brickbat Returns From Longest Vacation In Recorded History

Jingle jangle and salutations!

We have made it back to this series of tubes after an extended sabbatical to clear our minds of nonsense, such as healthcare, recessions, racist wingnuts, paultards, truthers, and other various types of nonsense.

Now, it's back to the usual. Enjoy (or not) our triumphant return.

Fun With The Internets

We chanced upon this site and it ranks right up there with Cake Wrecks, The "Blog of "Unnecessary" quotation marks, and Awkward Family Photos.

Ladies and Gents....we bring you Awkward Boners.

This gem is entitles "Bedboner".

Alaskan Snowcunt Officially A Twatterer

Isn't this quaint. Cheerleader for Christ, Sarah Palin, has started a Twitter page.

From The Telegraph:

Perhaps this is a tipping point for Twitter - conservative icon Governor Sarah Palin is now tweeting. Under the moniker @AKGovSarahPalin (not very snappy but there are, by my reckoning, already 32 Sarah Palin twitter accounts) the 2008 Republican vice-presidential candidate has plunged into the social networking maelstrom.

...Interestingly, among the 36 people she's following are GOP 2012 nomination rivals (and fellow governors) Bobby Jindal and Tim Pawlenty and - from the media - Drudge (her first follow), Fox duo Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly, NBC's David Gregory and ABC's George Stephanopoulos.


It only took her second twat (the real mother of Trig) to piss and moan about the librul media:

AP gravely misquoted my staff, saying I 'changed my mind' on the stimulus package. For accurate info, go to http://tinyurl.com/c7v84t.
3:13 PM Apr 29th from web

This should be fun.


via Sarah Palin's twat

Ted Stevens Says He Didn't Do It

The distinguished eskimo Senator from AK plead not guilty to all that stuff that he actually did do.

After being forced to hand over his passport, Stevens requested that his trial be moved from D.C. to Alaska. This is because he has already brided the assortment of penguins and polar bears that will sit on his jury.

via CNN

Welcome to the Internets, Scott Peterson!

That guy who's sitting on death row for killing his wife and unborn child now joins millions of other agoraphobes in the spirit of blogging:

...an organization called Canadian Coalition Against the Death Penalty (CCADP), and they're allowing Peterson roundabout access to the Internet by maintaining a web site for him in which he can communicate his thoughts on his "wrongful conviction" and respond to the support he's received while appealing his sentence. The site also links to the page Peterson's family maintains on his appeal and is chock full of pictures of the former couple. The postings, though infrequent, include his thoughts about a scholarship fund set up in Laci's name and he even refers to Sharon Rocha as "my mother-in-law"—present tense.


As you would imgaine, the family of Laci is not cool with this at all. They were on Larry King last night.

via Radar

BREAKING NEWS: Old People Don't Know How To Use Computers

Summary: The elderly Juan McCain is scared and confused by our technologies, while his wife can order a Peruvian AIDS baby and an assload of pills on her Blackberry in under 30 seconds.

Exploring Our Series Of Tubes

Here's a couple of hilarious sites. One intentional. One, not so much.

First, there's HILLARY IS MOM JEANS. Rather than explain, here's a few examples:

HILLARY REVEALED YOUR IDENTITY TO ROBERT NOVAK

HILLARY HAS A BUNCH OF UNICORN STUFF IN HER BEDROOM

HILLARY THINKS KATHY GRIFFIN IS HILARIOUS

HILLARY CLIPS HER CELL PHONE TO HER BELT

HILLARY POPS HER COLLAR

Best part is, you can submit your own.


Then, there's i am neurotic. People write in about how fucked up they are. Take this:

knock knock knock

When falling asleep, if I have a bad thought about someone I love being murdered or getting raped or something else dreadful, I have to knock at least three times on wood. The knock must be audible.

Again, you can submit your own.

MTV's Fun New Game

From NY Times:

Hot or Not, a Web site where people submit photographs of themselves so that strangers can rate how attractive they are on a scale of 1 to 10, has spawned many imitators (plus a fair number of critics who view it as a sign of the end of civilization as we know it).

One new spinoff, Pos or Not, has a serious purpose (tasteful or not). The site, www.posornot.com, introduced in late April, is an H.I.V. education effort disguised as a game. It shows photographs and brief biographies of men and women ages 21 to 30, and asks visitors to decide whether each is H.I.V. positive or negative. The message is that you can’t judge someone’s virus status by looks, occupation or taste in music.

Sounds like a blast.

SPOILER ALERT:

The guy at the top is pos.

Generational Warfare

A Generation X'er is pretty pissed at the Millennials and writes this call to arms, using a months old story to illustrate:

A twentysomething intern, Kevin secured a job at Boston's Anglo Irish Bank. Using the guise of a family emergency, Kevin decided to take a day off and thus sent the following e-mail to his bosses, Paul and Jill:

Paul/Jill,

I just wanted to let you know that I will not be able to come into work tomorrow. Something came up at home and I had to go to New York this morning for the next couple of days. I apologize for the delayed notice.

Kind regards,
Kevin

Kevin's boss, Paul Davis, apparently decided to do a little a bit of detective work and found an incriminating photo of Kevin on Facebook. He discovered that Kevin wasn't in New York attending to an unexpected family crisis, but at a Halloween party in Worcester, Massachusetts.

Mr. Davis' response was swift and, well, perfect. Attaching Kevin's incriminating photo to an e-mail and BCCing the entire company, he responded:

Kevin,

Thanks for letting us know—hope everything is ok in New York. (cool wand)

Cheers,
PCD

In Kevin's defense, most of us have lied to our bosses and played hooky. Still, I found myself hoping that his boss, Mr. Davis, fired him with a pointed "and don't let the door hit your wand on the way out!" for good measure. But before you dismiss me as cruel, let me explain my reasons.

My lack of empathy for Kevin comes from my sense of loyalty to the generation born between the years of 1961 and 1981. Generation X. Kevin is part of the generation born between 1982 and 2002—a Millennial, formerly known as Generation Y. (They got renamed after whining too much.) They're younger. They're healthier. They got to do anal in high school. They think updating a spreadsheet while simultaneously posting to a Twitter account about the latest gossip on perezhilton.com is an essential corporate skill. And, like Kevin, they're always doing stupid shit, but rarely getting called on it.

Scariest Site On The Intertubes

Besides Ron Paul Forum.

Montana Meth Project will sketch you the fuck out:

The Project's print advertising, featured in high school newspapers and on billboards across Montana, reveal the severe physical and psychological impacts associated with Meth use. Our newest campaign shows the devastating impact Meth has on the friends and family of Meth users.

Creepy.

UPDATE:

They're on the Youtubes.

And I stopped eating my pizza.

Facebook In Reality

Picking Apart Logical Fallacies

From Wired:

Do you ever get into arguments on the internet? If not, get a refund from your ISP, because you're not getting your money's worth.

The latest Alt Text is a handy guide to logical fallacies that will aid you in any argument, ranging from election debates to important stuff like whether Optimus Prime could beat up the Terminator.

These rhetorical techniques won't actually help you win, mind you, but they will allow you to keep changing the subject until your opponent gives up. And on the web, that's just as good!

Let's All Laugh About Anderson Cooper

Or...do what I do and laugh about people obsessed with laughing at Anderson Cooper.

Here's a delightful post from some dickhole's LiVEJOURNAL page where he uses annoying words like "the gay mafia", and basically all the other words that are on the page:

Everyone knows Anderson Cooper is gay, but no one knows who he dated until now.

Our friends in the gay mafia here in Hollywood (Yes, it’s real) recently introduced us to the very hot JD Orondez, Anderson Cooper’s ex boyfriend at a party!!! JD’s 22,educated, and is a MARINE MAMMAL TRAINER/BARTENEDER/STUDENT. Isn’t he adorable? Plus, JD’s totally “take home to mother” material.

We like to consider ourselves on the outskirts of the gay mafia, but after this posting we may have to go into hiding in our walk in closet. The only rule about the gay mafia….is that you do not talk about the gay mafia or it’s members.

The two dated for about two months in NYC before Anderson gave him the boot. JD’s now roaming around Los Angeles, soaking up the sun. But don’t ask him about his Anderson affair, JD is known to be mum on the details.

(annyoying bold emphasis theirs)

The aspiring Woodward even goes to the journalistic lengths of copying and pasting everything on the poor guy's Myspace page.

So, Ha Ha Anderson Cooper and Anderson Cooper's alleged ex-bf.

via some dickhole's LiJOURNAL page

Iranian Blogosphere

From Harvard:

Given the repressive political and media environment, and high profile arrests and harassment of bloggers, one might not expect to find much political contestation in the blogosphere. However, we identified a subset of the secular/reformist pole focused intently on politics and current affairs and comprised mainly of bloggers living inside Iran, which is linked in contentious dialog with the conservative political sub-cluster. Surprisingly, a minority of bloggers in the secular/reformist pole appear to blog anonymously, even in the more politically-oriented part of it; instead, it is more common for bloggers in the religious/conservative pole to blog anonymously.

via Berkman Center for Internet & Society

Serious Website Makes Me Giggle At Picture I Would Otherwise Be Ignunt Of

From Ban Shirley Q. Liquor:

University of Alabama student Elizabeth Dennis recently changed her Facebook profile image from Piglet, a Winnie the Pooh character, that was in blackface with one hand holding a watermelon and the other holding a bucket of KFC Fried Chicken, with the word “Niglet” underneath. After it got around that the photo was up she posted a new pic and added the confession “the profile pic was a joke ... Sorry if I offended.”

But after looking at all of the photos that she posted of herself in blackface, I am even more disappointed that she was apparently supported by other brothas and sistas to do what she did.

The other pictures are pretty stupid, and admittidly the above pic is as well.

But if something is truly offensive and you don't want other people to see it, then don't post it on this series of tubes.

PS: This is what the site is dedicated to banning:



via Ban Shirley Q. Liquor

The Election Has Gone Too Far

Fucking extended primaries are destroying America:

Fitna

LiveLeak has removed the video from their site:

Following threats to our staff of a very serious nature, and some ill informed reports from certain corners of the British media that could directly lead to the harm of some of our staff, Liveleak.com has been left with no other choice but to remove Fitna from our servers.

This is a sad day for freedom of speech on the net but we have to place the safety and well being of our staff above all else. We would like to thank the thousands of people, from all backgrounds and religions, who gave us their support. They realised LiveLeak.com is a vehicle for many opinions and not just for the support of one.

Perhaps there is still hope that this situation may produce a discussion that could benefit and educate all of us as to how we can accept one anothers culture.

We stood for what we believe in, the ability to be heard, but in the end the price was too high



via lgf

We Are Clinton

via Sully

Interwebs Addiction

From Guardian:

Like other addicts, users experience cravings, urges, withdrawal and tolerance, requiring more and better equipment and software, or more and more hours online, according to D. Jerald Block, a psychiatrist at the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland. Dr Block says people can lose all track of time or neglect "basic drives," like eating or sleeping. Relapse rates are high, he writes, and some people may need psychoactive medications or hospitalization.

via Guardian

Kos to Hilltards: STFU

Hilltard bloggers at the Daily Kos (a site you will never find me reading) are going on a strike. They're claiming bias and abuse at the site just because of their support the evil Lesbot Thundercunt.

Kos fires back:


Meanwhile, Clinton and her shrinking band of paranoid holdouts wail and scream about all those evil people who have "turned" on Clinton and are no longer "honest power brokers" or "respectable voices" or whatnot, wearing blinders to reality, talking about silly little "strikes" when in reality, Clinton is planning a far more drastic, destructive and dehabilitating civil war.

People like me have two choices -- look the other way while Clinton attempts to ignite her civil war, or fight back now, before we cross that dangerous line. Honestly, it wasn't a difficult choice. And it's clear, looking at where the super delegates, most bloggers, and people like Olbermann are lining up, that the mainstream of the progressive movement is making the same choice.

And the more super delegates see what is happening, and what Clinton has in store, the more imperative it is that they line up behind Obama and put an end to it before it's too late.

via Daily Kos