Angry Kid Touchers Angered At President Who Kills/Eats Babies Before They Reach Ripe Age Of 8

As was expected:

It's telling that the pro-life guys doing the protesting are both men who clearly didn't graduate recently. I'm all for public protests, but there's an astroturf quality to some of these religious right protests, and conservative protests overall. You'd think, if the students were truly upset that Obama was coming to their school, that some - uh - students themselves might protest?


Def lacks the subtlety of dead baby dolls in Spongebob strollers.


via AMERICAblog

Alan Keyes' Super Gross Open Letter To Baby Eaters

Oh my!

If you haven't heard the news, President Obama is going to give one of his fancy erection speeches at Notre Dame, a college for future kid touchers.

Many people are upset about this. (Baby Jesus?)

Crazy Jesus person and Obama arch-enemy Alan Keyes is furious and wrote an insane letter to whatever giant Spider Monster runs the college:

When I read of slavery in my youth I could not understand why so many tolerated such evil for so long. I asked God to help me never in my life to be such as they were. Once I fully understood the nature of the abortion issue, I was moved to stand against abortion and the slaughter of innocent life as I would have wanted all people of conscience and goodwill to stand against slavery and the rape of my forbears' liberty. When people suggest that Barack Obama shares some heritage with me, I know better. For the truest test of that heritage is not the color of someone's skin, but the determination of their heart, never to stand silently by while God's fundamental law of justice is denied to persons whose only crime is the unjustly despised appearance of their humanity.


As a result, if Keyes steps foot on the campus, he will be arrested. Fun!

The best part is the follow-up statement Keyes released which is just batshit disgusting sentence after batshit disgusting sentence about dead babies, menses, or whatever happens down there to a lady.

Enjoy:

Christ said:

"31 When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: 32 And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: 33 And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. 34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35 For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:31-40)"


These words must ring in the ears of faithful Christians as they consider the grim reality of abortion. Every time abortionists rip a child limb from limb within the womb; every time they crush the fragile head; every time they scorch the life from its body with a death dealing solution; every time they scrape its nascent cells of life from the walls of a womb- Jesus is savagely beaten again; his skull pressed down with thorns; his limbs pulled savagely in their sockets; his hands and feet pierced through with nails; his breath drawn with fiery pain; his life finally extinguished; every time.

And every time there stands vociferous in the crowd, the ambitious man of blood, Barack Obama. He is justifying the torture, forcing bystanders to aid in the atrocity, assuring that the nails are paid for and the henchmen of evil well fed and rewarded for their role in the daily crucifixion. Even the garments of the innocent children (their little organs or stem cells), like the vesture of Christ, he prepares for division among those who perpetrate the slaughter.


Good lord. And to think I thought it was like this the whole time.

Thanks, Alan!


via CBN

IKEA Spokesperson "Contemporary" Oscar Wilde

Polish Catholic letter writers got the smackdown from IKEA after complaining about homosexual Devilgoats appearing in the catalog:

“Homosexuality is one of the essential elements of living in contemporary society.”

Official IKEA spokesperson’s response to pressure from grumpy Polish Catholics (namely a letter writing campaign) who had a hoo haa because they wanted queer couples removed from the IKEA catalog. The item in question was, according to The Ikea Fans Blog the most recent “IKEA Family Live 2009 publication, 12 archetypes of different family makeup are presented under the slogan ‘Family life is changing … Welcome to the new era.’ One of the 12 example families presented is Ian and Steve, page 54 -57 (see item 1 and item 2), who have no interest in having children, but enjoy their IKEA Kitchen and herb garden and their awesome digs.


via jockohomo

Today's Godtube Moment

Bobby Jindal: Demon Warrior

Before Louisiana Governer Bobby Jindal was a candidate for life partner to Juan McCain's 100 Year Crusade Against Gay Messican Abortions™, he was a young bright-eyed college student who spent his spare time casting demons out of his friends.

In a 1994 essay he wrote for the New Oxford Review, Jindal describes an encounter with his friend Susan. She had the cancers and started acting wierd and smelling really bad. One night at a prayer meeting, Susan collapsed and had a seizure.....sooooo.....yeh, it was time for a exorcism:

The students, led by Susan's sister and Louise, a member of a charismatic church, engaged in loud and desperate prayers while holding Susan with one hand. Kneeling on the ground, my friends were chanting, "Satan, I command you to leave this woman." Others exhorted all "demons to leave in the name of Christ." It is no exaggeration to note the tears and sweat among those assembled. Susan lashed out at the assembled students with verbal assaults.

...Whenever I concentrated long enough to begin prayer, I felt some type of physical force distracting me. It was as if something was pushing down on my chest, making it very hard for me to breathe. . . Though I could find no cause for my chest pains, I was very scared of what was happening to me and Susan. I began to think that the demon would only attack me if I tried to pray or fight back; thus, I resigned myself to leaving it alone in an attempt to find peace for myself.

After a few hours, the girl tried to get up and escape, but her friends date raped pinned her back down to the floor and continued the Good Baby Jeebus' work:

Maybe she sensed our weariness; whether by plan or coincidence, Susan chose the perfect opportunity to attempt an escape. She suddenly leapt up and ran for the door, despite the many hands holding her down. This burst of action served to revive the tired group of students and they soon had her restrained once again, this time half kneeling and half standing.

After this didn't work, they tried to get a help from a preacher. He refused, because he realized that they were batshit fucking crazy. Then this:

It appeared as if we were observing a tremendous battle between the Susan we knew and loved and some strange evil force. But the momentum had shifted and we now sensed that victory was at hand.
While Alice and Louise held Susan, her sister continued holding the Bible to her face. Almost taunting the evil spirit that had almost beaten us minutes before, the students dared Susan to read biblical passages. She choked on certain passages and could not finish the sentence "Jesus is Lord." Over and over, she repeated "Jesus is L..L..LL," often ending in profanities. In between her futile attempts, Susan pleaded with us to continue trying and often smiled between the grimaces that accompanied her readings of Scripture. Just as suddenly as she went into the trance, Susan suddenly reappeared and claimed "Jesus is Lord."

With an almost comical smile, Susan then looked up as if awakening from a deep sleep and asked, "Has something happened?" She did not remember any of the past few hours and was startled to find her friends breaking out in cheers and laughter, overwhelmed by sudden joy and relief.

So, there you go. And you thought Dick Cheney was creepy.

via TPM

One Group Of Scary People Overtakes Other Group Of Scary People

According to the Vatican, Islam has overtaken Roman Catholicism as the largest "single religious denomination in the world.":

Monsignor Vittorio Formenti, who compiled the Vatican's newly-released 2008 yearbook of statistics, said Muslims made up 19.2 percent of the world's population and Catholics 17.4 percent.

"For the first time in history we are no longer at the top: the Muslims have overtaken us," Formenti told Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano in an interview, saying the data referred to 2006.

He said that if all Christian groups were considered, including Orthodox churches, Anglicans and Protestants, then Christians made up 33 percent of the world's population -- or about 2 billion people.

The Vatican recently put the number of Catholics in the world at 1.13 billion people. It did not provide a figure for Muslims, generally estimated at around 1.3 billion.

The report stated the reason for this was higher birth rates among Muslims, which is news to us.

Either way, Lou Dobbs should really back off the Messicans and reconsider his position.

I for one would rather press 1 for English than have to forego libations.

via Reuters

WALNUTS!' New BFF

Elderly Juan McCain has a new friend. And it's someone who loves Baby Jeebus. Not like one of his many other Pagan liberal baby-eating gay Messican friends.

Pastor John Hagee has endorsed Pawpaw McCain!!!

Let's get to know him:




Um, okay. But what does he think about when he's not busy hating Nazi/Anti-Nazi Popes?

From the DNC:

Hagee on Hurricane Katrina
"All hurricanes are acts of God because God controls the heavens. I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that." [NPR Fresh Air, 9/18/06]

Hagee on Islamic Beliefs
Fresh Air host Terry Gross asked if Hagee believed that "all Muslims have a mandate to kill Christians and Jews," to which Hagee replied, "Well, the Quran teaches that. Yes, it teaches that very clearly." [NPR Fresh Air, 9/18/06]

Hagee on African-Americans
The San Antonio Express-News reported that Hagee was going to "meet with black religious leaders privately at an unspecified future date to discuss comments he made in his newsletter about a 'slave sale,' an East Side minister said Wednesday." The Express-News reported:

"Hagee, pastor of the 16,000-member Cornerstone Church, last week had announced a 'slave sale' to raise funds for high school seniors in his church bulletin, 'The Cluster.'

"The item was introduced with the sentence 'Slavery in America is returning to Cornerstone" and ended with "Make plans to come and go home with a slave." [San Antonio Express-News 3/7/96]

Hagee on Catholicism
"Most readers will be shocked by the clear record of history linking Adolf Hitler and the Roman Catholic Church in a conspiracy to exterminate the Jews." [Jerusalem Countdown by John Hagee]

Hagee on Women
"Do you know the difference between a woman with PMS and a snarling Doberman pinscher? The answer is lipstick. Do you know the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can negotiate with a terrorist." [God's Profits: Faith, Fraud and the Republican Crusade for Values Voters, Sarah Posner]

"[T]he feminist movement today is throwing off authority in rebellion against God's pattern for the family." ["Bible Positions on Political Issues," John Hagee]

Hagee on LGBT Americans
"The newspaper carried the story in our local area that was not carried nationally that there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came. And the promise of that parade was that it was going to reach a level of sexuality never demonstrated before in any of the other Gay Pride parades. So I believe that the judgment of God is a very real thing. I know that there are people who demur from that, but I believe that the Bible teaches that when you violate the law of God, that God brings punishment sometimes before the day of judgment." [NPR Fresh Air, 9/18/06]

Hagee on Iran
"The coming nuclear showdown with Iran is a certainty," Hagee wrote [in 2006] in the Pentecostal magazine Charisma. "Israel and America must confront Iran's nuclear ability and willingness to destroy Israel with nuclear weapons. For Israel to wait is to risk committing national suicide." [The Nation, 8/8/2006, http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060814/new_christian_zionism]

WALNUTS! needs new friends. What about that nice mocha man, what's his name, Powell?

No?

Well, Hagee can't be that bad........



Oh.

via ABC
DNC
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