Louisiana

53 - 39.

A good night for Barry.

via ABC

Satanists Invade Navarre

Psychic Wiccan crazies take time out from marching for L. Ron Paultard in WoW to hold a good old fashioned Jeebus-hating jamboree.



via NWF Daily News

Saturday Night Rufus

Washington

As of now, Barack 67. Hillz 32.

via CNN

Artist or Ape?

Take the test.

via Sully

Nebraska

Barry wins 69 - Thundercunt's 31.

via Omaha World-Herald

Info on a Brokered Convention

Even after Super Tuesday, there's no apparent frontrunner on the Dem side. Delegates have been split pretty much evenly and will more than likely stay that way.

So what happens then?

Ed Kilgore breaks down what would happen at a brokered convention.

via Talking Points Memo

So....About That Waterboarding?

When is this atrocity on mankind going to go away? Why won't my country exercise useful interrogation techniques?

I've touched on this before. But, the situation seems to be getting worse.

The homosexual community has enough problems on it's own without the advertised ignorance of one of it's own.

In fact, can we have a sexual orientation draft? You know, like on Chapelle Show. We trade this douchebag for.........I dunno............Hayden Christensen. Or Freddy Rodriguez.

Tell you what, for a limited time offer, we'll throw in Sir Elton, Rosie, and Tom Cruise as an added bonus just for one of those.

No?

I had a feeling you'd say that.

Teh Huckabeez Win Kansas

Even though Juan McCain has pretty much wrapped things up on the GOP side, Subway dude pulls off a win in Kansas.

via NY Times

Saturday Youtubery

Jeebus, Ransom, and Weiners

via Jesus' General

A Day At The Fair

Not Just Hope

From Sully:

...defending Clinton on the grounds of "experience" and "substance" is a fairy tale on both counts, if you pardon the expression. Her legislative experience is one term longer than Obama's (and that's if you don't count Obama's state legislative record), is notable mainly for its uninspired diligence in constituency work, and on the most important issue of the day, Iraq, simply wrong. Her main executive branch experience was destroying a historic opportunity for healthcare reform through arrogance, secrecy and over-reach. Her "substance" claim is just as phony. There is no detail in her policy apparatus that isn't matched by Obama's. But you've heard a lot from me on this. Here's a video that shows a conservative cynic being slowly and rationally disarmed by the logic of young, shrewd voter.

A vote for Obama is a vote for reason over sentiment. Check it out:



via Sully

HOLY SHIT

Today, more than 23,000 representatives of private industry are working quietly with the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security. The members of this rapidly growing group, called InfraGard, receive secret warnings of terrorist threats before the public does-and, at least on one occasion, before elected officials. In return, they provide information to the government, which alarms the ACLU.


Okay.............


“The meeting started off innocuously enough, with the speakers talking about corporate espionage,” [a businessman said]. “From there, it just progressed. All of a sudden we were knee deep in what was expected of us when martial law is declared. We were expected to share all our resources, but in return we’d be given specific benefits.” These included, he says, the ability to travel in restricted areas and to get people out.
But that’s not all.

“Then they said when-not if-martial law is declared, it was our responsibility to protect our portion of the infrastructure, and if we had to use deadly force to protect it, we couldn’t be prosecuted,” he says.

Someone hold me.

via The Progessive

9/11 Secrets Revealed

Gold.

via Wonkette

Yeh, About Those Science Books.....

One thing I learned real quick after moving to the Gulf Coast was that the newspapers down here are repositories of Grade A entertainment. A continuous cycle of stories about teh gayz, cry babies not wanting bridges built in their backyard, blue hairs bitching about how much homeowner's insurance is, and......wait for it......wait for it.........evolution.

Back in December, the Florida State Board of Education promised to take a stronger endorsement of evoution in school curriculum:

The Florida State Board of Education writes numerous learning goals for all subjects at each grade level. Though the subject of evolution is contentious, it represents a small part of the science curriculum.

Following are some examples of proposed benchmarks regarding evolution.

Kindergarten : “Observe and describe similarities and differences among different types of plants and among different types of animals.”

Seventh grade : “Recognize and describe that fossil evidence is consistent with the idea that human beings evolved from earlier species.”

High school : “Identify basic trends in hominid evolution from early ancestors six million years ago to modern humans.”

And now, unto us, a saviour is born .

Meet State Rep. Marti Coley.



Let the Daily News explain:

State Rep. Marti Coley has asked the State Board of Education to put the word “theory” back in evolution.

She has requested that the board vote to “refer to evolution as a theory” when it adopts new state standards for science education later this month, according to a news release from Coley’s office.

If the board fails to heed her request when it votes on the new standards Feb. 19, Coley said she’ll consider introducing legislation to have “theory” inserted.

Lovely. Let's put another piece of bullshit legislation up for vote.

For lawmakers in Florida.

Florida lawmakers left unattended while our governor is traveling with Juan McCain on Charlie and WALNUTS! Excellent Border Crusade to Sneak in Gay Messicans.

Not all is lost. That's where the newpaper comes in. Wendy Victoria delivers, as usual:

Like every child before them, they will find their way through the contradictions between what they learn in church and what they learn in school. This will not be the first or last time they have to figure out how to seam the two together.

And one word -- any word -- is not going to resolve that complex issue

I heart Wendy.

via NWF Daily News

Celebrating The Downfall of L. Ron Paultard

Open Your Trunk.....Aaaaaaaand Your Mouth While You're At It

In an effort to find Redneck Dexter, Daytona Beach officials will start asking drunken drivers to submit to DNA testing:

The Public Defender's Office says the lines between voluntarily giving DNA and believing it's required by law when you're under arrest are easily blurred.

Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood, however, is determined.

"We're going to be swabbing people we arrest," Chitwood said, referring to the method police will use to obtain voluntary DNA samples from people. "It (the process) will follow all the legal requirements for it to stand up in court."

Scary.

via DBNJ

Note to Margaret Cho: STFU

In a long standing HuffPo tradition of allowing totally unqualified douchebags write blogs for their site, I give you teh gayz favorite Celestial:

I am bi-candidate. I like Hillary and Obama. I like Obama and Hillary. I think it is wonderful that we have not just one, but two great candidates to choose from. It is an embarrassment of riches really. Not just one amazing politician. But two! We have the incredibly exciting Barack Obama, who represents hope and change and who can get a whole generation of disillusioned voters excited about politics again, which I think I is a miracle in itself. Then we have the amazing Hillary Clinton, who has already proved herself to be a great leader, who can and will clean up after the Bush administration just like she did the last time she was president.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

via HuffPo

MST3K Returns!

Kinda.

I was always a huge fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Still am. Thank Jeebus for Blockbuster Online.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, and therefore hate America, here's a taste:



io9 reports:

If you've been missing Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever since it went off the air, you're in luck. Longtime fans of the movie-riffing series know that its original star Joel Hodgson left the show in 1993, when it was at the height of popularity. Mike Nelson, the head writer for the series, took over and it lasted another six years before finally going off the air in 1999. Almost ten years later, Joel and most of the original crew including Trace Beaulieu (Crow), J. Elvis Weinstein (Tom Servo), Frank Conniff (TV's Frank) and Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester) have returned in the form of Cinematic Titanic, and it's awesome.

The show doesn't air online or on any channel (yet), but you can order the newly available pilot episode The Oozing Skull from their website. The gang doesn't build gizmos or robots this time (unfortunately), but they do appear onscreen in silhouette and riff on movies. It's great just to hear everyone together again, even if we do miss terribly the characters of Tom Servo, Crow, and the Satellite of Love.

via io9

Censored Count

via Sully

"I want the man to hope all over me."

From Joel Stein:

You are embarrassing yourselves. With your "Yes We Can" music video, your "Fired Up, Ready to Go" song, your endless chatter about how he's the first one to inspire you, to make you really feel something -- it's as if you're tacking photos of Barack Obama to your locker, secretly slipping him little notes that read, "Do you like me? Check yes or no." Some of you even cry at his speeches. If I were Obama, and you voted for me, I would so never call you again.

Obamaphilia has gotten creepy. I couldn't figure out if the two canvassers who came to my door Sunday had taken Ecstasy or were just fantasizing about an Obama presidency, but I feared they were going to hug me. Scarlett Johansson called me twice, asking me to vote for him. She'd never even called me once about anything else. Not even to see "The Island."

via LA Times

Hillary's Clap

Chris Matthews delves into Hillary's clapping obsession.

via Jezebel

CPAC Wrap Up

W says Darth Cheney is teh bestest Vice President in history:



Mittens cuts and runs from the election, and pretty much says that communist lady and her terrorist Kenyan friend are going to destroy America:



Juan "WALNUTS!" McCain gets booed for loving gay Messicans. Then the audience erupts in applause, I'm assuming when a 12yo boy walked in:

Kissing A Dude: 20 Points

From Towleroad:

Rockstar's "Bully" videogame received a lot of attention in 2006 when it was discovered that its main character, presumably homophobic bully Jimmy Hopkins (a difficult student with a delinquent record) could be made to kiss other male students. This, of course, played off of theories that the most homophobic among males were reacting to suppressed homosexual tendencies.



This got Christian conservatives really riled up. At the time, Christian watchdog Jack Thompson, known for his crusades against violence and obscenity in media, to condemn the game's maker as well as Entertainment Software Review Board president Patricia Vance, to whom he wrote a letter that said: "Dear Ms. Vance, We just found gay sexual content in Bully, as Jimmy Hopkins makes out with another male student. Good luck with your 'Teen' rating now, Patty."

Imagine how cranked Thompson will get now when he discovers that in the newest, enhanced "Scholarship Edition" of Bully, one of the eight new goals of the main character is to "receive 20 kisses from the gents," earning him an "Over the Rainbow" achievement award..



via Towleroad

Intertubes Starting To Scare Me

I love Youtube. It's an endless treasure chest of assholes, wierdos, agoraphobes, paultards, and WoW losers plugging away on the interwebs with cheeto stained fingers.

But these webtards are getting a little out of control.

From Gawker:

Guess what, you're losing your bashing privileges!" A boy using the name broncfn90 yells at the YouTube commenters who ripped him apart. All he did was come on this site to give his opinions on the Denver Broncos! And they all disrespected him! But seriously, this poor kid had explained on video that his face has been half-paralyzed since birth, and the commenters still came at him. Now his videos (which were reposted by his detractors after he deleted his account) are making the rounds at 4chan, that pit at the bottom of the Internet, and broncfn90 might become a mini-Chris Crocker. Come see a boy gone mad. Plus a bonus video from the vaults, of a teen girl crying over YouTube comments. The takeaway, as if you didn't know: YouTube users are scum and reading their comments will turn you into a whiny pile of impotent rage.

Here's the videos. Worth the watch, trust:







As soon as this is posted, I'm running to get a vasectomy.

My advice is that we all just stick to XTube.

via Gawker

GOP Not Alone in Kid Diddling

Carl McGee was busted for blowing a 15yo boy in a steam room Florida. McGee is assistant secretary for policy for the Governor of Massachusetts.

Wonkette reports:

The perp: Carl Stanley “Tits” McGee, Governor Deval Patrick’s assistant secretary for policy and planning and notorious Boston dandy. Allegedly he blew a 15-year-old boy in a steam room at the swank Gasparilla Inn & Club in Boca Grande. The boy reported the incident, McGee was arrested, and did we mention that this all happened over a month ago?

Yes, this all “went down” on December 28. The Boca Beacon and its blog, the aptly named Boca Nut Telegraph, wrote about it in January. McGee was placed on administrative leave January 7 while his coworkers in Boston were told he was “out sick.” [For a month?? -ed.] The Boston Globe reported the story today and now we bring this very important information to you, the reader.

So far, it's all starting to sound familier. Except for this nugget:

In a refreshing twist on the old “hypocrite gay” theme, McGee is a Democrat and an actual supporter of gay marriage. His own blessed nuptials were widely publicized in The New York Times two years ago. So, there’s that.

If aping GOP indescretions is the best Dems can do to get back in the White House, it's gonna be a loooooooong year.

Side Note: What kind of parent lets their 15yo kid go to a steam room in some uppity Gulf Coast resort, knowing that rich weirdo Tim Gunn look-alikes are lurking in the mist? Yikes.

Carry on.

via Wonkette

Ode To Mittens

Mittens, We Hardly Knew Thee

DAY FUCKING RUINED!!!

Mittens just suspended his Space Christian quest to become our Supreme Mormo Overlord:

John McCain effectively sealed the Republican presidential nomination on Thursday as chief rival Mitt Romney suspended his faltering presidential campaign. "I must now stand aside, for our party and our country," Romney told conservatives.
"If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror," Romney told the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington.

WTF?

Now we're left with Barry Hussein, Thundercunt, and WALNUTS! who are all regular Jeebus folks.

No more Scientology, magic underwear, genital washing, or Space Jeebus jokes. I'm at a loss for words.

Somewhere, Rush Limbaugh is sobbing while downing a full bottle of Oxycontin. I feel his pain.

Mittens, this is for you:



via Breitbart

Starting Thursday Off Right

A blogger just got back from the Maycraft Carrier, a cruise with John Mayer:

Someone brought up a wad of bright green fabric, which turned out to be a replica of the bathing suit/man thong that Borat wears in the movie. Un-freaking-real. So we're all hooting and hollering and egging him on, and.... he puts on the effing suit. Yes, folks, I witnessed John Mayer in a man thong. It pretty much made my life.

via thatsblogtastic

Today's Godtube Moment

Ribbons the Clown

Ted Haggard Quits Gayhab

Meth Head/Companion of Male Prostitutes Ted Haggard has quit his rehab program for de-gayification. Colorado Confidential reports:

Technically, it only took three weeks of intensive "restoration" a full year ago to make Ted Haggard a "complete heterosexual." But on Tuesday night, the new pastor of the Colorado Springs megachurch that Haggard founded has announced that Haggard is quitting the team -- and that "the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete."

Here's the press release by the new pastor of New Life Church:

Dear New Life Church family and friends,
Today, our church's board of trustees will release a statement regarding the end of the restoration process for Ted Haggard. This process may receive some media attention, and I want you to hear of it from us before you read about it in the newspaper or hear it on the evening news.

Let's continue to pray for Ted, Gayle, and their family.

God bless you,

Brady Boyd
Senior Pastor
New Life Church
Colorado Springs, CO

--
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Ted Haggard's leadership of New Life Church for many years was extraordinary and the depth of spiritual maturity that is found today in the church is in large part attributed to his leadership as the founding senior pastor.

In January 2007, Ted Haggard voluntarily agreed to enter a process of spiritual restoration. He has selected Phoenix First Assembly and Pastor Tommy Barnett as his local church fellowship and is maintaining an accountability relationship there. He has recently requested to end his official relationship with the New Life Church Restoration Team and this has been accepted by them.

New Life Church recognizes the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete and maintains its original stance that he should not return to vocational ministry. However, we wish him and his family only success in the future.

Because spiritual restoration is a necessarily confidential process, the church does not anticipate that it, or its Overseers or Restorers, will make further comment about it.

Basically, New Life is pretty much done with the embarrassment of their former jizz funneling overlord.

Since leaving the church, Haggard has moved his family to Phoenix, where he has set up a non-profit to send he and his wife to the University of Phoenix to get psychology degrees while they live in a halfway house for other tina snorting finger puppets.

Hell, let's read a letter from last August that Teddy sent to a consumer reporter:

Tak,
Gayle and I, along with Alex (16) and Elliott (14) have decided to move into the Phoenix Dream Center on October 1st. The Phoenix Dream Center is a half-way house for the homeless, those coming out of prison, recovering alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes, and other broken people. I identify.

The building is sponsored by Phoenix First Assembly, our new church home, but the workers are volunteers. The Dream Center also houses a church called "The Church on the Street." I met the pastor and he asked me if I would be willing to counsel some of the men and to teach the group from time to time. The woman directing the ministry to women invited Gayle to teach and minister to the women.

Gayle and I spoke to the boys about it, and after a series of discussions with several leaders and our pastor, Tommy Barnett, we decided to serve the dream center in whatever capacity asked, whether it's cleaning the building, hosting a visiting group, attending a meeting, or facilitating a study. In order to increase our availability to serve, we have decided to move and live in the Dream Center.

As a result, the Phoenix Dream Center team is creating an apartment for our family by combining a small, one-bedroom apartment with an adjacent room so our boys will have their own rooms. Even though Alex and Elliott's drive to school is quite a distance every day, we think it is worth it to be given the privilege of service.

In preparation for the future, Gayle and I are both enrolled at the University of Phoenix at their main downtown campus. Gayle is in the undergraduate program studying psychology. I am pursuing my master of science in counseling degree, which means we are both full time students. Alex and Elliott are both attending a local Christian school. Elliott is playing 8th grade football this fall. Everyone is busy!

It looks as though it will take two years for us to have adequate earning power again, so we are looking for people who will help us monthly for two years. During that time we will continue as full time students, and then, when I graduate, we won't need outside support any longer.

But for the next two years, we will need support. Between now and the end of the year, we have to find the people who want to help us transition into our future. So I am starting today to let friends like you know that we are raising money for support as we move into the Phoenix Dream Center.

Would you be willing to help us find people who can give a one time gift or make a commitment to help support us monthly for two years? If so, that would be a blessing.

If people want to support us directly, they can mail checks to Ted and Gayle Haggard, 9699 N. Hayden, Suite 108, PMB 180, Scottsdale, AZ 95259. This is a private mail box address that we have been using since we moved to the Phoenix area. If any supporters need a tax deduction for their gift, they can mail it to Families With a Mission at P.O. Box 63125, Colorado Springs, CO 80962. The supporters would need to write their check to "Families With A Mission" and put a separate note on it that it is for the Haggard family, then Families With a Mission will mail us 90% of the funds for support and use 10% for administrative costs.

Thank you so much. We feel our move into the Dream Center is the next step God would have us take. Any help we can get with this will be greatly appreciated and, I believe, rewarded in heaven.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might have an interest. Any assistance we receive will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

God bless,

Ted Haggard
"Preparing"

P.S. Our handicapped son, Jonathan (20) has been taken care of financially by Victory Church (Mike Ware), Church of the Highlands (Chris Hodges) and New Life Church in Colorado Springs since November of 2006. It's our prayer that these churches will continue helping Jonathan while we're in this stage of our lives. We are so grateful for their assistance. Their faithfulness to Jonathan and consequently our family has given us room to heal. We are all very thankful for their prayers, love, and kindness

So, there you go. Seems legit.

Haggard needs money to get a degree so he can counsel men who are trying to reject of the homosexual lifestyle.

And by "counsel" I mean snort meth and get fucked fisted on his leather couch sling. All of which will be paid for by well-meaning fundies.



via Colorado Confidential

Toxicology Results

Acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine:

The drugs are the generic names for the painkiller OxyContin, the anti-anxiety drugs Valium and Xanax, and the sleep aids Restoril and Unisom. Hydrocodone is a prescription painkiller.

Borakove wouldn't say what concentrations of each drug were found in Ledger's blood, or whether one drug played a greater part than another in causing his death.

"What you're looking at here is the cumulative effects of these medications together," she said.

via Breitbart

Barry Projects Delegate Lead

From Politico:

In a surprise twist after a chaotic Super Tuesday, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) passed Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) in network tallies of the number of delegates the candidates racked up last night.

The Obama camp now projects topping Clinton by 13 delegates, 847 to 834.

NBC News, which is projecting delegates based on the Democratic Party's complex formula, figures Obama will wind up with 840 to 849 delegates, versus 829 to 838 for Clinton.

Where We Are Now

From Marc Ambinder:

Tuesday night, Barack Obama credibly established his claim to be a national candidate

Hillary Clinton won the votes of more Democrats than Barack Obama did. She won the votes of enough “red” states to temper, at least for now, the idea that Democrats in those states believe she is manifestly unelectable and would drag the party down in their states.

Over the next two weeks, the caucus and primaries ahead are better for Obama than for Clinton, and he should close the delegate map a little. Or maybe a lot: he tends to win the states in which he competes and Clinton does not by a large margin. Obama has been on the air in all nine states… Clinton is not… and the big reason is money: Obama has money in the bank, and Clinton is having trouble staying in the black.

And the GOP?

John McCain is well on his way to the nomination.

via Marc Ambinder

Delegate Scorecard

Numbers vary from site to site:

Dems:

Hillary Clinton
Pledged: 590 Superdelegates: 193 Total: 783

Barack Obama
Pledged: 603 Superdelegates: 106 Total: 709

John Edwards
Pledged: 26 Superdelegates: 0 Total: 26


GOP:

John McCain
Pledged: 598 Unpledged RNC*: 17 Total: 615

Mitt Romney
Pledged: 272 Unpledged RNC*: 9 Total: 281

Mike Huckabee
Pledged: 196 Unpledged RNC*: 3 Total: 199

Ron Paul
Pledged: 16 Unpledged RNC*: 0 Total: 16


via CNN

Super Tuesday Report Card

ALABAMA: Obama - 56%, Clinton - 42%
ALASKA: Obama - 68%, Clinton - 32%.
ARIZONA: Clinton - 51%, Obama - 40%.
ARKANSAS: Clinton - 72%, Clinton - 24%.
CALIFORNIA: Clinton - 52%, Obama - 42%.
COLORADO: Obama - 64%, Clinton - 35%.
CONNECTICUT: Obama - 51%, Clinton - 47%.
DELAWARE: Obama - 53%, Clinton - 42%.
GEORGIA: Obama - 63%, Clinton - 34%.
IDAHO: Obama - 75%, Clinton - 23%.
ILLINOIS: Obama - 65%, Clinton - 33%.
KANSAS: Obama - 73%, Clinton - 27%.
MASSACHUSETTS: Clinton - 57%, Obama - 40%.
MINNESOTA: Obama - 67%, Clinton - 32%.
MISSOURI: Obama - 49%, Clinton - 48%.
NEW JERSEY: Clinton - 54%, Obama - 44%.
NEW MEXICO: Obama - 49%, Clinton - 48%.
NEW YORK: Clinton - 57%, Obama - 40%.
NORTH DAKOTA: Obama - 61%, Clinton - 37%.
OKLAHOMA: Clinton - 55%, Obama - 31%.
TENNESSEE: Clinton - 56%, Obama - 38%.
UTAH: Obama - 45%, Clinton - 44%.



ALABAMA: Huckabee - 41%, McCain - 38%, Romney - 18%, Paul - 3%
ALASKA: - Romney - 44%, Huckabee - 22%, Paul - 17%, McCain - 15%.
ARIZONA: McCain - 48%, Romney - 34%, Huckabee - 9%, Paul - 4%.
ARKANSAS: Huckabee - 61%, McCain - 20%, Romney - 13%, Paul - 5%.
CALIFORNIA: - McCain - 42%, Romney -34%, Huckabee - 12%, Paul - 5%.
COLORADO: Romney - 55%, McCain - 21%, Huckabee - 15%, Paul - 9%.
CONNECTICUT: McCain - 52%, Romney - 33%, Huckabee - 7%, Paul - 4%.
DELAWARE: McCain - 45%, Romney - 33%, Huckabee - 15%, Paul - 4%.
GEORGIA: Huckabee - 34%, McCain - 32%, Romney - 30%, Paul - 3%.
ILLINOIS: McCain - 48%, Romney - 28%, Huckabee - 17%, Paul - 5%.
MASSACHUSETTS: Romney - 51%, McCain - 41%, Huckabee - 4%, Paul - 3%.
MINNESOTA: Romney - 41%, McCain - 22%, Huckabee - 20%, Paul - 16%.
MISSOURI: McCain - 33%, Huckabee - 32%, Romney - 29%, Paul - 4%.
MONTANA: Romney - 38%, Paul - 25%, McCain - 22%, Huckabee - 15%.
NEW JERSEY: McCain - 56%, Romney - 28%, Huckabee - 8%, Paul - 5%.
NEW YORK: McCain - 51%, Romney 28%, Huckabee - 11%, Paul - 7%.
NORTH DAKOTA: Romney - 36%, McCain - 23%, Paul - 21%, Huckabee - 19%.
OKLAHOMA: McCain - 37%, Huckabee - 33%, Romney - 25%, Paul - 3%.
TENNESSEE: Huckabee - 34%, McCain - 32%, Romney - 24%, Paul - 6%.
UTAH: Romney - 87%, McCain - 6%, Paul - 3%, Huckabee - 2%.
WEST VIRGINIA: Huckabee - 52%, Romney - 47%. (Note: McCain's campaign threw all of their caucus votes to Huckabee after Romney placed first with a plurality on the first ballot).

via Politics1

DRUNK ON POLISH BEER!!!

I have no idea who's winning at this point. Probably don't wanna know. Took a break and watched Accross the Universe for the first time. Oh, and drank a bunch of Polish beer I can't pronounce.



nothings gonna change my world.

Updated Numbers from Gimp BF

Barry: GA, AL, DE, IL, KS, ND

Thundercunt: NY, NJ, OK, TN, AR, MA


WALNUTS!: CT, DE, IL, NJ, NY, OK

Subway dude: AR, WV, (maybe AL)

Mittens: MA

Drudge Copy Paste

I've been drinking:

AL: OBAMA
AR: CLINTON
DE: OBAMA
GA: OBAMA
IL: OBAMA
MA: CLINTON
NY: CLINTON
NJ: CLINTON
OK: CLINTON
TN: CLINTON

AR: HUCKABEE
CT: MCCAIN
DE: MCCAIN
IL: MCCAIN
MA: ROMNEY
NJ: MCCAIN
NY: MCCAIN
WV: HUCKABEE

via Drudge

Betty Butterfield Break

Barry Wins Alabama

via MSNBC

Haunted Bookshelf Propels Thundercunt to NJ Win

I was watching one of my fave shows, Paranormal State, the other night. And...well, here:



We just had some friends just drop off a bookshelf from a haunted house they were renovating. Then, all of a sudden, NJ is called for Thundercunt.

Coincidence? I think not.

Gonna be a long night.

More Results

Thundercunt and Subway dude win Arkansas

WALNUTS! in Delaware

Thundercunt in Tenn

via MSNBC

Super Tuesday Update

Obama takes Illinois

Clinton takes Oklahoma

WALNUTS! takes Illinois, Conn., and NJ

Mittens gets Mass.

Georgia GOP too close to call

via anywhere

MSNBC has a great site

Barry Wins Georgia

86 - 13

via ABC

Somebody Bring Her Some Water

Huma Abedin needs to shave.

Mittens' Sour Grapes

Press Release from the magic pajama ninja:

Today, Romney for President Campaign Manager Beth Myers issued the following statement regarding the outcome of West Virginia's Republican Party convention:

"Unfortunately, this is what Senator McCain's inside Washington ways look like: he cut a backroom deal with the tax-and-spend candidate he thought could best stop Governor Romney's campaign of conservative change.

"Governor Romney had enough respect for the Republican voters of West Virginia to make an appeal to them about the future of the party based on issues. This is why he led on today's first ballot. Sadly, Senator McCain cut a Washington backroom deal in a way that once again underscores his legacy of working against Republicans who are interested in championing conservative policies and rebuilding the party."

via MittRomney.com

Heather Has Two Mommies, And A Dad

io9 reports:

In three to five years, a baby will be born with two genetic mothers and one father. This could prove to be a boon for polyamorous families of the future who want to have children with more than two parents. A team of British researchers working with embryos have now perfected the three-parent babymaking technique.

The technique is actually designed to prevent certain genetic diseases associated with the mother's mitochondrial DNA (a small amount of DNA that lives outside the cell nucleus). One woman contributes her nuclear DNA, one contributes mitochondrial DNA, and the father contributes the typical chunk of his own nuclear DNA. Presto: a baby with three genetic parents.

That noise you hear is the collective screaming of Fundamentalists.

via io9

Huckabee and Baby Jeebus Also Elected Kings of West Virginia

Mike Huckabee is now the projected winner for West Virginia, the first race called for Super Tuesday.

Voters felt they had more in common with a banjo plucking governor than a space christian or an elderly gay liberal.

via CBN

Superbowl Love

From Gawker:

Some coarse fans like to exploit this for cheap jokes: "He patted that guy on the butt. He's gay. He grabbed that guy. He's gay." But in fact, football is a great tool for loosening up those prone to anti-gay sentiment, because the act of football fandom is just as rife with barely concealed homoerotic acts as the game itself. The same men that would scoff at anything less than macho on the field will wrap their arms around each other and cry while praying for a Giants win. That's why, out of all the Super Bowl celebration videos we've seen, we like this one best.



via Gawker

Robot Inspects Body of Alleged Terrorist

photo via Getty

io9 reports:

Yesterday in Israel, a bomb disposal robot inspected the scene of a suicide bombing at a shopping mall in the town of Dimona. The bot is remote controlled, and used an articulated arm to remove the jacket of the alleged bomber to be sure he doesn't have more explosives on his body. Want to see what else the robot does as it finishes its inspection of the area?

via io9

Super Tuesday Schedule

West Virginia convention (GOP only): begins 9am ET, likely first state with results.

Last polls in state close at 7:00 pm ET:
Georgia primaries


Last polls in state close at 8 pm ET:
Alabama primaries
Connecticut primaries
Delaware primaries
Illinois primaries
Massachusetts primaries
Missouri primaries
New Jersey primaries
Oklahoma primaries
Tennessee primaries

Last polls in state close at 8:30 pm ET:
Arkansas primaries

Last polls in state close at 9:00 pm ET:
Kansas caucuses (Dems only)
Arizona primaries
Colorado caucuses
Minnesota primaries
New Mexico primary (Dems only)
New York primaries

Last polls in state close at 10:00 pm ET:
Idaho caucuses (Dems only)
Montana caucuses (GOP only)
North Dakota caucuses
Utah primaries

Last polls in state close at 11:00 pm ET:
California primaries

Last of the polls close at 1:30 am ET:
Alaska primaries


via Time

Officials Seize A&F Ads In Fears of Unleashing Own Tendencies

Spoilsports in VA Beach seized two murals from an Abercrombie & Fitch store citing local obsenity laws:

"Adam Bernstein, a police spokesman, said the seizure and the issuance of the summons came only after store management had not heeded warnings to remove the images. The citation was issued under City Code Section 22.31, Bernstein said, which makes it a crime to display 'obscene materials in a business that is open to juveniles.'...The manager was not arrested but faces a fine of up to $2,000 and as much as a year in jail, if convicted. Bernstein said that in a meeting last week with store management, the officer - who is assigned to routine patrol of the mall - said he understood it was a corporate decision as to what would be displayed in the stores. But he explained that that didn't exempt the local store from complying with the city code. Bernstein said management was told specifically: 'We want those advertising signs taken down.'"

UPDATE: The obsenity charges have been dropped.

via Towleroad

Senator Strangelove

via BraveNewFilms

Grateful Dead Opens Own Church

Not Really. io9 reports:

The York Minster is the largest gothic cathedral in Northern Europe. It's usually dark and gloomy, but at the end of last year, as part of the city-wide Illuminating York iniative, a bunch of artists projected massive neon animation against the facade of the building. Then they programmed the projection so that the colorful light patterns would move according to people's voices.



via io9

Michelle on GMA

It's My Primary and I'll Cry If I Want To

Hillary isn't the only Clinton who can cry on cue. Remember this?



via Sully

Emo-Hillary Cries Again

Today at an event in New Haven, Connecticut, Emo-Hillary cried again. Just like the day before New Hampshire:

Penn Rhodeen, who was introducing Clinton, began to choke up, leading Clinton's eyes to fill with tears, which she wiped out of her left eye. At the time, Rhodeen was saying how proud he was that sheepskin-coat, bell-bottom-wearing young woman he met in 1972 was now running for president.

"Well, I said I would not tear up; already we're not exactly on the path," Clinton said with emotion after the introduction.



Here's to hoping she has a good reason to cry tomorrow night.

via The Swamp

Full UCLA Rally

1 hour and 15 mins. It's def worth watching:

Fired Up

I was watching CSpan yesterday afternoon before the Super Bowl (doesn't everybody?) to see Michelle Obama, Oprah, and that Kennedy that somehow is still alive speak at UCLA. There were a couple of surprises. My heart sank when Stevie Wonder made his way up to the stage with Michelle and took a spill:



Here's what he had to say:



Here's Oprah:



After Michelle spoke, Maria Shriver made a surprise visit to endorse Barack:



Still looking for Michelle's speech.