Gay Penguins Wrecking Families At Chinese Zoo

It seems that a couple of sodomist Spheniscidae are stealing babies from their hetero ilk, replacing the eggs with stones...proving straight animals, no matter what their species, are that stupid:

The two penguins have started placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs, in a bid to hide their theft.

But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracised the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.

A keeper at Polar Land in Harbin, north east China explained that the gay couple had the natural urge to become fathers, despite their sexuality.

WALNUTS! Chooses A Lady Because He's The Only Republican Left That Doesn't Fuck Men

This oughta be good.

Ted Stevens Says He Didn't Do It

The distinguished eskimo Senator from AK plead not guilty to all that stuff that he actually did do.

After being forced to hand over his passport, Stevens requested that his trial be moved from D.C. to Alaska. This is because he has already brided the assortment of penguins and polar bears that will sit on his jury.

via CNN

Fat Al Gore Bravely Endorses Obama After Everyone Else

The President of Earth has decided to speak out (with a mouth full of Ruffles) and endorse Hope™. Let's read his greasy blog:

A few hours from now I will step on stage in Detroit, Michigan to announce my support for Senator Barack Obama. From now through Election Day, I intend to do whatever I can to make sure he is elected President of the United States.


Over the next four years, we are going to face many difficult challenges -- including bringing our troops home from Iraq, fixing our economy, and solving the climate crisis. Barack Obama is clearly the candidate best able to solve these problems and bring change to America.

People Still Talking About Giving Gore Job He Doesn't Want

Not content with letting President of Earth/Saviour of Baby Seals Al Gore live in peace while saving drowing polar bears, talking heads still float the idea of Gore being the only hope to save the Dem party:

U.S. Rep. Tim Mahoney, whose district includes much of Martin and St. Lucie counties, is hoping he won’t have to attend the Democratic Party national convention in Denver in August.

If he does go, that will mean the Democrats still haven’t decided a nominee for the presidential election. And if neither Sen. Hillary Clinton nor Sen. Barack Obama has clinched the nomination by August, Mahoney says we may see a brokered convention, meaning the nominee could emerge from a negotiated settlement.

“If it (the nomination process) goes into the convention, don’t be surprised if someone different is at the top of the ticket,” Mahoney said.

A compromise candidate could be someone such as former vice president Al Gore, Mahoney said last week during a meeting with this news organization’s editorial board.

If either Clinton or Obama suggested to a deadlocked convention a ticket of Gore-Clinton or Gore-Obama, the Democratic Party would accept it, Mahoney said.

At this point, I think the Dems would accept the mummified corpse of FDR as the nominee.

via TCPalm