Westboro Not Going Anywhere According To Crazy Rant On Site

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About a month ago, Towleroad speculated about a Westboro Baptist Church mass suicide because of a cryptic blog entry that went a little something like this:

We are particularly urgent about it, because the time is shortly to come when we will grant you your wicked wish, Doomed america! Your smart-assed pundits and foul-mouthed politicians have for years told us to pack up and leave if we don’t like this filthy little cancerous boil on the butt of the earth. You all think you’re so clever that you can come up with such cutesy little quips. You’re collectively so Bible dumb that you don’t know what you’re saying. So let me help you out.

...We gotta go, peeps! We gotta go! And when we do, it’s time for this filthy nation to receive of all the plagues that your Creator has promised. The reason there is such urgency in those words … such passion in the irresistible call from our Saviour, Husband, and Friend … is because when that time comes for this rebellious nation – which is spiritually called Babylon and has become literally Babylon by the inexplicable and forcible snatching of that Mesopotamian land where ancient Babylon sat – it is going to be very fast and very violent, such that all mankind is utterly and simply amazed.


Alas, this is not the case. Atleast according to Westboro's blog section in an email answering session:

A few web sites are claiming you guys are going to do a mass suicide because of the April 4 field report. What do you think about waht they’re saying? Here are some excerpts:

From Gossip Boy:
A cryptic blog post on the Westboro Baptist Churchs website hints that their mission is coming to an end, as full darkness invades America, and they are ready to end their fight and depart. Generally, when cults start talking this way, someone is in the kitchen mixing up Kool Aid.

From Towleroad:
Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church recently left a blog post that has some wondering if the extremist group is planning a mass suicide (a la Jonestown). A little excerpt from the post (link goes to WBC blog) written in their typical hag-alect:

Kansas Watch:
But in today’s posting on Fred Phelps’ and family’s blog, they kind of sound like they are planning to leave this mortal coil.

Justin


And the answer:


I say first: This is wishful thinking and standard slander. It means nothing.

I say second: I am late in responding because I was at K-State picketing General David Patraeus. If you check out our schedule of coming pickets (in less than 12 hours I hit the road for Hartford, CT and Cambridge/Boston, MA) - that schedule is almost enough to make me tired just looking at it. My point being - WHY NOW would anyone think that we would do anything as disobedient and lawless as murder?

I say third: That excellent field report says nothing different than we have been telling you for a long time. Today our exit out of this country feels closer than it has in the past. The truth of the matter is that GOD, IN HIS WORD, says he gave those examples in the scriptures FOR OUR EXAMPLE and FOR OUR LEARNING and FOR OUR COMFORT, it says, upon whom the ends of the world have come. There is a VAST body of scripture that speaks to these last hours of the last days of all. So even as Noah preached to the world and THEN GOT ON THE ARK JUST BEFORE THEIR DESTRUCTION CAME, the Doomed Ante-diluvium world and even as LOT preached to and then LEFT Doomed Sodom et al, and their destruction came and likewise when Moses and the Children of Israel PREACHED TO and then LEFT Egypt at which point God destroyed the MOST POWERFUL ARMY in the world in that day (from which Egypt NEVER recovered), etc. etc., we preach to Doomed america. Now, there are three things we hear from brutish Doomed americans, and in this order, to wit: 1. God loves everyone; 2. There is NO God and 3. If you don’t like america . . . if america is Doomed . . . if you think we are this or that, etc. . . . THAN GET THE F#@& OUT!!

SWEET!

...That 144,000 Jews are going to put away the lies of the house of Israel about Christ and who he is and so forth, and they are going to serve God in truth, and WE are going to help them! YAY!! Stay tuned Justin! The day is coming when you will see the flip of what Paul did. He told those stiff-necked and rebellious Jews that he was DONE with them, that God had sent him now to the Gentiles to call out a people for his name, and at Romans 11, Paul makes it CRYSTAL clear that when the fullness of the Gentiles be come in, that God is going to return to the Jews and save a remnant of them and that day is fast approaching! I cannot tell you how thankful I will be when we are through talking to this nation of truly STUPID rebels against God (and you have NO cause!).

We have a most glorious new task, and it is going to be amazing. There are going to be two things that those Jews are going to do in response to this call that we are going to put forth now, WITH a vengeance (you know we will ) and so we must look to the scriptures to see it. Because those Jews are likened by the prophet Jeremiah to Figs - REALLY GOOD figs or REALLY, REALLY BAD or EVIL figs - SO BAD AND EVIL that you cannot eat them or you will die! Plus - the beat the crap out of Paul and at one point they left him for dead and HELLO, THEY KILLED CHRIST!! Our personal experience with them is that they are mean and vicious and violent!!

...Now I must ask you - WHY IN THIS WORLD would we consider anything short of running to this battle as FAST as our little legs will carry us!!

As for that cryptic lie - YIKES!! We are about as plain spoken as words can be - GOD HATES FAGS AND THEIR ENABLERS . . . . . . . . . . . . .THEREFORE . . . . . . . . . . . . . america IS DOOMED!!! YAY!!!

Thanks!


Wow. Just.....wow.

We Assume The History Books In The District Need Updating

Ah, prom season.

It's the time of year when doucheteens across the country max out their parents' credit cards to rent snazzy outfits and fancy limousines to attend an overpriced party in their HS gym to bump and grind to the rap music, followed by bumping and grinding in a cheap motel. That is America.

Montgomery County, GA has a very special kind of prom. The kind where white and black folk are segregated. Hoorayz for 2009!!!

From NY Times:


Waiting out the final weeks of the school year, they begin rightfully to revel in the shared thrill of moving on. It is no different in south-central Georgia’s Montgomery County, made up of a few small towns set between fields of wire grass and sweet onion. The music is turned up. Homework languishes. The future looms large. But for the 54 students in the class of 2009 at Montgomery County High School, so, too, does the past. On May 1 — a balmy Friday evening — the white students held their senior prom. And the following night — a balmy Saturday — the black students had theirs.

...Racially segregated proms have been held in Montgomery County — where about two-thirds of the population is white — almost every year since its schools were integrated in 1971. Such proms are, by many accounts, longstanding traditions in towns across the rural South, though in recent years a number of communities have successfully pushed for change.

...Students of both races say that interracial friendships are common at Montgomery County High School. Black and white students also date one another, though often out of sight of judgmental parents. “Most of the students do want to have a prom together,” says Terra Fountain, a white 18-year-old who graduated from Montgomery County High School last year and is now living with her black boyfriend. “But it’s the white parents who say no. … They’re like, if you’re going with the black people, I’m not going to pay for it.”

“It’s awkward,” acknowledges JonPaul Edge, a senior who is white. “I have as many black friends as I do white friends. We do everything else together. We hang out. We play sports together. We go to class together. I don’t think anybody at our school is racist.” Trying to explain the continued existence of segregated proms, Edge falls back on the same reasoning offered by a number of white students and their parents. “It’s how it’s always been,” he says. “It’s just a tradition.”


The whole piece is a great read, but these few lines really stand out:


Earlier this month, on the Friday night of the white prom, Kera Nobles, a senior who is black, and six of her black classmates drove over to the local community center where it was being held. Standing amid a crowd of about 80 parents, siblings and grandparents, they snapped pictures and whooped appreciatively as their white friends — blow-dried, boutonniered and glittering in a way that only high-school seniors can — did their “senior walk,” parading in elegant pairs into the prom. “We got stared at a little, being there,” said one black student, “but it wasn’t too bad.”

After the last couple were announced, after they watched the white people’s father-daughter dance and then, along with the other bystanders, were ushered by chaperones out the door, Kera and her friends piled into a nearby KFC to eat. Whatever elation they felt for their dressed-up classmates was quickly wearing off.


We immediately thought of this:




Story via Jesus' General (MUST read piece here as well)

Just Go Here

Seriously.

Andrew Sullivan's Sci Fi Torture Fetish Revealed!!!!

Sully loves to talk about the torture of brown people's genitals and whatnot.

Basically, The Daily Dish is turning in to some kind of gay S&M fantasy web magazine or something.

Yesterday's post, Star Trek and Torture, took it to a whole new level:

The new movie has a stock torture scenario apparently. The show had a more interesting take in 1992:

In a last-ditch attempt to break Picard, the Cardassian interrogator offers him a choice: Either state that there are five lights and enjoy a life of comfort, or insist that there are four and prepare for more torture. Before Picard can answer, two Cardassian guards enter and reveal that the Enterprise has brokered the captain's release. "There are four lights!" Picard shouts, in what seems like a triumph. Later, though, he admits to a fellow officer that he was on the brink of succumbing: "I would have told him anything. Anything at all. But more than that, I believed that I could see five lights."

How strongly did Cheney believe in the al Qaeda-Saddam connection? Strongly enough to torture this "truth" out of a human being under his total control.


Wha?

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Just keeping it topical.

via GOD's WRATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe You Should Consider Becoming a Muslin

Hey everybody. Some Chinese science slut says we're all gonna die.

Stock up on duct tape the windows and bottled water. Elohim is coming back to our Earths...and he's pissed:


World Health Organization director-general Dr. Margaret Chan raised the pandemic threat awareness level to 5 out of 6 on Wednesday, meaning the world is at imminent risk of a pandemic from H1N1 swine flu.

"I have decided to raise the level of influenza pandemic alert from phase 4 to phase 5," Chan told a news briefing.


via Reuters

Conservative Hobbit GOP's New Hope™

The NY Times has profiled Jonathan Krohn, the scary tween who gave a rousing speech at CPAC to a room full of drooling pedos and deep-fried Twinkie enthusiasts.

Krohn is your average home-schooled kid from Georgia who learns Latin from a Christian school on Fridays and studies Arabic with a tutor:

SITTING in the back seat of his mother’s van as she drives through Atlanta suburbs, Jonathan Krohn is about to sign off with a conservative radio talk show host in Florida. In the 40 minutes he’s been on the air, with the help of his mother’s cellphone, this hyper-articulate Georgia eighth grader has attacked the stimulus bill, identified leaders he thinks will salvage the Republican Party’s image, and assessed the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

The show’s host chuckles and asks whether President Obama has called Jonathan “a little fascist.”

“The president hasn’t come after me yet,” Jonathan says chummily, “but we’ve had other people come after me!”

“Jonathan!” his mother hisses from the driver’s seat.


Guess mom is still touchy after screening phone calls from Mark Foley.

Even Bill Bennett has a not-so-secret crush on Krohn:

Jonathan would wake up at 6 a.m. to listen to Bill Bennett’s “Morning in America” show and became riveted by politics and American history. Soon, Mr. Bennett, whom Jonathan now describes as, “my mentor and very good friend,” was taking Jonathan’s calls.

“Jonathan was an extraordinary boy, very special,” Mr. Bennett said, in a phone interview. “He wowed my audience, he wowed me. He’s very engaging and learned. He’s got staying power.”


Gross.

This species of hobbit is more complicated than you'd imagine. For one, he is an anti-semitic Jew:

...He received a computer from his maternal grandfather for his 13th birthday. “In the Jewish culture in which my mom was raised, 13 is a big deal,” he said. “But since I’m a Jewish Christian, I don’t do a bar mitzvah.” (Decades ago, his mother became a Baptist.)


Shame on you, Mr. Krohn.

And shame on you, Rush and Michael Steele, for allowing this kid to appear more relevant than both of you, the Mexican Child King, and Bible Spice combined.

President Unicorn will handily win all 50 states in 2012.

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Holy Ghost People

We never heard of this documentary until last weekend.

The film, made in 1967 by Peter Adair, chronicles the service of a Pentecostal church in West Virginia.

Scary stuff.

Here are parts 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Worth watching.

Then again, we were high.

How To Make Donatella Versace Look Less Tan

Inventive backgrounds including Jersey guidos and more, here at Tabloid Prodigy.

Today's Godtube Moment

via Godtube

BREAKING NEWS: Group Lamer Than Cutters Exists!!!

Teenage girls that embed foreign objects in their skin:

Those unfortunate souls who find cutting insufficiently harmful have taken mutilation to the next level with something doctors call "self-embedding disorder." According to the Chicago Tribune, embedding is when people deliberately insert objects into their flesh, either by forcing them through wounds or by puncturing the flesh with those objects.

"Personnel at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, report extracting 52 foreign objects that 10 teenage girls deliberately embedded in their arms, hands, feet, ankles and necks over the last three years, including needles, staples, wood, stone, glass, pencil lead and a crayon. One patient had inserted 11 objects, including an unfolded metal paper clip more than 6 inches long."

via Jezebel

Why You Just Shouldn't Care

You live longer:

A Panama City man was treated at a local hospital on Sunday for injuries he suffered after two men beat him with a pipe and brass knuckles when he stopped to help a person whose vehicle appeared to be disabled.

The 19-year-old victim said he saw a vehicle County 22 near Lone Wolf Security that appeared to be disabled. He described it as a primer gray or silver older model Chevrolet or GM single cab, 1970s model. When he went to the passenger side of his vehicle to get jumper cables, two men attacked him, according to a Bay County Sheriff's Office incident report.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Looks like it's a done deal:

Hillary Rodham Clinton has decided to give up her Senate seat and accept the position of secretary of state, making her the public face around the world for the administration of the man who beat her for the Democratic presidential nomination, two confidants said Friday.

Mrs. Clinton came to her decision after additional discussion with President-elect Barack Obama about the nature of her role and his plans for foreign policy, said one of the confidants, who insisted on anonymity to discuss the situation. Mr. Obama’s office told reporters Thursday that the nomination is “on track” but Clinton associates only confirmed Friday afternoon that she has decided.

“She’s ready,” said the confidant. Mrs. Clinton was reassured after talking again with Mr. Obama because their first meeting in Chicago last week “was so general,” the confidant said. The purpose of the follow-up talk, he added, was not to extract particular concessions but “just getting comfortable” with the idea of working together.

9 Out Of 10 Doctors Agree

McCain is not in good shape, meaning a McCain/Palin victory reslults in atleast 3 1/2 years of this shit.

From the NY Times:

In interviews, several melanoma experts questioned why the Mayo Clinic doctors had performed such extensive surgery, because the operation was usually reserved for treatment of Stage III melanoma, not Stage IIA.

On Aug. 18, 2000, the day before Mr. McCain’s operation, his surgeon, Dr. Michael L. Hinni, wrote in the records that he planned to do the extensive operation because of the size and location of Mr. McCain’s melanoma. In the teleconference in May 2008, Dr. Hinni explained that because the melanoma was two centimeters across he had to make “a 6-by-6-centimeter island of skin, a fairly sizable wound” to remove it.

It is not known whether the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale asked pathologists outside the Mayo system for an independent review.


Also, McCain has attempted suicide once before:

In 1999, early in his first run for the presidency, Mr. McCain allowed a small number of reporters, including me, to review an estimated 1,500 pages of his medical records without photocopying or recording the information.

In doing so, Mr. McCain gave the public its broadest look at the psychological profile of a presidential candidate. He released psychological records about him that were amassed as part of a Navy project to gauge the health of former prisoners of war. Assessments were based on standard psychological tests and what Mr. McCain told his doctors after his release. The records mentioned that in 1968, about eight months after his capture and after some particularly brutal beatings from his North Vietnamese captors, Mr. McCain attempted suicide, trying to hang himself with his shirt.

Today's Installment Of RACERIOT 2008™ Theatre

From Gawker:

Hours before Sarah Palin showed up to get BOOED at the Flyers opener in Philadelphia, she hosted a rally in Johnstown, PA. And the citizen at left showed up with a stuffed monkey with an Obama sticker on its head. "This is little Hussein," he boasted smugly to cameras. Surely the other McCain/Palin supporters admonished him in the no uncertain terms, yes? No. They giggled and clapped.

Creepiest Political Ad Of The Year

Sarah Palin Knows A Gay

Here's a cute part of the former Mayor of Methtown's latest interview with Katie Couric:

And on gays, Governor Palin said: “But what you’re talking about, I think, value here, what my position is on homosexuality and you can pray it away, because I think that was the title that was listed on that bulletin. And you know, I don’t know what prayers are worthy of being prayed. I don’t know what prayers are going to be asked and answered. But as for homosexuality, I am not going to judge Americans and the decisions that they make in their adult personal relationships. I have one of my absolute best friends for the last 30 years happens to be gay, and I love her dearly. And she is not my “gay friend,” she is one of my best friends, who happens to have made a choice that isn’t a choice I would have made. But I am not going to judge people.”


It gets better.

Here's her deep thoughts on contraception:

Ms. Couric: If a 15-year-old is raped by her father, do you believe it should be illegal for her to get an abortion, and why?

Ms. Palin: I am pro-life. And I’m unapologetic in my position that I am pro-life. And I understand there are good people on both sides of the abortion debate. In fact, good people in my own family have differing views on abortion, and when it should be allowed. Do I respect people’s opinions on this? Now, I would counsel to choose life. I would also like to see a culture of life in this country. But I would also like to take it one step further. Not just saying I am pro-life and I want fewer and fewer abortions in this country, but I want them, those women who find themselves in circumstances that are absolutely less than ideal, for them to be supported, and adoptions made easier.

Ms. Couric: But ideally, you think it should be illegal for a girl who was raped or the victim of incest to get an abortion?

Ms. Palin: I’m saying that, personally, I would counsel the person to choose life, despite horrific, horrific circumstances that this person would find themselves in. And, um, if you’re asking, though, kind of foundationally here, should anyone end up in jail for having an … abortion, absolutely not. That’s nothing I would ever support.

Ms. Couric: Some people have credited the morning-after pill for decreasing the number of abortions. How do you feel about the morning-after pill?

Ms. Palin: Well, I am all for contraception. And I am all for preventative measures that are legal and safe, and should be taken, but Katie, again, I am one to believe that life starts at the moment of conception. And I would like to see …

Ms. Couric: And so you don’t believe in the morning-after pill?

Ms. Palin: … I would like to see fewer and fewer abortions in this world. And again, I haven’t spoken with anyone who disagrees with my position on that.

Ms. Couric: I’m sorry, I just want to ask you again. Do you not support or do you condone or condemn the morning-after pill?

Ms. Palin: Personally, and this isn’t McCain-Palin policy …

Ms. Couric: No, that’s OK, I’m just asking you.

Ms. Palin: But personally, I would not choose to participate in that kind of contraception.

Oh, Good Lord

Here is your Sarah Palin, pondering on the Supreme Court.

The Obama Youth

So, um, yeh. This is the first St. Barack thing that really freaks me the fuck out.

via the Youtubes