It's Hard Out There For A Hater

We were totally going to breeze over the above ad released by the National Organization for Marriage because other sites had already covered it. But this is just too rich.

The Washington City Paper has audition tapes, dug up by the HRC, showing that mouth breathers really do have problems sounded out the King's english. Let the hilarity ensue:

Someone Send This Fucktard To CPAC's Green Room

From Fey:

It's funny that Tyra Banks seems to think the concept of gay self-hatred is somehow shocking, fresh ground to cover, but in a "everything old is new again" way she's kind of right. This "I Hate Being Gay" episode of her show is the best, loliest thing I've seen since Bobby Jindal's response to Obama's address last night.

Even though we have similar feelings about the ickiness of both male and female anatomy and even though we both think our genitals are prettier than anybody else's (cuz of their, you know, "beautiful shape?") and even though we share a desire to be straight and lead heteronormative lives with ladies and houses and pets--although I had to get an extension on my previous "straight by 30" deadline--there is still something I don't like about this Shane character.

I think it's the hair.

What A World

No charges for the married whoremonger NY Governor who paid to have sex with alot of whores.

Possibly 25 years for the lady who answered phones to send whores to whoremongers, such as said governor.

via Reuters

"Yeh, About That Fat Chick....STFU!!!"

When not saving America from 9/11, Chelsea Clinton enjoys bringing the smackdown on college kids who ask questions about the time her dad had the decency to bone that nice Jewish girl. Something Barry Hussein would know nothing about.

Weekend Roundup

Some guy named Ralph Nader says he swears you know him.

Hillary Clinton hates children.

The world's largest growhouse is open.

Judy Whitis invites you to go to her church this Sunday.

Larry Craig has an opening.

Rep. Don Brown hates black people but loves MLK.

Theodore Roosevelt hates Juan McCain.

Walton County Commission Hates 911

The Walton County Sheriff had a simple request: Give me $311,431 for 911 equipment.

The freedom haters on the county commission denied the request unanimously. Why?

Probably because, if you're asking for that kind of money, you might want to show up for the hearing.

Sheriff Ralph "Iron Chef" Johnson was at a cooking school at the time:

Johnson was at Freeport High School at WZEP’s 14th Annual Taste of Home Cooking School when the County Commission unanimously denied his request for $311,431 for 911 equipment.

WZEP co-owner Marty Dees said the Sheriff’s Office is one of the event’s sponsors. It’s unclear when Johnson committed to attend.

...Dees said Johnson was one of about 700 people who attended the cooking school when the doors opened at 4:30 p.m. That was about the time that the County Commission denied the Sheriff’s Office request for the money.

Sheriff Johnson may try to appeal the commission's decision, this time bringing a delightful Grilled Bruschetta with Rosemary-White Bean Purée & Heirloom Tomatoes.

via NWF Daily News

Corporate Bias Against IT Techs

Basline explores the gaffes that keep "geeks out of the board room":

Like it or not, a person's fashion choices can have a definite effect on how far they move up the corporate ladder. Those who fail to portray success in the clothing they wear tend to get pegged as someone without "executive potential." Unfortunately, many geeks looking for a ticket away from help desk duty and into the board room tend to hamstring their chances by ignoring this unspoken rule of business. Here's some advice to wean you off these practices.

Some of those are ties with short sleeved shirts, tight black jeans, oversized Hawaiin shirts, and yes....socks with sandals.

via Baseline

Thundercunt Sets Limbo Bar Dangerously Low

Hillary Clinton has really lost it. The above is a photo was emailed to the Drudge Report by Clinton staffers:

With a week to go until the Texas and Ohio primaries, stressed Clinton staffers circulated a photo over the weekend of a "dressed" Barack Obama.
The photo, taken in 2006, shows the Democrat frontrunner fitted as a Somali Elder, during his visit to Wajir, a rural area in northeastern Kenya.

The Obama camp responds:

Plouffe said in a statement: “On the very day that Senator Clinton is giving a speech about restoring respect for America in the world, her campaign has engaged in the most shameful, offensive fear-mongering we’ve seen from either party in this election. This is part of a disturbing pattern that led her county chairs to resign in Iowa, her campaign chairman to resign in New Hampshire, and it’s exactly the kind of divisive politics that turns away Americans of all parties and diminishes respect for America in the world," said Plouffe.

I'm amazed. I did not expect these kinds of tactics until the general election. By Republicans.

Here's a clip from a couple of days ago where Senator Thundercunt accuses Barry of using "tactics right out of Karl Rove's playbook."



Really, Thundercunt? Mailers about healthcare are more Rovian than smearing a black man with a funny name, using a photo that preys on the xenophobic fears of the weak minded?

Furthermore, another of your new strategies is the use of sarcasm?



Shame on you, Hillary Clinton. You are truly America at it's worst.

I look forward to the day that Clinton, Inc. is relegated to the dustbins of history.

UPDATE:
The Clinton campaign puts out a response from Maggie Williams, which doesn't respond to the question of whether a staffer was circulating the photo of Obama in Somali garb, but takes issue with the Obama campaign's embrace of the issue:

Enough.

If Barack Obama's campaign wants to suggest that a photo of him wearing traditional Somali clothing is divisive, they should be ashamed. Hillary Clinton has worn the traditional clothing of countries she has visited and had those photos published widely.

This is nothing more than an obvious and transparent attempt to distract from the serious issues confronting our country today and to attempt to create the very divisions they claim to decry.

We will not be distracted.


via Drudge Report / Politico

Local Paper Wants in on McCain's Many Non-Morman Wives Story

Usually I read my local paper just for the funny stories about goat fuckers or how Baby Jeebus should teach science classes.

Not today, my friends.

We've got a real scoop about Solomon Juan McCain's many many wives:

That McCain divorced his first wife in 1980 and shortly thereafter married into money and launched his political career isn’t news to anyone who’s followed his rise to the expected GOP nomination.
But the fact that the Arizona senator’s divorce occurred in Okaloosa County might surprise some people.

Okay, but I haven't read anything about donkey punching lobbyists or black babies so far. How does this relate to me?

McCain’s divorce is likely to become fodder for discussion following a story last week in The New York Times that suggests McCain may have had an inappropriate relationship with lobbyist Vicki Iseman during his first presidential campaign in 2000.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So you just mention the lobbyist's name in the story, making a perfect segue.

Carry on:

McCain, 71, has never denied that he was involved in an extra-marital affair when he filed to divorce his first wife, Carol, in January 1980. McCain was a U.S. Navy officer stationed in Jacksonville at the time.
Carol McCain, Internet reports state, had been disfigured in an automobile accident while McCain was a prisoner of war in Vietnam. Their marriage did not survive long after his return.
He met Cindy Hensley, a former cheerleader whose family ran one of the country’s largest Anheuser-Bush distributorships, at a reception in Hawaii in 1979, according to numerous accounts.
Fort Walton Beach attorney Bud Day, a Medal of Honor recipient and a prisoner of war with McCain in North Vietnam, drew up McCain’s divorce papers.


OMGEEZ!!! MIKANE DEVORSUD N MY SITTY!!!!

Thanks, Daily News!!!

You can read the divorce settlement here. If it matters that much to you.

I'll just stick to making cheap black baby/white lobbyist sexy time jokes.

via NWF Daily News

Illegal Immigration Hits Home

Okaloosa County lawmen busted local businesses while searching for illegals.

In the process, one of my fave Mexican restaurants (who doesn't skimp on on the strength of teh ritas) is now closed. One of the few in town that had a liquor license and did not ruin ritas with fucking wine.

Fuck you Tom Tancredo.

via NWF Daily News

New Hampshire Hates Mittens

First, the Concord Moniter gives Mitt an anti-endorsement.

Now, the Union Leader gives the scary spaceman the same treatment.

They say he lacks conviction, which is code for "Your religion is fucking nuts, you have secret handshakes, you wear magic pajamas, and ummmmm that kinda creeps us out."