Palin Church Fire Secrets Revealed

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Not only was the Great Wasilla Bible Church Fire of '08 the work of angry homosexuals. Now it has come to light that it was the work of homosexual assassins:

[Blogger Kevin] Collins said he discussed the situation with a church elder, Tom Ryan, who confirmed the case isn’t a simple arson, but an attempted murder situation.

“There were five adult women and a 17-year-old girl in the church during the arson,” Collins wrote.

He also reported the telephone wires and those controlling the fire alarm and water sprinkler were cut before the fire was set from within the building, because footprints were found inside the control room.

“Clearly the arson[ist] knew the victims were present,” he wrote.

“The facts speak clearly. This attempted murder was perpetrated by someone from outside of the Wasilla area, a hired assassin who went there to kill people because of what they believe,” Collins reported.


Jesus' General responds:

No doubt your conclusion is correct. It must have been a murder attempt carried our by hired assassins from out of state. Your logic is impeccable. As you note, the phone and alarm lines were reportedly cut--surely, no one from Wasila has the mental acuity needed to operate a tool as complex as a wire cutter.

But who are these assassins? Are they Obama-voting infidels from Seattle, Denver, Charlotte or some other piece of faux America? Or are they part of a more sinister group--perhaps one with international origins.

I strongly suspect it's the latter. More specifically, I blame Nigerian child witches. They certainly have a motive. Gov. Palin's close relationship with Nigerian witch fighter Thomas Muthee surely scares them. They are already suffering greatly from the "poison destroyers," imprisonment, and beatings to which Pastor Muthee and his fellow witch fighters are subjecting them. Add the full power of American military might Palin could muster after God makes her President, and, hey, these wicked child witches could be rendered powerless in a matter of weeks.

I hope you'll pursue that lead, but if you do, please do so carefully.

Holy Ghost People

We never heard of this documentary until last weekend.

The film, made in 1967 by Peter Adair, chronicles the service of a Pentecostal church in West Virginia.

Scary stuff.

Here are parts 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Worth watching.

Then again, we were high.

Homosexuals Set Fire To Sarah Palin's Church

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Atleast that's her side of it:

Governor Sarah Palin called into On the Record with Greta van Susteren last night to talk about the church fire that destroyed the Wasilla Bible Church over the weekend. Right wing pundits have been trying to link the fire to gays because of criticism during the campaign of the church's promotion of an "ex-gay" conference, although there is no evidence gay people had anything to do with the church fire.

Here's part of the interview:



VAN SUSTEREN: Well, when we were there, there was one little controversy that was brewing that the pastor was trying to explain to us about gays and some sort of meeting in Anchorage. Do you know about that at all, what that controversy was?

PALIN: Yeah, I think there was an insert in the church's bulletin one Sunday that had advertised a seminar that was being (INAUDIBLE) at another church in Anchorage, and it had to do with those who wanted some assistance or some kind of counseling in dealing with any struggles that they would have regarding homosexuality. And it was a seminar that was advertised at the church. And yep, that drew quite a bit of scrutiny during the presidential campaign because people looked at that and wanted to spin that into something that it was not. And yes, that was a bit of the scrutiny and attention that the Wasilla Bible Church has received.

VAN SUSTEREN: Well, are gays welcome at your church in Wasilla, the one that was burned?

PALIN: Absolutely. Of course. Yes. In fact, the pastors and leadership at that church, they are quite open in terms of welcoming people into the church and assisting anyone who desires assistance or counseling or help. That's what this church is all about. Wasilla Bible Church, along with some other churches in Wasilla and Alaska, are very, very good, very, again, biblically-based and not intolerant or judgmental, just welcoming people of all walks of life.

Another Installment Of Snake Handler Theatre

Some mouth-breathing fundie piece of shit man of Gawd in Andersoun County, SC decided it was a good idea to beat his son with a baseball bat after the kid came home from a pride parade:

Violence broke out Sunday in Anderson when an 18-year-old man returned home from a gay pride parade and was assaulted by his father.

According to the Anderson County Sheriff's Office, the battering took place about 1 p.m. Sunday on P Street.

During the assault, the teen's 49-year-old father yelled, cursed, swung a baseball bat, prayed and tried to “cast the demon of homosexuality out of him,” according to the teen's version of events to Deputy S.C. Weymouth, the incident report states.

About 2 p.m. Wednesday, the teen said his father punched him when he returned to the house for clothes that he left on Sunday, the report states.

The teen told deputies that his father “has a problem with him being gay and that is why he hit him with the baseball bat Sunday,” Weymouth said in his report.


Praise the Lord.

A Tale Of Two Fundies

Those zombie who smile too much and pollute your door knob with prayer mailers/VBS coupons? Here's further evidence you should avoid eye contact with them.

Burning flaming crosses in children's arms.

and

Tying your son to a tree and leaving him for dead.

Speaking Of Snake Handlers

Good piece on holy rollers and such. As usual, teh crazy is based on a couple passages from the Bible.

"And these signs shall follow them that believe: In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."

--Mark 16:17-18

"Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you."

--Luke 10:19

Snake Handlers Get Enough Sigs In CA For Marriage Band

From Monterey County Herald:

An initiative that would again outlaw gay marriage in California has qualified for the November ballot, the Secretary of State announced Monday.
California Secretary of State Debra Bowen said a random check of signatures submitted by the measure's sponsors showed that they had gathered enough names for it to be put to voters.

The measure, known as the California Marriage Protection Act, would amend the state constitution to "provide that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

If approved by a majority of voters on Nov. 4, the amendment would overturn the recent California Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage in the state. It is similar to gay marriage bans that have been adopted in 26 other states.