Today's Obligatory Lambo Cockrissian Update

Where to begin....where to begin.....OH!

This terrifying Adam Lambert shower curtain that some lonely cutter is selling on eBay:

Unique! Original! Handpainted with a brush just like a piece of art! Hang it in your shower, on your wall, in a window, behind your bed as a headboard, or frame it and display it just like any art portrait in your home!


My instincts tell me this will be used as an actual shower curtain, bought by some fancy tween boy......and turned inside out. Just a guess.

Next up: Lambo went on a date...with a girl. Atleast that's what one site called it. Joe's Place is really not to be believed on anything, unless they have video of it where you can view it with your own eyes......and even then, don't believe.

The failed film and art students-turned-paparazzi at TMZ stalked Lambo on a "date" with a female and flipped out. Listen for the awkward exchange at the end when the razzi asks Lambo if he'll totally flame out and shoot glitter from his anus after he becomes the first....you know...Idol winner...that....um...




Back to last week, when the internets rages with conspiracies of Lambo's bottom (heh) 3 debut. AI's executive producer Nigel Lythgoe confirmed that, yes, the comely Dandy Prince of Angst did get that few votes:

”SET those conspiracy theories aside — “American Idol” wasn’t trying to fake you out with Wednesday night’s Bottom 3 results.

But Adam may not have been one of the Bottom 2, says the show’s former producer.

“They wouldn’t lie about it; they’re always honest with you,” says Nigel Lythgoe, previously the executive producer for the first seven seasons of “Idol” and currently the executive producer and a judge on “So You Think You Can Dance.”

That being said, it doesn’t mean the show won’t take some liberty with the order that the other two low-vote receiving contestants are told to sit down, he says.

After the votes are collected and tabulated by AT&T and the show’s survey firm, Telescope, “all we’re told at the end of the day is, ‘Here are the Bottom 3,’ ” he says. “And we make whatever we can out of that and turn it into a show.”

...Since “Idol” never specifically states who the second- and third-lowest vote getters are, any conclusions that the audience draws from the order that they’re sent to the safe stand is purely “up to the public at home.”


Atleast Lambo has one fan in high places: Pink Mafia board member Anderson Cooper...

Lambo Lands In Bottom 2; Internets Outraged

Add Glitter to Pictures



Tween girls (and fancy tween boys) realeased a collective and traumatic squeal about 8:40 EST last night when our fair Lambo Cockrissian was put in the bottom 2.

Truly, the terrorists are winning.

Here's a decent summary from Idolator:

More surprising to observers, though, was the appearance of longtime frontrunner Adam Lambert in the bottom three, alongside Giraud and Kris Allen. Was this the result of shenanigans by the producers–who want people to keep watching, even despite the widespread assumption that Lambert’s going to win this thing–or was it the first piece of evidence that a wide swath of America isn’t really into the whole Scissor Sisters/Muse/Adam Lambert axis of rock, despite poor old Randy Jackson’s claims to the contrary?


Keep in mind that last year’s winner operating in the “covers of other peoples’ covers” paradigm was actually using as his touchstone a genre of music–crummy radio mook rock–that, while being objectionable for a host of completely valid reasons, does relatively well, especially when compared to the glammy and fabulous bands that Lambert has chosen to emulate on the Idol stage. Sure, his fanbase is pretty devoted to him and he normally has amazing energy on the stage (save Tuesday’s oddly inert performance), but as other contestants drop off and their former fanbases find new horses to back, that may not be enough.


As much as it pains me, go to this site and read some of the comments, of which are full of conspiracy theories.

It's just a show, folks.

BREAKING NEWS: Group Lamer Than Cutters Exists!!!

Teenage girls that embed foreign objects in their skin:

Those unfortunate souls who find cutting insufficiently harmful have taken mutilation to the next level with something doctors call "self-embedding disorder." According to the Chicago Tribune, embedding is when people deliberately insert objects into their flesh, either by forcing them through wounds or by puncturing the flesh with those objects.

"Personnel at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, report extracting 52 foreign objects that 10 teenage girls deliberately embedded in their arms, hands, feet, ankles and necks over the last three years, including needles, staples, wood, stone, glass, pencil lead and a crayon. One patient had inserted 11 objects, including an unfolded metal paper clip more than 6 inches long."

via Jezebel

Senator Unicorn, You're No Jonas Brothers

It may be Barack's party, but his daughters really could care less......like most of us are starting to do.

After Michelle spoke Monday, she told Malia and Sasha there was a surprise waiting for them. But not the one they wanted:

When Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, took the stage at the Democratic National Convention in Denver on Monday night after their mom Michelle's speech, they had no idea their dad was going to be beamed in live via satellite. When Mrs. Obama told the girls she had a surprise for them, the potential first lady was pretty surprised at the response, according to CNN.

"Is it the Jonas Brothers?" Malia asked.

The girls were pretty upset when they found out they would have to be in Denver during the same weekend Kevin, Nick and Joe would be in their hometown of Chicago — the girls' love for the Jonas boys is well-documented. The senator spent his birthday lounging around and drinking beer while his daughters danced around to the superstars' music on their iPods. And while he finds their music "wholesome enough," he doesn't entirely get it.

"Who are these guys?" he recalled asking his daughters while visiting "Kidd Kraddick in the Morning" last February. "And how many pictures of them do you need on your wall?"

As many as it takes, Barry.

Juan McCain Dumping Cindy McVicodin For Tween Whore

Realizing you can have a rich wife who is hot and young, Pawpaw called Miley Cyrus to see if she would be interested in being his caretaker.

Gross.