Russia Hates Cutters

The happiest place on Earth is sick and tired of those emo assholes killing their buzz, so they want to outlaw tight jeans and shirts for toddlers:

Legislation is currenting being formulated in Russia to heavily regulate emo websites and ban emo and goth dress style in schools and government buildings.

The new laws are apparently being driven by fears that these "dangerous teen trends" encourage depression and suicide.

The legislation was presented last month at a hearing held by the State Durma, where critics claimed that the "negative" emo culture encourages anti-social behaviour and glorifies suicide.

Emo kids were described as teenagers who wear black, have facial piercings and black hair with fringes that "cover half the face", reports The Guardian.

Weekend Roundup

James Brian Sliter's dreams of being mayor of Touchytown, Texas came and went.

Now that Fred Thompson has stopped pretending to be POTUS, he can start pretending to be a country lawyer/DA/general. Again.

Bosnian war veteran Hillary Clinton mispoke. And then mispoke again.

What she won't mispeak about is her imaginary crazy pastor.

We should all be in Mexico for Spring Break. Looks like fun.

St. Barack is ninth cousins to Eva Braun.

Mittens is arranging many space wives for the elderly Juan McCain. Hopefully ones that don't like Vicodin.

Someone please let Cankles McGee be President of the Senate Birtday Party Planning Committee or something.

Please don't interrupt President of the Earth Gore while he masturbates to the Discovery Channel.

Please don't interrupt Millboy until he reaches 100 brush strokes.

WALNUTS! is the American President for Americans who love America and all American things.

Nigel Powers was on to something.

Mexican Emo Judgement Day 2008™

Thinking about wearing your sister's pants while on spring break in Acapulco? Think again.

Angry Messicans are flooding the streets looking for emo boy-kissers:

A bizarre wave of mob emo-bashings is sweeping across Mexico. The movement is being generated on message boards and social networking sites by non-emo youth who highly dislike like the emo look and attitude.

The spark came first in Queretaro on March 7. An estimated 800 young people poured into the city's Centro Historico hunting for emos to beat the crap out of. They found some. The next weekend it spread to Mexico City, where emos faced off against punks and rockabillies at the Glorieta de Insurgents, the epicenter of emo social space in the capital. There's also been reports of anti-emo violence in Durango, Colima, and elsewhere.



Now the emus are fighting back, presumably by throwing hair brushes or razors that were already lodged in their arms.

via Intersections