rep. Marsha Blackburn, fresh off their aggressive back and forth on The Hill. Blackburn had no entourage and did not get priority boarding treatment. Also, the two were not seen speaking.

Day 4 Schedule: Mooslim Appreaciation Day

Today features President of Earth Al Gore and future President of our hearts, St. Barack of Obama:


3:00 PM – 5:00 PM (LOCAL)

Live Performances (before gavel)
Yonder Mountain String Band Performance
Jeff Austin, Adam Aijala, Ben Kaufmann, Dave Johnston

Voter Registration Presentation

Remarks
The Honorable Luis Gutierrez
Member of the US House of Representatives, Illinois

David Plouffe
Obama Campaign Manager

Ray Rivera
Obama State Director, Colorado

Call to Order
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
Permanent Chair, Democratic National Convention
Member and Speaker of the US House of Representatives, California

Invocation
Rabbi David Saperstein
Director, Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism – Washington, DC

Presentation of Colors
Disabled American Veterans

Pledge of Allegiance
Shawn Johnson
US Olympic Gymnast

National Anthem
Jennifer Hudson
Academy award-winning singer and Broadway performer

Welcome
Elbra Wedgeworth
President/Chair, Denver Host Committee

Presentation of Resolutions
Democratic National Committee Vice-Chairs
Mark Brewer
The Honorable Linda Chavez-Thompson
The Honorable Mike Honda
The Honorable Lottie Shackelford
Susan Turnbull

Remarks
Honorable Bill Ritter, Jr.
Governor of Colorado

The Honorable Ed Perlmutter
Member of the US House of Representatives, Colorado

The Honorable John Salazar
Member of the US House of Representatives, Colorado

The Honorable Diana DeGette
Member of the US House of Representatives, Colorado

5:00 PM – 6:00 PM (LOCAL)

Video & Remarks
The Honorable Howard Dean
Former Governor of Vermont
Chair of the Democratic Party

Video & Remarks: Tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King
The Honorable John Lewis
Member of the US House of Representatives, Georgia
Rev. Bernice King
Daughter of the late Dr. King
Martin Luther King III
Oldest son of the late Dr. King

Remarks
The Honorable Bill Richardson
Governor, New Mexico

Live Performances
will.i.am
Accompanied by John Legend (piano), Agape Choir, and band

Sheryl Crow
Singer/songwriter

Remarks
Ray Rivera
Obama State Director, Colorado

6:00 PM – 7:00 PM (LOCAL)

Remarks
The Honorable Jan Schakowsky
Member of the US House of Representatives, Illinois

The Honorable Mark Udall
Member of the US House of Representatives, Colorado

The Honorable Tim Kaine
Governor of Virginia

Live Performance
Stevie Wonder

Remarks
The Honorable Al Gore
Former Vice President of the United States

7:00 PM - 8:00 PM (LOCAL)

Remarks
John Kuniholm
Wounded Iraq veteran

Live Performance
Michael McDonald
Singer/songwriter

Remarks
Susan Eisenhower
Granddaughter of President Dwight D. Eisenhower

Retired Generals Tribute
Air Force Maj. Gen. J. Scott Gration (Ret)
Accompanied by additional generals

American Voices Program
Roy Gross
Monica Early
Wes Moore
Janet Lynn Monacco
Nate Fick
Teresa Asenap
Pamela Cash-Roper
Barney Smith

Remarks
The Honorable Dick Durbin
US Senator, Illinois

8:00 PM – 9:00 PM (LOCAL)

Video/Remarks
SENATOR BARACK OBAMA
DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

Benediction
Pastor Joel Hunter
Senior Pastor of Northland in Central Florida

Adjournment
The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
Permanent Chair, Democratic National Convention

Weekend Roundup

James Brian Sliter's dreams of being mayor of Touchytown, Texas came and went.

Now that Fred Thompson has stopped pretending to be POTUS, he can start pretending to be a country lawyer/DA/general. Again.

Bosnian war veteran Hillary Clinton mispoke. And then mispoke again.

What she won't mispeak about is her imaginary crazy pastor.

We should all be in Mexico for Spring Break. Looks like fun.

St. Barack is ninth cousins to Eva Braun.

Mittens is arranging many space wives for the elderly Juan McCain. Hopefully ones that don't like Vicodin.

Someone please let Cankles McGee be President of the Senate Birtday Party Planning Committee or something.

Please don't interrupt President of the Earth Gore while he masturbates to the Discovery Channel.

Please don't interrupt Millboy until he reaches 100 brush strokes.

WALNUTS! is the American President for Americans who love America and all American things.

Nigel Powers was on to something.

People Still Talking About Giving Gore Job He Doesn't Want

Not content with letting President of Earth/Saviour of Baby Seals Al Gore live in peace while saving drowing polar bears, talking heads still float the idea of Gore being the only hope to save the Dem party:

U.S. Rep. Tim Mahoney, whose district includes much of Martin and St. Lucie counties, is hoping he won’t have to attend the Democratic Party national convention in Denver in August.

If he does go, that will mean the Democrats still haven’t decided a nominee for the presidential election. And if neither Sen. Hillary Clinton nor Sen. Barack Obama has clinched the nomination by August, Mahoney says we may see a brokered convention, meaning the nominee could emerge from a negotiated settlement.

“If it (the nomination process) goes into the convention, don’t be surprised if someone different is at the top of the ticket,” Mahoney said.

A compromise candidate could be someone such as former vice president Al Gore, Mahoney said last week during a meeting with this news organization’s editorial board.

If either Clinton or Obama suggested to a deadlocked convention a ticket of Gore-Clinton or Gore-Obama, the Democratic Party would accept it, Mahoney said.

At this point, I think the Dems would accept the mummified corpse of FDR as the nominee.

via TCPalm

The Decider

Former Vice President and Defender of all Penguins Al Gore may also claim the title of mediator of the 2008 Democratic presidential primary. If neither Barack Hussein bin Laden Stalin Obama or Thundercunt has a clear lead in delegates, it may be up to the was/wasn't President himself:

A number of senior Democrats, including Speaker Nancy Pelosi and three candidates who have dropped out of the 2008 race, former Senator John Edwards and Senators Christopher J. Dodd and Joseph R. Biden Jr., have spoken with Mr. Gore in recent days. None have endorsed a candidate, although Ms. Pelosi made comments on Friday that were widely seen as supportive of Mr. Obama when it came to the process the party should use to make its choice of candidate.

...Another close ally of Mr. Gore’s, however, said: “He recognizes the need for a few party elders to stay on the sidelines to ensure, if needed, that the process is fair and honest. It could very likely take a group of senior party people, including Gore, to settle this, but the only way they can settle it is if they stay on the sidelines now.”

So, there you go. The Democrats will decide their nominee not by delegates or even the people. It will be up to the Vancome lady, Millboy, that boring old dude, that boring racist old dude, and Captain Planet.

It's looking good for WALNUTS!

via NY Times