SNL? Not so much.

Bible Spice came across uncomfortable and



Meh.

The GOP's "Base"

Another Chapter Of RACERIOT 2008™ Theatre

AlJazeera followed Sarah Palin to Ohio, where they interviewed a bunch of honkeys that mustered up the intellect to put shoes on and gimp their way down to hear Bible Spice spread the Good Word.

Plan B

via Slate

Polka? Really?

Here's an interesting item I overlooked in all the crazy RACERIOT 2008™ hooplah reported earlier.

From WaPo:

Only the polka band, which entertained the crowd before the speeches, seemed unaffected by the pervasive anger in the arena. "Ha, ha, ha, come join my happy song," sang the man with the accordion. "Clap along!" The crowd clapped. "We're going to party tonight," he crooned, "with joy and laughter, that's what we're after."

Jesus' General has been kind enough to release a new ad for Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™:

Dear Sen. McCain,

According to the Washington Post, the angry racial tirades you and Sarah Palin deliver at rallies are often accompanied by polka music. I like that. It's a shame you don't do more to publicize it. Maybe that's why your crowds are so much smaller than Obama's.

I'm enclosing an ad I made to help you draw better crowds to your angry racist polka fests. Please, feel free to use it.

Email From Crazy Racist Aunt Of The Day

Now she wants to pray the Mooslim Obama away:

Subject: prayer request

I was very dismayed when, recently, a member of my Church said to me with great resignation that she was afraid Obama will take the presidency. These words came from someone that in the past has been a great prayer warrior. What is happening was my question??? Why are we Christians settling for the loss of our Christian heritage, not issuing a battle cry and falling to our knees and taking our country back? We allow ourselves to be stripped of the right to pray at school functions and in school, we have the Ten Commandments removed from government places and are told we cannot pray publicly or proclaim Christian principles, all the while providing public prayer places for Muslims. We allow Muslim mosques to operate in America funded by Saudi Arabia, and proclaim anti-American, anti-Christian threats and terrorism.

...It is time for all Christian Americans to raise the battle cry and take our nation back! Maybe McCain on his own cannot defeat Obama, but our God can and He will if we take to our knees in prayer and raise a mighty cry to the heavens to 'Save us O Lord'. Who knows where with his message of 'change'; a change which I fear will be away from our Christian ideals, and away from Christ . We have God's promises in 2 Chronicles 7:14, 'If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' We have the power to change the course of this election and to keep a man as suspect as Barak Obama from leading our country away from one nation under God to one nation under Allah.

We are great at passing stories and pictures around the internet but where are our prayers and prayer warriors praying to stop this tide of Barak Obama? God parted the Red Sea, Jesus was raised from the dead, and we can bring our country back to its Christian roots and stop the undermining of our country by Muslims. We can stop our country from being 'under Allah' but we must begin to pray, to pray as our country and our lives depended on it because they do.

We can stop all these atrocities against God's commands that have taken root in our country through something as simple as sincere prayer, a call to God to deliver us, to forgive us our sins of apathy and to protect us from the evil that is upon us.

Okay prayer warriors, here is your challenge, start those prayer chains. Get the spiritual power working on our behalf and stop Barak Obama the proper way, by calling on our God to save us from the deception that charismatic preaching is using to lead us on the wrong path. Stop those who would take God out of our country and our government. Raise up good men to lead us and protect us. George Bush is being buffeted because he has fought a holy war against the evils that attack us ... and we should not be surprised because a prophet is not honored in his own country. But we should not rest on our laurels and allow ourselves to be taken further off the path of Christianity and to have God removed from our presence in our schools, courts, government and businesses. Invite God into the fray. Ask that His power rest upon us and give us the victory. Ask him to raise up a mighty army to defend us and to protect our country as he did in days of old. Let us be victorious beginning NOW. The battle is His but we must call on Him without ceasing and unite our voices and hearts in prayer and fasting.

Please pass this around to all people of prayer that you know and maybe, just maybe, a more eloquent person of prayer will write something better and more inspiring and even the rocks will shout that Jesus is Lord and our Mighty God is with us and bringing the victory for us and ultimately for Him. AMEN!

Today's Installment Of RACERIOT 2008™ Theatre

From Gawker:

Hours before Sarah Palin showed up to get BOOED at the Flyers opener in Philadelphia, she hosted a rally in Johnstown, PA. And the citizen at left showed up with a stuffed monkey with an Obama sticker on its head. "This is little Hussein," he boasted smugly to cameras. Surely the other McCain/Palin supporters admonished him in the no uncertain terms, yes? No. They giggled and clapped.

McCain On Defense...From Own Party

It's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube. What's done is done.

TPM sums up the latest:

After taking criticism for standing by for days while his supporters grew increasingly unhinged and hysterical, John McCain did the right thing today, telling his supporters that there's no need to be "scared" of a president Obama and calling on them to be "respectful" towards him.

...That's all fine. But if McCain wants to lower the temperature, how about stopping with the new ad implying that Obama is currently in league with a current terrorist? And if we see Wright come up next week, will this stuff still be operative?



Rep. John Lewis' thoughts:

"What I am seeing reminds me too much of another destructive period in American history," Lewis said in a statement issued today for Politico's Arena forum. "Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin are sowing the seeds of hatred and division, and there is no need for this hostility in our political discourse."

..."George Wallace never threw a bomb," Lewis noted. "He never fired a gun, but he created the climate and the conditions that encouraged vicious attacks against innocent Americans who were simply trying to exercise their constitutional rights. Because of this atmosphere of hate, four little girls were killed on Sunday morning when a church was bombed in Birmingham, Alabama."

...“As public figures with the power to influence and persuade, Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin are playing with fire, and if they are not careful, that fire will consume us all," Lewis said today. "They are playing a very dangerous game that disregards the value of the political process and cheapens our entire democracy. We can do better. The American people deserve better.”

Barack Obama's Terrorist Acorn Family Tree

In our continuing coverage of "HOLY SHIT. PEOPLE ARE LIKE THIS", here's the latest from Ben Smith:

As the reality that Obama could become president sinks in, the ire directed at him is amping up, as in this striking video taken by a liberal Ohio blogger outside a McCain-Palin rally in Ohio.

...And while the vitriol may help, a bit, in rallying the base, it's also probably not something independent voters are going to find terribly attractive.

Tennessee Townhall Showdown 2008

Glitter Graphics



WHO is Barack Obama?

Did WALNUTS! take his meds?

Will Brokaw kick in my Valium and cause me to fall asleep in about 15 mins?

Let's find out:

8:03 They're sitting at stupid tiny desks. hahahahahaha

8:04 Kojak wants to know the most fastest way out of being a nation of poors. Crack, Kojack. Start selling crack.

8:05 Obama has steps. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Also, he said crack, so that supports my economic plan.

8:06 WALNUTS! is wandering around the stage and has no idea where he is.

8:07 Stop sending gas money to Barry Hussein's terrorist friends in Hollywood.

8:08 Brokaw's gravitias is uppity.

8:08 Cotton bombs with an insult/joke about Brokaw.

8:09 John McCain's plan to save your savings: Sell everything you own on eBay.

8:10 Barack Obama hearts Warren Buffet.

8:11 Brokaw: "Stay on the fucking topic, morons."

8:11 OMG, a black man. He must be totally in the tank for Barry.

8:12 McCain: "Thanks, boy...but it's not a bailout. I'm not sure what it is, but I'll have to get you back to on that one (wink) Also, you have no idea who Freddie and Fannie are, because of your tiny negro brian and all."

Oh yeh, you can watch this here.

8:14 Obama gives the black man a terrorist fist bump.

8:16 Brokaw: "Mr. Hussein, will we all be hobos?"

8:17 Obama: "Not if you elect someone with a fucking clue."

8:18 McCain: "Mexicans are the best workers in the world. I should know. I own 7."

8:19 Some crazy lady asks how we can trust either one of these guys.

8:19 Barry: "Stopping going out to eat so much and you can save money, you fat sow."

8:21 McCain is a reformer, which is way uncooler than a Transformer. Those bitches have missiles and shit.



8:23 McCain is out in the audience like it's fucking Ellen.

8:23 I think he may be looking for the exit.

8:24 McCain is stumped by health. Hmm.

8:26 Some lady just rolled her eyes at St. Barack. Why does she hate black people?

8:27 Barack Obama keeps talking about the moon, which reminds me of this...



8:30 I've stopped paying attention to that old man. Go read this, which explains the above.

8:31 Barack Obama just mentioned 9/11 before Generalissimo John McCunt. Did that just happen?

8:35 WALNUTS! just mentioned jello. Heh.

8:37 Brokaw is racist.

8:38 Also, he hates old people and their social security cheese.

8:40 McCain: "Ronald Reagan mumble mumble my own friends hate me."

8:43 Some black lady asks McCain about the trees. Who let all these black people in here?

8:46 Obama totally disses Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.

8:47 Brokaw: "Please pay attention to me. Noone does. Noone ever does :("

8:49 Some white lady asks some dull healthcare question. Where is the fun stuff? For real. How about some Keating? How about some William Ayres shit?

8:53 We should be able to go across state lines to buy healthcare....and pills for your wife.

8:57 Barry: "John McCain will smother your children with asthma."

8:59 Barry sips some gin and juice.

9:02 Barry says 9/11 again. Also, McCain is a cheerleader.

9:02 - 9:11 (snicker) Let's blow up Pakistanistans and all brown people.

9:13 Barack Obama says McCain says he says that Barack Obama is green behind the ears. This is not true. He is black behind the ears. Also, John McCain is crazy, if you didn't know.

9:15

McCain: "Veterans something bomb something jello Maverick."

9:18 Are they even taking questions from the cyborgs in the audience? Holograms. Def holograms. Someone call Sarah Connor.

9:21 McCain saw some letters that spelled Putin's name in his Alhpa-Bits.

9:22 Obama: "If Russia wants to buy land, let them. The US has seen how that goes down."

9:25 Another bald guy: "Do you like Israel or LOVE Irael? Check yes or know."

9:26 McCain LOVES Israel enough to blow Lieberman on live teevee. Barack Obama has a swastika tattoo on his left buttock.

9:29 Obama wants one of those cool red Batman phones so he can chat with the Devil at 3am.



9:31 Barry talks about skrimps and food stamps.

9:33 John McCain does not know how to use an elevator.

9:33 Also, he was tortured.

9:34 WHAT THE FUCK IS A TILLER, MR. BURNS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

9:35 Cindy McCain is really doped up. Someone get her a guide dog.

9:36 I shouldn't be seeing Mrs. Islam's zipper. That's not change we can believe in. If you wanna be Jackie O, get a fucking designer.

Barack Obama Is President Of Math

He may be a terrorist, but he's about to be your POTUS.

From RCP:

Election 2008 Obama McCain Spread
RCP National Average 49.6 44.1 Obama +5.5
Favorable Ratings +18.8 +11.1 Obama +7.7
Intrade Market Odds 69.4 29.6 -

Electoral College Obama McCain Spread
RCP Electoral Count 264 163 Obama +101
No Toss Up States 364 174 Obama +190

Battleground States Obama McCain Spread
Colorado 49.3 45.3 Obama +4.0
Ohio 48.9 44.9 Obama +4.0
Florida 48.3 45.3 Obama +3.0
Nevada 49.6 46.6 Obama +3.0
Missouri 47.8 47.5 Obama +0.3
Virginia 49.9 45.1 Obama +4.8

RACERIOT 2008™ Continues With Townhall Debate Tonight

Barry Hussein and WALNUTS! will face off at 9p Eastern at Belmont Univ. in Tennessee.

Expect some fireworks, given the negative tone the campaigns have been taking the last couple of days.

Stay tuned for live-blogging here....if I don't reach the end of my 18-pack of PBR. Also, watch along at home on MSNBC. It's just funner over there.

St. Barack Fights Back In RACERIOT 2008™

From Politico:

Rush Limbaugh, featured in a new, Spanish-language Barack Obama ad, says the commercial distorts his past statements and amounts to "race-baiting" by the Democratic nominee.

The commercial, to air in Limbaugh's home state of Florida as well as Colorado, New Mexico and Nevada, features a picture of the conservative talk show host and shows his words on the screen: "Mexicans are stupid and unqualified" and "Shut your mouth or get out." It was first reported by the Washington Post's Ed O'Keefe.

"Obama is now stoking racism in the country," Limbaugh wrote in an email. "Obama is a disgrace - he wants the public to think he is Mr. Nice Guy while his thugs are in Alaska looking for dirt on Palin and he runs race-baiting ads and lies about what he has done and what McCain has done."

John McCain's Latest Addition To RACERIOT 2008™

Mexicans do not like black people. They just don't. The elderly Juan McCain knows this and is using it to his advantage yet again with another negative spanishy language ad.

Translation at Hotline

Stay Home Nov. 4 And Avoid RACERIOT 2008™

The elderly Juan McCain's Mexican heritage is coming in pretty handy. He's recorded a videotape message to let the latino people know how much Barack Obama hates them because did not mention their country at a geography bee in Berlin.

Translation at John McCain's crazy picturebox with a typewriter.