Florida Pays For Very Expensive Beard

The St. Petersburg Times ran an interesting piece yesterday about the cost of protecting fancy Charlie Crist's wife, Carole, and her two kids.....who do not live with Crist.

From The Juice:


In the past six months, it cost the Florida Department of Law Enforcement $57,000 to protect Carole Crist and her two kids. This is hardly an eye-popping figure, when compared to the $208,000 once spent to protect former first lady Columba Bush.

But the story also points out that Carole Crist's daughters live in New York, while she has a house in Fisher Island, and has only made rare public appearances since marrying Crist last December. Which calls into question whether Crist's new family is much of a family at all.

Rumors have swirled for years that Crist is gay, but mainstream media outlets such as the St. Petersburg Times have largely ignored them. Then along came the documentary Outrage, which exposes closeted Republican politicians who champion anti-gay legislation while secretly trolling for lovers in bars and men's bathrooms.

The film debuted in Florida this month, and Crist plays a prominent role in it. Two sources are interviewed on camera saying they had been at parties where a GOP staffer told friends that he had a physical relationship with Crist. ( New Times' Bob Norman first reported these allegations and more about Crist's mysterious personal life in 2006). Outrage also points out that Crist, a longtime bachelor, only seems to find a girlfriend--or wife--at politically expedient moments.

Crist, of course, has repeately denied having sex with men. But if everyone in the mainstream media believes him, why does one of the most venerable papers in the state need to make a stink about his new wife being MIA?

First Shot Fired In Florida US Senate Cat Fight

Speeding things along with the whole "Charlie Crist is a big flaming homo who will spend most of his 6 year term in Washington urinals" theme, GOP challenger Marco Rubio released this ad of the orange Florida dandy making out with his long-term boyfriend, Barack Obama.

This is going to be a fabulous race to watch.

Well, Who Can Argue With One More Closeted GOP Senator?

Florida's Governer and reigning George Hamilton impersonator Charlie Crist is running away from his wife for Senate!!!

Oh my, how Lindsay Graham must be getting the vapors at the thought of he and Crist, arm in arm, mincing around D.C., balls deep in it's glorious nightlife.

From Politico:

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) will be announcing Tuesday that he will be running for the Senate, according to a source close to the governor, giving Republicans their most high-profile recruit of the 2010 election cycle.

Crist's decision puts Republicans in strong position to hold onto the seat held by retiring Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) Crist holds high approval ratings among both Republicans and Democrats, according to statewide polling, and has forged a moderate governing style that has won him widespread support.

His decision to run came as little surprise to political observers, with the governor and his allies hinting of his interest in running for Congress over the last several months.



Now (and you knew this was coming) Crist has a Twitter page where he announced his candidacy himself...or maybe with the help of his wife as he's still trying to get this twat thing down:

After thoughtful consideration with my wife Carole, I have decided to run for the U.S. Senate.


We're gonna stay on top of the story. It really ought to be a page turner.

Morning (News) Dump

Known homosexual governor Charlie Crist is ready to get behind Obama and support his stimulus package.

The world almost ended September 18.

We have a president who can string together intelligible sounds.

The douchebaggery continues.

Obama wants to get Sean Hannity drunk, who will be vigorously date raped by the President's enormous stimulus package.

Black folk would now like to rule the world.

A couple of months from now, only 7 people in the country will have a job. See you at the unemployment office, hobos!

Crist In The Tank For The Black Guy

Our big gay governor, Charlie Crist, extended early voting hours in Florida, which means Obama will win this state by 203%:

This is a very big deal: Florida Governor Charlie Crist, to the shock and dismay of Florida Republicans, just moved to extend early voting hours, a move likely to widen the Democrats' lead under a program on which the Obama campaign has intensely focused.

"He just blew Florida for John McCain," one plugged in Florida Republican just told me.

#10

McCain May Announce Life Partner This Week

Rumors in the internets say that the elderly GOP Condo Association President will unveil the next POTUS (after McCain breaks his hip and cannot complete his term) sometime this week.

Will it be that gay dude?

The young brown childking?

Lord Xenu? (crosses fingers)

This may be telling.

In Case You Forgot, Charlie Crist's Wife Is Up For Re-election

HOLYCRAPYESTHISISHAPPENING!!!!!!!

Our orange gay governor is getting married to a woman, because it is illegal to have a same-sex marriage in Florida.

Other than the fact that Carole Rome is not a make-believe female, the most interesting aspect of this story is the timing......of dumping a ridiculous story on the 4th of July weekend.

Okay, Charlie. This is for the win. If you wanna be life-partner to Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™, it's gotta sound authentic:

"She's special in every way. She's brilliant, beautiful and sweet. I'm very, very lucky," Crist told the St. Petersburg Times in an exclusive interview.

Crist said he picked out the sapphire and diamond ring on Wednesday at the Gold and Diamond Center in St. Petersburg's Northeast Shopping Center.

No date has been set for the wedding, but Crist, 51, said it would be in St. Petersburg, where he is a member of First United Methodist Church. There probably also will be a reception in Tallahassee.

Special in every way? Dude, you sound like Mary Poppins. All we can picture is you and this beard wife......a wife, right?.......your wife "dishing" on shoes and how many pills Cindy took the night John McCain falls asleep at the podium takes the stage at the convention.

Here's some more:

"We've talked about it quite awhile," said Crist, who proposed to Rome, 38, on Thursday morning in his Bayfront Tower condominium in St. Petersburg.

"God bless her, she said yes," he said. "What better place to do it than the 'Burg," said Crist, who said his parents were "ecstatic."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene.


via Halperin / St. Pete Times

Charlie Crist Hates Floridian Women (because he fucks men)

This Sunday's NY Times has an interview with known brunch enthusiast Charlie Crist.

Here's a sneak peek:

For this Sunday's New York Times Magazine, Deborah Solomon coyly sort of raises that issue at the very end.

Solomon kicks it off by stating, "Your personal life is not that of a typical Republican candidate. For starters, I hear you're"-- wait for it -- "not a property owner." Crist replies, "It is true. I do not own property."

Solomon then moves on to, "You were married nearly 30 years ago, but the marriage lasted less than a year. Do you prefer"-- wait for it -- "living alone?" Crist: "I got married and divorced because it didn't work out. I haven't found the right one since." Of course, the use of the word "one" will be parsed for days.

"You can't find one woman in all of Florida?" Solomon helpfully asks.

Crist: "Maybe I have. Stay tuned."

XXX: Charlie Crist's Elevator Makeout Party

What does Gov. Charlie Crist do in his free time, when he's not fellating microphones or the elderly Juan McCain?

Make out with hot chicks in elevators, of course. Like any very straight heterosexual Republican would do:

How interested is Florida Governor Charlie Crist in being John McCain's VP runningmate? So much so that veteran GOP dirty trickster Roger Stone -- who coordinated a few dirty stunts in support of Crist during the 2006 gubernatorial campaign -- is quietly peddling a so-called "Charlie Crist sex tape." That's what Stone called it during a telephone conversation. And no, it is not a tape of Crist having sex with a guy. In fact, it isn't even X-rated. The video was seemingly staged to kill the rumors that Crist is gay. Stone claims the tape -- which he discussed recently with Politics1, but didn't show to us ("I'm saving it for the national shows") -- "shows Charlie fooling around in a hotel elevator with his girlfriend ... They're making out." Adds Stone: "It was captured on a security camera in the elevator" last month. And Stone just conveniently happens to have a copy of the hotel's elevator surveillance tape, just when Crist's name is in play for the VP spot. Hmm. As for Crist's purported girlfriend -- presuming it is the same one he took as his date to the White House Correspondents Dinner in DC a few weeks ago -- she's still married (and not to Crist). Disclaimer: Always be skeptical of anything from Stone.

If Charlie gets the veep nod, expect the DNC to have a surveillance tape of their own.

via Politics1

The Long Weekend

While we were all drinking and getting high on airplane glue over the weekend, some stuff happened:

The Hillbot 2000 was updated with a dancing chip...



A Indian-American, a Space Christian, and a gay dude walk into a ranch...

Bill Clinton once again proved that he hates his wife and her campaign...



St. Barack filled in for Ted Kennedy, who was dicking off on his elitist boat.

Jim Webb Will Kick All Their Asses At The Same Time

The elderly Juan McCain is having a BBQ this weekend for a few dozen guests at his nursing home compund in Sedona. Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney will all be there, in what looks to be a veepstakes three-legged race extravaganza that ends with a "liniment massage" contest.

Who will emerge the victor?

Charlie Crist's Kinda Wife

From Americablog:

I am pretty positive this is an accident (x2), but paging through Bloomberg's official White House Correspondents' Dinner afterparty pictures, I found this and this.

In both photos, Crist has his arm around an attractive brunette woman, and the captions read as follows (emphases mine):

Charlie Crist, governor of Florida, right, and his wife attend an afterparty hosted by Bloomberg LP following the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner in Washington, D.C., on Saturday, April 26, 2008.

Charlie Crist, governor of Florida, and his wife arrive for an afterparty hosted by Bloomberg LP following the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner in Washington, D.C., on Saturday, April 26, 2008.

I did a little digging around, and I don't think Crist is married. In fact, contrary to what the Florida press and Charlie's dad have reported, I thought there was a lot of speculation as to whether Governor Crist ever wanted to marry a woman...again. (He was married once before for about a year back in 1979).

However, if there is any truth to the speculation that he's a possible Republican VP candidate, then someone urging him to be seen with an attractive "wife" at this particular juncture wouldn't be entirely far-fetched.

Condi Will Be Juan McCain's Veep. Someone Said So.

Condi gave a speech yesterday morning at the gathering of Americans for Tax Reform. This obviously means she has beaten out the Florida Orange Governor for the coveted slot of life partner to Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™:

At the semi-secret gatherings which Republican political hopefuls migrate to to get the blessing of not only Norquist but the diverse parts of the nation's conservative money and political machinery, Norquist gives everyone in the room 3 minutes to pitch their cause or issue. I have attended before, but if one wants to attend again -- no one may write or speak about the internal discussion or who attended.

In this case, however, I am not attending -- but a source other than Norquist has leaked this information to The Washington Note and As one major Republican operative told me yesterday:

Someone like Condi Rice doesn't go to Grover Norquist's den to talk about the Annapolis Middle East peace process. She's going to secure her future in Republican politics and to position herself as a 'potential' VP candidate on the McCain ticket.

So there.

via HuffPo

Gov. Charlie Crist's Fondness For Women.......'s Handbags

The Florida Orange (or would that be Orange Florida?) Governor is totally straight, okay?

Even if he does queen out at gay bars after getting tipsy off of three Mint Juleps.

Americablog reports on the possible future life-partner of Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™:

For some reason, the Florida press is pushing several stories feeding the notion that Republican Governor Charlie Crist really likes women. Could this have something to do with rumors that the very-single and always-tan Mr. Crist is being considered as a VP choice for John McCain? (There are other rumors too.) There's this, which is embarrassing enough ("chick magnet"? Yeah, right), and then there's this from his dad, regarding his son's "fondness" for women:

"Always! I mean, I can't keep up with him. And they like him, too."

via Amerciablog / Towleroad

Mulligan

Well, it worked.

Florida Gov. Charlie "I'm totally straight. Look at this hot chick I have dinner with twice a month" Crist and Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm cried and cried until Howard Dean screamed a response:

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean urged Florida and Michigan party officials to come up with plans to repeat their presidential nominating contests so that their delegates can be counted.

"All they have to do is come before us with rules that fit into what they agreed to a year and a half ago, and then they'll be seated," Dean said during a round of interviews Thursday on network and cable TV news programs.

The two state parties will have to find the funds to pay for new contests without help from the national party, Dean said.

"We can't afford to do that. That's not our problem. We need our money to win the presidential race," he said. The DNC offered to pay for an alternative contest in Florida last summer but was turned down, officials at the party say

Maybe we could find the money in Florida's sunless tanning budget for Ernie Charlie, which probably totals about $100,000,000 annually.

via HuffPo

Charlie and the Fudge Factory

Now that Florida Gov.Charlie Crist is rumored to be on Juan McCain's short list for veep, people are starting to talk about the gay thing again.

This time it comes from a Broward-Palm Beach New Times.

Some dude talked to the owner of a bar called the Green Iguana. The owner claims that back in the 90's, Crist used to frequent the bar, hang out with gay dudes, and totally flame out after his 3rd Mint Julep:

When I got Rick Calderoni, the bar's well-known owner, on the phone, I expected him to stonewall me about it.

He didn't.

Calderoni, who is gay, confirmed that Crist came into his bar quite often and that the two of them became friends.

Getting to the point, I asked him if he knew Crist to be gay.

"Yes," he answered bluntly. "I just wish he would come out and admit it. That would be a great thing if he did."

I asked Calderoni if he was certain that Crist is gay. He told me that Crist socialized with a gay clique of friends but conceded that he'd never actually seen Crist become intimate with another man.

So how can he be sure Crist is gay?

"The way he acted," Calderoni said.

How did he act?

Calderoni laughed and said, "Very feminine."

The rest of the story kinda gets boring. I started paying attention again when the writer actually called Bill Clinton a poonhound. It still makes me giggle.

Anywho, if Crist really is gay, then he's a fucking Judas.

via Wonkette