Just Go On Fucking Springer Already

Hunky snowbilly Levi Johnston appeared on the Tyra Banks Show to talk about the worst mistake in his life knocking up Bristol Palin. Levi, dressed as a Walmart greeter, claimed Bible Spice knew he was boning her daughter and swore he was using protection when he stuck his hose in her somewhat famous septic tank.

For your sake, Levi, we hope you did.

As expected, the Alaskan Snowcunt was enraged and fired off an angry statement from the Governors' mansion, which is a collection of interconnected trailers with a couple of igloos for turrets:

After taking about sex on The Tyra Banks Show, Johnston – the 18-year-old father of Bristol Palin's baby – was hit with a blistering response from Bristol's mother, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

"Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," says the statement from the Palin family rep.

"Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence," the statement continues. "It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child."

The statement ends, saying, "Bristol realizes now that she made a mistake in her relationship and is the one taking responsibility for their actions."



Whatever, skank.

Anywho...about the same time Bible Spice is being all judgemental and shit, her sister-in-law, Diana Palin, was arrested for robbing some guy's house multiple times WHILE BRINGING HER 4YO DAUGHTER ALONG FOR THE FUNNERY.

Kids, these are the dangers of living in Alaska.....and meth.

From NYDN:

Citing an affidavit filed Friday, the Alaskan newspaper reported that Diana Palin (half sister to Sarah Palin's husband, Todd) was caught by the homeowner, Theodore Turcott, who was hiding in his bathroom with a gun. He found Palin going straight to a bedroom cabinet where he had kept his cash in the past.

Turcott has been robbed several times in the last few weeks. He lost $2,200 in a robbery on March 26, and nearly $400 on March 31.

Palin's four-year-old daughter, who had been waiting in a 1993 Toyota Camery during the Thursday incident, entered the house shortly before police arrived as the scene, the prosecutor stated during a hearing on Friday. The affidavit read that the girl told police she had been to the house days before with her mother. Diana Palin denied this, the Daily News said, and claimed she mistook the house for a friend's place.

According to the Daily News, Diana Palin was hit with felony burglary charges, along with misdemeanor theft and criminal trespass, regarding the March 31 and April 2 incidents.

Governor Palin and her family have declined to comment on the matter.


Further info here.

Today's Hilltard Video

Oh, those silly gays. They just can't quit Thundercunt.

Unless B.A. Barackus accepts his party's nomination with Hillary's head on a pike attached the dias, Hilltards will never surrender.

Ted Haggard Won't Blow You Anymore, So Stop Asking

Pastor Methy McFeltcher, also known as Ted Haggard, has graduated from Hetero University!!! He's moved back to his old house with his wife, totally fucking her every day while an approving Jesus videotapes and uploads to Godtube.

From AP:


The evangelist forced out of his job after being caught up in a sex scandal involving a male prostitute has left a "spiritual restoration program" and no longer has any ties to the megachurch he founded, the congregation's new pastor said Sunday.

Under a severance deal that Ted Haggard reached with the church in 2006, he agreed to leave Colorado Springs and not talk about the scandal publicly. The deal expired at the end of 2007. New pastor Brady Boyd said Haggard was now free to live where he wanted and has returned to Colorado Springs.

"They have moved back and they live in the original house that they lived in for many years," Boyd said of Haggard and his wife, Gayle.

Haggard answered the telephone at his Colorado Springs telephone number on Sunday and confirmed he was in the city but said he couldn't talk to reporters.

He was fired in 2006 as pastor of the 14,000-member church he established, after a former male prostitute alleged they had a cash-for-sex relationship. The man also said he saw Haggard use methamphetamine.

Haggard, who also stepped down as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, confessed to undisclosed "sexual immorality" and said he bought meth but didn't use it.

Haggard then moved to Phoenix with his family to begin what church leaders called a spiritual restoration program, which was expected to include counseling and prayer and last five years or longer. Boyd said Haggard asked to released from the restoration program in January and is no longer connected with New Life.

Haggard and church officials clashed last summer after Haggard sent an e-mail to a Colorado Springs television station outlining his plans to work as a counselor at a Christian-run halfway house in Phoenix. The e-mail also solicited financial support.

A four-pastor team of overseers said that those plans were unacceptable and that Haggard would seek secular employment instead.

Boyd said Haggard was in private business but didn't have any further details. He said there were no plans for him to work again at New Life.

Scariest Site On The Intertubes

Besides Ron Paul Forum.

Montana Meth Project will sketch you the fuck out:

The Project's print advertising, featured in high school newspapers and on billboards across Montana, reveal the severe physical and psychological impacts associated with Meth use. Our newest campaign shows the devastating impact Meth has on the friends and family of Meth users.

Creepy.

UPDATE:

They're on the Youtubes.

And I stopped eating my pizza.

Truckers March Drive On Washington

Here's a video of yesterday's trucker protest in Washington. They're pretty pissed that gas costs about $1200 a gallon.

They're organizing a trucking shutdown on May 5, which has nothing to do with gas and everything to do with running out of meth because of the high cost of gas.

via BraveNewFilms

HuffPo Hates The British

And CNN:

Mr. Quest was arrested early Friday morning after being escorted out of Central Park for violating the park curfew, a law enforcement official said Friday. The park is closed from 1 a.m. to 6 a.m.

The police noticed Mr. Quest at 64th Street and West Drive at about 3:40 a.m., the official said. As he was being escorted out, he volunteered, "I have meth in my pocket," according to an official briefed on the case. The police searched him and recovered a small amount of methamphetamine in a Ziploc bag.


Not sure who Richard Quest is? Check this video out below:



They went on to add that Quest also uses the Bible as a toilet and rapes babies.

via HuffPo