Listen To This Slut Talk About Not Engaging In Sluttery

Good Morning America! Here is Alaskan teen crackers' fav cum dumpster, Bristol Palin, rapping about the sex and how it's a bad thing to do. Even though she has sexed many many Eskimo meth manufacturers.

Bristol is now the Teen Ambassador for an organization called "Candie's Foundation" which is an online cathouse for white trash. She wants teens to stop having sex....right now!

Not to be outdone, Levi "you know you think about me in the shower" Johnston appeared on CBS this same morning to say abstinence might be cool and all (for losers), but sometimes you just can't help where you put it......even if it's in the portal to one of our universe's famed genetic junkyards:


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Today's Paultard Video

If you can make sense of what this 9/11 truther hobbit is talking about...write us.

When will they allow waterboarding in schools?

via Middle-earth

A Children's Treasury Of Horrible Day Of Silence Videos

This past Friday (when your editor was going on 48 hours of no sleep in a Biloxi casino) various gay youths around the world celebrated the Day of Silence, which is a holiday where young homosexuals give their teachers and fellow students a break by shutting the fuck up.

Here's a collection of the worst videos we've found so far:








And for the win: A young Maddow wannabe. See how far you can make it.

Today's Godtube/tangle Moment

via tangle

Father of the Year Nominee

Dad jumps on the opportunity to fuck with his 7 yo kid after a visit to the dentist.

This seems eerily similar to my NYE ride home in the back of a taxi.

via Tabloid Prodigy

Gay Penguins Wrecking Families At Chinese Zoo

It seems that a couple of sodomist Spheniscidae are stealing babies from their hetero ilk, replacing the eggs with stones...proving straight animals, no matter what their species, are that stupid:

The two penguins have started placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs, in a bid to hide their theft.

But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracised the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.

A keeper at Polar Land in Harbin, north east China explained that the gay couple had the natural urge to become fathers, despite their sexuality.

Not To Be Outdone....

A bunch of young [redacted] from Ron Clark Academy, a Mooslim art madrassah located in ATL fully funded by BRAVO, made up a gangsta rap song about the election...which led to the deaths of one of John McCain's Navy friends and the rest of Jennifer Hudson's family :(

John McCain Is Really Turning Into A Cunt

via TPM

The Obama Youth

So, um, yeh. This is the first St. Barack thing that really freaks me the fuck out.

via the Youtubes

Today's Godtube Moment

Yeh, maybe this is mean and in bad taste.......but skip to 4:30 for the money shot.

No Bitter Child Left Behind

via BraveNewFilms

Children Are Our Future....Unfortunately

From First Time Voters:

To explore this potentially historic turnout by people age 18 to 24, The Journal News and LoHud.com have prepared a special multi-media report on First-time Voters in which we hear young people's concerns in their own words online and in print. We also asked new citizens voting for the first time to share their experiences, and more seasoned voters to share their memories of their first votes in a presidential election.

Here's Michael from New York.