Obama Harshes America's Buzz

Good crikey Jiminy Christmas fuck. This guy again.

President Unicorn has not been told that the election is over and he won. Because of this, he still travels around the country while Tim Geithner & Co. are left in charge to plot new horrible ways to force us in to unemployment office lines.

Today, Obama held a virtual Town Hall meeting, taking questions from various robots of the future.

The question that has gotten the most attention came from an android named "Jared" who was just laid off by the fat cats at Skynet. Jared v.1.3 asked if it would be cool to grow a marijuana garden, just like the POTUS already has.

The response:

"No, I don’t think that is a good strategy to grow our economy," he said.




Guess pot won't be legal until we can come up with real patriotic slogans for it like Freedom Fried or Liberty Leaves.

The Obama Youth

So, um, yeh. This is the first St. Barack thing that really freaks me the fuck out.

via the Youtubes

Got 2 Hours To Spare?

Eat some crazy.

Today's Godtube Moment

ElijahJohn888 is back with more wierd shit to say. This time, it's about his vision of the Rapture, which is the date that this Jesus person comes to Earth and takes all the crazies back to Heaven so they no longer kill our buzz.

Elijah, if you want people to take your visions seriously, don't tell us they happened while on a road trip in 1968. And don't post them on Godtube at 12am.

via Godtube

The End?

Idol judges throw Jason Castro under the bus.

May be the last episode I watch of the show.

Syesha bores me.

David Cook is a pompous cover artist.

David Archuleta annoys the shit out me with that fake Disney G-movie act. He is a eunuch.


UPDATE:

For what it's worth, Castro now has his own doll.

From dlisted:



The shit above is a doll someone made of Jason Castro. They put it up on eBay. They forgot to add the most important thing. His bong!!!! Methinks that evil (and delicious) demon, marijuana, had a lot to do with his performance last night. This is why potheads and live television do NOT mix. So, Jason Castro effed up big time by completely forgetting the words to one of my favorite Dylan tunes, "Mr. Tambourine Man." My drunk ass even knew the lyrics! I was singing along and kept going when he fucked up and I'm not even competing for a damn record contract!

This dumb bitch let the weed fuck him up! Hey, it happens. People won't care if he messes up his lyrics when he's singing for quarters in the subway in a couple of months. Aww....Castro is such a lovable pothead, but get thee shit together! You know Castro and Paula Abdul do bong hits in the "green" room. It ain't called the green room for nothing.

We're Back

Sometimes, it's just a good idea to step out of this whole election news bullshit to get perspective on the real world.

Maybe it was the continuous sniping of the candidates. Maybe it was the ever-flowing verbal diarreah out of the mouths of cable news talking heads. More thank likely it was the fact that if I saw that yellow fucking pantsuit one more time I would have wrapped my mouse cord around my neck and ended it all.

So, that being said, here are some non-news things we here at brickbat learned over the extended extended weekend:

1) Elderly people are are actually tolerable at casinos. Not nasty at all. Probably due to the combination of medication and flashing lights.

2) If you look like you're 16, expect half of your time at a casino to be filled with showing pit bosses and leggy cocktail waitresses your I.D. The other half of your time will be filled waiting for the same leggy waitress to bring you your fucking drink.

3) You can only get your money's worth out of $22 buffets by slamming mimosas. It def won't be gotten by eating the food.

4) Slot machines are ridiculous these days. Too many buttons. Since when do I have to hit 3 buttons and then pull a lever, hoping to match 5 Jango Fetts just to win $5?

5) Never follow 12 hours continuous hours of gambling by going to some hippy music fest in the woods.

6) If you do, never audibly make fun of Ron Paul unless you wanna get the stank eye the rest of the night by a bunch of dirty wannabe hippies.

7) Hippies can't stand silence. If a band stops, drum circles begin. Immediately.

8) You can't escape politics by going to said music fest. All bands hate W, war machines, the federal reserve, and most things that do not involve L. Ron Paultard.

9) Hippies are actually dirty filthy people who don't pick up trash, and therefore hate Mother Earth.

10) I'm getting older because I hate hippies.

Fucking Hippies

Yesterday, a bunch of stinky whiney hippies decided to protest the Iraq war. Wonkette was on the case:

Simple and subtle. Best of the day. Thank you for drawing this masterpiece of crayon for us, Senator David Vitter. We'll change your diaper shortly.

They also had great coverage of the D.C. clusterfuck here, here, and here.

via Wonkette