Florida Pays For Very Expensive Beard

The St. Petersburg Times ran an interesting piece yesterday about the cost of protecting fancy Charlie Crist's wife, Carole, and her two kids.....who do not live with Crist.

From The Juice:


In the past six months, it cost the Florida Department of Law Enforcement $57,000 to protect Carole Crist and her two kids. This is hardly an eye-popping figure, when compared to the $208,000 once spent to protect former first lady Columba Bush.

But the story also points out that Carole Crist's daughters live in New York, while she has a house in Fisher Island, and has only made rare public appearances since marrying Crist last December. Which calls into question whether Crist's new family is much of a family at all.

Rumors have swirled for years that Crist is gay, but mainstream media outlets such as the St. Petersburg Times have largely ignored them. Then along came the documentary Outrage, which exposes closeted Republican politicians who champion anti-gay legislation while secretly trolling for lovers in bars and men's bathrooms.

The film debuted in Florida this month, and Crist plays a prominent role in it. Two sources are interviewed on camera saying they had been at parties where a GOP staffer told friends that he had a physical relationship with Crist. ( New Times' Bob Norman first reported these allegations and more about Crist's mysterious personal life in 2006). Outrage also points out that Crist, a longtime bachelor, only seems to find a girlfriend--or wife--at politically expedient moments.

Crist, of course, has repeately denied having sex with men. But if everyone in the mainstream media believes him, why does one of the most venerable papers in the state need to make a stink about his new wife being MIA?

First Shot Fired In Florida US Senate Cat Fight

Speeding things along with the whole "Charlie Crist is a big flaming homo who will spend most of his 6 year term in Washington urinals" theme, GOP challenger Marco Rubio released this ad of the orange Florida dandy making out with his long-term boyfriend, Barack Obama.

This is going to be a fabulous race to watch.

Well, Who Can Argue With One More Closeted GOP Senator?

Florida's Governer and reigning George Hamilton impersonator Charlie Crist is running away from his wife for Senate!!!

Oh my, how Lindsay Graham must be getting the vapors at the thought of he and Crist, arm in arm, mincing around D.C., balls deep in it's glorious nightlife.

From Politico:

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) will be announcing Tuesday that he will be running for the Senate, according to a source close to the governor, giving Republicans their most high-profile recruit of the 2010 election cycle.

Crist's decision puts Republicans in strong position to hold onto the seat held by retiring Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) Crist holds high approval ratings among both Republicans and Democrats, according to statewide polling, and has forged a moderate governing style that has won him widespread support.

His decision to run came as little surprise to political observers, with the governor and his allies hinting of his interest in running for Congress over the last several months.



Now (and you knew this was coming) Crist has a Twitter page where he announced his candidacy himself...or maybe with the help of his wife as he's still trying to get this twat thing down:

After thoughtful consideration with my wife Carole, I have decided to run for the U.S. Senate.


We're gonna stay on top of the story. It really ought to be a page turner.

Local Moron Mentioned On Famous Moron's Show

Jesus jump roping Christ.

In short:

A man who flies a Confederate flag on property he owns on Beal Parkway added two large signs Wednesday to express his feelings about President Barack Obama.

"January 20, 2009, A Day of Darkness, Hussen (sic)" is written on both signs, which are each about the size of a dinner table.

...Property owner Larry Ford said he put up the signs to share his opinion of Obama, who he refers to as "Hussein."

"We've got a man who shouldn't even be president," Ford said when reached by phone Thursday. "He's an insult to the decent, hard-working people that made this country what it is."

By Thursday night, Ford was featured on MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann as the worst person in the world.

Ford said the feedback he'd gotten in the first 24 hours was positive, but he realized there would be those who disagreed with him.

An active-duty military woman who wrote to the Daily News agreed that the property owner had a constitutional right to express his opinion, but said she was upset that the president's middle name is misspelled.

When that was pointed out to Ford, he wasn't concerned.

"I think everybody knows who I'm talking about, don't you?" he said. "American people are the stupidest people in the world, but something like that I think they can figure out."

HOLY LORD A BLACK FAMILY'S DOG ATE A BABY DOWN HERE

Not even kidding:

Henry McGill was pressure washing his home and his wife was in the garage when their dog made a grisly discovery Monday afternoon.

Coco, a 2-year-old Labrador mix, had been whining to get out of their house at 6559 Clear Creek Road. When Tonya McGill let her out, she ran toward a wooded area near State Road 87, dug once into the dirt and retrieved something in her mouth.

"She came back and I asked her ‘What do you have? Put that down," Tonya recalled. "She dropped it at my feet."
Tonya said she wasn't certain what Coco had found at first, but then she recognized a baby's little toes.

Judgement Day

Protests against bigotry are being organized across the country, scheduled for this Saturday.

Locally, there are 2 venues: Panama Shitty and Pcola.

We'll be in Pensacola because it's closer...and because Panama Shitty is a shit hole.

Liveblogging and video will be attempted...pending on alcohol comsumption before and after.

Barry Leading FL

via MSNBC

Crist In The Tank For The Black Guy

Our big gay governor, Charlie Crist, extended early voting hours in Florida, which means Obama will win this state by 203%:

This is a very big deal: Florida Governor Charlie Crist, to the shock and dismay of Florida Republicans, just moved to extend early voting hours, a move likely to widen the Democrats' lead under a program on which the Obama campaign has intensely focused.

"He just blew Florida for John McCain," one plugged in Florida Republican just told me.

Funniest Billboard Since "Never Shake A Baby"

You'd think that the above billboard was paid for by the 9udy '08 campaign. Actually, the man behind the sign is just some redneck named Mike Meehan:

There are billboards up and down busy Orange Blossom Trail, but this at John Young Parkway (see map) one sticks out.

"Just looking at it, I'm not thinking about Democrat or Republican, I'm thinking about the twin towers and all the people killed," resident Mary Anderson told Eyewitness News.

The ad went up last week and is causing quite a reaction.

"Why use the twin towers for that purpose?" Anderson questioned.

The man behind the billboard is Mike Meehan, a St. Cloud businessman and musician. His website advertises a CD and music video titled "The Republican Song," with the chorus, "Don't vote for a Democrat." He's selling CDs for $5.

"This is a blatant exploitation of that terrible tragedy for political and, perhaps even worse, personal gain," said Bill Robinson, Orange County Democratic Party Chair.

And yes, we have the song. Enjoy:

HOLYCRAPYESTHISISHAPPENING!!!!!!!

Our orange gay governor is getting married to a woman, because it is illegal to have a same-sex marriage in Florida.

Other than the fact that Carole Rome is not a make-believe female, the most interesting aspect of this story is the timing......of dumping a ridiculous story on the 4th of July weekend.

Okay, Charlie. This is for the win. If you wanna be life-partner to Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™, it's gotta sound authentic:

"She's special in every way. She's brilliant, beautiful and sweet. I'm very, very lucky," Crist told the St. Petersburg Times in an exclusive interview.

Crist said he picked out the sapphire and diamond ring on Wednesday at the Gold and Diamond Center in St. Petersburg's Northeast Shopping Center.

No date has been set for the wedding, but Crist, 51, said it would be in St. Petersburg, where he is a member of First United Methodist Church. There probably also will be a reception in Tallahassee.

Special in every way? Dude, you sound like Mary Poppins. All we can picture is you and this beard wife......a wife, right?.......your wife "dishing" on shoes and how many pills Cindy took the night John McCain falls asleep at the podium takes the stage at the convention.

Here's some more:

"We've talked about it quite awhile," said Crist, who proposed to Rome, 38, on Thursday morning in his Bayfront Tower condominium in St. Petersburg.

"God bless her, she said yes," he said. "What better place to do it than the 'Burg," said Crist, who said his parents were "ecstatic."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene.


via Halperin / St. Pete Times

Charlie Crist Hates Floridian Women (because he fucks men)

This Sunday's NY Times has an interview with known brunch enthusiast Charlie Crist.

Here's a sneak peek:

For this Sunday's New York Times Magazine, Deborah Solomon coyly sort of raises that issue at the very end.

Solomon kicks it off by stating, "Your personal life is not that of a typical Republican candidate. For starters, I hear you're"-- wait for it -- "not a property owner." Crist replies, "It is true. I do not own property."

Solomon then moves on to, "You were married nearly 30 years ago, but the marriage lasted less than a year. Do you prefer"-- wait for it -- "living alone?" Crist: "I got married and divorced because it didn't work out. I haven't found the right one since." Of course, the use of the word "one" will be parsed for days.

"You can't find one woman in all of Florida?" Solomon helpfully asks.

Crist: "Maybe I have. Stay tuned."

This Is Awesome

via Firedoglake

Now.....STFU or Howard Dean Will Rip Your Throat Out

Ahhh, the sounds of angry white women screaming their protests. That must mean the RBC meeting is over.

The liberal overlords took a 2 hour lunch break, which was spent having crazy sex with prostitutes while shouting passages from the Necronomicon. After cleaning up (by using pages ripped from a Bible) they made a backroom deal and came back to the floor for about another hour to explain in detail how each of the voters in Michigan and Florida can go fuck thelselves.

Both states get a full delegation with 1/2 votes.

Then, ominous words from Harold Ickes:

"Mrs. Clinton has reserved her right to take this to the credentials committee."

The meeting adjourned when Hillary's crazy Aryan She-army started a race riot.

Fucking Suffrage

Dem RBC Meeting Happening Now

What an awesome Saturday. The Democratic Rules and Bylaws Committee is meeting to decide what to do with their bastard Michigan and Florida babies.

Obama would like to abort both, because he is a godless liberal elitist.

Hillary would like to adopt both into her hardworking non-bitter home.

Either way, this is gonna take a real long time. It's already been an excruciating day of passive-aggressive jokes and stupid stories no one wants to hear. Plus, we haven't even gotten around to cashing in Hillary's frequent flier miles, tin cans, and collection of state quarters.

Anywho, as usual, Ben Smith brings the best moment so far:

Donna Brazile -- the only RBC member who gets an ovation whenever she speaks -- says to Jim Blanchard, "you mentioned your momma." (Blanchard had mentioned it was his mother's birthday.)

“My momma always told me to play by the rules,” she says. And if you try to change the rules in the middle of the game, "it's cheating."

Brazile's nominally uncommitted, but it's pretty clear what her sentiments lie.

"Hillary Clinton played by the rules," responds Blanchard.

Satanic Goaterrorist Strikes Again

brickbat, in solidifying our long proven allegience to the Save Teh Goatz project, brings you the latest in an ongoing story that involves headless goats and using rape kits on headless goats:

After more than four months, a fifth decapitated has been found.

This time, it appears as if the body and head might have been thrown from a moving vehicle. That caused the signature leaves and twigs placed in the goat’s mouth to become dislodged and partially scattered, said Dee Thompson-Poirrier, director of animal services with the Panhandle Animal Welfare Society.

The body and head of a black and white pygmy goat were discarded separately at the intersection of Memorial Parkway and Holmes Boulevard late Tuesday or early Wednesday. While it is strikingly similar to the other decapitated goats that have been found, Thompson-Poirrier said it appeared as if the head was almost surgically removed.

Investigators will send the goat off for a complete necropsy, including a toxicology screening and tests to see if the animal was sexually assaulted.

If you can track down the demonic goat fornicator, there's a $500 reeeeward in it fer ya.

via NWF Daily News

Jesus To Be Elected Chairman Of Fort Walton Beach

Wanna get elected in FWB? Then you better start loving some Baby Jeebus, because you're gonna have to pray to his tiny infant ears.

City Councilman Jim Hartwell wants an ordinance demanding:

1) City business must start with asking the famous wizard carpenter to bless and guide important city proceedings, such as zoning permits for tool sheds.

2) Once they have said wizard carpenter on conference call, everyone must stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance; thus ensuring that the terrorists will not win.

From NWF Daily News:

Like many other local government boards, the City Council opens its meetings with an invocation and the Pledge of Allegiance before taking up business.

On Tuesday, the prayer and pledge will become Fort Walton Beach’s business.

City Councilman Jim Hartwell has asked that an ordinance be considered that would require every city board or council to start their meeting with an invocation or moment of silence and the Pledge of Allegiance.

The request comes after the city’s Community Redevelopment Agency this month decided to stop saying a prayer and discussed doing away with the pledge because it offended one of its members.

“I think it’s important that we start our meetings with a prayer and I find it unbelievable that some people would be offended to say the Pledge of Allegiance,” Hartwell said. “If we take God out, we start thinking we can do it all on our own and the city will go downhill.”

...Learning the CRA board had eliminated the invocations from their meetings was a surprise to Charles Sansom Sr., an associate pastor at Family of Faith Community Church on Racetrack Road. Since learning of Tuesday’s council meeting, Sansom has contacted other pastors and residents to ask them to attend in support of Hartwell’s request.

“We live in a tremendous community. A Christian community where people work together and blend together,” Sansom said.

“We need to pray for our city,” Sansom added. “Our city has a lot of needs. One of the most powerful weapons we have against our enemies as Christians is prayer.”

Tonight's Suggested Reading

This, from America's most awesomest coach ever:

Clinton has now found that argument -- she says she will not stop campaigning until the issue of the Florida and Michigan delegates is settled to her satisfaction.

The Florida/Michigan issue get settled, of course, by the Democrats' Rules and Bylaws Committee... unless of course that committee's decision gets appealed to the Credentials Committee... unless of course that decision, too, gets appealed... to the floor of the convention.

Do you see where this is going? If there is an open, unresolved procedural issue involving the Florida and Michigan delegations, Senator Clinton will be able to cite that as her justification for staying in the race until the convention even though she is not ahead in the nomination contest at the end of the primary calendar.

If she can ensure that the Florida and Michigan issue stays unresolved until the convention (and by appealing it every step of the way, I don't see how that can be avoided), then Clinton stays in the race until the convention. Staying in until the convention buys her three more months of campaign time, three more months to make her case to the party and the country, three more months for some potential political unfortunateness to befall Senator Obama.

Then this.

Then this.

Or whatever order you want to read them in.

Or don't read them at all.

Hillary Promises Florida And Michigan Delegates Will Be Seated

On the back of the bus:

Hillary Clinton compared her effort to seat Florida and Michigan delegates to epic American struggles, including those to free the slaves and win the right to vote for blacks and women.

The current stalemate over the two states' primary votes threatens to replicate the disputed 2000 presidential election in Florida, she warned an elderly crowd in Palm Beach County - one of the jurisdictions where Democrats allege voters were disenfranchised in 2000.

The pointed speech marked the kick-off of a last-gasp effort by Clinton to prolong her Democratic presidential campaign by making the states count, which would cut into rival Barack Obama's leads in popular votes and pledged delegates.

Clinton, at times sounding like a modern history professor, praised the abolitionists, suffragettes and civil rights pioneers and talked about her own efforts to fight legislative redistricting and voter identification initiatives that she said dilute minority voting power.

"This work to extend the franchise to all of our citizens is a core mission of the modern Democratic party," she said. "From signing the Voting Rights Act and fighting racial discrimination at the ballot box to lowering the voting age so those old enough to fight and die in war would have the right to choose their commander in chief, to fighting for multi-lingual ballots so you can make your voice heard no matter what language you speak."

Local Paper Reax On Sodomist T-shirts

The editor of the NWF Daily News wrote a great piece on Heather Gillman's victory:

No one should be surprised by a federal judge's ruling Tuesday that Holmes County school officials violated a Ponce de Leon High student's right to free speech when they told her she couldn't wear a t-shirt expressing support for gay teens.

As Judge Richard Smoak said of his ruling: "I find the core message here is of tolerance and fairness."

Student Heather Gillman sued the school board in October after officials prohibited her from wearing t-shirts she made supporting gay rights. She made the shirts after her 9th-grade cousin, who is openly gay, was suspended with nine other students for disruptions they caused at the school in September.

One student's parent also testified that school principal David Davis told her, "If there was a man in your house and you were going to church, you wouldn't be having these gay issues."

Scroll down for the comments and let the mouth breathing begin!!!:

A T-shirt that has a pro-gay message is free speech, a T-shirt that has an anti-gay message is hate speech. So we can assume that anything that’s politically correct would be acceptable. Anything the liberal idiots that run the schools don’t like is politically incorrect and would therefore be unacceptable.

While free speech and association are fine for other places and situations, a school is not one of those places.

only thing allowed on a shirt in school should be a collar and a pocket to avoid this

Well, then what would solve these problems? Allowing these kids to distract each other more and more will not help things. They need to learn to wait until college to make a big political stink.

A simple fix for this problem: Two words: School uniforms.