Today's Godtube Moment

The truth about Santa.

Today's Godtube Moment

via Godtube

Today's Godtube Moment

Today's Godtube Moment

What better way to tell the story of Baby Jeebus than to mold a pile of clay into what eventually looks like a bloody John Kerry with a crown of thorns?

Jeebus, Ransom, and Weiners

via Jesus' General

Yeh, About Those Science Books.....

One thing I learned real quick after moving to the Gulf Coast was that the newspapers down here are repositories of Grade A entertainment. A continuous cycle of stories about teh gayz, cry babies not wanting bridges built in their backyard, blue hairs bitching about how much homeowner's insurance is, and......wait for it......wait for it.........evolution.

Back in December, the Florida State Board of Education promised to take a stronger endorsement of evoution in school curriculum:

The Florida State Board of Education writes numerous learning goals for all subjects at each grade level. Though the subject of evolution is contentious, it represents a small part of the science curriculum.

Following are some examples of proposed benchmarks regarding evolution.

Kindergarten : “Observe and describe similarities and differences among different types of plants and among different types of animals.”

Seventh grade : “Recognize and describe that fossil evidence is consistent with the idea that human beings evolved from earlier species.”

High school : “Identify basic trends in hominid evolution from early ancestors six million years ago to modern humans.”

And now, unto us, a saviour is born .

Meet State Rep. Marti Coley.



Let the Daily News explain:

State Rep. Marti Coley has asked the State Board of Education to put the word “theory” back in evolution.

She has requested that the board vote to “refer to evolution as a theory” when it adopts new state standards for science education later this month, according to a news release from Coley’s office.

If the board fails to heed her request when it votes on the new standards Feb. 19, Coley said she’ll consider introducing legislation to have “theory” inserted.

Lovely. Let's put another piece of bullshit legislation up for vote.

For lawmakers in Florida.

Florida lawmakers left unattended while our governor is traveling with Juan McCain on Charlie and WALNUTS! Excellent Border Crusade to Sneak in Gay Messicans.

Not all is lost. That's where the newpaper comes in. Wendy Victoria delivers, as usual:

Like every child before them, they will find their way through the contradictions between what they learn in church and what they learn in school. This will not be the first or last time they have to figure out how to seam the two together.

And one word -- any word -- is not going to resolve that complex issue

I heart Wendy.

via NWF Daily News

Today's Godtube Moment

Ribbons the Clown

Foreskin Is In

photo via BBC

Atleast talking about them is. Ever had the T.V. on the background while you were doing something else, and then only actually to listen to it when you hear something really wierd, like...I dunno...."the foreskin of Jesus" ?

There's this village near Rome that guarded the foreskin of Jeebus (or Holy Prepuce, as the foreskin requests you address it as). A priest kept this holy relic IN A SHOEBOX IN HIS CLOSET.

The villagers even had a foreskin pride parade every year on the Feast of the Circumcision of Christ, which sounds absolutely disgusting.

Someone stole the super magic dickhood back in 1983 and, for some reason, now it's a big deal:

Some suspect the village priest sold it for a heavenly sum; others say it was stolen by thieves and ended up on the relics black market; some even suggest Satanists or neo-Nazis are responsible. But the most likely culprit is an unlikely one: the Vatican.

So there you go. It was either Satanist Goat Fuckers, nazis, or Nazi Pope.

Either way it scares me and I wish I never knew that Jeebus had a penis, much less a mudflap.

via Slate

Today's Godtube Moment: God is a Chef

Also, the world was flooded with gravy, Jeebus was a tasty pie, I'm going to a broken gas cooker for my sins, Satan is a bag of peanuts.....

How about you just watch it: