Whoa, There. You're Still Around?

Jesus, is it 9/11 already? Usually it's that certain date in the Fall when 9udy 11uliani pokes his head out of a bunker, forcasting whether we will have 6 more weeks of terror for the year.

The failed GOP presedential candidate appeared on Morning Joe to scare the shit out of anyone listening about President Unicorn's Ecard sent to Iran.

From HuffPo:

Rudy Giuliani charged on Wednesday that Barack Obama's recent outreach to Iran -- specifically, the videotape message he offered to the Iranian people several weeks ago -- was actually abetting terrorism in that region.

"Sending a videotape message into Iran and the language and tone of that message, in my view, is the kind of thing terrorists look at and say 'we can take advantage, we can push,'" said the former New York City mayor.

..."He didn't talk about any of the things we need from them," Guiliani went on. "He is talking to a dictatorship. He is not talking to a liberal democracy. If you listen to that, you would think he was talking to a liberal democracy."

...Nevertheless, Giuliani said on Wednesday, "I think it was a mistake. [Not a] complete misstep, I think it was a mistake. it needed balancing language about his recognition of the complete lack of freedom within Iran and even a strong message to the Iranian people... You have one chance to talk to the people of Iran. They are watching. You want to create a reformist element in Iran and you don't speak to that? ... This is why terrorist will say, we can take advantage of the guy.'"


We're really starting to regret not throwing a shoe at this twat when we had the chance.

Thanks, Dick

If you expected Darth Cheney to slowly roll away in to the shadows of private life, think again.

The Dark Lord took a break from hunting the rarest of game to sit down for an interview with Politico. It seems that Pres. Obama's policy of spooning with terrorists just isn't spooky enough:

When we get people who are more concerned about reading the rights to an Al Qaeda terrorist than they are with protecting the United States against people who are absolutely committed to do anything they can to kill Americans, then I worry,” Cheney said.

Protecting the country’s security is “a tough, mean, dirty, nasty business,” he said. “These are evil people. And we’re not going to win this fight by turning the other cheek.”

...he said he worried that “instead of sitting down and carefully evaluating the policies,” Obama officials are unwisely following “campaign rhetoric” and preparing to release terrorism suspects or afford them legal protections granted to more conventional defendants in crime cases.

The choice, he alleged, reflects a naive mindset among the new team in Washington: “The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected. Sometimes, that requires us to take actions that generate controversy. I’m not at all sure that that’s what the Obama administration believes.

While We Were Stuffing Our Faces...

Some bad shit happened:

Commandos who stormed the Mumbai headquarters of an ultra-orthodox Jewish group found the bodies of five hostages inside, including a New York rabbi and his wife, officials said, as a fresh battle raged at the luxury Taj Mahal hotel and other Indian forces ended a siege at another five-star hotel.

More than 150 people have been killed since gunmen attacked 10 sites across India's financial capital starting Wednesday night, including at least 14 foreigners.

Early Friday night, Indian commandos emerged from a besieged Jewish center with rifles raised in an apparent sign of victory after a daylong siege that saw a team rappel from helicopters and a series of explosions and fire rock the building and blow giant holes in the wall.

Inside, though, were five dead hostages.


Now every news outlet is beating the story over heads 24/7, with interviews from Indian citizens, family of people who live in Mumbai, people who have been to Mumbai or seen it on a map, and people who really dig Indian cuisine.

Barack Obama's Terrorist Acorn Family Tree

In our continuing coverage of "HOLY SHIT. PEOPLE ARE LIKE THIS", here's the latest from Ben Smith:

As the reality that Obama could become president sinks in, the ire directed at him is amping up, as in this striking video taken by a liberal Ohio blogger outside a McCain-Palin rally in Ohio.

...And while the vitriol may help, a bit, in rallying the base, it's also probably not something independent voters are going to find terribly attractive.

Sean Hannity Explodes

Barack Obama Is President Of Math

He may be a terrorist, but he's about to be your POTUS.

From RCP:

Election 2008 Obama McCain Spread
RCP National Average 49.6 44.1 Obama +5.5
Favorable Ratings +18.8 +11.1 Obama +7.7
Intrade Market Odds 69.4 29.6 -

Electoral College Obama McCain Spread
RCP Electoral Count 264 163 Obama +101
No Toss Up States 364 174 Obama +190

Battleground States Obama McCain Spread
Colorado 49.3 45.3 Obama +4.0
Ohio 48.9 44.9 Obama +4.0
Florida 48.3 45.3 Obama +3.0
Nevada 49.6 46.6 Obama +3.0
Missouri 47.8 47.5 Obama +0.3
Virginia 49.9 45.1 Obama +4.8

Government Warns Of Paultard Terrorists

From Wired:

The American military and intelligence communities are increasingly worried that would-be bin Ladens might gather in a virtual world, to plan a real-life attack. But the spies haven't given many details, about how it might be done. Now, a Pentagon researcher has laid out how such a terror plot might unfold. The planning ground is World of Warcraft. The main target of this possibly nuclear strike: the White House.

...In a presentation late last week at the Director of National Intelligence Open Source Conference in Washington, Dr. Dwight Toavs, a professor at the Pentagon-funded National Defense University, gave a bit of a primer on virtual worlds to an audience largely ignorant about what happens in these online spaces. Then he launched into a scenario, to demonstrate how a meatspace plot might be hidden by in-game chatter.

In it, two World of Warcraft players discuss a raid on the "White Keep" inside the "Stonetalon Mountains." The major objective is to set off a "Dragon Fire spell" inside, and make off with "110 Gold and 234 Silver" in treasure. "No one will dance there for a hundred years after this spell is cast," one player, "war_monger," crows.

Except, in this case, the White Keep is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. "Dragon Fire" is an unconventional weapon. And "110 Gold and 234 Silver" tells the plotters how to align the game's map with one of Washington, D.C.

Save Teh Goatz Needs Your Help More Than Ever

Another day, another decapitated goat.

From NWF Daily News:

Another decapitated goat was found early Saturday morning on Cristobal Road, across the street from the Mary Esther Library.

It is the fourth goat decapitated and left in a public place this year, and the seventh since September 2007.

Officials arrived at the intersection of Cristobal Road and Hollywood Avenue just before 7 a.m. and discovered the body of a male pygmy goat on the southeast side of Cristobal Road, said Michele Nicholson, public information officer for the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office.

She added that no blood was at the scene, leading officials to believe the animal was killed elsewhere and transported to the site.

...Thompson said those involved in the investigation have discovered a possible link between the killings and Palo Mayombe, a dark branch of the Afro-Cuban religion Santeria, whose rituals call for animal sacrifice.

"It's the closest thing that I've been able to find to what's been going on," she said. For example, separating the animal's head from its body is in line with the Palo Mayombe belief that the body is not sacred.

Why is Barack Obama's grandmother killing our goats with her black hoodoo?

Christians Defend Barack's Fake Christianismity

David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network has posted a story on their Jesusy series of tubes that refutes those emails about St. Barack being a Mooslim that my crazy racist aunt likes to send.........every day:

One of those “rumors” is that Obama was sworn in as Senator with the Koran. If you answered “True”, click here to see if you’re right.

Sorry. You’re wrong. As a matter of fact, The Brody File has visual proof of it. This picture comes courtesy of the Matthew 25 Network. The group has a page devoted on their website to combat the rumors. Click here for the picture of Obama being sworn in with Bible in hand and click here for the Matthew 25 false rumors page.

This of course will have no effect and we will keep getting those stupid forwards until our email accounts become sentient and throw the election to Generalissimo John McCunt on November 4.

9 Out Of 10 Terrorist Leaders Agree With Hopey

Barack's plan for Iraq got a thumbs up from someone who might know what the hell is going on over there..........Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki.

Josh Marshall reax:

I've spent a couple hours now trying to process the probable impact of Prime Minister al Maliki's explicit endorsement of Barack Obama's 16 month timetable for withdrawal of American troops from Iraq. My first instinct is always to try not to overstate the impact of momentary developments. But I don't think it's enough to say this is a huge development. It's huger than that. In a stroke, I think, al Maliki has cut McCain off at the knees in a way I'm not sure his campaign strategy can recover from.

...McCain has invested his entire campaign in support for the purportedly nascent Iraqi democracy al Maliki represents and the claim that Obama's support for a timetable for withdrawal irresponsibly risks losing the gains we've achieved and giving Iraq back to al Qaeda.

Here, with a brush of the hand and in so many words, al Maliki says, "No, we're good."

McCain responded, called everyone in the room a cunt, then complained about it being "too goddamned cold in here."

Funniest Billboard Since "Never Shake A Baby"

You'd think that the above billboard was paid for by the 9udy '08 campaign. Actually, the man behind the sign is just some redneck named Mike Meehan:

There are billboards up and down busy Orange Blossom Trail, but this at John Young Parkway (see map) one sticks out.

"Just looking at it, I'm not thinking about Democrat or Republican, I'm thinking about the twin towers and all the people killed," resident Mary Anderson told Eyewitness News.

The ad went up last week and is causing quite a reaction.

"Why use the twin towers for that purpose?" Anderson questioned.

The man behind the billboard is Mike Meehan, a St. Cloud businessman and musician. His website advertises a CD and music video titled "The Republican Song," with the chorus, "Don't vote for a Democrat." He's selling CDs for $5.

"This is a blatant exploitation of that terrible tragedy for political and, perhaps even worse, personal gain," said Bill Robinson, Orange County Democratic Party Chair.

And yes, we have the song. Enjoy:

Tiger Beat's Middle East Bureau Unveils Newest Centerfold

Meet Hamza bin Laden. He's OBL's 16yo son, and heir to the bin Laden Shitty Youtube Post Dynasty™.

Hamza (or H-dog as the kids call him) dropped his latest track with some funky fresh lines, such as:

“Accelerate the destruction of America, Britain, France and Denmark.”

...Oh God, reward the fighters hitting the infidels and defectors. Oh God, guide the youth of the Islamic nation and let them assist with the fighters’ plans.

“God, be pleased with those who want to go for jihad — and blind those who are watching and want to capture them.”

Two things are evident from this video:

1) This kid is a douchebag

2) Apparently, terrorist males do not have balls at the the age of 16, causing all of them to sound like Jordy.

via The Sun

Barack Obama: Soccer Mom

Above is some footage from a totally normal soccer game. A totally normal soccer game attended by the Sercret Service where you can't hear the kids over camera shutters OH MY GOD IT'S BARACK OBAMA AT HIS KID'S SOCCER GAME GRAB YOUR CAMERA AND TAKE ONE ZILLION PICTURES AND SEND THIS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Spoiler Alert: The terrorists win.


via Slate / du

Barack Obama Will Sacrifice Your Baby To His Mooslim Gods!!!

From TPM:

The conservative Family Research Council goes up on the air with a new spot using Obama's own recent speech about fatherhood to question his pro-choice views...

The spot, which is airing first in Cincinnatti, followed by Dallas and Atlanda, opens with a clip of Obama during his recent Father's Day speech saying: "We need fathers to recognize that responsibility doesn't just end at conception."

Chris Dodd Stole Your Subprime Trailer

Your life sucks.

Not only were you not invited to the elite Buildabear Workshopconference, but you aren't even a member of Countrywide's VIP program, are you?

Chris Dodd is, and people are mad because he got a good deal on his mortgage.

This is a story now.

Pay attention, because fatcats like Chris Dodd are the reason why gas is $4 a gallon and he probably peed on your pool, too.

Sen. Silverfox denies all of this:

“As a United States senator, I would never ask or expect to be treated differently than anyone else refinancing their home,” said Dodd, who as chairman of the Senate Banking Committee oversees the home loan industry. “This suggestion is outrageous and contrary to my entire career in public service.”

That of course is bullshit and it's a shame this will ruin his inevitability in the 2012 election.

Satanic Goaterrorist Strikes Again

brickbat, in solidifying our long proven allegience to the Save Teh Goatz project, brings you the latest in an ongoing story that involves headless goats and using rape kits on headless goats:

After more than four months, a fifth decapitated has been found.

This time, it appears as if the body and head might have been thrown from a moving vehicle. That caused the signature leaves and twigs placed in the goat’s mouth to become dislodged and partially scattered, said Dee Thompson-Poirrier, director of animal services with the Panhandle Animal Welfare Society.

The body and head of a black and white pygmy goat were discarded separately at the intersection of Memorial Parkway and Holmes Boulevard late Tuesday or early Wednesday. While it is strikingly similar to the other decapitated goats that have been found, Thompson-Poirrier said it appeared as if the head was almost surgically removed.

Investigators will send the goat off for a complete necropsy, including a toxicology screening and tests to see if the animal was sexually assaulted.

If you can track down the demonic goat fornicator, there's a $500 reeeeward in it fer ya.

via NWF Daily News

No Other Need Apply

Webb's GI bill passed. 75-22. Guess what elderly man had a senior moment and forgot the pyhsical location of where he worked?:

Three senators missed the vote: Tom Coburn was at a funeral, Ted Kennedy is dealing with his new diagnosis and McCain — who had spoken out against the bill for costing too much and creating a new bureaucracy -- was fundraising and campaigning in California.

B.A. Barackus saw an opportunity and took the floor:

I respect Sen. John McCain's service to our country. He is one of those heroes of which I speak. But I can't understand why he would line up behind the president in his opposition to this GI Bill.

I can't believe why he believes it is too generous to our veterans. I could not disagree with him and the president more on this issue. There are many issues that lend themselves to partisan posturing, but giving our veterans the chance to go to college should not be one of them.

WALNUTS! got really pissed and dictated a long diatribe about "the Kaiser" and not being able to use his wooden nickels at the penny arcade; all of which was written on papyrus:

It is typical, but no less offensive that Senator Obama uses the Senate floor to take cheap shots at an opponent and easy advantage of an issue he has less than zero understanding of.

...Both Senator Webb and I are united in our deep appreciation for the men and women who risk their lives so that the rest of us may be secure in our freedom. And I take a backseat to no one in my affection, respect and devotion to veterans. And I will not accept from Senator Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did.

..."Perhaps, if Senator Obama would take the time and trouble to understand this issue he would learn to debate an honest disagreement respectfully. But, as he always does, he prefers impugning the motives of his opponent, and exploiting a thoughtful difference of opinion to advance his own ambitions. If that is how he would behave as President, the country would regret his election."

Then Hopey was all like:

I am proud to stand with Sen. Webb and a bipartisan coalition to give our veterans the support and opportunity they deserve. It's disappointing that Sen. McCain and his campaign used this issue to launch yet another lengthy personal, political attack instead of debating an honest policy difference. He should know that this is not about John McCain or Barack Obama — it’s about giving our veterans a real chance to afford four years of college without harming retention. Sen. Webb’s bipartisan bill will do this, and the bill that John McCain supports would not. These endless diatribes and schoolyard taunts from the McCain campaign do nothing to advance the debate about what matters to the American people.


Moral of the story:

Barack Obama is a gay liberal terrorist who was too busy being an elitist fag to work for the most awesomest company ever.

John McCain loves America, always says the Pledge of Allegiance, and is not a black Mooslim terrorist.

Elderly Liberal Juan McCain Hearts Hamas More Than Hopey

From HuffPo:

Two years ago, in an interview with James Rubin for Sky News, Sen. John McCain expressed a willingness to negotiate with the terrorist group Hamas -- the very group that McCain has been relentlessly using to smear Sen. Barack Obama over the last several weeks.

More Attack Ad Fun

Barack Obama is a liberal black wizard that will use Hezbollah hoodoo to bleach Old Glory:

As Barack Obama visits Michigan today, the Kent County GOP is releasing this "ad" (a video, until I see details of the ad buy) that paints him as a white-flag-waiving elitist.

Tenn. GOP's Latest Attack Ad

This time, their target is St. Barack's wife.

SPOILER ALERT: She hates America.

My proudest moment as an American?

This.