Morning Dump

Surprise!

Guess what?! The White House has a fever, and the only prescription... is more KalPenn.

The problems of the world won't be solved by love alone. You need the opposite of love too... and by "opposite" we mean Scientology.

Tiny chinaman hobbit weeps.

What exactly does Joe Biden do for a living?

This thing is still going on?

Morning Dump

The Ayatollah did not care for Barack's sexy rap music video. Guess he's more of a traditional "flowers and chocolates" kind of girl.

Someone should tell the president it's not a good idea to hire a Treasury Secretary that spends money like a soccer mom at an outlet store all hopped up on goofballs.

VP Biden finally finds an appropriate place to say inappropriate things.

There is no such thing as shutting up Barney Frank.

Having a hard time jump-starting your career? Have you tried the Afghan job market?

Or try applying at the Washington Post. Seems like they'll hire anyone.

Morning Dump

Jim Cramer will appear on the Daily Show Thursday to duel Jon Stewart to the death. Also, Jim Cramer is a moron.

South Carolina first state to refuse Obama government cheese. SC will also change their state motto to "Two men enter, one man leave. Welcome to Thunderdome!"

Meet your new Narc.

Recession hits GOP, forcing them to eat leftovers.

If you wanna rewrite history, wait until most of the people who were there are dead.

President Obama will never work in Hollywood.

Washington State Senate passes domestic partnership bill by wide margin.

Morning (News) Dump

Obama hottie speechwriter Jon Favreau was thrown under the bus by the NY Times. The bright side is that you can now call his cell and hear the hypnotic melody that is his voicemail.

Canadian fighters intercepted a Russian bomber while President Unicorn was visiting the country. Canada has fighter jets...you learn something new every day.

U.S. set to shoot down any large sparklers North Korea launches.

With W out and BO in, Michele Bachmann has developed a terminal case of jungle fever.

Justice Dept. transforms in to Woodstock within a month of transition.

Republicans better not say shit about any cute nicknames Dems come up with in 2011.

Mittens robbed again...this time of jewelry.

W and Laura are officially hobos.

Morning (News) Dump

Known homosexual governor Charlie Crist is ready to get behind Obama and support his stimulus package.

The world almost ended September 18.

We have a president who can string together intelligible sounds.

The douchebaggery continues.

Obama wants to get Sean Hannity drunk, who will be vigorously date raped by the President's enormous stimulus package.

Black folk would now like to rule the world.

A couple of months from now, only 7 people in the country will have a job. See you at the unemployment office, hobos!