Conservatives To Republicans: STFU

Build your own Blingee




Holy bejesus. People really don't like this Sotomayor lady.

Take Rush Limbaugh and Tom Tancredo:





Yet, the winner in this crazery has to be G. Gordon Liddy, the douche with the molestache that helped plan the whole Watergate deal.

Here's his thoughts on B.A. Barackus' Mexican girlfriend:

Yesterday on his radio show, conservative host G. Gordon Liddy continued the right wing’s all-out assault on Judge Sonia Sotomayor. First, just like Tom Tancredo, Liddy slammed Sotomayor’s affiliation with the civil rights group La Raza — and referred to the Spanish language as “illegal alien“:

LIDDY: I understand that they found out today that Miss Sotomayor is a member of La Raza, which means in illegal alien, “the race.” And that should not surprise anyone because she’s already on record with a number of racist comments.

Finished with the race-based attack, Liddy moved on to denigrate Sotomayor’s gender:

LIDDY: Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when she’s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then.

Finally, Liddy disputed the entire idea that there’s anything wrong with the paucity of women and total lack of Hispanics on the Court:

LIDDY: And everybody is cheering because Hispanics and females have been, quote, underrepresented, unquote. And as you pointed out, which I thought was quite insightful, the Supreme Court is not designed to be and should not be a representative body.





In all this madness, the few conservative minds that haven't been warped by Jesus, Xenophobia, and airplane glue have some advice for their peers.

From Ben Smith:


The memo has clearly gone around, and leading conservative voices this morning urged, with unusual harmony, their fellow partisans to be very, very careful in their attacks on Sotomayor.

Peggy Noonan, inimitably, urges the GOP to "play grown-up":

She is of course a brilliant political pick—Hispanic when Republicans have trouble with Hispanics, a woman when they've had trouble with women. Her background (public housing, Newyorican, Catholic school, Princeton, prominence) is as moving as Clarence Thomas's, and that is moving indeed. Politically she's like a beautiful doll containing a canister of poison gas: Break her and you die.

Steele wants an end to the "slammin' and rammin'" of Sotomayor.

Krauthammer: thinks it's a "teachable moment" on justice and race:

What should a principled conservative do? Use the upcoming hearings not to deny her the seat, but to illuminate her views. No magazine gossip from anonymous court clerks. No "temperament" insinuations. Nothing ad hominem. The argument should be elevated, respectful and entirely about judicial philosophy.

DNC Hires Perez Hilton For Campaign Ad

Is this really the best they can do?

From CNN:

Eager to keep Dick Cheney in the spotlight, the Democratic National Committee released a Web video Wednesday highlighting recent GOP praise for the former vice president's series of television appearances.

Set to Caleb Delamont's Let Me Know That You Love Me, the video shows clips of House Minority Leader John Boehner and Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele praising Cheney's newfound media visibility, even as officials in the Republican party have sought to spotlight a new generation of leadership.

"The Republican Party [hearts] Dick Cheney," the video declares.

Subway Dude Writes Fancy Poem About Some Transvestite

Failed POTUS candidate and Jester for Jesus, Mike Huckabee, has used his website (it's still up?) to write a poem for Nancy Pelosi.

It fun!!!:


Here's a story about a lady named Nancy
A ruthless politician, but dressed very fancy
Very ambitious, she got herself elected Speaker
But as for keeping secrets, she proved quite a "leaker."

She flies on government planes coast to coast
And doesn't mind that our economy is toast
She makes the Air Force squire her in their military jets
There's room for her family, her staff, and even her pets.

Until now, she annoyed us, but her gaffes were mostly funny;
Even though it was painful to watch her waste our tax money.
But now her wacky comments are no laughing matter;
She's either unwilling to tell the truth, or she's mad as a hatter!

She sat in briefings and knew about enhanced interrogation;
But claims she wasn't there, and can't give an explanation.
She disparages the CIA and says they are a bunch of liars;
Even the press aren't buying it and they're stoking their fires.

I think Speaker Pelosi has done too much speaking;
And instead of her trashing our intelligence officials, it's her nose that needs tweaking.

If forced to believe whether the CIA and her colleagues in Congress are lying;
Or it's Speaker Pelosi whose credibility and career is dying.
I believe in the integrity of the men and women who sacrifice to keep us safe;
Not the woman who has been caught flat-footed, lying to our face.

I say it here and I say it rather clear-
It's time for Nancy Pelosi to resign and get out of here.


Wait. Isn't poetry for the fags?

via CNN

Bible Spice Defends That Lady Bigot With The Fake Boobs

Like we didn't know this was coming:


In a strongly worded statement relased late Wednesday, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin defended Miss California Carrie Prejean and ripped into "the liberal onslaught of malicious attacks" against Prejean for her response to a question about gay marriage.

"I can relate as a liberal target myself," Palin said. "What I find so remarkable is that these politically-motivated attacks fail to show that what Carrie and I believe is also what President Obama and Secretary Clinton believe — marriage is between a man and a woman."

Prejean created a stir with her response to a question about gay marriage at last month's Miss USA pageant, questions about her work with gay marriage opponents and nearly nude photos taken of her when she was a teenager put her title in jeopardy.

"I applaud Donald Trump for standing with Carrie during this time. And I respect Carrie for standing strong and staying true to herself, and for not letting those who disagree with her deny her protection under the nation's First Amendment Rights," the former vice presidential candidate said.

"Our Constitution protects us all — not just those who agree with the far left," Palin said.

Well, Who Can Argue With One More Closeted GOP Senator?

Florida's Governer and reigning George Hamilton impersonator Charlie Crist is running away from his wife for Senate!!!

Oh my, how Lindsay Graham must be getting the vapors at the thought of he and Crist, arm in arm, mincing around D.C., balls deep in it's glorious nightlife.

From Politico:

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) will be announcing Tuesday that he will be running for the Senate, according to a source close to the governor, giving Republicans their most high-profile recruit of the 2010 election cycle.

Crist's decision puts Republicans in strong position to hold onto the seat held by retiring Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) Crist holds high approval ratings among both Republicans and Democrats, according to statewide polling, and has forged a moderate governing style that has won him widespread support.

His decision to run came as little surprise to political observers, with the governor and his allies hinting of his interest in running for Congress over the last several months.



Now (and you knew this was coming) Crist has a Twitter page where he announced his candidacy himself...or maybe with the help of his wife as he's still trying to get this twat thing down:

After thoughtful consideration with my wife Carole, I have decided to run for the U.S. Senate.


We're gonna stay on top of the story. It really ought to be a page turner.

Michael Steele Admits Everyone Hates The Mormons

Jigga what? Republican MC Michael Steele said something about Mormos that has pissed Mittens off.

Now there is a war...with words!!!

From CNN:

In an unusual move for the person tasked with being his party's top cheerleader, Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele is shining a light on the political vulnerabilities of one of the GOP's top figures and a likely frontrunner for the 2012 Republican nomination — former presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

Now Romney's team is hitting back.

Steele, guest-hosting on Bill Bennett's radio show Friday, cast doubt on Romney's conservative bona fides and blamed the Republican base for rejecting Romney last year because "it had issues with Mormonism" and was unsure of Romney's commitment to opposing to abortion rights. Those comments aren't sitting too well with Romney's political team.

"Sometimes when you shoot from the hip, you miss the target," said Romney spokesman Eric Ferhnstrom. "This is one of those times."

...The RNC chairman made the comments when responding to a caller who claimed that Romney, if he was the nominee, would have been a stronger candidate against Obama than John McCain. The caller argued that Romney never got a chance to be the nominee because "liberals" and the media pushed hard for McCain to win the Republican nomination.

But Steele disagreed.

"Remember, it was the base that rejected Mitt because of his switch on pro-life, from pro-choice to pro-life," Steele told the caller. "It was the base that rejected Mitt because it had issues with Mormonism. It was the base that rejected Mitt because they thought he was back and forth and waffling on those very economic issues you're talking about."


"So, I mean, I hear what you're saying, but before we even got to a primary vote, the base had made very clear they had issues with Mitt because if they didn't, he would have defeated John McCain in those primaries in which he lost," Steele concluded.

Joe The Plumber Hates, Yet Fears Queermosexuals

Glitter Graphics



Here's a gem from everyone's favorite Intellectuel Moderne, Samuel Wurzelbacher...also known as Joe the Plumber after he dons his cape constructed of American flags stolen from librul public libraries.

From a Christianity Today interview:


Q: In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

A: At a state level, it's up to them. I don't want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it's wrong. People don't understand the dictionary—it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we're supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they're people, and they're going to do their thing.


via shorts

Today's Obligatory Sarah Palin Update

Don't think that Bible Spice is stepping back in to the shadows and, say, run the governent office she was elected to to the best of her ability.

Nah, she's more interesed the familiar subject of embarassing the shit out of teenage girls who find themselves with child...and bypassing her own state legislature at the same time:

Gov. Sarah Palin is backing a ballot measure to bypass the Legislature and make it illegal for teenagers to get an abortion without telling their parents.

The initiative sponsors, including former Lt. Gov. Loren Leman, applied last week to start gathering signatures. The measure would generally forbid a girl under 18 from getting an abortion unless the doctor informed at least one of her parents beforehand.

..."I got a preliminary opinion from Law (Department) just giving me a heads up that critics would certainly file an ethics charge against me if I were to sponsor an initiative. So though I maintain I have First Amendment rights just as any other citizen does, I won't flirt with the notion of giving critics more ammunition to keep filing wasteful ethics charges against me, but instead I'll volunteer to be the first signature," Palin said.

The sponsors can start collecting signatures once Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell certifies the ballot language as legal. The goal is to get the initiative on the ballot for the next primary election, which will be in August 2010. That would require the sponsors to gather at least 32,734 signatures before the legislative session starts in January.

...Palin said in an e-mail sent through her spokeswoman on Sunday that she expects supporting the initiative will prompt an ethics complaint even though she's not a sponsor.

"I acknowledge the 'new normal' we're dealing with today will no doubt see someone filing a charge against me anyway, for exercising my First Amendment rights as a citizen, but I will not hesitate to speak up in support of Alaska's daughters," she wrote.

...The initiative would require parental "notice or consent" before a woman under 18 could have an abortion, unless the teen convinced a court otherwise or there was a medical emergency. There would have to be a 48-hour waiting period after the parent is notified -- but that could be waived if the parent gave consent for the abortion.



Wanna know what Mittens thinks of her?

Catch this:

In the latest instance of a high-profile GOP member taking a passing swipe at the party's 2008 vice presidential candidate, former Massachusetts governor and GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney jokingly dismissed Sarah Palin’s inclusion on Time’s list of influential people in an interview broadcast Sunday.

He asked, was “the issue on the most beautiful people or the most influential people?”



Romney, appearing on CNN’s “State of the Union,” was replying to a question from moderator John King on whether Time’s inclusion of Palin and talk show host Rush Limbaugh on their list of “The World’s Most Influential People” was good or bad for the Republican Party.

Romney, who has not ruled out another White House bid, said he wanted more influential Republicans on the list before adding pointedly: “I think there are a lot more influential Republicans than that would suggest.”

“But was that the issue on the most beautiful people or the most influential people?” he continued. “I'm not sure. If it's the most beautiful, I understand. We're not real cute.”

...Romney’s quip reflects the deep unease among many in the GOP establishment about the continued high-profile of Limbaugh and especially Palin. There is almost a sense of exasperation among many party elites over the media coverage the two polarizing figures get — attention which, in Palin’s case, is widely seen as a product largely of her good looks and tabloid-fodder family troubles.

“She’s bigger in the media than in reality,” lamented GOP consultant Mike Murphy, a longtime friend and adviser to John McCain.

“Palin," he said, "is the only Republican politician right now who is interesting, a little different, connected to the last campaign and related to an occasional story in the National Enquirer.”

Even Meghan McCain Is Throwing Arlen Under The Bus

As reported by everyone yesterday, Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter has switched from the GOP to the baby-eating gay Communist Democratic Party.

While most of the conservative wingnut reactions were expected; Meghan McCain expressed her disdain as well...albeit with a tad more tact:

Let me be clear: I have a lot of respect for Sen. Specter. But I also can't help but feel like he's let us down. I'm sure this was a long, hard decision. The polls were looking very bleak in his primary contest. His probable opponent was nearly 20 points ahead in many polls. And I understand how he’s been made to feel like an outcast by a small, vocal group. Still, this was an opportunity for Specter to hold his ground and set an example for progressive-minded Republicans trying to overcome one of their biggest obstacles: winning the party primaries.

Of course, this speaks to much larger problem in the GOP. We need to attract more centrist and progressive conservative voters at the primary level, so that level-headed candidates stand a chance. We need courageous Republicans more than ever. And this week, Sen. Specter turned his back. But he wasn’t the only one.

Shortly after the senator's announcement, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele released the following statement:

"Some in the Republican Party are happy about this. I am not. Let’s be honest—Senator Specter didn’t leave the GOP based on principles of any kind. He left to further his personal political interests because he knew that he was going to lose a Republican primary due to his left-wing voting record. Republicans look forward to beating Sen. Specter in 2010, assuming the Democrats don’t do it first."

At its core, there is not much different about what the chairman said and what I’ve written here. Specter's decision was most likely motivated by political reasons. But that's where the similarities end. What's left is the same, tired rhetoric conservatives simply cannot seem to get past. Even someone like Mr. Steele—who was elected to be a more inclusive, open voice for Republicans—can’t escape it.


Why can't they all be like this?

Cheers

From today's Meghan McCain piece at The Daily Beast:


This week, I will be speaking at the Log Cabin Republicans' national convention in support of the gay community and its role in the future of the Republican Party. Of all the causes I believe in and speak publicly about, this is one of the ones closest to my heart.

...it isn't just the GOP’s opposition to gay marriage that makes the party seem unwelcoming toward gay voters. It’s the anti-gay rhetoric they use to whip up the base. Recently, a conservative congressman was quoted saying, “If we don't save marriage, we can't remain pro-life." That's absurd. President Obama, for instance, is also against gay marriage—a dirty little secret many of my gay friends were shocked to discover during the presidential campaign. But you’d never know it because he always "sounds" so inclusive.

...I am a woman who despises labels and boxes and stereotypes. Recently, I seemed to have rocked a few individuals within my party by saying that I am a pro-life, pro-gay-marriage Republican. So if anyone is still confused, let me spell it out for you. I believe life begins at conception and I believe that people who fall in love should have the option to get married. Lest we forget, our founding document, the Declaration of Independence, grants the same rights to everyone in this country—“All men are created equal.” If you think certain rights should not apply to certain people, then you are saying those people are not equal. People may always have a difference of opinion on certain lifestyles, but championing a position that wants to treat people unequally isn't just un-Republican. At its fundamental core, it's un-American.

At the end of the day, speaking at the Log Cabin Republicans' convention isn’t just about reaching out to the gay community—although I believe doing so is vital to the future success of the party. It’s also about reaching a wider base and redefining what it means to be Republican, and leaving labels, stereotypes, and negativity by the wayside. That more and more people are discussing gay rights speaks positively for the millions of young and progressive Republicans waiting for our party to return to its roots. Personal freedoms are what makes this country the greatest country in the world. And just like the civil-rights and feminist movements before this, the movement toward gay equality and gay marriage is one I have absolute faith will triumph over prejudices. Moreover, I believe the Republican Party has, at this moment, the opportunity to come forward and play an instrumental role in securing gay rights. That's why I'm speaking at the Log Cabin convention and couldn't be prouder to be doing so. And yes, I'm still a Republican. Get used to it.

GOP Diagnosed With Schizophrenia

Fuck you, liberal media. You say that Republicans don't have a voice. Well...you're wrong.

Just ask the NRSC. They have 41 voices. 41 elderly white voices that quiver on account of the shakes and all.

Morning Dump

Paultards may have found the perfect country for exile.

What's in a name?

Oh please oh please oh please oh please...

Field Trip!!!

West Virginia you say?

Meghan McCain admits that embracing handsome young gentlemen callers is the GOP's Only Hope™

Dick Warz

Make custom Glitter Graphics

From The Hill:

Congressional Republicans are telling Dick Cheney to go back to his undisclosed location and leave them alone to rebuild the Republican Party without his input.

Displeased with the former vice-president's recent media appearances, Republican lawmakers say he's hurting GOP efforts to reinvent itself after back-to-back electoral drubbings.

The veep, who showed a penchant for secrecy during eight years in the White House,has popped up in media interviews to defend the Bush-Cheney record while suggesting that the country is not as safe under President Obama.

Rep. John Duncan Jr. (R-Tenn.) said, “He became so unpopular while he was in the White House that it would probably be better for us politically if he wouldn’t be so public...But he has the right to speak out since he’s a private citizen.”

Another House Republican lawmaker who requested anonymity said he wasn’t surprised that Cheney has strongly criticized Obama early in his term, but argued that it’s not helping the GOP cause.

The legislator said Cheney, whose approval ratings were lower than President Bush’s during the last Congress, didn’t think through the political implications of going after Obama.

Cheney did “House Republicans no favors,” the lawmaker said, adding, “I could never understand him anyway.”

RedState Pretends To Know Gay People

This is just too rich:

President Obama is reportedly set to nominate California Representative Ellen Tauscher for the post of Undersecretary of State for Arms Control and International Security.

If you consult Ms. Tauscher’s biography, her work on arms control and non-proliferation makes its first appearance in the 12th paragraph (in a bio with 14 paragraphs overall). Her work in this area is apparently not as important as her work on Wall Street, her leadership on the Transportation Committee (including getting funding for a tunnel in her district), or her work on public school funding - all of which get prominent mention before non-proliferation issues.

...There’s another interesting thing about Ms. Tauscher: she is the sponsor of legislation to undo the military’s ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ policy. She reintroduced the legislation on March 3 — about two weeks before her nomination was announced. It has 134 cosponsors as of today - nearly one-third of the House, just a few weeks after introduction. When she introduced the bill, she planned to hold hearings to educate the public, and suggested that Secretary Powell could lead the effort to sell repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. It seems as if Ms. Tauscher had done a good job of laying the groundwork for an effort to repeal the measure in the House.

So why did Barack Obama choose to elevate a leader for repealing the ban on gays in the military, to a position where she would lose all influence over the matter?

...If I had supported Barack Obama because he promised to allow gays to serve openly in the military, I sure would be disappointed today. It’s a shame they couldn’t pick someone other than Ms. Tauscher for such an important post.


Thanks for caring.

Levi Johnston Is One Hot Cracker

Sorry, just is.

From GMA:

Levi Johnston, the former fiance of Bristol Palin, says the couple broke up "a week, two weeks" ago but leaves open the possibility that they could reunite.

"We'll see, we'll see how it is," Johnston, 19, said March 13 in an exclusive interview at his Alaska home with Neal Karlinsky of "Good Morning America." "We'll just remain friends for now. We're both cool with that decision, and we'll see."

For the first time, Johnston described the circumstances of his split with Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's eldest daughter, and talked about becoming a father.

"We were just, we were in a fight," the teen said. "And trying to see if we can make things work. But this is what it kind of ended up turning into. But we'll see what happens."

Everyone Throwing Michael Steele Under The Back Of The Bus

Jesus, this guy can't get a break.

The first black RNC chair is under fire by basically every white Republican in the country.

First, they didn't take kindly to his idea of talking to brown people. Then, they didn't like his use of the intertubes. Oh, and that skirmish he had with the bloated, over-medicated douche nozzle.

Now, he's really screwed he pooch by telling GQ, a magazine for closeted men, that abortion should be a decision left to Americans with lady parts:


How much of your pro-life stance, for you, is informed not just by your Catholic faith but by the fact that you were adopted?
Oh, a lot. Absolutely. I see the power of life in that—I mean, and the power of choice! The thing to keep in mind about it… Uh, you know, I think as a country we get off on these misguided conversations that throw around terms that really misrepresent truth.

Explain that.
The choice issue cuts two ways. You can choose life, or you can choose abortion. You know, my mother chose life. So, you know, I think the power of the argument of choice boils down to stating a case for one or the other.

Are you saying you think women have the right to choose abortion?
Yeah. I mean, again, I think that’s an individual choice.

You do?
Yeah. Absolutely.


Earlier in the article, while still stating he doesn't believe in marriage rights for sodomists, they're cool people and it's not their fault they'll spend an eternity in the Lake of Fire:

Let’s talk about gay marriage. What’s your position?
Well, my position is, hey, look, I have been, um, supportive of a lot of my friends who are gay in some of the core things that they believe are important to them. You know, the ability to be able to share in the information of your partner, to have the ability to—particularly in times of crisis—to manage their affairs and to help them through that as others—you know, as family members or others—would be able to do. I just draw the line at the gay marriage. And that’s not antigay, no. Heck no! It’s just that, you know, from my faith tradition and upbringing, I believe that marriage—that institution, the sanctity of it—is reserved for a man and a woman. That’s just my view. And I’m not gonna jump up and down and beat people upside the head about it, and tell gays that they’re wrong for wanting to aspire to that, and all of that craziness. That’s why I believe that the states should have an opportunity to address that issue.

So you think it’s a state issue?
Absolutely. Just as a general principle, I don’t like mucking around with the Constitution. I’m sorry, I just don’t. I think, you know, in a pluralistic, dynamic society as the one that we have, every five years you can have a constitutional convention about something, you know? I don’t think we should be, you know, dancing around and trying to amend it every time I’ve got a social issue or a political issue or a business issue that I want to get addressed. Having said that, I think that the states are the best laboratory, the best place for those decisions to be made, because they will then reflect the majority of the community in which the issue is raised. And that’s exactly what a republic is all about.

Do you think homosexuality is a choice?
Oh, no. I don’t think I’ve ever really subscribed to that view, that you can turn it on and off like a water tap. Um, you know, I think that there’s a whole lot that goes into the makeup of an individual that, uh, you just can’t simply say, oh, like, “Tomorrow morning I’m gonna stop being gay.” It’s like saying, “Tomorrow morning I’m gonna stop being black.”


As expected, the Klan didn't care for these remarks at all:

Steele drew fire from activists Thursday morning for his remarks.

"I think it is very troubling for a public figure, of either party, particularly one who presents himself as pro-life, to describe the abortion issue as being a matter of 'individual choice,'" That is language straight out of Planned Parenthood's messaging playbook," said Charmaine Yoest, the president and CEO of Americans United for Life Action, who said she hadn't heard from the RNC. "There are millions of pro-life Americans, Republican and Democrat, who are looking for leadership on the life issue and they will find Mr. Steele's comments disturbing and demoralizing."

Another anti-abortion activist and sharp critic of President Barack Obama on the subject, Jill Stanek, was even blunter.

"Michael Steele has just unmistakably proclaimed himself to be pro-choice," she said in an email. "You thought he was 'embattled' last week over his Limbaugh comment? Ha. He has now stepped both feet into it."


This forced Steele to backtrack:

I am pro-life, always have been, always will be.

I tried to present why I am pro life while recognizing that my mother had a "choice" before deciding to put me up for adoption. I thank her every day for supporting life. The strength of the pro life movement lies in choosing life and sharing the wisdom of that choice with those who face difficult circumstances. They did that for my mother and I am here today because they did. In my view Roe vs. Wade was wrongly decided and should be repealed. I realize that there are good people in our party who disagree with me on this issue.

But the Republican Party is and will continue to be the party of life. I support our platform and its call for a Human Life Amendment. It is important that we stand up for the defenseless and that we continue to work to change the hearts and minds of our fellow countrymen so that we can welcome all children and protect them under the law.


Now it's rumored that Katon Dawson, the elderly Grand Wizard who came in second to Steele, is organizing a no confidence vote for next week:

Republican insiders tell Political Wire that a no confidence vote on RNC Chairman Michael Steele is likely to be called after the NY-20 special election on March 31 -- regardless of whether Republicans win the seat or not.

Katon Dawson, who came in second in the January RNC vote, is said to be quietly organizing a vote and is getting the support of several state party chairmen who want to dump Steele.


This will probably work and brickbat will have no further interesting stories about the RNC chair because he will be replaced by a boring white guy.

Sigh.

Conservative Hobbit GOP's New Hope™

The NY Times has profiled Jonathan Krohn, the scary tween who gave a rousing speech at CPAC to a room full of drooling pedos and deep-fried Twinkie enthusiasts.

Krohn is your average home-schooled kid from Georgia who learns Latin from a Christian school on Fridays and studies Arabic with a tutor:

SITTING in the back seat of his mother’s van as she drives through Atlanta suburbs, Jonathan Krohn is about to sign off with a conservative radio talk show host in Florida. In the 40 minutes he’s been on the air, with the help of his mother’s cellphone, this hyper-articulate Georgia eighth grader has attacked the stimulus bill, identified leaders he thinks will salvage the Republican Party’s image, and assessed the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

The show’s host chuckles and asks whether President Obama has called Jonathan “a little fascist.”

“The president hasn’t come after me yet,” Jonathan says chummily, “but we’ve had other people come after me!”

“Jonathan!” his mother hisses from the driver’s seat.


Guess mom is still touchy after screening phone calls from Mark Foley.

Even Bill Bennett has a not-so-secret crush on Krohn:

Jonathan would wake up at 6 a.m. to listen to Bill Bennett’s “Morning in America” show and became riveted by politics and American history. Soon, Mr. Bennett, whom Jonathan now describes as, “my mentor and very good friend,” was taking Jonathan’s calls.

“Jonathan was an extraordinary boy, very special,” Mr. Bennett said, in a phone interview. “He wowed my audience, he wowed me. He’s very engaging and learned. He’s got staying power.”


Gross.

This species of hobbit is more complicated than you'd imagine. For one, he is an anti-semitic Jew:

...He received a computer from his maternal grandfather for his 13th birthday. “In the Jewish culture in which my mom was raised, 13 is a big deal,” he said. “But since I’m a Jewish Christian, I don’t do a bar mitzvah.” (Decades ago, his mother became a Baptist.)


Shame on you, Mr. Krohn.

And shame on you, Rush and Michael Steele, for allowing this kid to appear more relevant than both of you, the Mexican Child King, and Bible Spice combined.

President Unicorn will handily win all 50 states in 2012.

Missouri Lawmakers Sign Bill To Fight Mooslim Tyranny

Some Republicans got together and decided that, in these trying economic times, Issue #1 should be outing our Half-Breed Muslin President for the Illuminati Caliph Devil he is. What would be the best way to do that? Amend the state constitution:

Fifteen Republican members of the Missouri General Assembly have signed on to a state constitutional amendment that appears aimed at advancing the claims of the fringe movement that doubts President Barack Obama's eligibility to serve as president.

The language is contained in a proposed "voter’s bill of rights," which would serve "as a defense against corruption, fraud, and tyranny."

The proposed amendment states:

"For candidates who are required by the Constitution of the United States to be natural born citizens, the secretary of state shall request an official copy of the candidate’s birth certificate. Other certifications, such as a certificate of live birth, shall not be accepted. Should any candidate fail to provide an official birth certificate within thirty days of the request by the secretary of state, his or her name shall not be placed on the ballot."

The Birthers, as they're known, have focused on the State of Hawaii's refusal to release the original of Obama's birth certificate, as opposed to official copies; Hawaii state law bars the release of the original.

Young Republicans Gather For Drunken Night Of Sodomy

Famed hipster Grover Norquist organized a sock hop at a D.C. pub for young conservatives, presumably as a ruse to set up a hot night of hookups for his more senior pals.

The wild bacchanal included Dave Matthews music, FOX News on the teevees, and $5 drinks named after some old shitty actor who invented crack and AIDS:

It's early February, and the happy hour at the Union Pub on Capitol Hill is jammed with an unlikely slice of young Washington strivers: conservatives, libertarians, free-market/small-government types, anyone right of center. People, in other words, in their 20s or early 30s who actually groan at the label Generation Obama.

Organized by an employee at the Grover Norquist-led Americans for Tax Reform, the party in the pub's back barroom seems naturally suited for this group: Fox News is playing alongside the Dave Matthews tracks. One drink special, $5 for a down-on-the-heels set, seems almost too perfect a nostalgic prop: "The Gipper," concocted with bourbon.


WaPo interviewed various GOP twinks and they had interesting things to say. Take this from Spencer Barrs, in "intern":

"My best friend called and asked who I voted for and I told him I wasn't voting for Obama," Barrs says. "And then he told me, 'I just think you hate black people.' It was a shot to the gut. You feel like you're surrounded on all corners."

His friend John O'Keefe, 23, another conservative think-tank intern who might be out of a job after his internship ends in May, dismisses his liberal contemporaries. "The only thing they have are blogs. They feel like gods of our generation," he says, before ruminating on a very Washington cure-all. "I'm hoping that people get [angry] at Obama and start forming political action committees."


The best byte comes from Dustin Siggins, whom WaPo pretty much outs as a flaming mo:

At the Union Pub, Dustin Siggins, 24, says he sometimes uses humor to deflect the awkwardness of being on the margins of his generation. "I met a girl today at the gym from Boston College. She was getting a law degree from George Washington. She was cute," he says. "But she wants to work for the ACLU, and I said, 'Oh, you're one of those.' "

Later, in a phone interview, Siggins says he struggles with some of his party's more culturally orthodox ideals. "Because I am in this generation and was raised in a pro-gay-marriage era, I am only a little bit against gay marriage, but only a little, like 53 percent to 47," he says. "I have about a dozen gay friends, 30 or 20, and they would all back me up. In college, I used to have lunch with them. . . . We went ice skating once."

via WaPo

Bobby Jindal To Deliver SOTU Response...In Tongues

Tonight, President Unicorn will be accompanied on the airwaves by fellow Mooslim and known date rapist Piyush "Bobby" Jindal:

Jindal, the 37-year-old governor of Louisiana and the Republican party's new hope, needs to demonstrate confidence and competence - and show a little sparkle - to boost his hopes of being chosen to take on Obama in 2012.

...Being chosen by the Republicans to respond to Obama gives Jindal a significant leg-up over his rivals, offering millions of viewers their first opportunity to see Jindal, who is conservative on both social and economic policy. The high-profile slot in the past has boosted careers but also destroyed them.


So, good luck, our fair Mexican Child King. Fuck this up, and the GOP is stuck with Bible Spice.