Saturday, May 23, 2009

Rand Paul Tells Really Boring Story About His Name That Is Probably A Lie



Here is Kentucky's own Senate hopeful Rand Paul, shown above in his asylum-issued duds, talking about the origin of his name.

Paultards are cumming on themselves at the thought of L. Ron Paultard's son being named after that lady who wrote some shitty book.

Well, they are wrong.


via the Youtubes

Florida Pays For Very Expensive Beard

Really?

The St. Petersburg Times ran an interesting piece yesterday about the cost of protecting fancy Charlie Crist's wife, Carole, and her two kids.....who do not live with Crist.

From The Juice:


In the past six months, it cost the Florida Department of Law Enforcement $57,000 to protect Carole Crist and her two kids. This is hardly an eye-popping figure, when compared to the $208,000 once spent to protect former first lady Columba Bush.

But the story also points out that Carole Crist's daughters live in New York, while she has a house in Fisher Island, and has only made rare public appearances since marrying Crist last December. Which calls into question whether Crist's new family is much of a family at all.

Rumors have swirled for years that Crist is gay, but mainstream media outlets such as the St. Petersburg Times have largely ignored them. Then along came the documentary Outrage, which exposes closeted Republican politicians who champion anti-gay legislation while secretly trolling for lovers in bars and men's bathrooms.

The film debuted in Florida this month, and Crist plays a prominent role in it. Two sources are interviewed on camera saying they had been at parties where a GOP staffer told friends that he had a physical relationship with Crist. ( New Times' Bob Norman first reported these allegations and more about Crist's mysterious personal life in 2006). Outrage also points out that Crist, a longtime bachelor, only seems to find a girlfriend--or wife--at politically expedient moments.

Crist, of course, has repeately denied having sex with men. But if everyone in the mainstream media believes him, why does one of the most venerable papers in the state need to make a stink about his new wife being MIA?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Children's Treasury Of Lambo Loss Reax Youtube Videos












AND FOR THE WIN!!!!

The One Minute Man

Minus 15 seconds for the photo op...make that 45 seconds.

President Unicorn found it in his heart and schedule to allow Judy Shepard 60 seconds of his time.

From The Advocate:

Shepard told The Advocate that she received the Obamas’ invitation on Monday, the same day White House press secretary Robert Gibbs told Advocate Washington correspondent Kerry Eleveld during a press briefing that he “didn’t have the answer” to her question about repealing the antigay Defense of Marriage Act.

Upon arriving at the White House on Wednesday, Shepard first met with the president in the Oval Office. The meeting was short -- “It was supposed to be 10 minutes, but his meeting beforehand ran long and I only had a minute or so with him,” Shepard said. But it was long enough for Obama to assure Shepard that he was still a supporter of the hate-crimes bill named in honor of her son, a gay man who was murdered in Laramie, Wyo., in 1998 at age 21.

She was then ushered to a luncheon hosted by Michelle Obama. “It was me and about 80 other people,” she said, adding that she wasn't able to speak one-on-one with the first lady.

Although she understands that many activists, like Mixner, are becoming increasingly frustrated with the White House, Shepard encourages people to be patient when it comes to LGBT legislation.

“We are victims of our own hope,” she says. “These bills are going to get passed, it’s just going to take time and work.”

It's Over

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And our Faerie King, Lambo Cockrissian, lost.

A few reax worth reading here and here.

THIS one from Jim David @ HuffBlow (of course) takes the cake:


The best singer didn't win a freaking singing contest.

When Kris Allen defeated Adam Lambert as the Season 8 "American Idol," it was, as predicted, a seismic upset. The Chicago Sun-Times said, "David slayed Goliath." Endless bloggers posted reactions like "The biggest robbery since Bush stole the election" and "The end of American Idol's last hope at relevance."

Everyone, from the judges to Google to Yahoo to the Vegas odds makers, predicted a Lambert victory. They were right, and everyone knows it. In the end homophobia won, and everyone knows it.

Yes, homophobia is alive and well, which is why Lambert lost the ultimate title. Go ahead -- give me another reason. Yes, Lambert is over the top and screams a lot and is campier than Liberace at Radio City. Sure, Kris Allen is a cutie, and has pleasant enough vocals, and he's nice. But a better singer, or performer, than Lambert? Please.



Ohhhhh just wait. It gets even more maudlin:


If the contestants had zero backstory, Lambert would have decimated the competition. Instead, Allen's Christianity, church roots and corn-fed wife were exploited, as were Lambert's musical theatre roots (i.e. his 'theatre fag' history). He didn't say a word about his sexuality, but didn't need to. For that we had the Internet, zapping anyone's private photo library to the world, so photos of Lambert swapping saliva with a guy went viral, as well as a lot of his very strange yet riveting LA cabaret performances, turning off the homophobic majority.

Yes, a majority of the country is homophobic. If it weren't, gays would have had their rights back in the 90s when the Europeans got them. We wouldn't have a majority of states with a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. We wouldn't be fighting for even rudimentary domestic partnership laws in some cities and states. We wouldn't have anti-gay imbeciles like Maggie Gallagher, Peter LaBarbera, Matt Barber or the "God Hates Fags" morons getting publicity. Yep, if American weren't homophobic, Lambert would be waving to the crowds from a convertible.

...And he made, without really trying, a great leap for gays in America. The American public learned his sexuality early on and still voted for him into the finals, even if they were too scared to give him the ultimate prize. But they obviously had their limits. Perhaps if he hadn't sung his finale "Mad World" performance in that 'Basketball Diaries' cloak, which made us fear he was a misunderstood youth about to pull out a semiautomatic and open fire on the tweens in the mosh pit, he would have won.



Jim David, shut the fuck up.

Adam Lambert was never a gay contestant. He was a contestant everyone surmised to be a sodomist based on an arsenal of evidence. He never admitted to anything. He was never a gay hero, because he never said he was gay.

EW had a post-finale interview with Lambo and the following exchange occurred:

I want to just get this question out of the way first, something that's been dangling a bit over you for the whole season: Would you like to put to rest all the speculation about your sexuality?
It's not dangling over my head. [Laughing] It may be dangling over yours, but it's not over mine. Yeah, I think speculation keeps things really interesting.

So you don't want to say anything one way or the other?
Like I said, I think speculation keeps things very, very interesting. [Laughs]



See? No homophobia involved. He's not a gay.

Atleast, not an out gay. Maybe a pansexual opportunist who used a nationwide platform to promote his career rather than promote understanding and acceptance.

But Mr. David, you can't call homophobia against a guy who denies being gay.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hilarious Yet Gross Pregnancy Ad Needs More Alan Keyes



From The Sun:

Leicester NHS Trust placed the graphic video, which used actors, online in a bid to shock youngsters and raise awareness of teen pregnancies.

But the footage was initially too much for YouTube censors who took it down after less than 24 hours.

After protests that it was an educational video, it was put back online.

The film appears to have been shot using a mobile phone camera to give an air of authenticity.

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment




WTF?


via tangle

DNC Hires Perez Hilton For Campaign Ad



Is this really the best they can do?

From CNN:

Eager to keep Dick Cheney in the spotlight, the Democratic National Committee released a Web video Wednesday highlighting recent GOP praise for the former vice president's series of television appearances.

Set to Caleb Delamont's Let Me Know That You Love Me, the video shows clips of House Minority Leader John Boehner and Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele praising Cheney's newfound media visibility, even as officials in the Republican party have sought to spotlight a new generation of leadership.

"The Republican Party [hearts] Dick Cheney," the video declares.

Corrections: THIS Is Lambo's Boyfriend

Drake, Adam, and some girl who popped too many Vicodin

We've spent months speculating about the wrong guy. (It was still fun)

From Towleroad:

Perez Hilton claims that this man, allegedly named Drake, is Adam Lambert's love interest and Lambert was affectionately referring to him as "my boy" at a recent party. Over the weekend, the New York Daily News floated a rumor that Lambert was spotted with someone he referred to as "his boyfriend" while dining out with fellow Idol contestants over the weekend.



No word yet from you know who.


Also, Ted Haggard wants to buy meth and get fisted (in no certain order) by Kris Allen.

Some Blind People Take Pictures....Some Blind People Should Not Take Pictures



From TIME:

Evgen Bavcar, The Flow of Time
Renowned in Europe but little known in the United States, Bavcar lost his eyes in two separate childhood accidents. Of his work, he says, "I have a private gallery, but, unfortunately, I am the only one who can visit it. Others can enter by means of my photographs, but they do not see the originals, just the reproductions."



via Inspired by Light

Monday, May 18, 2009

Angry Kid Touchers Angered At President Who Kills/Eats Babies Before They Reach Ripe Age Of 8



As was expected:

It's telling that the pro-life guys doing the protesting are both men who clearly didn't graduate recently. I'm all for public protests, but there's an astroturf quality to some of these religious right protests, and conservative protests overall. You'd think, if the students were truly upset that Obama was coming to their school, that some - uh - students themselves might protest?


Def lacks the subtlety of dead baby dolls in Spongebob strollers.


via AMERICAblog

Meghan McCain Lurves Guns, Does Not Own One

meghan mccain
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My, quite the gangster, this one.

Meghan wrote a piece about how much she enjoys firing guns and why everyone should own one to protect themselves from Barack Obama, the poors, Mexicans, and whatnot.

The beginning is priceless:

As an NRA member—their annual convention kicks off today in my hometown—the shooting range is one place I'm Republican through-and-through. I find it empowering, especially as a woman, to fire off a few rounds.

In the days after my dad lost the election, my brothers and I went to shoot rounds at the local shooting range. Partly because—as anyone who knows how to use a rifle and can do so safely understands—doing so is hugely stress-relieving, and partly because, we half-joked, it might mark the beginning of the end of our Second Amendment rights under the Obama administration. Now I admit we probably thought as much because our emotions were running so high following the election, but the fact remains: The right to bear arms, and specifically the idea of it being taken away from me, is one of my biggest concerns.



Whaaaa?!?!?!?

I digress:

Putting it bluntly, we’ve done a disservice to our violence problems by making the political argument about guns instead of whatever causes people to be violent in the first place. Anger, alcohol, drugs, economic hopelessness, reckless driving—they can all precipitate tragedy. Simply removing guns from the equation does not solve the larger problem. Worse, it gives the wrong impression about what can and should be done to help those who are troubled. The real solution to preventing gun violence is not taking away the tools, but tackling its causes: poverty, inadequate health care, mental illness, joblessness, inadequate housing, and poor education. Desperate people will make anything a weapon. We need to eliminate desperation, not guns.

...So, yes, the girl who wants to legalize gay marriage and thinks the GOP is out of touch with progressive-minded Republicans is fiercely protective of her Second Amendment rights and finds it empowering, especially as a woman, to fire off a few rounds and get closer and closer to the desired target. This is one issue where I’m red through-and-through. Last year, I heard Marcus Luttrell, author of Lone Survivor, speak at the NRA Convention in Louisville, Kentucky. His story—Luttrell was awarded the Navy Cross for his courage during a devastating firefight in 2005 that left him the only survivor of his SEAL team in eastern Afghanistan—was moving and inspiring beyond words. Besides, you can’t miss the NRA billboards as you drive around Phoenix these days. How could I not be pumped?

...The sooner we concentrate on the real problems that lead to gun violence and not the guns, we'll get closer to saving lives and keeping our nation safer. Do I own a gun? No. I don't feel I'm skilled enough yet to keep one safely in my possession. But that doesn't mean someday I won't own one. Or several.



via The Daily Beast

Subway Dude Writes Fancy Poem About Some Transvestite

What happens when you contract Scarlet Fever AND the Mumps

Failed POTUS candidate and Jester for Jesus, Mike Huckabee, has used his website (it's still up?) to write a poem for Nancy Pelosi.

It fun!!!:


Here's a story about a lady named Nancy
A ruthless politician, but dressed very fancy
Very ambitious, she got herself elected Speaker
But as for keeping secrets, she proved quite a "leaker."

She flies on government planes coast to coast
And doesn't mind that our economy is toast
She makes the Air Force squire her in their military jets
There's room for her family, her staff, and even her pets.

Until now, she annoyed us, but her gaffes were mostly funny;
Even though it was painful to watch her waste our tax money.
But now her wacky comments are no laughing matter;
She's either unwilling to tell the truth, or she's mad as a hatter!

She sat in briefings and knew about enhanced interrogation;
But claims she wasn't there, and can't give an explanation.
She disparages the CIA and says they are a bunch of liars;
Even the press aren't buying it and they're stoking their fires.

I think Speaker Pelosi has done too much speaking;
And instead of her trashing our intelligence officials, it's her nose that needs tweaking.

If forced to believe whether the CIA and her colleagues in Congress are lying;
Or it's Speaker Pelosi whose credibility and career is dying.
I believe in the integrity of the men and women who sacrifice to keep us safe;
Not the woman who has been caught flat-footed, lying to our face.

I say it here and I say it rather clear-
It's time for Nancy Pelosi to resign and get out of here.



Wait. Isn't poetry for the fags?

via CNN

Geno's World Full Of Shit; Lambo Brings A Date; Etc.

Geno's World
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Hoorayz!!! More Blog Warz™!!!!

Geno's World, TMZ's mongoloid sister, has just done dug themselves a hole.

This past week, they had a post entitled "Exclusive: Adam Lambert's friend and former boyfriend "Cheeks" turns down Star Magazine's offer for revealing interview!":

As revealed on Geno's World exclusively on 3/4/09 , the man pictured kissing Adam Lambert in the photos that swept the Internet is "Cheeks", a rising music star in his own right. A loyal friend, "Cheeks" has turned down interviews and money making opportunities to reveal stories about his relationship with Lambert. "Cheeks" has repeatedly told friends of "Geno's World" that he does not want to interfere with Adam's race to the finals on Idol. He is content to stay in the background and root his friend on quietly.

Today, word came to Geno's World that "Cheeks" was offered a measly $2,000 and promotion for his projects from Star magazine to "tell all" about his relationship with Adam. A source close to "Cheeks" told me "2 Grand? Please! "Cheeks" has turned down offers that have dwarfed that one to talk about Adam. The only way he'd ever open up is to do so in a friendly and safe environment. The price would have to be out of this world and with the understanding that "Cheeks" would never ever say anything disrespectful or mean about Adam" Good for "Cheeks"! It's good to know that someone has integrity out there!



Besides the ironically hilarious last line of the post about "integrity", again the title of the post is Exclusive: Adam Lambert's friend and former boyfriend "Cheeks" turns down Star Magazine's offer for revealing interview!.

Former.

Which proves my point from a week or so ago.....about Geno's World being full of shit:

"Radar Online has reported on Geno's World's exclusive revealing of American Idol's Adam Lambert's boyfriend's identity. "Cheeks" had no comment to Radar's request for a quote......But Geno's World is hard at work talking to "Cheeks" friends convinving him to tell his story exclusively here at Geno's World. And Geno's World has an exclusive response to an Access Hollywood report from 1 hour ago. Adam had talked to AH about his kissing photos that hit the web of him and "Cheeks". The report says Adam is currently single.....NOT SO says a close associate of "Cheeks". "Oh no, they still see each other.".....Stay tuned......."


So......suck it.

Moving on, The NY Daily News reported that Lambo took his "boyfriend" to Outback with other Idol contestants:

American Idol" finalist Adam Lambert wasn't coy about his love life when he and other "AI" contestants got together the other night at Burbank's Outback Steakhouse. Lambert called the dude with him "my boyfriend," says a spy. Also looking cozy at the dinner: Anoop Desai and Megan Joy Corkrey, who sources say are an item.


Again, this probably bullshit. According to Matt Giraud and Jackie Tohn's Twitter page, the group went out to the Olive Garden.

What can we gain from all of this?

None of this is true.

Adam Lambert is neither straight nor gay. He is a pansexual Adlet sent to our Earths to drink the blood of children who are not baptized.

Three more days and this shit will be over, folks.

Now it's time to go, because the 4th hour of the Today Show is on and.......yeh.


UPDATE: As much as it pains me, go here. This is Jesusery/douchebaggery at it's finest:



Sarver took down the video from his MySpace and issued this “apology”:

May 18, 2009 11:49 AM
Just want to say to those offended by this video that I am sorry you were offended. I did not intend that. In a world where I love u between guys can mean more then one thing we just wanted to clarify the status of our relationship. It had nothing to do with passing judgement. “