Today In Palin News

1) A hilarious memo from a Palin 2012 adviser obtained by Gawker:

John Coale, currently advising Sarah Palin on running for president in 2012, is a Scientologist. And according to a memo obtained by Gawker, Coale once plotted to use friendly politicians to advance the power-hungry cult's agenda.

Coale is a prominent Washington power broker and husband to Fox News' Greta Van Susteren. According to the Washington Post, he is running Palin's political action committee behind the scenes and "guiding [her] political image in Washington."

In 1986, he masterminded a plan—which was never executed—for Scientology to get into the "MONEY and VOTES game" in order to "create power" for Scientology and win influence Washington, D.C



and 2) Kay Bailey Hutchison just scored some major points with us:

Sarah Palin now seems to be fair game for Republicans too.

She endorsed Rick Perry, who faces a primary for governor of Texas against Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, and Hutchison's political director, KC Jones, is promoting a mocking editorial about Perry and Palin.

"Better late than never! The Texarkana Gazette may have published this editorial last month, but we thought it was still worth bringing to your attention. Enjoy!" Jones writes of an editorial titled, "Alaska’s governor could be more hindrance than help."

"When it comes down to it, Palin doesn’t know Eskimo from Alamo about Texas government and politics. What’s more, she is unlikely to care," said the editorial. "If Perry relies too heavily on Palin, he may find himself with a lot of time to watch Russians from her front porch come January 2011."

Checkin' In With Chuck

Taking a page from the Paultard playbook, WorldNetDaily hitman Chuck Norris mulls the idea of a Texas secession. And guess who would be president? Chuck Norris:

On Glenn Beck's radio show last week, I quipped in response to our wayward federal government, "I may run for president of Texas."

That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.

From the East Coast to the "Left Coast," America seems to be moving further and further from its founders' vision and government.

...Thomas Jefferson counseled us, "We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt." Yet the Feds have just skyrocketed our national deficit and debt by trillions of dollars, and it plans much more fiscal expansion with few expectations of resistance. Despite that George Washington admonished, "To contract new debts is not the way to pay for old ones," we keep borrowing and bailing, while we watch the stock market plunge further every time we do.

...Patrick Henry taught that, "Our Constitution is … an instrument for its people to restrain the government." Yet our Congress and president stampede that founding document, overlook its explicitness and manipulate its words to abandon a balance of power and accommodate their own desires, partisan politics and runaway spending.


Whoa. It's like the Doctor Congressman L. Ron Paultard has possessed the body of Chuck.

It gets better worse:

When I appeared on Glenn Beck's radio show, he told me that someone had asked him, "Do you really believe that there is going to be trouble in the future?" And he answered, "If this country starts to spiral out of control and Mexico melts down or whatever, if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country (which it would have under I think the Republicans as well in this situation; they were taking us to the same place, just slower), Americans won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up." Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, "And where's that going to come from?" He answered his own question, "Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?" I replied, "Oh yeah!" Definitely.

It was these types of thoughts that led me to utter the tongue-n-cheek frustration on Glenn Beck's radio show, "I may run for president of Texas!"

I'm not saying that other states won't muster the gumption to stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it. As most know, Texas was its own country before it joined the Union as its 28th state. From 1836 to 1846, Texas was its own Republic. Washington-on-the-Brazos (river) served as our Philadelphia, Pa. It was there, on March 2, 1836, where a band of patriots forged the Texas Declaration of Independence. (We just celebrated these dates last week.)

...As Sam Houston once said, "Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may."

Just last Friday, the Alamo celebrated its 173rd commemoration, when on March 6, 1836, Texans under Col. William B. Travis were overcome by the Mexican army after a two-week siege at the Alamo in San Antonio. But they didn't go down without a hell-of-a-fight, as those roughly 145 Texans fought to their dying breaths against more than 2,000 Mexican forces under Gen. Santa Anna. (Casualties in the battle were 189 Texans vs. about 1,600 Mexicans.) They lost that battle, but would provide the inspiration to win the war. Their fighting spirit rallied the new-found republic, and still does to this day. So when you think all is lost in America, remember the Alamo!

For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

Again, Sam Houston put it well when he gave the marching orders, "We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid: None is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father's name."


Chuck Norris is a secret Mexican Paultard.

OMGIHADN'TTHOUGHTOFTHATJOKELOL

Jesus Christ.

From Ben Smith:

On sale at the Texas GOP convention. The speakers were generally respectful of Obama, the Dallas Morning News reports, but this is the sort of stuff that the RNC has been warning state parties about for months.

Texas Court: Reuniting Kids With Kid Touchers

The same state that brought us executions of the retarded and the arrests of gay adults having sex in their own home now seems to be pretty cool with adults fucking children.

As long as Space Jesus told them to.

From Desert News:

An Austin appeals court has ruled that Texas child welfare authorities acted improperly in removing more than 450 children from the FLDS Church's YFZ Ranch.
The 3rd Court of Appeals ruled on a legal challenge by a group of FLDS mothers seeking to have their children returned to them immediately.

Lawyers for the mothers said the ruling only affects 38 FLDS mothers and their children, but they expect it will be interpreted by the courts to include the hundreds of other children taken in the early April raid.

"CPS was not justified in removing these children," said Cynthia Martinez of the Texas Rio Grande Legal Aid Society, which is representing the mothers. "They did not provide any evidence that the children were in danger, and they acted hastily in removing the children."

Brian Sliter Ends Run For Mayor Of Touchytown

What kind of world do we live in when a registered sex offender can't run for public office?

Brian "Mr. McFeely" Sliter has ended his run for mayor of Wilmer, Texas:

The registered sex offender running for mayor that catapulted this southern Dallas County town into an international media frenzy has dropped out of the race.
James Brian Sliter, 42, was placed on deferred adjudication several years ago and registered as a sex offender after he claims he was “set up” in a police sting operation. He had made arrangements to meet an underage girl for sex, according to published media reports.

"I've been convinced by the probation department to drop out of the race for mayor in the best interests of all concerned,” Sliter stated in a news release submitted after The Ellis County Press’ Internet radio show last night.

“My biggest concern is that my motivation for running and putting myself through this ordeal will go unnoticed. At this point, I feel I've done all I can for the community in focusing international attention on the problems in Wilmer."

Problems like registered sex offenders living in Wilmer.

via Ellis County Press

To Catch A Mayor

Texas is pretty fucked up. How fucked up? Fucked up enough to have a registered sex offender run for mayor of one of it's cities.

Inspired by the heroic tale of Carl Stanley McGee, Brian Sliter is running for mayor of Wilmer, Texas. People are all upset and stuff just because he was caught in a police sting while trying to bone a 15yo girl:

Brian Sliter said late Friday he accepts responsibility for his arrest and has received counseling that has helped "turn my life around."

"I don't expect anybody in the public to condone what I did and I don't expect anybody to forgive what I did," said Sliter, 42. "What I do hope is people look at my current character ... . People can rehabilitate and make themselves a better person."

Sliter was arrested after arranging a meeting with whom he thought was a teenager, according to state records. He was charged with attempting to commit sexual assault of a child and placed on 10 years probation, records show.

Sliter is eligible to run for office in Wilmer, a town of about 3,400 just south of Dallas, because he was never convicted. He received deferred adjudication, which means he will not be convicted if he successfully completes probation.

"Someone told me, `Make something positive come from this,'" Sliter said. "I feel really bad about it, really embarrassed about it, really awful about it. I am really glad there is no direct victim. I thank God for that every day."


via AP

Now You Can Get That Double-headed Dildo You Always Wanted

A federal appeals court has overturned Texas' ban on sex toys.

And this story has overturned my stomache.

via The Daily Breeze