Senator Unicorn, You're No Jonas Brothers

It may be Barack's party, but his daughters really could care less......like most of us are starting to do.

After Michelle spoke Monday, she told Malia and Sasha there was a surprise waiting for them. But not the one they wanted:

When Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, took the stage at the Democratic National Convention in Denver on Monday night after their mom Michelle's speech, they had no idea their dad was going to be beamed in live via satellite. When Mrs. Obama told the girls she had a surprise for them, the potential first lady was pretty surprised at the response, according to CNN.

"Is it the Jonas Brothers?" Malia asked.

The girls were pretty upset when they found out they would have to be in Denver during the same weekend Kevin, Nick and Joe would be in their hometown of Chicago — the girls' love for the Jonas boys is well-documented. The senator spent his birthday lounging around and drinking beer while his daughters danced around to the superstars' music on their iPods. And while he finds their music "wholesome enough," he doesn't entirely get it.

"Who are these guys?" he recalled asking his daughters while visiting "Kidd Kraddick in the Morning" last February. "And how many pictures of them do you need on your wall?"

As many as it takes, Barry.

Russia Hates Cutters

The happiest place on Earth is sick and tired of those emo assholes killing their buzz, so they want to outlaw tight jeans and shirts for toddlers:

Legislation is currenting being formulated in Russia to heavily regulate emo websites and ban emo and goth dress style in schools and government buildings.

The new laws are apparently being driven by fears that these "dangerous teen trends" encourage depression and suicide.

The legislation was presented last month at a hearing held by the State Durma, where critics claimed that the "negative" emo culture encourages anti-social behaviour and glorifies suicide.

Emo kids were described as teenagers who wear black, have facial piercings and black hair with fringes that "cover half the face", reports The Guardian.