Checkin' In With Chuck

Here's a doozy on Mexico, Mexicans, drugs, and whatnot:

More than 7,000 lives have been lost in Mexico's drug war in just the last 14 months, in which nine out of 10 guns recovered from crime scenes came from the U.S. Border towns are experiencing outrageous escalations in crime, including more than 300 drug-related kidnappings in Phoenix alone in 2008 (most involved Mexican immigrants with ties to drug cartels).

Isn't it finally time we built a wall that works? Isn't it time we quit restricting our border agents by granting illegals more rights than our citizens? Isn't it time we post military personnel at particularly hot illegal crossings?

...Now more than ever, we must protect our borders and sovereignty. So far, our government has failed to produce suitable solutions to securing our borders and stopping illegal immigration. Amnesty is not the answer. And immigration laws aren't effective if we continue to allow them to be dodged or ignored. Furthermore, globalization efforts have only confused security matters, further endangering our borders as well as our national identity – our sovereignty.

And the question that keeps coming back to my mind is: How is it that we can militarily overthrow a tyrant like Saddam Hussein in Iraq, yet we can't keep illegals from crossing our borders? As Mike Huckabee says, "If the government can't track illegals, then let's outsource the job to UPS or Fed Ex." It's true. If they can track a lost package anywhere in the world within minutes, they can certainly track down and keep track of illegals.

Checkin' In With Chuck

Taking a page from the Paultard playbook, WorldNetDaily hitman Chuck Norris mulls the idea of a Texas secession. And guess who would be president? Chuck Norris:

On Glenn Beck's radio show last week, I quipped in response to our wayward federal government, "I may run for president of Texas."

That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.

From the East Coast to the "Left Coast," America seems to be moving further and further from its founders' vision and government.

...Thomas Jefferson counseled us, "We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt." Yet the Feds have just skyrocketed our national deficit and debt by trillions of dollars, and it plans much more fiscal expansion with few expectations of resistance. Despite that George Washington admonished, "To contract new debts is not the way to pay for old ones," we keep borrowing and bailing, while we watch the stock market plunge further every time we do.

...Patrick Henry taught that, "Our Constitution is … an instrument for its people to restrain the government." Yet our Congress and president stampede that founding document, overlook its explicitness and manipulate its words to abandon a balance of power and accommodate their own desires, partisan politics and runaway spending.


Whoa. It's like the Doctor Congressman L. Ron Paultard has possessed the body of Chuck.

It gets better worse:

When I appeared on Glenn Beck's radio show, he told me that someone had asked him, "Do you really believe that there is going to be trouble in the future?" And he answered, "If this country starts to spiral out of control and Mexico melts down or whatever, if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country (which it would have under I think the Republicans as well in this situation; they were taking us to the same place, just slower), Americans won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up." Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, "And where's that going to come from?" He answered his own question, "Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?" I replied, "Oh yeah!" Definitely.

It was these types of thoughts that led me to utter the tongue-n-cheek frustration on Glenn Beck's radio show, "I may run for president of Texas!"

I'm not saying that other states won't muster the gumption to stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it. As most know, Texas was its own country before it joined the Union as its 28th state. From 1836 to 1846, Texas was its own Republic. Washington-on-the-Brazos (river) served as our Philadelphia, Pa. It was there, on March 2, 1836, where a band of patriots forged the Texas Declaration of Independence. (We just celebrated these dates last week.)

...As Sam Houston once said, "Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may."

Just last Friday, the Alamo celebrated its 173rd commemoration, when on March 6, 1836, Texans under Col. William B. Travis were overcome by the Mexican army after a two-week siege at the Alamo in San Antonio. But they didn't go down without a hell-of-a-fight, as those roughly 145 Texans fought to their dying breaths against more than 2,000 Mexican forces under Gen. Santa Anna. (Casualties in the battle were 189 Texans vs. about 1,600 Mexicans.) They lost that battle, but would provide the inspiration to win the war. Their fighting spirit rallied the new-found republic, and still does to this day. So when you think all is lost in America, remember the Alamo!

For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

Again, Sam Houston put it well when he gave the marching orders, "We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid: None is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father's name."


Chuck Norris is a secret Mexican Paultard.

FINALLY: Someone To Blame This Financial Mess On

Add Glitter to Pictures




Dead babies....aborted babies and their killers and/or eaters. Also, the Mexicans.

Waldo Lydecker picks up on a crazy story:

Remember in Philadelphia, how Denzel Washington's character asks people telling him complicated things to "explain it to me like I'm a six year-old"?

Thank goodness Harare Grocery has laid bare the real cause of America's financial meltdown. The headline says it all- "

Why Abortion is a Cause of the Financial Mess (by way of Illegal Immigration)


Let's read, shall we?

Ahem:

Something struck me at breakfast this morning, an awful (and frankly, a little strange) realization that I think has been overlooked in the bailout debate.

One of the root causes of the financial mess we’re in is the holocaust of abortion.

Follow the logic here…

In the thirty five years since Roe v. Wade, 48.5 million babies have been killed (legally) in the United States. That’s 48 million people under the age of 35 that we’re missing as a nation - about 20 million of which would now be in the workforce.

In 1973, according to the US government, the estimated number of illegal immigrants in the United States was at 4 million people. In the intervening thirty-five years, those same years since Roe, that number has quintupled to (you guessed it) around 20 million. To replace the population, especially the workforce population, that had been lost by abortion, businesses turned to an underground market of illegal immigrant labor.

...Those same rule changes allowed no down payment mortgages up to 125% of the value of the house – which encouraged fraud among the illegal immigrant population.

Imagine the fraud possibility – you use the fraudulent documents that allowed you to steal someone else’s identity to also get a mortgage, for 125% of the value of a home, pocket the extra 25% in cash, live in the house for a year, don’t make payments, leave to go work somewhere else and let the bank foreclose. And because you’re on a stolen identity, no one can track you down.


Wow.

St. Barack Fights Back In RACERIOT 2008™

From Politico:

Rush Limbaugh, featured in a new, Spanish-language Barack Obama ad, says the commercial distorts his past statements and amounts to "race-baiting" by the Democratic nominee.

The commercial, to air in Limbaugh's home state of Florida as well as Colorado, New Mexico and Nevada, features a picture of the conservative talk show host and shows his words on the screen: "Mexicans are stupid and unqualified" and "Shut your mouth or get out." It was first reported by the Washington Post's Ed O'Keefe.

"Obama is now stoking racism in the country," Limbaugh wrote in an email. "Obama is a disgrace - he wants the public to think he is Mr. Nice Guy while his thugs are in Alaska looking for dirt on Palin and he runs race-baiting ads and lies about what he has done and what McCain has done."

John McCain's Latest Addition To RACERIOT 2008™

Mexicans do not like black people. They just don't. The elderly Juan McCain knows this and is using it to his advantage yet again with another negative spanishy language ad.

Translation at Hotline

Crazy Racist Aunt Dabbles In Art Of Poetry

She just luuuuuuuuuuvs to hit Forward to all.

via my BBry about 5 mins ago:

Welfare Poem - oh boy you will love this


I cross ocean,
poor and broke,
Take bus,
see employment folk.

Nice man treat me
good in there,
Say I need to
see welfare.

Welfare say,
'You come no more,
We send cash
right to your door.'

Welfare checks,
they make you wealthy,
Medicaid it keep
you healthy!

By and by,
I get plenty money,
Thanks to you,
American dummy.

Write to friends
in motherland,
Tell them 'come
fast as you can.'

They come in turbans
and Ford trucks,
I buy big house
with welfare bucks

They come here,
we live together,
More welfare checks,
it gets better!

Fourteen families,
they moving in,
But neighbor's patience
wearing thin.

Finally, white guy
moves away,
Now I buy his house,
and then I say,
'Find more aliens
for house to rent.'
And in the yard
I put a tent.

Send for family
they just trash,
But they, too,
draw the welfare cash!
Everything is
very good,
And soon we
own the neighborhood.

We have hobby
it's called breeding,
Welfare pay
for baby feeding.

Kid's need dentist?
Wife's need pills?
We get free!
We got no bills!

American's crazy!
He pay all year,
To keep welfare
running here.

We think America
darn good place!
Too darn good for
the white man race.
If they no like us, they can
scram,


Got lots of room in Pakistan .
It is interesting that the federal government provides a single refugee with a monthly allowance of $1,890.00 and each can also get an additional $580.00 in social assistance for a total of$2,470.00.

This compares very well to a single pensioner who after contributing to the growth and development of America for 40 to 50 years can only receive a monthly maximum of $1,012.00 in old age pension and Guaranteed Income Supplement.

Maybe our pensioners should apply as refugees!

Lets send this to all Americans, so we can all be ticked off and maybe we can get the refugees cut back to $1,012.00 and the pensioners up to $2,470 00 and enjoy some of the money we were forced to submit to the Government over the last 40 or 50 years.

Please forward to every American to expose what our elected politicians have been doing over the past 11 years - to the over-taxed American.

SEND THIS TO EVERY AMERICAN TAXPAYER YOU KNOW!!


A delightful mix of prose and xenophobia. Whitman would be proud.

Juan McCain's Jesusy New Ad

En Español!!!

Young Mexican Child King Defends His Lust For Balls

Bobby "Van Helsing" Jindal speaks out on FOX.

Her Backseat Debut

Side note: St. Barack paid his dues to help pull the Clintons out of poverty.

Lou Dobbs Leads Brave March Against Tomato Mexicans

IMPEACHMENT!!!

And You Thought It Was Over

We can all pretty much agree that President W is the most awesomest POTUS of all time. Waaaaaaaaay better than his crybaby dad.

But how awesome will President Jeb Bush be? Will he start a war with Yemen? Will he use any of W's dance moves? Will he sell America to his Mexican wife's Mexican friends in Mexico?

Let's find out why the Bush family will only be in Paraguay for about 4 years, until President WALNUTS! kicks it after a tragic Rascal accident while campaigning for re-election in 2012:

President Bush was asked by a SkyNews correspondent whether the end of his term marked the end of the Bush presidential dynasty that began with his father’s Oval Office tenure 20 years ago.

In response, Bush singled out his brother, who has often been mentioned as a possible Republican presidential contender. "Well, we've got another one out there who did a fabulous job as governor of Florida, and that's Jeb,” he said. “But you know, you better ask him whether or not he's thinking of running. But he'd be a great president."

via CNN

Email From Crazy Racist Aunt Of The Day

If you think this series of tubes is just for helping poor Nigerian bankers unfreeze their money or finding pics of Christopher Atkins' 1982 Playgirl spread, you're dead wrong.

It's also a great tool to spread your own brand of crazy racism and religious demagoguery by simply hitting "Forward to all".

My aunt delivered today, with this delightful rant about brown people stealing scholarships.

Enjoy:

This is a subject close to my heart. Do you know that we have adult students at the school where I teach who are not US citizens and who get the PELL grant, which is a federal grant (no pay back required) plus other federal grants to go to school?

One student from the Dominican Republic told me that she didn't want me to find a job for her after she finished my program, because she was getting housing from our housing department and she was getting a PELL grant which paid for her total tuition and books, plus money leftover.

She was looking into WAIT which gives students a CREDIT CARD for gas to come to school, and into CARIBE which is a special program (check it out - I did) for immigrants and it pays for child care and all sorts of needs while they go to school or training. The one student I just mentioned told me she was not going to be a US Citizen because she plans to return to the Dominican Republic someday and that she 'loves HER country.'

I asked her if she felt guilty taking what the US is giving her and then not even bothering to become a citizen and she told me that it doesn't bother her, because that is what the money is there for!

I asked the CARIBE administration about their program and if you ARE a US Citizen, you don't qualify for their program. And all the while, I am working a full day, my son-in-law works more than 60 hours a week, and everyone in my family works and pays for our education.

Something is wrong here. I am sorry but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Spanish - enough is enough. Nowhere did they sing it in Italian, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German or any other language because of immigration. It was written by Francis Scott Key and should be sung word for word the way it was written. The news broadcasts even gave the translation -- not even close. Sorry if this offends anyone but this is MY COUNTRY.

IF IT IS YOUR COUNTRY SPEAK UP -- please pass this along. I am not against immigration -- just come through like everyone else.

Get a sponsor; have a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past -- and GOD BLESS AMERICA!

PART OF THE PROBLEM, Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is Time for America to Speak up If you agree -- pass this along, if you don't agree --- delete it!


You're welcome.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, Brown People!!!

The elderly Panamanian, Juan McCain, is celebrating today's drunken Messican holiday by launching his new website: Juan McCain in Espanol!!!

The new spanish language site features Pawpaw's talking points in festive jibber jabber, videos with authentic footage of the veteran fighting in the Spanish-American War, and even a spot to donate your pesos and Chiclets to help support Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™.

Somewhere, Tom Tancredo is sobbing.

via JuanMcCain/espanol

Elderly Juan McCain Really Is A Senile Mean Old Fuck

The Washington Post interviewed a billion people to prove it. Here are some of the accounts proving that Pawpaw should just forget this president business and take a nap:

It was early 1992, and the occasion was an informal gathering of a select committee investigating lingering issues about Vietnam War prisoners and those missing in action, most notably whether any American servicemen were still being held by the Vietnamese. It is unclear precisely what issue set off McCain that day. But at some point, he mocked Grassley to his face and used a profanity to describe him. Grassley stood and, according to two participants at the meeting, told McCain, "I don't have to take this. I think you should apologize."

McCain refused and stood to face Grassley. "There was some shouting and shoving between them, but no punches," recalls a spectator, who said that Nebraska Democrat Bob Kerrey helped break up the altercation.

...Part of the paradox of McCain is that many of the old targets of his volcanic temper are now his campaign contributors. Former Phoenix mayor Paul Johnson is one example. In 1992, during a private meeting of Arizona officials over a federal land issue that affected the state, a furious McCain openly questioned Johnson's honesty. "Start a tape recorder -- it's best when you get a liar on tape," McCain said to others in the meeting, according to an account of their "nose-to-nose, testosterone-filled" argument that Johnson later provided to reporters.

...In 1994, McCain tried to stop a primary challenge to the state's Republican governor, J. Fife Symington III, by telephoning his opponent, Barbara Barrett, the well-heeled spouse of a telecommunications executive, and warning of unspecified "consequences" should she reject his advice to drop out of the race. Barrett stayed in. At that year's state Republican convention, McCain confronted Sandra Dowling, the Maricopa County school superintendent and, according to witnesses, angrily accused her of helping to persuade Barrett to enter the race.

"You better get [Barrett] out or I'll destroy you," a witness claims that McCain shouted at her. Dowling responded that if McCain couldn't respect her right to support whomever she chose, that he "should get the hell out of the Senate." McCain shouted an obscenity at her, and Dowling howled one back.

However, we have to cut him a break. He is a war hero that lost his shins and killed fitty men.

Plus, you would be angry too if your balls smelled like Depends.

via WaPo

Mexico Bill Saga Continues

Yesterday, we reported a story describing Bubba yelling at a room full of superdelegates about Bill Richardson being a Judas. Today, there are a few more details...atleast from the Clinton perspective:

While lobbying for his endorsement, Hillary Rodham Clinton flatly told New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson that Barack Obama could not win the presidency if he got the Democratic nomination.

"He cannot win, Bill. He cannot win," she said, according to a report by ABC News.

Despite her appeal, Richardson ultimately endorsed Obama - which sent Bill Clinton into a purple rage last weekend during a private meeting with California superdelegates.

"Five times to my face [Richardson] said that he would never do that," the former president thundered.

Funny thing.....Mexico Bill didn't promise Clinton, Inc. jack shit:

"I never did," Richardson told CNN. "I never saw [President Clinton] five times. I saw him when he watched the Super Bowl with me. We made it very clear to him that he shouldn't expect an endorsement after that meeting."

...In the interview Wednesday, Richardson acknowledged he was "very close to endorsing" Clinton, but decided not to after the campaign got "nasty."

"I held back. I waited. I felt the campaign got nasty. I heard Senator Obama; he would talk to me continuously," Richardson said.

"The Clintons should get over this," he added.

via NY Post / CNN

One Group Of Scary People Overtakes Other Group Of Scary People

According to the Vatican, Islam has overtaken Roman Catholicism as the largest "single religious denomination in the world.":

Monsignor Vittorio Formenti, who compiled the Vatican's newly-released 2008 yearbook of statistics, said Muslims made up 19.2 percent of the world's population and Catholics 17.4 percent.

"For the first time in history we are no longer at the top: the Muslims have overtaken us," Formenti told Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano in an interview, saying the data referred to 2006.

He said that if all Christian groups were considered, including Orthodox churches, Anglicans and Protestants, then Christians made up 33 percent of the world's population -- or about 2 billion people.

The Vatican recently put the number of Catholics in the world at 1.13 billion people. It did not provide a figure for Muslims, generally estimated at around 1.3 billion.

The report stated the reason for this was higher birth rates among Muslims, which is news to us.

Either way, Lou Dobbs should really back off the Messicans and reconsider his position.

I for one would rather press 1 for English than have to forego libations.

via Reuters

Crazy Lou Dobbs Slips Up, Confirms What We Already Know

From Wonkette:

Do you know who Lou Dobbs, the orange-headed anti-Mexican elitist, hates more than The Illegals? Cotton-pickin' politicians such as Condoleezza Rice! You see, "cotton-pickin'" refers to people who pick cotton, and is a term of derision used by angry old men of a certain age who prefer arcane insults over nice all-purpose Anglo-Saxon adjectives. Fortunately for Dobbs, he stops himself midway through this terrible slur and avoids touching that tar baby.




via Wonkette

Mexican Emo Judgement Day 2008™

Thinking about wearing your sister's pants while on spring break in Acapulco? Think again.

Angry Messicans are flooding the streets looking for emo boy-kissers:

A bizarre wave of mob emo-bashings is sweeping across Mexico. The movement is being generated on message boards and social networking sites by non-emo youth who highly dislike like the emo look and attitude.

The spark came first in Queretaro on March 7. An estimated 800 young people poured into the city's Centro Historico hunting for emos to beat the crap out of. They found some. The next weekend it spread to Mexico City, where emos faced off against punks and rockabillies at the Glorieta de Insurgents, the epicenter of emo social space in the capital. There's also been reports of anti-emo violence in Durango, Colima, and elsewhere.



Now the emus are fighting back, presumably by throwing hair brushes or razors that were already lodged in their arms.

via Intersections

"It is now time for a new generation of leadership"

From HuffPo:

"There is no doubt in my mind that Barack Obama has the judgment and courage we need in a commander in chief when our nation's security is on the line," Richardson said. "He showed this judgment by opposing the Iraq war from the start, and he has shown it during this campaign by standing up for a new era in American leadership internationally."

Obama embraced the endorsement of an accomplished figure on the world stage who "understands the importance of restoring diplomacy as a central part of our national security strategy."

Both men have proposed negotiating with enemies as well as friends, while Clinton has emphasized the need to press for changes in repressive or hostile regimes before engaging with them at the presidential level.

But there were also personal aspects to Richardson's swing behind Obama. He noted that both are the sons of one foreign-born parent _ Obama's father was from Kenya, Richardson's mother was from Mexico.

And Richardson told of the time, during one of the many Democratic debates, when his attention wandered and he didn't hear the question that came at him. Obama, then his rival, bailed him out by whispering to him that it was about Hurricane Katrina.

"He could have thrown me under the bus," Richardson cracked, "but he stood behind me."






The predictable Clintonian response:

Former Democratic presidential candidate and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson finally made up his mind and endorsed Sen. Barack Obama today, but a senior advisor to Sen. Hillary Clinton's campaign--which likewise spent months courting the governor's nod--dismissed its significance.

"Look, I think that everyone has their endorsers," said senior Clinton strategist Mark Penn, adding-with a little huff-"I think New Mexico is a state that actually, we won."

"The time that he could have been effective has long since passed," he continued, "I don't think it is a significant endorsement in this environment."



via HuffPo

Mexico Bill To Endorse Obama

Even though Bill Richardson and Bill Clinton are Superbowl buddies, Mexico Bill will join his sweaty hand with Sen. Unicorn's in holy endorsement matrimony:

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, the nation's only Hispanic governor, is endorsing Sen. Barack Obama for president, calling him a "once-in-a-lifetime leader" who can unite the nation and restore America's international leadership.

..."I believe he is the kind of once-in-a-lifetime leader that can bring our nation together and restore America's moral leadership in the world," Richardson said in a statement obtained by the AP. "As a presidential candidate, I know full well Sen. Obama's unique moral ability to inspire the American people to confront our urgent challenges at home and abroad in a spirit of bipartisanship and reconciliation."

Richardson's endorsement also could help Obama pick up support among Hispanics, who are the nation's largest and fastest-growing minority.

No doubt Bill wants that veep slot, which is totally cool by me.

Imagine block parties/cookouts on the National Mall on Fridays followed by mariachi parties on the White House lawn on Sundays.

America is awsome.

via AP