SNL? Not so much.

Bible Spice came across uncomfortable and



Meh.

Will you fist bump me? Check "Yes" or "No"

Colin Powell appears on MTP tomorrow, interviewed by........who the fuck hosts MTP now? Brokaw? Really?

The NY Daily News thinks Powell will endorse Superman.

Their argument:

After months of playing political Hamlet, Colin Powell is finally ready to tell America who he likes for President - and the smart money says Barack Obama is Powell's choice.

..."After Sunday people aren't going to have any doubt who he's voting for."


Also, there seems to be no love loss between Cliff and WALNUTS!:

Two other colleagues Powell has consulted in recent weeks told The News that while Powell admires McCain, he's roubled that the GOP candidate has surrounded himself with hardline national security advisers.

"McCain has too many neocons working for him," said one Republican source familiar with Powell's thinking.
Powell is also irked that McCain's political handlers orchestrated disingenuous leaks to reporters during the Democratic convention that Powell was a leading candidate to be McCain's running mate.

The News reported in August that when McCain met with Powell in early summer to lobby for his endorsement, Powell told the Arizona senator he wouldn't join the ticket under any circumstances.

Obama also privately lobbied Powell after the primaries and has called the general frequently since in hopes of making the sale. McCain, by contrast, has been AWOL; Powell hasn't heard from him in months.

"He wishes McCain could give him a reason to vote for him, but he hasn't yet," a Powell associate told The News.
Powell told both suitors their politics were a bit too off-center for his tastes: Obama too liberal, McCain too conservative.

...Powell knows McCain far better than Obama and gave $2,300 to his then-struggling primary campaign in August 2007. At the time, however, he told McCain the contribution was because of their long friendship and wasn't an endorsement.


And what of Barry?:

At the same time, Powell is known to admire Obama's swift rise to national prominence and recognizes the Democrat's symbolic importance to African-American aspirations and racial progress.

In April, Powell praised Obama's skill in assembling a first-rate campaign operation. "That gives me some indication that [despite] his inexperience in foreign affairs or domestic affairs, he may also be somebody who can learn quickly," he said.

Inexperience.

Learning quickly.

Today's Godtube Moment

brickbat proudly brings you The Fischers, a family of musical homosexual puss demons from Outer space...or Nashville. I can't remember which one.

In their own words:

You don't believe in killing babies-Get Out and Vote! You don't believe in Gay marriage-Get Out and Vote! Don't like illegal immigration-Get Out and Vote! Don't like Slack politicians-Get Out and Vote! Stand up and be counted! IF YOU DON'T GET OUT AND VOTE--THE DEVIL WILL! There are supposed to be many more people in this country that believe in God than those that don't. So tell me, why are these ungodly minorities pushing us around and passing laws that are anti-Christ and anti-God? Because we don't stand up! If every single person that claims to believe in God were to get out there and vote for Godly values we wouldn't be sliding into such an ungodly mess! Stand up and be counted!!! For more info on this and other topics go to www.thefischers.net


Seriously, go check this shit out.

brickbat's fav parts here and here.

Fucking gold.

Interesting Numbers Out Of North Carolina

From McClatchy:

Thursday's first day of early voting drew record numbers across North Carolina, election officials said, as more than 100,000 people turned out.

That exceeded the 2004 figure by about 40 percent, said Gary Bartlett, executive director of the State Board of Elections.

...Across the state, Democrats showed the most first-day enthusiasm. Of the nearly 114,000 first-day voters, 64 percent were Democrats, 21 percent Republicans and 15 percent unaffiliateds.

African American turnout was up significantly. Black voters, who make up about 22 percent of registered voters, were 36 percent of Thursday's early voters.

In 2004, blacks made up 18.6 percent of voters.

Experts estimate that Barack Obama needs a black turnout in North Carolina of between 22 percent to 23 percent to carry the state. No Democratic presidential candidate has carried North Carolina since Jimmy Carter in 1976.

The GOP's "Base"

Another Chapter Of RACERIOT 2008™ Theatre

AlJazeera followed Sarah Palin to Ohio, where they interviewed a bunch of honkeys that mustered up the intellect to put shoes on and gimp their way down to hear Bible Spice spread the Good Word.

George Hamilton: Batshit Crazy

Renowned silent film star and cancer enthusiast George Hamilton stopped by The View to talk about some book someone wrote for him. Now, The View is always awkward, but this segment really stands alone.

At about the 2:00 mark, Barbara asks George to regale the audience with a cute little anecdote about the time he fucked his stepmother at the age of 12.

No shit.



Things only get worse when Hamilton's son, Ashley, joins the fun and pretends to be a comedian...which people actually pay to see.

via dlisted

Yes, It's Come To This

Watch Grown Men Cry

Here's a couple of guys from Missouri bawling like little girls over someone burning their free Barack Obama yard signs :(

Little Bill V. Barney Frank

Crazy Lady From McCain Rally

Jim Webb: Doing Biden's Work

Webb had some words about Bible Spice:

"Do you really think Sarah Palin is the most qualified person in the Republican Party?" Webb asked as he introduced Obama in Roanoke.

The crowd yelled "no" at the mention of her name and booed.

"I don't know how many people here like country music," Webb continued. "I like country music. There was a song about two years ago, 'I know what I was doing, but what was I was thinking?' John McCain is probably singing that song right now."

Webb moved onto the vice presidential debate. "Gov. Palin turned around and said, 'Nice to meet you, can I call you Joe?' I was thinking, Joe, what you really outta do is say, 'Yeah, you can call me whatever you want. In two months, you're gonna be calling me Mr. Vice President.'"

OMGEEEZTHEREWUZADUBAITTOONITELOLZ!!!!!

Add Glitter to your Photos



Mad props to PP for filling in and doing a great job.

From what I heard, there was a guy named Joe who is a plumber and fishes dead babies out of Barack Obama's Hamas toilet.

Also, Joe is a plumber.

Live Blog Of The Last Debate

7:03 : PETEPAN will be sitting in for brickbat tonight, so don't get mad at him for what I say. I have been drinking and painting in a closed room for the last 2 hours. Hang on cause here we gooooooooooo..............

7:07 : Time for another beer..

7:34 : Watch the debate here with us

8:02 : Old man talking about rules. I'm sure John Mccain was his baby sitter

8:03 : Here comes the bride...I mean the candidates

8:04 : Mccain - my economy plain is better beause I have 7 houses and I can still pay all my mortgages.

8:07 : Obama - Lets get better education so all americans can pay their mortgages.

8:09 : Mccain has a plumber named joe

8:10 : Obama knows Joe the plumber. Who the hell is Joe? I need a plumber.

8:14 : Mccain does not want to share his money

This moneyz iz minez

8:18 : Mccain is old enough to remember the Great Depression. I think he caused it.

8:20 : Their talk about pork barrels is making me hungry.

8:21 : John Mccain just realized he is not George Bush. His pills must be working.

8:24 : Obama just said torture and Mccain turned white. Oh wait he is white. Lets not forget Mccain was tortured...



8:29 : OMG! The candidates are negative! No fucking shit!!!! Its a fucking presidential race! What the fuck!?!

8:32 : Mccain just laughed when Obama talked about someone saying "kill him". I bet he has a noose in his car.
Time for another beer!!! Yeah!!!

8:36 : I finaly heard the word acorn! Now I can take a shot!

8:39 : They have said acorn so many times I'm drunk now.

8:40 : how the hell did Mccain get from acorn to taxes?

8:41 : Did you know that Biden was from Scranton? Thank god Obama told me.

8:42 : Mccain - "Palin took on the oil companies. She is a breath of fresh air. Oh she has a specail needs kid.".... Is it really her kid? I don't think so. Did she really take on the oil companies, or did she just take money from them? You know you get payed to live in alaska so they can rape the land.

8:49 : I'm drunk...Is anyone reading this? I'm going to take a piss...damn beer.

8:53 : Mccain - Obama does not want to stop drug trade from mexico. Black people want cocaine from mexico so they can make crack.

8:55 : Mccain just said fart...I think.

8:59 : Mccain belives all plumbers all named Joe.

9:00 : So does Obama. Fucked up thing is I have had plumber come to my place and his name was Joe. He did not do a very good job. I had to get another plumber to fix the problem. I don't think his name was Joe. So not all plumbers are named Joe.

9:04 : Really who the hell is Joe? I think I have to come up with a new game. Every time you hear the name Joe take a shot. If you have a plumber named Joe you have to drink the whole bottle.

9:07 : Mccain wants to give the states back their rights. HELL YEAH! I'm tired of paying black people! What?

9:09 : Obama does not care he passes the paper bag test. He would be an inside ni@@er.

9:10 : Is this over yet. I am so glad this is the last debate. Blah Blah Blah. We have all heard the same shit over and over again. If you have not decided who you are voting for by now, then get a fucking special helmet. I'm sure Palin can tell you where to buy one at.

9:15 : Obama wants to kills your babies.....as long as you want to.

9:16 : Mccain has and adopted child. No shit he is to old to have one his self. So Palin has a special needs child that is not hers and Mccain has an adopted child that is not is his, simple, that is why he made her his vp.

9:23 : I dont even think I am listening to the debate at this point.

9:27 : Thank god this is the end. Like I said before I am so tired of this shit. Lets just vote.

9:28 Mccain wants you to trust him. As long it's not in a plane.

9:30 Obama : Who cares what he says. Vote for Obama!!!!!!!!!!! He shits rainbows and pisses gold.

Thank you for reading or not reading. I dont fucking care.

Once again....GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH GO VOTE TOO

Other Sarah Vlogs Stolen By HuffPo

Ghetto Mama & Starbucks Cup

I can't believe I have to go through HuffBlow to get this shit.

That Fuckin' Redneck Has Stuff To Say

Alaska's favorite enemy combatant domestic hostage first son-in-law strung a few words together for the liberal media:

Levi Johnston, who's having a baby with Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter, can't believe all the things he's hearing.

No, he wasn't held against his will on the campaign trail. No, he's not being forced into a shotgun wedding with 17-year-old Bristol Palin.

"None of that's true," Johnston, 18, said in a rare interview with The Associated Press. "We both love each other. We both want to marry each other. And that's what we are going to do."

...The soft-spoken teenager discussed his relationship with Palin and how life has changed with fatherhood fast approaching. He agreed to talk despite the presidential campaign's advice in the days following Gov. Sarah Palin's nomination to avoid the media.

"They're not telling me anything right now," Johnston said as he checked his Blackberry. "It's pretty chill."

Not surprisingly, Johnston was a little shocked when he learned about Bristol's pregnancy, but he says he quickly embraced the prospects of fatherhood. The baby is due Dec. 18. Johnston has dropped out of high school to take a job on the North Slope oil fields as an apprentice electrician.

...Johnston hinted he's expecting a boy, but he declined to discuss baby names.

"I'm looking forward to having him," he said. "I'm going to take him hunting and fishing. He'll be everywhere with me."

Johnston, a Wasilla heartthrob, said he wanted to set the record straight.

For starters, he said his much-maligned MySpace page was a joke _ the one that claimed he said: "I'm a ... redneck," and "I don't want kids." Johnston said his friends created the page a few years ago and he had nothing to do with it.

Johnston said he has dated Palin since his freshman year in high school.

"We were planning on getting married a long time ago with or without the kid," he said. "That was the plan from the start."

...The young man said he wasn't an expert on politics by any stretch. Asked about Barack Obama, he replied: "I don't know anything about him. He seems like a good guy. I like him."

Johnston didn't register in time to vote, according to the Mat-Su Division of Elections Office in Wasilla. But he's still rooting for John McCain and Sarah Palin.

"I just hope she wins," he said. "She's my future mother-in-law. She better win."

VGL On Prop 8

via Jeffery Self

Radar Slams MacFarlane And Family Guy

The show may have it's moments, but it's always been a weak rip-off:

Pity the poor executives at Fox. Imagine their unbearable dilemma when one of their highest rated cash cows—that would be Family Guy—snuffed out America's beloved Simpsons. That's what happened in a recent episode, when Quagmire, Family Guy's motormouthed sleazeball, got caught in a sexual tryst with Marge and then proceeded to shoot the whole Simpson family off camera.

"I think they pushed it too far," Simpsons creator Matt Groening said. "If our characters are going to be killed, we'll do it ourselves." Perhaps Groening spoke too soon. Even though the suits at Fox decided not to air the spiteful scene, their recent $100 million dollar deal with Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane may give Groening some indication of where future loyalties lie.

...Maybe Family Guy's erstwhile fans are just aping the sneers of other cartoon scene titans. South Park's Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been taking swings at MacFarlane's work for years. "When people say to me, 'God, you guys have one of the best shows on television. You and Family Guy.' That fucking hurts so bad," lamented Stone back in 2005. "It's such a kick in the balls" agreed co-creator Trey Parker. They would argue that Family Guy hasn't gotten any worse; it's always been dreadful.

...This sophomoric glee for saying something naughty about Republicans is, after all, the entire gimmick behind MacFarlane's American Dad! As the New Yorker put it, watching a siege on American morality just "makes us restless now; the comedy is too broad. (The exclamation point in the title virtually announces that.)" Indeed, MacFarlane's tedious, second-rate send up for American establishment values has become more stale and didactic than subversive. Brian might as well be door-knocking for Kucinich.

...If MacFarlane and his scribes had kept their trashy humor as pure as their political posturing this might all be easier to swallow. But they didn't. Both American Dad! and Family Guy try to straddle the line between outlandish farty humor and subversive social commentary. Over the years the uneasy balance has caused Team MacFarlane to wobble and flop. His raunchy prime time rivals, Matt Stone and Trey Parker of South Park, describe this flailing balancing act as just "getting too up your ass preachy."

...You used to able to flip on Family Guy and witness the worm's eye view of things; racism, raunch, and flatulence that needed to be aired out every once and again. Watching Family Guy was like witnessing a harmless rebellion against righteousness. Now it's merely a showcase for MacFarlane's cultural finger wagging and lethargy.

via Radar

Plan B

via Slate

Our New Guilty Pleasure

HBO's True Blood.

Check it out.

Lafayette makes Omar look like a cunt.

But What Does Russia See From Their House?

Click the link for a behind-the-scenes peek at the Bible Spice-inspired porn "Who's Nailin' Paylin."

NSFW

Polka? Really?

Here's an interesting item I overlooked in all the crazy RACERIOT 2008™ hooplah reported earlier.

From WaPo:

Only the polka band, which entertained the crowd before the speeches, seemed unaffected by the pervasive anger in the arena. "Ha, ha, ha, come join my happy song," sang the man with the accordion. "Clap along!" The crowd clapped. "We're going to party tonight," he crooned, "with joy and laughter, that's what we're after."

Jesus' General has been kind enough to release a new ad for Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™:

Dear Sen. McCain,

According to the Washington Post, the angry racial tirades you and Sarah Palin deliver at rallies are often accompanied by polka music. I like that. It's a shame you don't do more to publicize it. Maybe that's why your crowds are so much smaller than Obama's.

I'm enclosing an ad I made to help you draw better crowds to your angry racist polka fests. Please, feel free to use it.

Email From Crazy Racist Aunt Of The Day

Now she wants to pray the Mooslim Obama away:

Subject: prayer request

I was very dismayed when, recently, a member of my Church said to me with great resignation that she was afraid Obama will take the presidency. These words came from someone that in the past has been a great prayer warrior. What is happening was my question??? Why are we Christians settling for the loss of our Christian heritage, not issuing a battle cry and falling to our knees and taking our country back? We allow ourselves to be stripped of the right to pray at school functions and in school, we have the Ten Commandments removed from government places and are told we cannot pray publicly or proclaim Christian principles, all the while providing public prayer places for Muslims. We allow Muslim mosques to operate in America funded by Saudi Arabia, and proclaim anti-American, anti-Christian threats and terrorism.

...It is time for all Christian Americans to raise the battle cry and take our nation back! Maybe McCain on his own cannot defeat Obama, but our God can and He will if we take to our knees in prayer and raise a mighty cry to the heavens to 'Save us O Lord'. Who knows where with his message of 'change'; a change which I fear will be away from our Christian ideals, and away from Christ . We have God's promises in 2 Chronicles 7:14, 'If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' We have the power to change the course of this election and to keep a man as suspect as Barak Obama from leading our country away from one nation under God to one nation under Allah.

We are great at passing stories and pictures around the internet but where are our prayers and prayer warriors praying to stop this tide of Barak Obama? God parted the Red Sea, Jesus was raised from the dead, and we can bring our country back to its Christian roots and stop the undermining of our country by Muslims. We can stop our country from being 'under Allah' but we must begin to pray, to pray as our country and our lives depended on it because they do.

We can stop all these atrocities against God's commands that have taken root in our country through something as simple as sincere prayer, a call to God to deliver us, to forgive us our sins of apathy and to protect us from the evil that is upon us.

Okay prayer warriors, here is your challenge, start those prayer chains. Get the spiritual power working on our behalf and stop Barak Obama the proper way, by calling on our God to save us from the deception that charismatic preaching is using to lead us on the wrong path. Stop those who would take God out of our country and our government. Raise up good men to lead us and protect us. George Bush is being buffeted because he has fought a holy war against the evils that attack us ... and we should not be surprised because a prophet is not honored in his own country. But we should not rest on our laurels and allow ourselves to be taken further off the path of Christianity and to have God removed from our presence in our schools, courts, government and businesses. Invite God into the fray. Ask that His power rest upon us and give us the victory. Ask him to raise up a mighty army to defend us and to protect our country as he did in days of old. Let us be victorious beginning NOW. The battle is His but we must call on Him without ceasing and unite our voices and hearts in prayer and fasting.

Please pass this around to all people of prayer that you know and maybe, just maybe, a more eloquent person of prayer will write something better and more inspiring and even the rocks will shout that Jesus is Lord and our Mighty God is with us and bringing the victory for us and ultimately for Him. AMEN!

Guilty

BTW, Palin was found guilty on all that shit she said she didn't do.

This is what Sully had to say:

We have been given a clear warning about the vice-presidential nominee for the Republican party. We already know she is a pathological liar. We already know she refuses even basic transparency and accountability, refusing to hold a press conference as veep nominee for the first time in modern American political history and refusing to provide even minimal documentation of her fifth pregnancy. Barely into her first year as governor, as one might expect of such a person, she abused her power as governor of Alaska to persecute a former family member.

Today's Installment Of RACERIOT 2008™ Theatre

From Gawker:

Hours before Sarah Palin showed up to get BOOED at the Flyers opener in Philadelphia, she hosted a rally in Johnstown, PA. And the citizen at left showed up with a stuffed monkey with an Obama sticker on its head. "This is little Hussein," he boasted smugly to cameras. Surely the other McCain/Palin supporters admonished him in the no uncertain terms, yes? No. They giggled and clapped.