Charlie Crist Hates Floridian Women (because he fucks men)

This Sunday's NY Times has an interview with known brunch enthusiast Charlie Crist.

Here's a sneak peek:

For this Sunday's New York Times Magazine, Deborah Solomon coyly sort of raises that issue at the very end.

Solomon kicks it off by stating, "Your personal life is not that of a typical Republican candidate. For starters, I hear you're"-- wait for it -- "not a property owner." Crist replies, "It is true. I do not own property."

Solomon then moves on to, "You were married nearly 30 years ago, but the marriage lasted less than a year. Do you prefer"-- wait for it -- "living alone?" Crist: "I got married and divorced because it didn't work out. I haven't found the right one since." Of course, the use of the word "one" will be parsed for days.

"You can't find one woman in all of Florida?" Solomon helpfully asks.

Crist: "Maybe I have. Stay tuned."

Scary Hilltard Hobbit Returns

Remember this thing?

Someone has trained this manimal to say a few more words.

Danny Noriega's Cry For Relevancy

Someone just please let him sing somewhere.

Danny's Back

And getting his own channel on the Youtubes:



via Towleroad

Mexican Emo Judgement Day 2008™

Thinking about wearing your sister's pants while on spring break in Acapulco? Think again.

Angry Messicans are flooding the streets looking for emo boy-kissers:

A bizarre wave of mob emo-bashings is sweeping across Mexico. The movement is being generated on message boards and social networking sites by non-emo youth who highly dislike like the emo look and attitude.

The spark came first in Queretaro on March 7. An estimated 800 young people poured into the city's Centro Historico hunting for emos to beat the crap out of. They found some. The next weekend it spread to Mexico City, where emos faced off against punks and rockabillies at the Glorieta de Insurgents, the epicenter of emo social space in the capital. There's also been reports of anti-emo violence in Durango, Colima, and elsewhere.



Now the emus are fighting back, presumably by throwing hair brushes or razors that were already lodged in their arms.

via Intersections

Weekend Roundup

Hillary Clinton was the one who sent your grandmother that spam email about St. Barack of Obama being a Mooslim.

Texas, Rhode Island, and Ohio called Barry Hussein at 3am, but he didn't answer. He was busy making the blind see, and maybe healing a few lepers.

John McCain: "Read my lips. No new HOA dues."

Pawpaw McCain thinks John Hagee is the heiress to a beer fortune.

Sen. Unicorn climbs Candy Brokeback Mountain.

Perez Hilton is a film buff.

American Idol and America hate America.

RIP

Danny left Idol.

Hopefully, he will have passed the flame.....er.....torch along to another finalist who will represent.

Sure, we've poked fun and given him shit. And yes, he did act like a persnickety bitch,

What's undeniable is Danny's to thine own self be true philosophy.

We dug it. We still dig it. And we hope this isn't the last we hear of Danny Noriega.

Shine bright.

:(

Flame Up

This whole Danny/David/everyoneonidolisgay thing is becoming quite the popular story:

Over the years, however, "Idol" has devoted plenty of screentime to participants' personal lives, ranging from asking intimate questions of the contestants (this week it's "What was your most embarrassing moment?") to aiming the camera at their sobbing significant others in the audience, to airing fully edited segments about their backgrounds.

"The show hasn't seemed very conducive or gay friendly to contestants coming out," says Michael Jensen, editor of AfterElton.com, a Web site about gay and bisexual men in entertainment and the media. "Simon and Randy have not hesitated to mock effeminate contestants and crack the occasional gay joke. It has not communicated to contestants that it would be a good place to come out."



...This week, a video of flamboyant current semifinalist Danny Noriega lashing out against Santa Claus appeared on MySpace and was posted on several blogs. Another video of Noriega singing Aretha Franklin's "Chain of Fools" and rapping about being gay — all while wearing a do-rag — was also posted on YouTube.

"Yeah, I'm gay," raps Noriega in the video. "But you eat hay for dinner, 'cause you look like a horse ... ."




via AP

A Very Special War on Xmas Message from Danny Noriega

Reflections on Idol

Danny Noriega proved once again that he is really gay.

Really really really gay. But, props. He just doesn't care. And we dig that.



Little perfect gummy bear David Archuleta sucked the air out of the room with Another Day in Paradise.



Jason Castro was brilliant and the highlight of the night.



Oh yeh, we take back our stripper endorsement. Unless he actually strips on the show, in which we re-endorse said stripper based on the fact that............there would be a stripper stripping on the teevees.

teh Huckabeez Raptured to Arkansas

Out of all the losers in this election cycle, my heart is heaviest in dealing with the exit of Mike Huckabee :(



Oh, Huck. Baseball, Apostle Paul, truck drivers, selling wedding rings on ebay, and finally endorsing Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™.

I'm gonna miss Subway dude. Who will save us from roving gangs of AIDS dogs? Or teach us how to have a healthy diet? What will happen to Chuck Norris? How much does Baby Jeebus now hate elderly Juan McCain???

These are the questions I want answered.

Rumors are swirling about a possible television show. I'm not really sold on that idea.

I'd rather see the enitire Huckabee family travelling around the country as a Christian folk band. Or maybe even a television ministry on CBN.

I'm started to get choked up, so let's just end it at this.

Today's Hilltard Video

Set to Thundercunt's official "New Hispanic Theme Song"

Wisconsin, Washington, and Hawaii

150 delegates are up for grabs today.

94 for Thundercunt and Barry Hussein to fight over.

56 for Juan McCain to clinch the GOP nom and start handing out free abortions for gay Messicans.

Check later this evening for results.

via CNN