Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Today's installment surely stands apart.

One can't help but wonder why this singing twat knows so much about animal buttfuckery.

via tangle

The Internets Just Got Significantly Wierder

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Whoa there! This little masterpiece just took Lambo Cockrissian obsessions to the next level.

Someone on LIVEJOURNAL took the time to write an Adam Lambert/Kris Allen fantasy buttseks mini-series, which turns out to be 100 million words long or so.

As interesting as the fleeting concept may be, this is just regoddamndiculously uncomfortable (NSFW):

He tilts his head down, runs his hand up Kris' back, soothing pressure and guidance, and Kris stands up straighter, pressing against Adam, and Adam licks at his lip because can, and Kris' hand is smoothing along his cheek and neck, tentative, thumb finding the pulse point and Adam laughs against Kris' mouth.

...He kissed him, firmly, then stood to slid his own pants down. He poked at Kris' hip. "Hips, up, lover." And he knows his smile is dark.


We recommend both Lambo and Kris Allen seek a restraining order.

via Part 1 and Part 2

A Children's Treasury Of Horrible Day Of Silence Videos

This past Friday (when your editor was going on 48 hours of no sleep in a Biloxi casino) various gay youths around the world celebrated the Day of Silence, which is a holiday where young homosexuals give their teachers and fellow students a break by shutting the fuck up.

Here's a collection of the worst videos we've found so far:








And for the win: A young Maddow wannabe. See how far you can make it.

Lambo Cockrissian Lands NYT Feature

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From NY Times:

Let’s imagine, then, that among the assorted warblers and strummers and leather-lunged divas that have made up the renewable cast of hopefuls on the country’s No. 1 television show, you appear not as some talented hopeful with a shady backstory but as a theatrical creation with a message to sell beyond the usual will to prevail. You are swivel hipped and pillow lipped. You have an outsize talent and a fondness for Cher. You have blond hair dyed black and styled in an asymmetrical shag. At some long-ago moment, you gave in to your inner Maybelline girl.

You are Adam Lambert, the contestant widely tipped as a favorite to be the next winner of “American Idol.” And the only thing standing between you and riches and the chance to play arenas may be a question currently burning up the Internet: Can a gay contestant win?

Leave aside for a moment the answer to such a question, or even whether Mr. Lambert is gay. He may be. He may not. Fox, which owns “Idol,” is not saying; neither is the contestant himself.

...According to a Gawker post last week, the “applause-o-meter” had Mr. Lambert pulling way ahead. “Might we actually get a Kris/Adam finale?” read the item, referring to Kris Allen, a generic teen idol type with a waxed cowlick and a lopsided smile. “Might, also, we get a Kris/Adam somethin’ else?’ Hah, doubtful. No one sees Adam without his skinsuit on, except maybe that fetching, fey little blond character they keep cutting to and describing as Adam’s ‘friend.’ ”

...America’s heartland, he said, turns out to be politically contiguous to its notoriously liberal coasts. “Iowa is apparently infested with San Francisco values,” he said.

Even the White House made a point of inviting lesbian and gay families to join in an annual Easter Egg Roll.

Thus it seems plausible that a person with more than a toe peeking out of the closet might actually win the most hotly contested singing show on the planet. True, it took six years of public insinuation before Clay Aiken, the popular also-ran from Season 2, made the choice in 2008 to come out. When he did so, however, the anticipated career-stall never happened. The news was greeted with a collective yawn.

“I see us as living in the post-Neil Patrick Harris era,” said Mr. Ehrenstein, referring to the actor who in 2006 trumped online efforts to expose his sexuality by publicly declaring himself gay to People magazine. “He crossed the Rubicon. He did the ‘sudden death’ play. Supposedly you come out and your career is over. He came out and his career is in better shape than it ever was.”



Bonus Video of two old gay pervs a'pervin on Lambo:

Gay video from AfterElton.com

UPDATE:



From NYP:

I am extremely excited for "American Idol" tomorrow, especially given last week's wah-wah performances. Not only will the Top 7 tackle songs featured in films, but they will be mentored by Quentin Tarantino -- the world's most surprising "Idol" fan.

We learned of his addiction to the reality show back when he guest judged in season three, but he didn't actually help the contestants then. This time around, he'll be standing in on practices, and doling out advice. And to those of you who think he has no business critiquing music, I dare you to find another director who turns more undiscovered gems into must repeat iPod tracks!

It's Hard Out There For A Hater

We were totally going to breeze over the above ad released by the National Organization for Marriage because other sites had already covered it. But this is just too rich.

The Washington City Paper has audition tapes, dug up by the HRC, showing that mouth breathers really do have problems sounded out the King's english. Let the hilarity ensue:

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

Finally! Someone summed up the major arguments against gay marriage in under 30 seconds...kinda.

Pastor Mike, a gay internet taint-goblin, made this vidja with the aid of his daughter's Leapfrog to help us understand that the gays Devaluate™ the concept of marriage, which is based on gold and Ron Paul dollars.

via tangle

Marriage Equality Upheld In...WTF...Iowa?

From Ben Smith:

The Iowa Supreme Court today ruled that a ban on same-sex marriage violates the state constitution's equal protection clause, striking down a 1998 state law limiting marriage to a man and a woman.

The ruling makes Iowa the first state in the heartland, and the first key swing state, to legalize same-sex marriage.


This, of course, has Republicans convinced that Iowa is now a Muslim Caliphate that will destroy our Liburteez with buttseks and Pottery Barns:

(From) Western Iowa Rep. Steve King:

This is an unconstitutional ruling and another example of activist judges molding the Constitution to achieve their personal political ends. Iowa law says that marriage is between one man and one woman. If judges believe the Iowa legislature should grant same sex marriage, they should resign from their positions and run for office, not legislate from the bench.

Now it is the Iowa legislature’s responsibility to pass the Marriage Amendment to the Iowa Constitution, clarifying that marriage is between one man and one woman, to give the power that the Supreme Court has arrogated to itself back to the people of Iowa. Along with a constitutional amendment, the legislature must also enact marriage license residency requirements so that Iowa does not become the gay marriage Mecca due to the Supreme Court’s latest experiment in social engineering.


Further info here.

Bruno Trailer

Bruno - International Red Band Trailer

It's Hard Out Here For a Cheeks

via the Youtubes

Lambo's Possible Devilbride Of Sodom In Idol Audience Last Night

Skip to about the 2:30 mark for a peek at who we assume to be Brad Bell / Cheeks along with some hot twinkbot with long blonde hair.

Btw, who was that twinkbot? Hmm? Hmm? Lambo, you are a nasty bad naughty boy.

Bonus video: James Dobson was right. The gays DO recruit...

Meh

Adam Lambert Play that Funky Music Video from Fernando Vivanco on Vimeo.

RedState Pretends To Know Gay People

This is just too rich:

President Obama is reportedly set to nominate California Representative Ellen Tauscher for the post of Undersecretary of State for Arms Control and International Security.

If you consult Ms. Tauscher’s biography, her work on arms control and non-proliferation makes its first appearance in the 12th paragraph (in a bio with 14 paragraphs overall). Her work in this area is apparently not as important as her work on Wall Street, her leadership on the Transportation Committee (including getting funding for a tunnel in her district), or her work on public school funding - all of which get prominent mention before non-proliferation issues.

...There’s another interesting thing about Ms. Tauscher: she is the sponsor of legislation to undo the military’s ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ policy. She reintroduced the legislation on March 3 — about two weeks before her nomination was announced. It has 134 cosponsors as of today - nearly one-third of the House, just a few weeks after introduction. When she introduced the bill, she planned to hold hearings to educate the public, and suggested that Secretary Powell could lead the effort to sell repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. It seems as if Ms. Tauscher had done a good job of laying the groundwork for an effort to repeal the measure in the House.

So why did Barack Obama choose to elevate a leader for repealing the ban on gays in the military, to a position where she would lose all influence over the matter?

...If I had supported Barack Obama because he promised to allow gays to serve openly in the military, I sure would be disappointed today. It’s a shame they couldn’t pick someone other than Ms. Tauscher for such an important post.


Thanks for caring.

On Lambo's Awkward Night

Short version:

It was Grand Ole Opry week, and Adam Lambert chose Ring of Fire.

Randy Travis was the "mentor" and proceeded to try and convince America you can get AIDS and the gay from black nail polish. Lambo's choice of a "Middle Eastern kind of flair" on the song did everything but push Travis to the breaking point of tying the Gay Emodemon to a fencepost in Wyoming. Watch the vid for catchy Randy Travisisms like "I don't even know what to say about this boy".

Also, we're pretty sure that was Cheeks/Brad Bell shown in the audience with the caption "ADAM'S MOM AND FRIENDS".

dlisted's Michael K went off:

Why didn't Johnny Cash appear in a ring of fire to punch Adam Lambert in the mouth and then burn that "Mad Max gone wrong" jacket over his body?! Adam's performance of "Ring of Fire" made my ring of fire (I'm putting cream on it) throb in pain. Bitch gets an A+ in trytoohardy, but if you weren't smoking some of Paula Abdul's secret recipe through a hookah, you were probably trying to figure out what the hell was going on up there. Paula was definitely the only ho who was on board with that shit. You would be too if a magic carpet appeared at your feet and flew you through Adam Lambert's boyfriend's sparkly sweater during that slaughter-filled performance.

It was like orgy music that will make your peen go limp. Speaking of, when Adam tried to bring on the sexy, I had to go to Bible.com, put my hand on the screen and pray that I never experience anything like that ever again. That being said, Adam needs to stay. Well, that glittery Shrek creature with Sonic the Hedgehog hair is at least making me feel something. The rest of those boring bores only make me crave oatmeal made with tap water.


The performance was also panned by Rolling Stone.

Sorry, Lambo Cockrissian. Try again next week.

Lambo Shamelessly Destroying American Marriages

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A golden editorial from The Daily Rake:

If you are a heterosexual male and haven’t seen Adam Lambert’s insane mastery of song and dance on American Idol, then you’ve never really had your natural inclinations towards women put to the test. Consider this a warning. Mr. Lambert will groove his way into the deepest, darkest recesses of your being until you look down and are surprised to see that you still have a penis. How exactly does he operate? Nobody knows yet. All I know is that 15 minutes ago I was totally imagining an adult encounter with Lil Rounds and now there is ambiguity in the situation. So now I’m left trying to pick up the pieces of my manhood and figure out what just happened.


Do read the entire piece.

IKEA Spokesperson "Contemporary" Oscar Wilde

Polish Catholic letter writers got the smackdown from IKEA after complaining about homosexual Devilgoats appearing in the catalog:

“Homosexuality is one of the essential elements of living in contemporary society.”

Official IKEA spokesperson’s response to pressure from grumpy Polish Catholics (namely a letter writing campaign) who had a hoo haa because they wanted queer couples removed from the IKEA catalog. The item in question was, according to The Ikea Fans Blog the most recent “IKEA Family Live 2009 publication, 12 archetypes of different family makeup are presented under the slogan ‘Family life is changing … Welcome to the new era.’ One of the 12 example families presented is Ian and Steve, page 54 -57 (see item 1 and item 2), who have no interest in having children, but enjoy their IKEA Kitchen and herb garden and their awesome digs.


via jockohomo

The Fuck Did You Just Say To Me?

Wow.

Here's an interview with Rachel Maddow by George Wayne (DISCLAIMER: THIS GUY IS FUCKING CREEPY) of Vanity Fair:



Anyway, Miss “Cable Queen,” as Vogue calls you, do you suffer from any paraphilia?
Paraphilia?

Listen to this saucy pedant. Paraphilia is having a rare erotic fetish. Perhaps you may indulge in eproctophilia?
Duh?

Darling! Eproctophiliacs are those sexually turned on by farts and farting!
That word actually exists?

It is the current rage of Mayfair high society in jolly, kinky London. G.W. will admit to his Caesarophilia—erotic fascination with royalty. Especially that redhead Prince Harry. G.W. has been fantasizing more than ever of tossing that royal salad. I would floss every strand of that red burr to perfection!
He did just break up with his girlfriend.

Exactly. Prince Harry is single and now ready for his bi-flingual.
He’s getting a little tummy.

At least he’s not losing all his hair like William. By the way, before your Peacock Network makeover, didn’t you have a dyke-stache?
A what?

Facial hair over your lip—a dyke-stache.
I never had any facial hair in my life.

Thank you for that clarification, darling. And thank you for such a wonderful meeting!


via HuffBlow

Suck It, Blindy.

You too, faker.

Lambo raped the stage and every other contestant on Idol last night.

Also, here's an LA Times article from a few days ago touching on the Adam Lambert gay boyfriend thingy:

There's been some joking on various websites that this year's most flamboyant front-runner, Adam Lambert, will perform Jackson's early '90s hit "In the Closet" as a response to recently leaked photographs of him kissing a man and dressed in glamour-queen drag.

...The closet metaphor most often applies to hidden homosexual identities, and that's certainly a hot button issue for "Idol." The show has drawn its own curtain around apparently gay contestants over the years. So far, Lambert has been as matter-of-fact about his orientation as possible without actually uttering the word "gay" on camera. He's poised, doing his little dance around a major aspect of his private life; he's not the first to have to do so.

...Within a painfully immodest pop universe, "Idol" stands as a champion of family values -- and of the endangered naughty giggle. The banter between the show's male regulars, especially host Ryan Seacrest and judge Simon Cowell, is steeped in an outdated frat-boy homophobia that is never funny and often deeply uncomfortable. You'd think that the formal protest lodged in 2006 by the gay-rights organization GLAAD would have put a stop to such antics, but they've just kept coming.

"Idol's" closet contains much more than sexuality, though. It includes language differences, religious affiliation and its contestants' complex family lives. The daring Lambert might break down the wall of homophobia this season, but it's just as likely one of the show's several Christian worship leaders, including Lambert's main male rival Danny Gokey, will push the producers to let fundamentalist Christianity out of the box in which it's not very well contained.


UPDATE:

While writing this post, we were casually listening to the 4th grueling hour of The Today Show, hosted by that annoying twat and the drunken Mooslim.

After bouncing around from Cats to Billy Elliot to dirty contact lenses, they start in on Idol. Hoda starts giving Lambo praise, and Kathie Lee interrupts and says he reminds her of "Aerosmith....no, Steve Perry....no, Journey."

Really?

You can suck it too, Kathie Lee.

Last Lambo Boyfriend Update...Maybe/Possibly/Probably Not

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Access Hollywood is reporting that Adam Lambert claims he is single:

Fortunately for him, Adam Lambert is not one to back down from a controversy.

The “American Idol” finalist handily addressed the recent photo scandal where votefortheworst.com posted pictures of him dressed in drag and kissing another man.

“You know what, I have nothing to hide. I am who I am. And this is about singing… nothing else,” Adam told Accesshollywood.com’s Laura “Dish of Salt” Saltman at last night’s Top 13 party.

For the record, Adam said he is currently single. When he spoke with Access last week, the photos had not yet surfaced and Adam admitted he had been Google-ing himself while competing on the show to see what people were saying about him.

“That came back to bite me, didn’t it,” he joked.

And yes, he did Google himself when he heard about the photos.

“When my parents, family and friends told me too, I did. I live here in Hollywood, you know. All about free expression. It’s all in the name of art,” he added.

The photos in question were taken at the “Burning Man” arts festival held in the California desert each summer.


Geno's World, who claims to be in contact with associates of Cheeks/Brad Bell, begs to differ:

Geno's World has an exclusive response to an Access Hollywood report from 1 hour ago. Adam had talked to AH about his kissing photos that hit the web of him and "Cheeks". The report says Adam is currently single.....NOT SO says a close associate of "Cheeks". "Oh no, they still see each other. They're still together!".....Stay tuned

Adam Lambert Secrets Revealed!!!

Known emohomosexual deviant Adam Lambert's sin against nature is getting a lot of attention these days. Since we really dig the kid, we're jumping on the bandwagon.

The Inquisitr dug up the above video of Lambo Cockrissian getting felt up by a coven of writhing sodomists, along with another video of him dry humping male negro dancer.


Further, Geno's World claims that the man Lambo is swapping spit and gay with in the photos posted yesterday is a performance artist named Cheeks, also known as Brad Bell:




Adam Lambert has made it to the final 12 of this year's "American Idol". The guy has got tremendous talent and will go far. Pictures of Adam kissing another man have recently surfaced all over the web. The question remained.....who is the mysterious man? Well the man is............ Brad Bell aka "Cheeks" a music star in his own right! Geno's World has been in contact with Brad's people and is hoping for an interview soon. One of Brad's people told me that "Brad doesn't want to mess with Adam's chances in Idol. His main concern right now is to support Adam and give him his 100% support and love!"

Either way, we fully endorse Adam as the next American Idol and hope he stomps the shit out of the blind guy who's faking it and the guy that made up the story about his wife dying.

More pics of Lambo's possible bf here, along with some surprisingly good music and funny videos.

No Surprises Here

Idol contestant Adam Lambert made it to the final 12 last week, but pictures that have recently surfaced may test the majority of America's tolerance towards teh buttseks.

From Tabloid Prodigy:

Big surprise everyone: American Idol’s makeup loving, fingernail polished pretty boy, Ryan Seacrest Adam Lambert, is a big homosexual. Or as Simon would say, he’s theatrical.
And he’s got awesome gay friends who've released scantily clad, fagalicious photos of him wearing makeup and flamboyant clothes. True, he looks like a club kid fag all the time on Idol. But in these photos, you can see him swapping spit bubbles with his fellow skinny, twinky boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.

Check out his gallery of regretable gayness at Dudetube.