Palin's Proven Credentials As GOP Sexual Deviant

Sure, Sarah brags about her fiscal acumen when she was Ice Princess/Ice Queen of lower Canada, but Salon has a great piece on how she spent $50k renovating her office in Wasilla to look like a fucking whorehouse:

Sarah Palin has been touting herself as fiscal watchdog throughout her political career. But Palin's tenure as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, was characterized by waste, cronyism and incompetence, according to government officials in the Matanuska Valley, where she began her fairy-tale political rise.

"Executive abilities? She doesn't have any," said former Wasilla City Council member Nick Carney, who selected and groomed Palin for her first political race in 1992 and served with her after her election to the City Council.

Four years later, the ambitious Palin won the Wasilla mayor's office -- after scorching the "tax and spend mentality" of her incumbent opponent. But Carney, Palin's estranged former mentor, and others in city hall were astounded when they found out about a lavish expenditure of Palin's own after her 1996 election. According to Carney, the newly elected mayor spent more than $50,000 in city funds to redecorate her office, without the council's authorization.

"I thought it was an outrageous expense, especially for someone who had run as a budget cutter," said Carney. "It was also illegal, because Sarah had not received the council's approval."

According to Carney, Palin's office makeover included flocked, red wallpaper. "It looked like a bordello."

WALNUTS! Calls Barry Dumb Blond Whore

We were hoping for cunt.

Ted Haggard Won't Blow You Anymore, So Stop Asking

Pastor Methy McFeltcher, also known as Ted Haggard, has graduated from Hetero University!!! He's moved back to his old house with his wife, totally fucking her every day while an approving Jesus videotapes and uploads to Godtube.

From AP:


The evangelist forced out of his job after being caught up in a sex scandal involving a male prostitute has left a "spiritual restoration program" and no longer has any ties to the megachurch he founded, the congregation's new pastor said Sunday.

Under a severance deal that Ted Haggard reached with the church in 2006, he agreed to leave Colorado Springs and not talk about the scandal publicly. The deal expired at the end of 2007. New pastor Brady Boyd said Haggard was now free to live where he wanted and has returned to Colorado Springs.

"They have moved back and they live in the original house that they lived in for many years," Boyd said of Haggard and his wife, Gayle.

Haggard answered the telephone at his Colorado Springs telephone number on Sunday and confirmed he was in the city but said he couldn't talk to reporters.

He was fired in 2006 as pastor of the 14,000-member church he established, after a former male prostitute alleged they had a cash-for-sex relationship. The man also said he saw Haggard use methamphetamine.

Haggard, who also stepped down as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, confessed to undisclosed "sexual immorality" and said he bought meth but didn't use it.

Haggard then moved to Phoenix with his family to begin what church leaders called a spiritual restoration program, which was expected to include counseling and prayer and last five years or longer. Boyd said Haggard asked to released from the restoration program in January and is no longer connected with New Life.

Haggard and church officials clashed last summer after Haggard sent an e-mail to a Colorado Springs television station outlining his plans to work as a counselor at a Christian-run halfway house in Phoenix. The e-mail also solicited financial support.

A four-pastor team of overseers said that those plans were unacceptable and that Haggard would seek secular employment instead.

Boyd said Haggard was in private business but didn't have any further details. He said there were no plans for him to work again at New Life.

What A World

No charges for the married whoremonger NY Governor who paid to have sex with alot of whores.

Possibly 25 years for the lady who answered phones to send whores to whoremongers, such as said governor.

via Reuters

DC Madam Predicted She Would Be Suicided

From Prison Planet:

DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey predicted she would be "suicided" on several occasions both recently and as far back as 17 years ago - comments that now appear ominous in light of the announcement that the former head of a Washington escort service allegedly killed herself today.

"If taken into custody, my physical safety and most probably my very life would be jeopardized," she wrote in August 1991 following an attempt to bring her to trial, "Rape, beating, maiming, disfigurement and more than likely murder disguised in the form of just another jailhouse accident or suicide would await me," said Palfrey in a handwritten letter to the judge accusing the San Diego police vice squad of having a vendetta against her.

During several recent appearances on The Alex Jones Show, Palfrey also said that she was at risk of being killed and that authorities would make it look like suicide. She made it clear that she was not suicidal and if she was found dead it would be murder.

Palfrey had threatened to release the names of well-known clients of her upscale call girl ring in the nation's capitol, and had indicated that Dick Cheney may be one of them.

"We now know it goes at least as high as a United States Senator," Palfrey told The Alex Jones Show, "I'm hearing rumors now from other people that there are other possibilities in that stratosphere so to speak, on that level."

"No I'm not planning to commit suicide," Palfrey told The Alex Jones Show on her last appearance in March, "I'm planning on going into court and defending myself vigorously and exposing the government," she said.

Palfrey Remembered

From Wonkette:

For the great crime of hooking up willing ladies with horny politicians, "D.C. Madam" Deborah Jeane Paltry was facing four to six years in prison, and today she was found dead in a shed behind her mother's house in Florida. The men who paid for hookers through her service, such as Republican Senator David Vitter, have paid no price for their crimes, and they remain in power as the very people who make up the laws. Anyway, good-bye, Deborah Jeane. Though we didn't know you at all, you had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled. They crawled out of the woodwork, and they whispered into your brain. They set you on the treadmill and then Dick Cheney had you killed. But Wonkette just sent your name to this moon spaceship, Deborah. Enjoy the ride to a better place!

DC Madam Found Dead

From MyFox Orlando:

Police were called to the home of DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey's mother on Thursday to investigate her apparent suicide. Police have confirmed that the dead person is Palfrey who was 52.

Palfrey was dubbed "The DC Madam" by the national media after her arrest for allegedly running an upscale call girl ring in the nation's capitol.

She was convicted on Tuesday of money laundering, using the mail for illegal purposes and racketeering, but she had not yet been sentenced.

There has been much speculation in the media about who was on Palfrey's client list, but few details came out during the trial.

Randall L. Tobias resigned as a deputy secretary of state after acknowledging to ABC News that he used Palfrey's service for massages.

Palfrey had an interesting list of clients, including the diaper wearing David Vitter and possibly the one and only Darth Cheney.

Juan McCain Dumping Cindy McVicodin For Tween Whore

Realizing you can have a rich wife who is hot and young, Pawpaw called Miley Cyrus to see if she would be interested in being his caretaker.

Gross.

Another Day, Another Diamond Whore

Yet another whore has come forward with details about her sexy time playdates with Eliot Spitzerswallows.

Seems Spitzer likes to keep his socks on during sex. She also says the NY whoremonger was fond of using sex toys to "enhance his own pleasure", which is just a fancy way of saying she got paid to stick things in his butt:

It's unclear whether the second woman was associated with Emperors Club VIP - the brothel that dispatched Dupre to entertain Spitzer in Washington, DC...


The second hooker-informant also told investigators Spitzer was fond of using sex toys to enhance his own pleasure, the sources said.

"The full portrait of Mr. Spitzer's sexual interests has yet to be told," one source said.

Spitzer's spokeswoman, Anna Cordasco, had no immediate comment.

The feds found the second hooker in the course of reviewing records, following the money and checking out the mountain of tips in the case.

She expanded on the portrait of Spitzer's sexual fetishes in graphic detail, the sources said, also divulging that he had a penchant for props.

Sources said the second hooker also noted that Spitzer liked to keep his socks on during sex - a claim previously made by Republican political operative Roger Stone.

via HuffPo

Some Lady Suspended From Some Radio Station Noone Listens To

Here is a video of Randi Rhodes, who hosts a show on Air America. She's been suspended for calling Thundercunt and the original Thundercunt "fucking whores."

We've never heard of Randi before, but now that we have, we like her a whole lot. Even if she is a shitty comedian.

And probably a shitty talk-show host.

UPDATE:

I stand corrected. Thanks to faithful brickbat reader Bazz (if indeed that is his real name) I no longer blindly assume Randi is a shitty talk-show host. I for one welcome our new talk-show host skirt overlord:



Anyone who makes fun of Idaho Bathroom Goblin Larry Craig is a friend of mine.

Whore Diamonds Explained By 3yo

SuperDeluxe delivers on our favorite whoremonger story:

It's hard to explain sex scandals to kids, but thank God this isn't like 1994 and we have to start explaining blow jobs and thongs all over again. A young girl in a princess dress explains to SuperDeluxe her understanding of the matter, adding, "everybody at school is talking about it" and that they replaced Eliot with a blind man.



via Gawker

Planned Parenthood Satanists Encourage Spring Break Immorality

This is the time of year when nice young ladies and gentlemen flock to Panama Shitty to help feed the homeless and hold beachside bible studies. The fine Christian tradition known Spring Break is now under assault by the baby-eating pagans at Planned Parenthood:

College-age members of Planned Parenthood were not shy last week as they handed out free condoms and showed spring breakers how to use them.

The students combed beaches, worked clubs and bars encouraging their counterparts to practice safe sex. On a recent outing, as earsplitting music played in the background, Natalie Muniz, the education director of Planned Parenthood of North Central Florida, demonstrated the correct way to open a condom package — look for the air bubble and don’t use your teeth — and what condom users should immediately look for, the expiration date.

...The brand of condom Muniz and her University of Florida students were offering is called “Proper Attire.” The new brand is designed to appeal to women as a fashion accessory, Muniz said. The brand uses the tag line “Required for entry.”

“We don’t think guys should have all the fun,” said Becca Guerra, a student and a member of Planned Parenthood. “We should be in charge of our own sexual health.”

Jesus. Couldn't they have atleast handed out brand name condoms? The last thing I want between me and a host of STD's is Uncle Roscoe's Discount Dickbags™.

Here, let that kid from Malcolm in the Middle explain:



via Panama Shitty News Herald

Oldie But Goodie Sex Scandal

Spitzer jokes? That was sooooooo last week.

New Jersey is getting jealous of all the attention given to New York and their whoremongering former governor. They want to remind us that not only was their disgraced former governor gay, but his wife (who cliamed feigned shock of the gayness) was actually a participant in several three-ways with Jim McGreevey and one of his gay homosexual aides:

A former aide to James E. McGreevey said today that he had three-way sexual trysts with the former governor and his wife before he took office, challenging Dina Matos McGreevey's assertion that she was naive about her husband's sexual exploits.

The aide, Theodore Pedersen, said he and the couple even had a nickname for the weekly romps, from 1999 to 2001, that typically began with dinner at T.G.I. Friday's and ended with a threesome at McGreevey's condo in Woodbridge.

They called them "Friday Night Specials," according to Pedersen.

..."I wanted to get this out now because it was so offensive to me that she goes on television playing the victim," Pedersen said. "She's trying to make this a payday for herself. She should have told the truth about the three of us."

So, take THAT New York.

Teddy gets 10 whore diamonds.












via The Star-Ledger

Weekend Roundup

Hillary staffers need LifeLock.

Jesus can make the blind see, but Eliot Spitzer can make the blind Governor of New York.

Sen. Unicorn wins another state.

That above doesn't matter. Hillary is President of white people.

Sen. Thundercunt can take her job and shove it.

Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern loves America enough to warn us of gay terrorist infants, but hates America enough to bear one of her own. Does this make her Canadian?

My write-in candidate for November.

Baby Jeebus Christian/Mooslim/Space Christian Electoral SMACKDOWN! 2008™

By September of this year, the RNC will be putting out snuff films as campaign ads.

St. Barack of Obama is now a Christian, but only so the right can freak out about his crazy former pastor.

He answered.

John Edwards has forgotten about mills.

Meet Pawpaw's Spiritual Guide

If you liked John Hagee, you're gonna luuuuuuuuuuuv Rod Parsley.

The Rod of God, a televangelist from Ohio, is John McCain's spiritual adviser. I guess that means that Rod's the guy who burns sage in a pentagram drawn around WALNUTS! while bathing him in the blood of young children so he can live another 1000 years.

Parsley has called on Christians to wage a war against Mooslims:

The leader of a 12,000-member congregation, Parsley has written several books outlining his fundamentalist religious outlook, including the 2005 Silent No More. In this work, Parsley decries the "spiritual desperation" of the United States, and he blasts away at the usual suspects: activist judges, civil libertarians who advocate the separation of church and state, the homosexual "culture" ("homosexuals are anything but happy and carefree"), the "abortion industry," and the crass and profane entertainment industry. And Parsley targets another profound threat to the United States: the religion of Islam.

In a chapter titled "Islam: The Deception of Allah," Parsley warns there is a "war between Islam and Christian civilization." He continues:

I cannot tell you how important it is that we understand the true nature of Islam, that we see it for what it really is. In fact, I will tell you this: I do not believe our country can truly fulfill its divine purpose until we understand our historical conflict with Islam. I know that this statement sounds extreme, but I do not shrink from its implications. The fact is that America was founded, in part, with the intention of seeing this false religion destroyed, and I believe September 11, 2001, was a generational call to arms that we can no longer ignore.

Awsome! Who doesn't love a good crusade? I'm in, just as long as I get to ride that talking lion.

Let's not get our hopes up quite yet. I'm sure he'll be smoking meth and fucking gay prostitutes in no time. Seems to be the pattern.


via Mother Jones

Today's Godtube Moment

Hookers for Jesus.

Yup, you read that right.

Hooray for all whores, Baby Jeebus, sparkly Jeebus fish shirts, and whore diamonds!!!

Spitzer Resigns

Page Six has released a picture of Kristin, Spitzorswallows' $4300/hr BFF:



via Page Six

Very Boring Scandal Ends With Some Lady Getting Fired

Yesterday, Fort Walton Beach Finance Director Lisa Absher was fired by a 4-3 City Council vote.

She was accused of being a bitch to City Manager Joyce Shanahan and other folks in the finance office. You can read the catty emails here.

I would have paid more attention to the story had it been the least bit entertaining.

But it didn't involve whores, whore diamonds, terrorist hats, creepy gnomes, or black babies.

All we got was this:




Note to City Council: Try mud wrestling next time.

This story gets one whore diamond.




via NWF Daily News

NEWS ALERT!!!

Whoremonger Eliot Spitzer is set to make an announcement in about 15 mins, most likely to say he will resign.

Right now all the teevees are showing helicopters following his motorcade like it's fucking OJ all over again.

Personally, I don't want to hear an apology. I want to know why anyone in their right mind would pay $80,000 to fuck whores when you can fuck your wife for free. Especially when she looks like this:



This cougar gets 6 whore diamonds.








Eliot, you're a dumb dumb man.

Beating A Dead Whorse

As mentioned earlier, NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer is in big trouble because he loves whores. He was "Client 9" of some sexy time business called The Emperor's Club. They rent out nice young harlot lady whores like this whore, Maya:


(She has a six diamond rating, which means her rates are $21,000 for a day (dawn to dawn) or $2100 an hour. This also means she's a whore.)

Here's some whore more from the NY Times:

Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who gained national prominence relentlessly pursuing Wall Street wrongdoing, has been caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month, according to a law enforcement official and a person briefed on the investigation.

The wiretap captured a man identified as Client 9 on a telephone call confirming plans to have a woman travel from New York to Washington, where he had reserved a hotel room, according to an affidavit filed in federal court in Manhattan. The person briefed on the case and the law enforcement official identified Mr. Spitzer as Client 9.

...The man described as Client 9 in the affidavit arranged to meet with a prostitute who was part of the ring, Emperors Club VIP, on the night of Feb. 13. Mr. Spitzer traveled to Washington that evening, according to a person told of his travel arrangements.

The affidavit says that Client 9 met with the woman in hotel room 871 but does not identify the hotel. Mr. Spitzer stayed at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington on Feb. 13, according to a source who was told of his travel arrangements. Room 871 at the Mayflower Hotel that evening was registered under the name George Fox.

Yeas and Nays has pictures of room 871:



Anywho, Client 9 spent $4300 for several hours with a whore named Kristin, who is obviously a nasty slut compared to the 6 whore diamoned Maya.

Oh yeh, this happened on Valantine's Day.

More on this later. It's the story that keeps on giving, so we'll save some cheap jokes for future threads.

via NY Times / HuffPo / Yeas and Nays / The Smoking Gun / Wonkette