G-20 Furry Kegger Update

Our monies are fixed, so you can stop worrying now.

A new romance has bloomed this Spring.

Michelle Obama date raped some old hemophiliac blue hair.

President Unicorn broke up a fight.

The French whoremonger and the secret Putin buttpuppet want Timothy Geithner's job.

John McCain Will Give America Some Kind Of Elderly AIDS

Hey, did you know that WALNUTS! is like 100 million years old?

Brave New Pac and Democracy for America released this ad, pointing out that John McCain is older than all previous presidents......combined and has had every type of cancers ever since he was 12:

Brave New Pac and Democracy for America, a group the Times points out today is lead by Howard Dean's brother, are up with a spot questioning John McCain's health and demanding he release his medical records.

Though it's a tiny ad buy on MSNBC, the images are striking, and readers have reported seeing it this morning.

McCain did, in fact, allow reporters to look over more than a thousand pages of his health records, though he hasn't released them more broadly.

Republican National Committee spokesman Alex Conant responds:

“Barack Obama’s liberal allies are launching a partisan attack at the precise moment we should be putting politics aside and working to solve the problem. These sorts of false attacks by special interest groups are part of what’s wrong with Washington.”

People Who Have Seen John McCain Naked Says He's OK

The elderly coupon enthusiast has released his medical records.

He had cancers. He takes lots of pills. He is old:

He broke both arms and a leg when he ejected and spent the next 5½ years as a prisoner of war in Hanoi. During that time, he was beaten and tortured repeatedly, suffering fractures of both shoulders. Because he received no treatment for his fractures, they healed improperly, leaving him with reduced range of motion for his shoulders, arms and right knee, Eckstein said.

McCain takes a daily aspirin to prevent formation of blood clots; an occasional Zyrtec, an antihistamine used for nasal allergies; and the sleep agent Ambien CR for treatment of insomnia when he travels.

McCain takes a daily aspirin to prevent formation of blood clots; an occasional Zyrtec, an antihistamine used for nasal allergies; and the sleep agent Ambien CR for treatment of insomnia when he travels.

The former pilot also sometimes experiences occasional dizziness when he stands, a benign condition called positional vertigo, Eckstein said.

John McCain is an elderly dizzy sleepwalking Adonis.

Pawpaw McCain Throws Secret Service Under The Bus

McCain Declines Secret Service, Dares Assassins To Try Something

via The Onion

Atleast One Bitter Old White Lady Likes Hopey

Elderly Juan McCain Really Is A Senile Mean Old Fuck

The Washington Post interviewed a billion people to prove it. Here are some of the accounts proving that Pawpaw should just forget this president business and take a nap:

It was early 1992, and the occasion was an informal gathering of a select committee investigating lingering issues about Vietnam War prisoners and those missing in action, most notably whether any American servicemen were still being held by the Vietnamese. It is unclear precisely what issue set off McCain that day. But at some point, he mocked Grassley to his face and used a profanity to describe him. Grassley stood and, according to two participants at the meeting, told McCain, "I don't have to take this. I think you should apologize."

McCain refused and stood to face Grassley. "There was some shouting and shoving between them, but no punches," recalls a spectator, who said that Nebraska Democrat Bob Kerrey helped break up the altercation.

...Part of the paradox of McCain is that many of the old targets of his volcanic temper are now his campaign contributors. Former Phoenix mayor Paul Johnson is one example. In 1992, during a private meeting of Arizona officials over a federal land issue that affected the state, a furious McCain openly questioned Johnson's honesty. "Start a tape recorder -- it's best when you get a liar on tape," McCain said to others in the meeting, according to an account of their "nose-to-nose, testosterone-filled" argument that Johnson later provided to reporters.

...In 1994, McCain tried to stop a primary challenge to the state's Republican governor, J. Fife Symington III, by telephoning his opponent, Barbara Barrett, the well-heeled spouse of a telecommunications executive, and warning of unspecified "consequences" should she reject his advice to drop out of the race. Barrett stayed in. At that year's state Republican convention, McCain confronted Sandra Dowling, the Maricopa County school superintendent and, according to witnesses, angrily accused her of helping to persuade Barrett to enter the race.

"You better get [Barrett] out or I'll destroy you," a witness claims that McCain shouted at her. Dowling responded that if McCain couldn't respect her right to support whomever she chose, that he "should get the hell out of the Senate." McCain shouted an obscenity at her, and Dowling howled one back.

However, we have to cut him a break. He is a war hero that lost his shins and killed fitty men.

Plus, you would be angry too if your balls smelled like Depends.

via WaPo

Imaginary Leak Of Tomorrow's This Week Interview With Pawpaw McCain

Sadly, we all know the actual interview ends with Stephanopoulos rimming Juan McCain while he's napping. Then, the Republican Condo Association President violently awakes and snaps George's neck thinking he is a "gook."

via BraveNewFilms

Elderly Juan McCain Is Totally Queer For Doughnuts

With sprinkles.

Have We Mentioned How Elderly Juan McCain Is?

Howard Dean leaked the possible brilliant strategy the Dems will use come this November against Republican Condo Association President WALNUTS!. Guess what it is?

He's old.

Like salve-loving coupon-cutting elderly:

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean said Thursday that swing voters participating in focus groups commissioned by the D.N.C. bring up John McCain's age unprompted.

"We didn't bring it up, but they volunteered it," said Dean who explained that voters have two concerns about McCain's age. "One was a health concern, the other was, and this is really interesting . . . that his views are old-fashioned."

At the age of 72, McCain would be the oldest newly elected president in U.S. history if inaugurated in 2009.

Referring to what Dean characterized as the party's most conservative focus group in Charleston, W. Va., the DNC chairman said "the women in that group were shocked that [McCain] believed health insurance shouldn't cover birth control pills and they were shocked about his belief in abstinence only education."

While knocking McCain's "old-fashioned" views, Dean maintained that the Democratic Party was unlikely to invoke McCain's age in the fall campaign.

So while not overtly calling McNasty a demented undead codger, they will still use key words like "old-fashioned." Or incontinent, decrepit, shattered, infirm, or Werther's Original.

via Free Republic

Juan McCain Has Another Senior Moment At Iraq Hearing

Poor Pawpaw. He just can't seem to get his A-rabs right.

Cankles McGee Loves Earth, Recycles 3am Ad

Hillary Clinton has recycled her 3am ad, this time directed at the elderly John McCain. Since he is so elderly, he goes to sleep at 6pm. Also, he is deaf, so he couldn't hear the phone ring anyway.

What Cankles McGee doesn't factor in is that WALNUTS! will be awake at 3am on account of his going problem.

Campaign Takes Gross Turn

The MSM wants to talk about cancer. More specifically, the elderly Juan McCain's face cancer. Watch the video to learn about the scandal that could transfer the power of the POTUS from an elderly Spanish-American War folklore hero to the bronzed hands of a scary Space Christian robot:




Sooooooo, this has to do with Universal Healthcare? I'm confused.

Elderly McCain Shocks World, Is Awake For Letterman

Happy Anniversary

Two Virginia men will celebrate 50 years together in April:

Cook, an 88-year-old retired teacher and school counselor, and Cole, a 78-year-old retired physician, are poised to celebrate their 50th anniversary April 15 with a cocktail party among friends. At last week’s Servicemembers Legal Defense Network dinner in Washington, the two were recognized on stage for reaching their Golden Anniversary.

During a lengthy phone interview last week from their second home in Virginia Beach, the two recalled the fateful 1958 cocktail party where they met in Farmville, Va.

“We were introduced and we found each other attractive and pleasant and nice and so we started going together,” Cook says.

...“We have traveled the world, we have made money, we have a host of friends throughout the world and we continue to have a very wonderful life together.”

via Towleroad

Elderly Panamanian Juan McCain Endorsed By Nancy Reagan's Tarot Cards

Hooray for WALNUTS! The endorsements just keep getting better and better. This time it's from former First Lady of Astrology Nancy Reagan.

Let's hear from the elderly stars of Cocoon III:

Fredneck Wakes From Hibernation To Punish Us With More Shitty Acting

Former part-time presidential candidate / master thesbian Fred "Big Al" Thompson has just signed an acting deal:

Former Republican presidential hopeful Fred Thompson is returning to his career as an actor and signed a deal to be represented by the William Morris Agency, the talent group said on Monday.

Thompson, a former U.S. senator from Tennessee, is best known in the entertainment world for portraying New York District Attorney Arthur Branch on the television crime drama "Law & Order," but has appeared in numerous films and TV shows over the years.

Wanna know what you're in for? Here's a taste:



Because of this, I officially volunteer to chair the "Draft Fred for 2012" campaign.

via Reuters

A Few Suggestions For The Pensacola Opera

We here at brickback jumped at the opportunity to use complimentary balcony tickets to the Pensacola Opera's production of La Boheme. As a rule, those of us who live in NW Florida have only the Billy Bowlegs festival ( fantastic opportunity to get drunk while dressed as a pirate) or the Mullet Festival ( fantastic opportunity to drink lots of beer while wearing NASCAR shirts and trucker hats with fish hooks in 'em) to look forward to all year.

The Pensacola Opera brought it's production to a local college, of which we attened the Sunday matinee.

Maybe I'm used to my hometown venue, the Fox, but would it kill anyone down here to serve some fucking wine at these things? I mean, really.

Don't get me wrong. We downed a bottle of champagne before we went. However, if we're gonna have to sit through a watered down version of an already tedious storyline, the least you could do is let us overpay for some cheap cab. Especially if we have to sit next to some stodgy old blue hair who kept giving us the stank eye because i wanted to use the armrest too.

Got it?

Also, there was no reason for you to import the set and props from NYC. It's La Boheme. The scenes take place in a dingy loft, a cafe courtyard, another courtyard, and......yeh, that same dingy loft. Isn't that what freshman art students and illegals are for?

W Gives WALNUTS! Endorsement

"This is my friend. Call him shorty. heh heh. Went to Vietnamistan. Got hurt. Can't raise his arms above his head. Real easy to play keep away. heh heh. A true American hero. Won't back down to our enemies. He's old. Got a black baby. He's a senator, from Ar-i-zona. Smells like my mom. heh heh."

I'm Voting for George W Bush

These election thingys are really not my bag. I wanna see W dance for eight more years.

Below is a video of the Decider tap dancing while waiting for elderly Condo Association President John McCain to arrive at the White House / Future Nursing Home.....House for a meeting/endorsement, of which I'll post later.

George W Bush has danced his way in to my heart and I really wish I knew how to quit him.

John McCain Elected President of Condo Association

WALNUTS! has won the GOP nomination! Black babies and all.

Shhhh. Not too loud.

He's sleeping.

via MSNBC