Al Gore/Marsha Blackburn Turn Climate Hearing In To Episode Of The Hills

This past Friday, President of the Earth, Al Gore, waddled up Capitol Hill to speak about drowning polar bears or something. During the hearing, the above exchange occurred.

Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) asked fatty about all the blood money he made off of low-energy light bulbs built by Taiwanese infants, prompting Gore to resurrect his famous sigh and to be all "Bitch, please. You don't know me!"

After all was said and done, Gore boarded a plane back home where he hit on a couple of ladies sitting next to him while sipping a Diet (yeh right) Pepsi:


But when the plane landed and was waiting for an open gate, Gore struck up a conversation with his seatmate, who planned to run a 5K Saturday, and a woman seated across the aisle, who was in town for Saturday’s Country Music ½ Marathon.

“Longer races aren’t good for you,” he said. “I used to run those — hurt my back.”

He said he doesn’t run at all anymore. “I do other things” for exercise, he added. “Have a good race,” he said, as he struggled to pull his bags out of the overhead, apologizing to the passenger seated under the compartment.

You know who else was on this exact same flight on Friday? Gore foe, Rep. Marsha Blackburn, fresh off their aggressive back and forth on The Hill. Blackburn had no entourage and did not get priority boarding treatment. Also, the two were not seen speaking.

Tina Fey Who?

Ted Stevens Says He Didn't Do It

The distinguished eskimo Senator from AK plead not guilty to all that stuff that he actually did do.

After being forced to hand over his passport, Stevens requested that his trial be moved from D.C. to Alaska. This is because he has already brided the assortment of penguins and polar bears that will sit on his jury.

via CNN

It's Coming Right For Us!

From Towleroad:

At the beginning of the month I posted about a lost, starving Polar Bear that had been shot by police in Iceland after it had swam 200 miles from Greenland or the nearest chunk of Arctic ice. They said they were afraid it posed a threat to humans but couldn't wait 24 hours for a "correct tranquilizer" to be flown in. Their excuse was disputed by a local veet who said he could have had the proper tranquilizer flown in in about an hour.

Well, another Polar Bear turned up. They shot and killed it again. What was their excuse this time?

"The chief veterinarian from the Copenhagen zoo had been flown in late Tuesday to help. The police 'tried to get close to (the bear) with our vet, but they did not get close enough to shoot it with the anaesthetiser,' zoo spokesman Bengt Holst told AFP. 'Then the bear started running, so the police were frightened they would lose control. The bear could run very close to the populated area, so they decided to shoot it,' he added. Holst said he believed Icelandic authorities had made the right decision. 'It was a security problem,' he said."

Fat Al Gore Bravely Endorses Obama After Everyone Else

The President of Earth has decided to speak out (with a mouth full of Ruffles) and endorse Hope™. Let's read his greasy blog:

A few hours from now I will step on stage in Detroit, Michigan to announce my support for Senator Barack Obama. From now through Election Day, I intend to do whatever I can to make sure he is elected President of the United States.


Over the next four years, we are going to face many difficult challenges -- including bringing our troops home from Iraq, fixing our economy, and solving the climate crisis. Barack Obama is clearly the candidate best able to solve these problems and bring change to America.

Fuck You, Polar Bears

It's Earth Hour here, and I just turned on more lights.

People Still Talking About Giving Gore Job He Doesn't Want

Not content with letting President of Earth/Saviour of Baby Seals Al Gore live in peace while saving drowing polar bears, talking heads still float the idea of Gore being the only hope to save the Dem party:

U.S. Rep. Tim Mahoney, whose district includes much of Martin and St. Lucie counties, is hoping he won’t have to attend the Democratic Party national convention in Denver in August.

If he does go, that will mean the Democrats still haven’t decided a nominee for the presidential election. And if neither Sen. Hillary Clinton nor Sen. Barack Obama has clinched the nomination by August, Mahoney says we may see a brokered convention, meaning the nominee could emerge from a negotiated settlement.

“If it (the nomination process) goes into the convention, don’t be surprised if someone different is at the top of the ticket,” Mahoney said.

A compromise candidate could be someone such as former vice president Al Gore, Mahoney said last week during a meeting with this news organization’s editorial board.

If either Clinton or Obama suggested to a deadlocked convention a ticket of Gore-Clinton or Gore-Obama, the Democratic Party would accept it, Mahoney said.

At this point, I think the Dems would accept the mummified corpse of FDR as the nominee.

via TCPalm