NOM Afraid Of Books And Field Trips

Here is the National Organization for Marriage's latest ad.

It features a voice-over by Foghorn Leghorn warning New York residents about the dangers of gay marriage, such as books in Massachusetts and school outings in California. Gasp!

Also, it seems that gay people will steal your wedding photos.

All that's missing is Foghorn saying "There's something kind of 'eee-yew' about a boy who doesn't like baseball." (skip to about the :40 mark)

via Towleroad

Westboro Not Going Anywhere According To Crazy Rant On Site

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About a month ago, Towleroad speculated about a Westboro Baptist Church mass suicide because of a cryptic blog entry that went a little something like this:

We are particularly urgent about it, because the time is shortly to come when we will grant you your wicked wish, Doomed america! Your smart-assed pundits and foul-mouthed politicians have for years told us to pack up and leave if we don’t like this filthy little cancerous boil on the butt of the earth. You all think you’re so clever that you can come up with such cutesy little quips. You’re collectively so Bible dumb that you don’t know what you’re saying. So let me help you out.

...We gotta go, peeps! We gotta go! And when we do, it’s time for this filthy nation to receive of all the plagues that your Creator has promised. The reason there is such urgency in those words … such passion in the irresistible call from our Saviour, Husband, and Friend … is because when that time comes for this rebellious nation – which is spiritually called Babylon and has become literally Babylon by the inexplicable and forcible snatching of that Mesopotamian land where ancient Babylon sat – it is going to be very fast and very violent, such that all mankind is utterly and simply amazed.


Alas, this is not the case. Atleast according to Westboro's blog section in an email answering session:

A few web sites are claiming you guys are going to do a mass suicide because of the April 4 field report. What do you think about waht they’re saying? Here are some excerpts:

From Gossip Boy:
A cryptic blog post on the Westboro Baptist Churchs website hints that their mission is coming to an end, as full darkness invades America, and they are ready to end their fight and depart. Generally, when cults start talking this way, someone is in the kitchen mixing up Kool Aid.

From Towleroad:
Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church recently left a blog post that has some wondering if the extremist group is planning a mass suicide (a la Jonestown). A little excerpt from the post (link goes to WBC blog) written in their typical hag-alect:

Kansas Watch:
But in today’s posting on Fred Phelps’ and family’s blog, they kind of sound like they are planning to leave this mortal coil.

Justin


And the answer:


I say first: This is wishful thinking and standard slander. It means nothing.

I say second: I am late in responding because I was at K-State picketing General David Patraeus. If you check out our schedule of coming pickets (in less than 12 hours I hit the road for Hartford, CT and Cambridge/Boston, MA) - that schedule is almost enough to make me tired just looking at it. My point being - WHY NOW would anyone think that we would do anything as disobedient and lawless as murder?

I say third: That excellent field report says nothing different than we have been telling you for a long time. Today our exit out of this country feels closer than it has in the past. The truth of the matter is that GOD, IN HIS WORD, says he gave those examples in the scriptures FOR OUR EXAMPLE and FOR OUR LEARNING and FOR OUR COMFORT, it says, upon whom the ends of the world have come. There is a VAST body of scripture that speaks to these last hours of the last days of all. So even as Noah preached to the world and THEN GOT ON THE ARK JUST BEFORE THEIR DESTRUCTION CAME, the Doomed Ante-diluvium world and even as LOT preached to and then LEFT Doomed Sodom et al, and their destruction came and likewise when Moses and the Children of Israel PREACHED TO and then LEFT Egypt at which point God destroyed the MOST POWERFUL ARMY in the world in that day (from which Egypt NEVER recovered), etc. etc., we preach to Doomed america. Now, there are three things we hear from brutish Doomed americans, and in this order, to wit: 1. God loves everyone; 2. There is NO God and 3. If you don’t like america . . . if america is Doomed . . . if you think we are this or that, etc. . . . THAN GET THE F#@& OUT!!

SWEET!

...That 144,000 Jews are going to put away the lies of the house of Israel about Christ and who he is and so forth, and they are going to serve God in truth, and WE are going to help them! YAY!! Stay tuned Justin! The day is coming when you will see the flip of what Paul did. He told those stiff-necked and rebellious Jews that he was DONE with them, that God had sent him now to the Gentiles to call out a people for his name, and at Romans 11, Paul makes it CRYSTAL clear that when the fullness of the Gentiles be come in, that God is going to return to the Jews and save a remnant of them and that day is fast approaching! I cannot tell you how thankful I will be when we are through talking to this nation of truly STUPID rebels against God (and you have NO cause!).

We have a most glorious new task, and it is going to be amazing. There are going to be two things that those Jews are going to do in response to this call that we are going to put forth now, WITH a vengeance (you know we will ) and so we must look to the scriptures to see it. Because those Jews are likened by the prophet Jeremiah to Figs - REALLY GOOD figs or REALLY, REALLY BAD or EVIL figs - SO BAD AND EVIL that you cannot eat them or you will die! Plus - the beat the crap out of Paul and at one point they left him for dead and HELLO, THEY KILLED CHRIST!! Our personal experience with them is that they are mean and vicious and violent!!

...Now I must ask you - WHY IN THIS WORLD would we consider anything short of running to this battle as FAST as our little legs will carry us!!

As for that cryptic lie - YIKES!! We are about as plain spoken as words can be - GOD HATES FAGS AND THEIR ENABLERS . . . . . . . . . . . . .THEREFORE . . . . . . . . . . . . . america IS DOOMED!!! YAY!!!

Thanks!


Wow. Just.....wow.

Angry Kid Touchers Angered At President Who Kills/Eats Babies Before They Reach Ripe Age Of 8

As was expected:

It's telling that the pro-life guys doing the protesting are both men who clearly didn't graduate recently. I'm all for public protests, but there's an astroturf quality to some of these religious right protests, and conservative protests overall. You'd think, if the students were truly upset that Obama was coming to their school, that some - uh - students themselves might protest?


Def lacks the subtlety of dead baby dolls in Spongebob strollers.


via AMERICAblog

Alan Keyes Regrets His Abortion

Whoa! Guess who showed up to Notre Dame, as promised?


via NY Times

Bible Spice Defends That Lady Bigot With The Fake Boobs

Like we didn't know this was coming:


In a strongly worded statement relased late Wednesday, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin defended Miss California Carrie Prejean and ripped into "the liberal onslaught of malicious attacks" against Prejean for her response to a question about gay marriage.

"I can relate as a liberal target myself," Palin said. "What I find so remarkable is that these politically-motivated attacks fail to show that what Carrie and I believe is also what President Obama and Secretary Clinton believe — marriage is between a man and a woman."

Prejean created a stir with her response to a question about gay marriage at last month's Miss USA pageant, questions about her work with gay marriage opponents and nearly nude photos taken of her when she was a teenager put her title in jeopardy.

"I applaud Donald Trump for standing with Carrie during this time. And I respect Carrie for standing strong and staying true to herself, and for not letting those who disagree with her deny her protection under the nation's First Amendment Rights," the former vice presidential candidate said.

"Our Constitution protects us all — not just those who agree with the far left," Palin said.

Alan Keyes' Super Gross Open Letter To Baby Eaters

Oh my!

If you haven't heard the news, President Obama is going to give one of his fancy erection speeches at Notre Dame, a college for future kid touchers.

Many people are upset about this. (Baby Jesus?)

Crazy Jesus person and Obama arch-enemy Alan Keyes is furious and wrote an insane letter to whatever giant Spider Monster runs the college:

When I read of slavery in my youth I could not understand why so many tolerated such evil for so long. I asked God to help me never in my life to be such as they were. Once I fully understood the nature of the abortion issue, I was moved to stand against abortion and the slaughter of innocent life as I would have wanted all people of conscience and goodwill to stand against slavery and the rape of my forbears' liberty. When people suggest that Barack Obama shares some heritage with me, I know better. For the truest test of that heritage is not the color of someone's skin, but the determination of their heart, never to stand silently by while God's fundamental law of justice is denied to persons whose only crime is the unjustly despised appearance of their humanity.


As a result, if Keyes steps foot on the campus, he will be arrested. Fun!

The best part is the follow-up statement Keyes released which is just batshit disgusting sentence after batshit disgusting sentence about dead babies, menses, or whatever happens down there to a lady.

Enjoy:

Christ said:

"31 When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: 32 And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: 33 And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. 34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35 For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:31-40)"


These words must ring in the ears of faithful Christians as they consider the grim reality of abortion. Every time abortionists rip a child limb from limb within the womb; every time they crush the fragile head; every time they scorch the life from its body with a death dealing solution; every time they scrape its nascent cells of life from the walls of a womb- Jesus is savagely beaten again; his skull pressed down with thorns; his limbs pulled savagely in their sockets; his hands and feet pierced through with nails; his breath drawn with fiery pain; his life finally extinguished; every time.

And every time there stands vociferous in the crowd, the ambitious man of blood, Barack Obama. He is justifying the torture, forcing bystanders to aid in the atrocity, assuring that the nails are paid for and the henchmen of evil well fed and rewarded for their role in the daily crucifixion. Even the garments of the innocent children (their little organs or stem cells), like the vesture of Christ, he prepares for division among those who perpetrate the slaughter.


Good lord. And to think I thought it was like this the whole time.

Thanks, Alan!


via CBN

Joe The Plumber Hates, Yet Fears Queermosexuals

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Here's a gem from everyone's favorite Intellectuel Moderne, Samuel Wurzelbacher...also known as Joe the Plumber after he dons his cape constructed of American flags stolen from librul public libraries.

From a Christianity Today interview:


Q: In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

A: At a state level, it's up to them. I don't want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it's wrong. People don't understand the dictionary—it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we're supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they're people, and they're going to do their thing.


via shorts

Checkin' In With Chuck

Looke everybody! Chuck Norris has written another Jesus infomercial for the Mexican snuff webpamphlet WorldNetDaily. This time, it's about how much our Muslin Kraken POTUS hates all things Baby Jeebus. Let's check it out!!!!!:


Obama has been in office 100 days, and last week U.S. News & World Report commemorated the occasion by documenting what it considers to be his "Ten most important Obama faith moments."

Without defining what "most important" and "faith moment" mean, U.S. News & World Report clearly shows its thesis and thrust in the column with this sentence: "Barack Obama has embraced faith in a more visible way than any other president in recent memory."

With a statement like that, the top 10 list must be rock-solid faith stimulators, right? You decide. Here is its list of 10 and my thoughts on each.

1. Rick Warren's Inauguration Day invocation

Despite what you think of Pastor Warren, his participation in Obama's inauguration was a gutsy move for any left-leaning president. I'll grant Obama and U.S. News & World Report that inclusion as a definite significant "faith moment," though maybe (as I've already discussed in a previous column) not for all the right reasons.

2. Granting first TV interview to Arabic Language Network

I would call that more of a "diplomatic moment" than a "faith moment," despite that a majority of the Arab world is Muslim. Obama has stated, "My job to the Muslim world is to communicate that the Americans are not your enemy." But is that his exclusive message? Is that the message he wants to send to our enemies?

3. Reversing Mexico City Policy on family planning providers abroad

Since when is subsidizing other nations with federal funds to provide more abortions a "faith moment"? That is one of the most ridiculous additions of the bunch, second to No. 7 or No. 8. If U.S. News & World Report regards increasing international abortions among its "faith moments," then it has overlooked another half dozen pro-choice decisions Obama's administration has made, like several key appointments of pro-choice leaders.

...7. Joe Biden's receiving ashes on Ash Wednesday

With all respect to Biden, to think that the vice president's participation in Lenten church services is classified among the 10 most important faith moments of Barack Obama borders on comical.

...8. Lifting restrictions on federally funded embryonic stem cell research

Like No. 3 on expanding international abortions, to include the lifting of restrictions for federally funded embryonic stem cell research among Obama's top 10 "most important faith moments" is ludicrous. Obama himself said, "As a person of faith, I believe we are called to care for each other and work to ease human suffering." Apparently that doesn't apply to life in the womb.

...If my math is correct regarding the U.S. News & World Report column, the preceding "10 most important Obama faith moments" include: 1) Two encouraging Muslim relations and religion around the world, 2) two extending and increasing terminations of human life in the womb, 3) one non-religious speaking engagement at a university, 4) two acts promoting community development, 5) seven events that included invocations, 5) and one about the sight of religious soot on the forehead of the vice president.

Makes me wonder what U.S. News & World Report means by "most important" and "faith moment." "Most important" for whom? U.S. News & World Report? The Left? And what does "faith moment" mean? "Religious moment"? "Secular moment"? "Muslim moment"?


How did this guy qualify as a "writer", again?

via WND

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Today's installment surely stands apart.

One can't help but wonder why this singing twat knows so much about animal buttfuckery.

via tangle

It's Hard Out There For A Hater

We were totally going to breeze over the above ad released by the National Organization for Marriage because other sites had already covered it. But this is just too rich.

The Washington City Paper has audition tapes, dug up by the HRC, showing that mouth breathers really do have problems sounded out the King's english. Let the hilarity ensue:

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Finally! Someone summed up the major arguments against gay marriage in under 30 seconds...kinda.

Pastor Mike, a gay internet taint-goblin, made this vidja with the aid of his daughter's Leapfrog to help us understand that the gays Devaluate™ the concept of marriage, which is based on gold and Ron Paul dollars.

via tangle

Pat Robertson Is Still Batshit Crazy

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Why does Barack Obama insist on making these secret Muslin agent hobbit dolls?

From the description:

Pastor David Grice shows off one of satan's favorite dolls during his sermons on Sunday November 16, 2008 at Lighthouse Baptist Church in Grand Prairie, Texas. John 8:12 "Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." For info on Islam, visit chick.com/information/religions/islam


And just for fun:

Inbred Shit-troll Waddles Her Way To Washington

Westboro Baptist Church sent their members a-wassailing to the White House to express their anger against the Muslin Devil, Barack Obama. The group was led by the daughter of reknowned gay fisting porn star, Fred Phelps.

From Towleroad:


Shirley Phelps-Roper and a contingent from the Westboro Baptist Church paid a visit to the White House yesterday to pray for God to shortly destroy the "antichrist" Barack Obama. They were met by counter-protestors who far outnumbered them, according to Campus Progress.


One question: Where can we buy one of those awesome purple hoodies?

Here's some more video funnery from the event:

James Dobson Resigns

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After reading, it really makes one wonder what evil asshat is waiting in the wings to take over:

James Dobson, who stepped down as president and CEO of the Colorado Springs-based anti-gay group Focus on the Family six years ago, has resigned as chairman, the AP reports:

"Dobson notified the board of his decision Wednesday, and the 950 employees of the Colorado Springs, Colo.-based ministry were informed Friday morning at a monthly worship service, said Jim Daly, the group's president and chief executive officer. Dobson, 72, will continue to host Focus on the Family's flagship radio program, write a monthly newsletter and speak out on moral issues, Daly said. Dobson's resignation as board chairman 'lessens his administrative burden' and is the latest step in a succession plan, the group said."

Said Dobson: "One of the common errors of founder-presidents is to hold to the reins of leadership too long, thereby preventing the next generation from being prepared for executive authority, though letting go is difficult after three decades of intensive labor, it is the wise thing to do."

GLAAD President Neil Giuliano released a statement in response to the news: "For more than 20 years, James Dobson has used his expansive, well-funded media platform to promote defamatory and false information about the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. As Dobson resigns from his role as chairman, it is important to remember his history of false and defamatory claims about our community. GLAAD urges the media to not allow Dobson to turn today's news into yet another media platform for him to advance his intolerant divisive attacks on gay and lesbian Americans and their families."


via Towleroad

We Still Don't Know If This Is A Joke

The Passion for Christ Movement (not to be confused with the Mel Gibson snuff film) has a new kind of message to spread...on T-shirts.

Stop masturbating:

Yeah we said it….Nobody talks about it, but most people have done it or are still doing it. It's seems to be a rite of passage for both girls and guys into the world of sex. Some say masturbation is not a sin, some say that it is. But is it really okay in the eyes of God?

...When God wants to take His message of deliverance across the globe, there is NO stopping Him. Check out this feature of the EX Shirts on one of the fastest growing Christian Hip Hop magazines in the US: www.DaSouth.com. Also, hit up their new article, "Masturbation" It breaks down the lies behind masturbation, explains how this is actually a sin, and how we can be freed through Christ.

And if you need even more encouragement, check out ya girl Dameco's latest blog entry, in which she fearlessly testifies to her struggle and victory over masturbation!


Well, do tell, Tampico:

Masturbation. This is the thing that many people do but don't really talk about, especially women. It's looked on as not ladylike and not pure. It's a shameful thing for many women and men alike. I struggled with masturbation for many years but this wasn't the only sexually immoral thing that I was enslaved to. I started masturbating as early as 7th or 8th grade, but overall my imprisonment to lust started as early as 4 or 5 years of age. When I was a little girl, I had a friend that I played with. Something must have happened to her because it was from playing with her that I had my first sexual experience. After this one time experience I wasn't the same and I developed homosexual tendencies as well. The seed of lust was planted and grew to maturity in my heart. I went from "humping" the floors, to sexually stimulate myself, to full on masturbation, which became my most shameful secret. The frequency to which I masturbated and the degree to which I did it was so bad that I actually ended up tearing the tissue on my clitoris. This sent me into depression for months because I thought I had mutilated myself. I had contemplated suicide because of it but I still didn't stop. The real battle began for me when I desired freedom.

...If your dealing with this, you need to confess it to God, confess everything. God is so serious about this sin . He said " if your eye—even your good eye —causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. "


Gross.

via OMG

Fred Phelps To Protest Shawnee Mission East

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Back in October of 2007, the Prairie Village, KS high school annointed a sodomist homecoming overlord. Apparently the folks at Westboro Baptist Church, a renowned bathhouse in Topeka, have a harder time sounding out the printed word than we thought and are just now catching up on the news.

Fred Phelps and his army of secret homosexuals for Jesus will arrive at the school to protest February 5. Hoorayz!!!!!

Here's their Mission statement:

Shawnee Mission East High School - God Hates Fags! 7500 Mission Rd On the whole electing a fag to be your Homecoming Queen - well that is so appropriate for a filthy little goody-two-shoes-type bible belt community like Prairie Village! Here's how you hypocrites got that way: Romans 1:18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; 19 ¶ Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. 20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: 21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. 24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. AMEN!


One can only hope they'll bring the kids to do some more caroling:




UPDATE: If anyone attends the event, email video and pictures to brickbatblog@gmail.com. There may be a Blingee contest on the horizon.

Palin Church Fire Secrets Revealed

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Not only was the Great Wasilla Bible Church Fire of '08 the work of angry homosexuals. Now it has come to light that it was the work of homosexual assassins:

[Blogger Kevin] Collins said he discussed the situation with a church elder, Tom Ryan, who confirmed the case isn’t a simple arson, but an attempted murder situation.

“There were five adult women and a 17-year-old girl in the church during the arson,” Collins wrote.

He also reported the telephone wires and those controlling the fire alarm and water sprinkler were cut before the fire was set from within the building, because footprints were found inside the control room.

“Clearly the arson[ist] knew the victims were present,” he wrote.

“The facts speak clearly. This attempted murder was perpetrated by someone from outside of the Wasilla area, a hired assassin who went there to kill people because of what they believe,” Collins reported.


Jesus' General responds:

No doubt your conclusion is correct. It must have been a murder attempt carried our by hired assassins from out of state. Your logic is impeccable. As you note, the phone and alarm lines were reportedly cut--surely, no one from Wasila has the mental acuity needed to operate a tool as complex as a wire cutter.

But who are these assassins? Are they Obama-voting infidels from Seattle, Denver, Charlotte or some other piece of faux America? Or are they part of a more sinister group--perhaps one with international origins.

I strongly suspect it's the latter. More specifically, I blame Nigerian child witches. They certainly have a motive. Gov. Palin's close relationship with Nigerian witch fighter Thomas Muthee surely scares them. They are already suffering greatly from the "poison destroyers," imprisonment, and beatings to which Pastor Muthee and his fellow witch fighters are subjecting them. Add the full power of American military might Palin could muster after God makes her President, and, hey, these wicked child witches could be rendered powerless in a matter of weeks.

I hope you'll pursue that lead, but if you do, please do so carefully.

Holy Ghost People

We never heard of this documentary until last weekend.

The film, made in 1967 by Peter Adair, chronicles the service of a Pentecostal church in West Virginia.

Scary stuff.

Here are parts 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Worth watching.

Then again, we were high.

A New Word Is Born

Rick Warren, pastor of a gay mega-waterpark in California, has a new Jesus pamphlet for sale. And the name of it is...wait for it...wait for it...Saddlebacking:

Matt Rettenmund at Boy Culture notes that Pastor Rick Warren is publishing a new magazine (featuring an interview with Obama in its first issue) with a title more suited for a gay hook-up site.

Slogger and sex columnist Dan Savage held a contest to determine what might be a proper definition for the term "saddlebacking" (in honor of Rick Warren's Saddleback Church) and the definition above prevailed:



Saddlebacking: sad•dle•back•ing \ˈsa-dəl-ˈba-kiŋ\ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities

After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.

via Towleroad