Good News, Hobos!!! Here's Some Free Drugs For Your Penis!!!

The poors may not be able to get their hands on Chantix or Combivir, but now they can sex some sluts real good, gratis:


Pfizer Inc. is unveiling a new program Thursday that will let people who have lost their jobs and health insurance keep taking some widely prescribed Pfizer medications — including Lipitor and Viagra — for free for up to a year.

The world's biggest drugmaker will provide more than 70 of its prescription drugs at no cost to unemployed, uninsured Americans, regardless of their prior income, who lost jobs since Jan. 1 and have been on the Pfizer drug for three months or more.

The announcement comes amid massive job losses caused by the recession and a campaign in Washington to rein in health care costs and extend coverage. The move could earn Pfizer some goodwill in that debate after long being a target of critics of drug industry prices and sales practices.

..."There's a long-term benefit there, beyond the goodwill and the publicity," said David Heupel, health care portfolio manager at Thrivent Large Cap Growth Fund. "Pfizer is trying to maintain their (market) share, if not grow their share" by keeping people from switching to generic versions of its drugs to save money.

"If you're already taking medication that's working, typically doctors don't push to change it," Heupel said.

Pfizer's program comes at a time when many drugmakers, including Pfizer, have been raising prices on their drugs, partly to offset declines in revenue as the global recession reduces the number of prescriptions people can afford to fill.

The idea for the program came just five weeks ago, at a leadership training meeting, as the workers discussed how many patients are struggling, Puente said.

"It was my idea," he said. "I floated it, and the reception it got was so dramatic that it very quickly became our idea."


via MSNBC

Hobo Mittens Sells 2 Homes; Now Only Has 2 Homes

Famous Scientologist and failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney wants America to know he is a man of the people. He feels your pain and whatnot:


Newsmagazine trends come and go, but some irrefutable evidence has emerged to prove this one's for real: Renowned trendsetter Mitt Romney is doing without. According to the Belmont Citizen-Herald, he and his wife just sold their Boston home for $3.5 million—the second multimillion-dollar home they've sold in the past month. The Romneys began the year with four McMansions—in Massachusetts, Utah, California, and New Hampshire. Now they're making do with two.

...In the run-up to the 2008 primaries, Romney gave himself a conservative makeover, trading in the moderate stands he had been forced to assume to run for office in Massachusetts. This time, with his conservative credentials in order, he seems to be eyeing a different transformation—from master of the universe to man of the people.

Romney has always been the mood ring of the Republican Party, so the sell-off seems the perfect symbol of a broader movement among Republicans: They're downsizing! Demand is slack, and it's too soon to know when they'll find the bottom.

...when new owners buy a $5.25 million, 9,500-square-foot ski villa in Deer Valley, Utah, and a $3.5 million, 6,400-square-foot, 13-room home in Boston, is that a sign of the New Frugality—or proof that even in hard times, there is always New Money?

...The biggest question about Romney's downsizing, however, is more fundamental. Given his balance sheet, are the two McMansions he sold really the most urgent liabilities to shed? There's not much point bothering with one concession to political reality (that most voters can barely afford one home, let alone two or four) while continuing to deny a more important political reality: Most voters don't buy the conservative economic foundations on which Romney's political future is built.

President Unicorn Delivers Eloquent Faux-SOTU Address

President Obama offered a grim portrait of America's plight in an address to a joint session of Congress last night, but he promised to lead an economic renewal that would lift the country out of its current crisis without bankrupting its future.

Striking an optimistic tone that has been absent from his speeches in recent weeks, the president said his stimulus plan, bank bailout proposal, housing programs and health-care overhaul would work in concert to turn around the nation's struggling economy. And while he bluntly described a country beset by historic economic challenges and continued threats abroad, he said the solution lies in directly confronting -- not ignoring -- those problems.

"The weight of this crisis will not determine the destiny of this nation," he said. "The answers to our problems don't lie beyond our reach. They exist in our laboratories and universities, in our fields and our factories, in the imaginations of our entrepreneurs and the pride of the hardest-working people on Earth."

In an address that largely shunned foreign policy to focus on the economy, Obama added: "Now is the time to jump-start job creation, restart lending, and invest in areas like energy, health care and education that will grow our economy, even as we make hard choices to bring our deficit down."

The 52-minute speech was greeted with sustained applause in the House chamber, which he had helped populate with more members of his party. Republican and Democratic lawmakers alike rose repeatedly to offer their approval of the president's rhetoric and his promise of recovery.

via WaPo

Checkin' In With Chuck

Famous Republican bouncer and homosexual mutilation fetishist Chuck Norris has written yet another masterpiece for the Mexican webpamphlet WorldNetDaily:

An old Spanish proverb says, "An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy." I believe that value will hold, in or out of a recession. And being that my 87-year-old mother lived through the Great Depression, I think her value (and those like her) will actually increase through these tough economic times, because their insider wisdom can help us all.

Like in the 1930s, many today are counting on government to be the savior, but thus far all that's resulting from bailouts is a ballooning repayment schedule – just like back then. Fox News recently highlighted that the total federal outlays in 1929 were $3.1 billion (less than 3 percent of GDP). By 1940, they tripled to $9.5 billion (10 percent of GDP). Worse still, the total federal debt mushroomed fom $17 billion in 1929 (16 percent of GDP) to $43 billion in 1940 (44 percent of GDP). And yet, unemployment remained at 15 percent.


Snoozer, right?

Wrong.

Read a little further and find out why we really are a nation of whiners. Have you ever wiped your ass with a magazine in an outhouse? Better yet, have you ever seen one of these outhouses? Didn't think so, liberal fags:

Like with most, Mother's family didn't have running water or electricity. And Granny Scarberry did her best to keep the outhouse clean, with Grandpa helping through his regular deposits of lye to control the odors. (You can imagine how the hot, humid Oklahoma summers turned that outside commode into one small-closet-sized smelly sauna.) A "scavenger wagon" would come by once a week and clean out the hole. It had a small chair-like contraption over it with the hole punched out of the center. (They once had a two-seater in there, which allowed for two people to enjoy one another's company and conversation – mom told me that she always felt a little upper class when she sat with someone else.) By the way, and I'm not trying to be crude, toilet tissue wasn't around, so they used a Montgomery Ward catalogue. (And you wondered why the catalog was so thick?) No joke – they preferred the non-glossy pages. I'll let you figure out why.

Got the picture?


Yes. Chuck Norris' mother hates Capitalism™.

The rest of the article includes healthy tips from Mother on how to make the best of being a hobo the end.

Morning (News) Dump

Known homosexual governor Charlie Crist is ready to get behind Obama and support his stimulus package.

The world almost ended September 18.

We have a president who can string together intelligible sounds.

The douchebaggery continues.

Obama wants to get Sean Hannity drunk, who will be vigorously date raped by the President's enormous stimulus package.

Black folk would now like to rule the world.

A couple of months from now, only 7 people in the country will have a job. See you at the unemployment office, hobos!

Further Evidence Kanye West & Friends™ Are Big Mos

Kanye and his girlfriends went to Fashion Week, Sex in the City style as pictured above, and got called horrible names like "gay" and "clown" because they dressed like gay hobo clowns from the future.

This did not sit well with Kanye's barber and image consultant, Ibn Jasper, who is a man that dresses and cuts the hair of a homosexual for a living.

Jasper lashed out, threatening the internets Michael Steele style:

...And for the record, aint NONE OF US "gay"or a "clown". What's so funny to me about it , is that we dress like grown men.

And let's not forget that we are from the streets of Chicago, aint nothing sweet over here. We aint no punks! Getting dressed up and stunting on people is all a part of the Pimp/ Player culture that we were raised in. You guys might have just seen that type of stuff in movies like "The Mack" and "Pimps Up, Hoes Down", but that is what we grew up around, lived and saw everyday. To this day, my father says that he raised all of his sons to be Pimps. I already have broken and scratched up knuckles from steeling on and smacking the sh!t out of dudes that tried to underestimate me and call me out of my name. If someone wants to be the next victim I would be more that happy to grant them that wish...


Here's our favorite part:


Activity Day from ibn jasper on Vimeo.

We pop them thangs too, don't get it twisted....

I'm not on no tough sh!t, I just know how to defend myself. I learned how to shoot guns correctly in my highschool R.O.T.C. class.

via Gawker

House Fastracks Process Of Americans Becoming Cannibalistic Bums

The $700 billion bailout was defeated in the House, 228 - 205.

The Dow is down 690.

Long story short, we'll all be fighting over refrigerator boxes and gizzards of the elderly and the weak within a few months, whie Nancy Pelosi returns to her former position as the Estee Lauder lady at Saks.

Women Cunt!

HuffPo stalked Hillary Clinton today and listened to a 10 min speech that she held in a dumpster in a seedy downtown Denver alley. With the rest of the hobos.

She spoke to her lady bitters about voting and MoveOn and the Dem party, but def not Barry Hussein.

If this speech is anything like what she'll give tonight, then I'm really gonna have to buy more booze. However, put a sign behind her like this that says "Women Count" and at the right timing (2:33 in this vid) it'll atleast be entertaining.

Obama's Convention Still All About Hillary

Never Forget.

Never Forget that the 2008 Democratic Primary contestant with lady parts is a stupid hobo that spent all of her money on a bitter loser campaign.

So, donate now. The big red button says so.

If you do, there's a chance to can fly out to Denver with Hillary on BitterForce1 and probably get felt up by a drunken Bill on the way.

Bonus Fun: Read the first and only comment so far.

Help Obama Family Adopt A Hobo AIDS Dog

Hey, remember that video where St. Barack of Obama pimped out his Mooslim family for an interview where they discussed getting a dog?

Now there's a site called Obama Family Dog that wants the First Family to adopt one of those horrible kennel dogs that have various assortments of fleas, manges, and gonorrheas:

If Sen. Barack Obama becomes president, he'll instantly be faced with decisions that will affect millions of Americans. Obama will also soon be making a decision that could affect millions of American dogs. It has been reported that once the election is over, the Obamas will be looking for a new four-legged family member (much to his daughters' delight).

The American Kennel Club (AKC) has suggested five types of purebred dogs that would fit the Obamas' lifestyle. While we don't disagree that it's important to choose a dog that matches well with the family, mixed breeds should certainly be considered along with pure breeds. Also, whether purebred or mutt, we believe the Obamas should make a winning choice and adopt a family dog, not buy one.

Sign the petition, unless you want the terrorists to win. It's your duty as an American.

Her Backseat Debut

Side note: St. Barack paid his dues to help pull the Clintons out of poverty.

Jabba The Penn Blames Loss On Clintons Being Hobos

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. So all she needed was a cashfan.

From NY Times:

While everyone loves to talk about the message, campaigns are equally about money and organization. Having raised more than $100 million in 2007, the Clinton campaign found itself without adequate money at the beginning of 2008, and without organizations in a lot of states as a result. Given her successes in high-turnout primary elections and defeats in low-turnout caucuses, that simple fact may just have had a lot more to do with who won than anyone imagines.

BREAKING NEWS: Panama Shitty Gets Some Books

Above is a video of the grand opening of the Bay County Public Library located in Panama Shitty.

They have a couple of books, some of those crazy picture boxes with typewriters, and lots and lots of empty space for hobos to pretend they're reading while they piss in the corner.

Watch the whole thing for a musical act that you'll never forget. No matter how hard you try.

via Panama Shitty News Herald

Chris Matthews Fascinated By Hobo America

Chris Matthews should have stopped while he was ahead. But that will never happen because he is always talking.

Here's a gem from Media Matters:

Summary: On Hardball, Chris Matthews said of Sen. Barack Obama: "I think, being an African-American, it's all the more important to get in there and show who you are, introduce yourself as a person, not as an identity group, but as a human being, and connect with people. I think that's still going to be his challenge." Matthews then stated: "Playing pool, not a bad start, but it's not what most people play. People with money play pool these days." Matthews added: "The guys who have pool rooms in their house in the basement. You know what those tables cost?"

Only In Panama Shitty

A hobo walking his pet racoon on a leash.

Money quote, when he was stopped by offended witnesses:

Mine. It’s mine. I trapped, I caught it, it’s mine

via NWF Daily News

Hopey To Lend Hobo Hillary A Dolla'

Change she can believe in may be dropping into Cankles' tin cup:

On Friday, Barack Obama publicly raised the possibility of helping Hillary Clinton pay off more than $25 million in debts, including the $11.42 million she loaned her own campaign to keep it afloat in recent months.

"Historically after a campaign is done and you want to unify the party, particularly when you've had a strong opponent, you want to make sure you're putting that opponent in a strong position so that they can work to win an election in November. So, obviously, I would want to have a broad range of discussions with Senator Clinton about how I could make her feel good about
the process and have her on the team moving forward."

The dreamy Messiah can't directly give her a WIC card, but he can "send out a solicitation in Clinton's behalf to his own donors and to other donor lists, asking for contributions to be directed to her campaign"hold a joint fundraiser with the money split between Clinton and Obama".

The kicker is that up to about $10 million of that debt is owed to Jabba the Penn, who now spends his time eating the children of Colombia.

The prospect of Obama actually having compassion for Thundercunt has set Hopetards off in a tizzy, as they would much prefer him to choke a bitch.

via HuffPo

Larry Craig Is Now A Gay Hobo

The Idaho Bathroom Goblin is finding out the hard way that it would have been way cheaper to pick some dude up online:

Per the Senate ethics committee's Feb. 13 "admonition" of him for his guilty plea to disorderly conduct charges, Craig has not paid any of his top-flight lawyers from his campaign committee since early February. The last legal payment from Craig for U.S. Senate, in the form of an $80,695 check, went out on Feb. 3 to Billy Martin's firm of Sutherland Asbill & Brennan.

According to reports his campaign committee filed with the Federal Election Commission, that put Craig's total legal tab at more than $407,000 since he was arrested June 11 at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in an undercover sting designed to root out lewd behavior.

via HuffPo

Locals Getting Annoyed By Hobos

Folks in the Panhandle of Florida are getting tired of homeless people being all homeless and asking for money and stuff.

So, the local newspaper comes to the rescue with an interview of one of these urban outdoorsman asking him if being homeless is as awesome as it looks.

There's also an interview with a local douche intertubes site owner who says that said hobos are scaring off young ladies from partying here, which cuts in to his poon cache.

Hillary Clinton Is Now A Televangelist

Even though most people hate her, she keeps asking for money.

Tomorrow's NY Times is carrying a story about even more people than the everyone but the people she pays crowd hate Sen. Thundercunt and are tired of giving the hobo a dolla':

Senator Barack Obama is swamping Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton with television advertising in their prolonged battle for the Democratic nomination, putting fresh pressure on Mrs. Clinton’s fund-raising machine to find new sources of money to help her keep pace.

But her big-dollar fund-raising apparatus that was once the envy of the political world is encountering obstacles as many of those in its regular networks of donors have reached the maximum on their personal contributions or grown tired of the relentless press for donations.

The campaign is actively hunting for new wellsprings of cash, while tapped-out donors who want to give more are contemplating financing independent efforts on her behalf that are not bound by contribution limits. So far, however, the independent efforts have been halting at best.

The Times also has great accounts of why people are really tired of Clinton, Inc.:

This tension was neatly distilled in a heated conversation in January between a prominent Clinton supporter and Cameron Kerry, the younger brother of Senator John Kerry, who had just endorsed Mr. Obama.

In the telling of two Democrats familiar with the discussion, one from each camp, the Clinton supporter, a Democratic fund-raiser with close ties to both Mrs. Clinton and John Kerry, noted that Mr. Clinton campaigned for Mr. Kerry in 2004, even though the former president had just undergone bypass surgery.

To which Cameron Kerry parried that his brother had agreed to fly with Mr. Clinton on Air Force One after the impeachment vote “when no one wanted to be seen with him.”


...To this day, the Clinton and Kerry camps disagree over whether Mr. Kerry had made promises to intermediaries not to take sides.

He then publicly criticized Mr. Clinton’s conduct before the South Carolina primary. “And he was dead to us,” said one prominent Clinton supporter who is, in his words, “not authorized to trash Kerry on the record.”

Then, this gem about Sen. Claire McCaskill basically saying that Bill Clinton would rape her daughter given the chance:

There is also a large class of Obama supporters in the Senate for whom the Clintons raised considerable amounts of money. This includes Claire McCaskill of Missouri, who upset Mrs. Clinton in a 2006 appearance on “Meet the Press” when she told Tim Russert that while Mr. Clinton was a great leader, “I don’t want my daughter near him.”